Imagine using all you've learned working a 9 to 5, taking a leap of faith into entrepreneurship, and finding success in working with major corporate clients—all before the age of 30.
This is Chelsea C. Hayes' reality. In 2014, she left corporate life behind to follow her dream of helping companies and everyday professionals use strategic communications to maximize success and sometimes resolve sticky situations.
The 28-year-old California native has been able to leverage her early career experience working in human resources for entities, such as GE and the Los Angeles Sparks, to launch her firm The Coaching Factory LLC, which boasts a client list that includes Eli Lilly, General Mills and NBC. Even Insecure actress Yvonne Orji has raved about her skills and glow up, and Hayes has since expanded her empire into coaching celebrities.
"My background is in corporate HR, so everything I do revolves around people. For such a long time HR was thought of as hiring and firing, but it's much more complex than that. It's very strategic," she said during an xoNecole interview. "HR is really about balancing the needs of an organization with balancing the needs of the incredible people within that organization. It's a really delicate balance and when you're good at it, people tell you. I've worked for some incredible women [in corporate diversity.]"
"I think in that process, I learned that whatever I did in life I wanted to revolve around people at work. That was the foundation."
Chelsea C. Hayes, SPHR CEO & Principal Consultant
Courtesy of Chelsea C. Hayes
Hayes' rep with communications also landed her a feature by The Hollywood Reporter, where she rewrote the infamous Steve Harvey memo that brought backlash to the popular radio and TV host and had everybody from The Breakfast Club to Jimmy Kimmel to CNN weighing in on his harshly-worded, post-show guidelines for staff. Hayes was able to share her nuanced version to better communicate the message without sparking offense or negative publicity.
Don't get it twisted though. Entrepreneurship wasn't always in the plan for her.
Post-college, she had great jobs and made a good living, something all college grads desire in order to cash in on their educational investments. Hayes had earned not one, but two bachelor's degrees, and was fortunate enough to get a headstart in building a pretty impressive resume. She practically stumbled upon launching her own business after getting a chance opportunity to lend a helping hand to a friend who was working on a project with the LAPD. This friend, who knew about her experience in the corporate world, thought her to be perfect for the opportunity. (Talk about the power of a great reputation and good relationships.)
"I thought I would never be an entrepreneur because math and science was really challenging for me," Hayes recalled. "That worked out fine because I had really amazing bosses, and I felt supported everywhere I worked. And then, [I participated in] the LAPD project. It was a really great experience for me. That was my first client—though I didn't know it at the time. Afterward, they were talking about me, and I said, 'Do you think I can use your logo on my website to get other clients?' and they said, 'Absolutely.' So that was how this business was started. Literally every single one of my clients has been word of mouth."
"To be honest, I think word of mouth is the strongest [way to market the] business that you have."
Hayes leads seminars and trainings on HR best practices, leadership, strategic communications and management skills. She also helps celebrities fine-tune their messages and presence to ensure they protect their reputations and don't end up on the wrong side of a scandal or in a PR nightmare.
"I love that it's my job to go into companies and have fun with people. Of course, it is my job to teach them, but people want to have fun. Any entrepreneur is selling an experience," she said. "[Coaching celebrities] one-on-one is fun because every single day is so different … Sometimes it can be as simple as writing an email that they're having a tough time writing, or it's helping them manage their team when someone is not performing correctly and giving them the language to make that happen."
Being a young boss can have its challenges, especially in a male-dominated world of high-earning executives and entertainers. Hayes is no stranger to assumptions about her abilities based on her age, but she likes to combat insecurities and doubts with humility and a commitment to excellence. Hayes keeps a smile and holds on to confidence in her own abilities in order to provide the best services and grow her business.
"You have to be comfortable in your own skin. I'm a woman, I'm black and Chinese, I'm from the Bay. I don't care and all those things add to who I am and they make me more of who I am. My clients respect that and they love that. For me, I approach every single opportunity and every client with a sense that, [yes,] I have this to offer, but I've learned from every one of my clients. They are wicked smart, they have so much going on, and every one inspires me. I think approaching it from that aspect and from that place of gratitude and learning—people can sense that and feel that."
"So when you're young, they'll probably tell you that they're feeling a way about that. It's not personal at all. You have to let your work speak for itself."
In mastering getting out of one's feelings and communicating in a way that is professional yet engaging and effective, Hayes has been able to use her own tricks of the trade to challenge herself and her clients. Building great relationships by knowing the power of emotional intelligence in both written and spoken communication has been a saving grace for Hayes. She offers the following advice for other young women who are seeking to do the same in reaching their business and career goals:
"Be sure about what you're really good at and be sure about where you need growth. Be positive about [those things] every morning when you walk in the door," Hayes advised. "[Also], think bout what you want long-term and don't be afraid to ask for it."
"I work with so many women who are so confident and have literally almost 20 years of work experience and they are struggling asking for what they deserve."
Lastly, Hayes stresses the importance of following the single most important rule most successful women follow: take emotion out of it. "Assume everything is on the record… It's OK to feel emotion— to feel tired, exhausted and frustrated. Those things are OK. If you can, get a team to write [a difficult memo] for you. If you don't have a team [right now], wait for the emotion to pass, give it some time, and then write [the email] again… I learned these things early in my career and they helped me tremendously."
For more of Chelsea, follow her on Instagram.
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While an evolution is a natural progression that happens as businesses grow, a rebrand is a total change. Lola tells xoNecole, "A total rebrand is necessary when a business’s current reputation/what it’s known for is at odds with the business’s vision or direction.
"For example, if you’ve fundamentally changed what your product is and does, it’s likely that your brand is out of alignment with the business. Or, if you find your company is developing a reputation that doesn’t serve it, it might be time to pump the brakes and figure out what needs to change.
She continues, "Sometimes you’ll see companies (especially startups) announce a name change that comes with updated messaging, visuals, etc. That usually means their vision has changed or expanded, and their previous branding was too narrow/couldn’t encompass everything they planned to do."
Feature image courtesy
The Brand Doula was born in 2019, and its focus is on putting "the experiences, goals, and needs of women of color founders first," as well as brands with "culture-shifting missions."
According to Lola, culture-shifting is "the act of influencing dominant behavior, beliefs, or experiences in a community or group (ideally, for the better)."
"At The Brand Doula, we work with companies and leaders that set out to challenge the status quo in their industries and communities. They’re here to make an impact that sends ripples across the market," she says.
"We help the problem solvers of the world — the ones who aren't satisfied with 'this is how it's always been' and instead ask 'how could this be better?' Our clients build for impact, reimagining tools, systems, and ways of living to move cultures forward."
The Brand Doula has worked with many brands, including Too Collective, to assist with their collaboration with Selena Gomez's Rare Beauty and Balanced Black Girl for a "refresh," aka rebrand. For businesses looking to rebrand, Lola shares four essential steps.
1. Do an audit of your current brand experience — what’s still relevant and what needs to change? Reflect on why you’re doing the rebrand in the first place and what success would look like after relaunching.
2. Tackle the overall strategy first — before you start redesigning logos and websites, align on a new vision for your brand. How do you want your company to be positioned moving forward? Has your audience changed at all? Will your company have a fresh personality and voice?
3. Bring your audience along the journey — there’s no need to move in secret. Inviting your current audience into the journey can actually help them feel more connected to and invested in your story, enough to stick around as changes are being made.
4. Keep business moving — one of my biggest pet peeves is when companies take down their websites as soon as they have the idea to rebrand, then have a Coming Soon page up for months! You lose a lot of momentum and interest by doing that. If you’re still in business and generating income, continue to operate while you work on your rebrand behind the scenes. You don’t want to cut existing customers off out of the blue, and you also don’t want so much downtime that folks forget your business exists or start looking for other solutions.
While determining whether the rebrand was successful may take a few months, Lola says a clear sign that it is unsuccessful is negative feedback from your target audience. "Customers are typically more vocal about what they don’t like more than what they do like," she says.
But some good signs to look out for are improvements in engagement with your marketing, positive reviews, press and increase in retention, and overall feeling aligned with the new branding.
For more information about Lola and The Brand Doula, visit her website, thebranddoula.com.
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Now, while it’s another message for another time that if this type of sex-related craving feels impulsive or out of one’s control, it could be a sign of someone who is leaning into some level of sex addiction; however, that is not what we’re going to unpack today. Today, we’re going to look into what could be going on with you if it seems like, lately, you’ve been having a greater desire for sex, and you can’t quite pinpoint why.
Because, just like, say, a craving for a particular type of food oftentimes reveals something that is going on with you physically or mentally — sex cravings tend to bring certain things to light in those same areas, too.
Let’s dig in…
Hormonal Shifts
GiphyAlthough I don’t have social media accounts, I do tiptoe out there to see what’s going on — and boy, do I roll my eyes whenever I hear folks act like being over 40 is old. SMDH. It’s especially annoying when I hear about it in the context of sex because, believe it or not, there are a lot of late perimenopausal and menopausal women who are “gettin’ theirs” more than some of these 20 and 30-year-olds are (just ask them).
One reason is that the fear of experiencing an unplanned pregnancy, for many, is now in their rearview mirror. Another is because some are taking a form of hormone therapy to treat the changes that their system is going through — and when you’re getting more estrogen, progesterone, and/or testosterone into your body (in order to level things out) — HUNNAY.
For other women, even consuming phytoestrogens (plant-based estrogen) like peaches, garlic, berries, spinach, and cabbage can make them want sex more than when those aren’t a part of their diet. Bottom line here, a shift in your sexual hormones can definitely cause you to desire sex more than you have before (or have in a while).
Ovulation
GiphyBack when I was a teen mom director for the local chapter of a national non-profit, something that I used to tell “my daughters” all of the time is when you know that you’re ovulating, that’s when you need to be hypervigilant about using wisdom when it comes to the sex-related decisions that you make. I’m thinking that most of you get why: your body was designed to feel its horniest when you’re able to get pregnant — and that is during your time of ovulation.
That’s why it really is a good idea to keep up with your cycle and, if a baby is not something that is on your priority list right now, you either avoid having sex during that time of the month or make sure to use some form of birth control. Chile, even women with low libidos can find themselves wanting to hang off of a chandelier or two when they are ovulating. It’s nature’s way.
A Healthy Diet
GiphyIf you happen to be someone with a sluggish sex drive and you know that you spend most of your time in a drive-thru, there is probably a direct correlation there. No joke. There is plenty of research out in cyberspace to support the fact that a wack diet and low sex drive have a lot in common. While processed foods and unhealthy fats can throw your (sex) hormones off, foods that are filled with zinc, vitamins B12 and D, and iron can ramp up your desire for intimacy.
This is why many people who decide to make a lifestyle change as far as their eating habits are concerned are oftentimes surprised by how much sex is on their minds and how much easier it is for them to orgasm because of it. While a part of it can be due to a boost in their sexual confidence, a lot of it has to do with consuming foods that will literally feed their libido (in a healthy way).
More Exercise
GiphyPlainly put, exercise makes you hornier. Not only does it boost your testosterone levels, (consistently) working out also lowers your stress levels and gives you a boost in the self-esteem department. On top of that, exercise makes you more flexible, builds up endurance, and increases blood circulation which can turn around and intensify your climaxes as a direct result. In fact, this is oftentimes why people will want to have sex right after a workout session.
While we’re here, let me also share that too much of a good thing can end up being counterproductive. What I mean by that is, that although it is wise to exercise on a regular basis, make sure to not overdo it. Something known as overtraining syndrome can result in fatigue, insomnia, and irritability; no one can really have amazing sex when all of that is going on.
Being a Certain Age
GiphyWhile it used to be said that the sexual peak for men is in their teens and for women, it’s in their 30s (some believe it’s because after 35, it’s more challenging for women to get pregnant and so our biological clock plays a role in it all), some research believes that coming to that conclusion isn’t fair because aging affects people differently. For instance, while on one hand, people in their 40s tend to see a dip in their sex hormones, as we’ve already discussed, hormone therapy (for both men and women) can level some of those issues out, if not increase some people’s sex drives altogether.
Adding to that, it should also go on record that some studies indicate that women between the ages of 27-45 actually have a stronger desire — or craving — for sex than women between the ages of 18-26. So honestly, there goes the myth that being younger (automatically) means that you’re hornier. #Elmoshrug
Certain Medications
GiphyIf you used to have a higher sex drive and you’re currently on an antidepressant, that could be why your desire for copulation has decreased. Some studies say that as much as 40 percent of people who are on these types of medication end up having a lower libido (by the way, antihistamines and beta-blockers can have this effect, too).
On the other hand, if you’ve been taking a prescribed drug to increase your sex drive (perhaps like Vyleesi or Addyi), then it would make sense that you may have an increased libido level. Other meds that may have a similar effect include birth control pills (since they alter your hormones), medications that help to treat Parkinson’s disease, along with dopamine-related drugs.
Less Stress
GiphyIf, on the days when you don’t seem to have a care in the world, you also desire sex more than usual, that’s not a coincidence either. Thing is, when you’re all stressed out, that can cause the stress hormone known as cortisol to work overtime and, when that happens, that can end up suppressing your sex hormones which can deplete you of sexual urges. Ironically, there is a flip side to this because when you engage in sexual activity, that actually elevates feel-good (and bonding) hormones like dopamine, oxytocin, and endorphins, which can also de-stress you.
So basically, if you’re craving sex, you probably aren’t very stressed out (right now), and if you want to stop being stressed out, you probably should have some sex (some protected sex, if you don’t want to be stressed later up the road…if you know what I mean).
Having an Amazing Sex Life
GiphyTo me, this one right here should be a given because when something is both good to and for you, why wouldn’t you want more of it? So yeah, if you have a great sex life with someone, it’s common sense that you’d want to engage in that act with them as much as possible. Hey, not to mention the fact that orgasms activate your brain in a way similar to a drug high does.
So, if while reading this, you’re thinking about sexting your bae to make arrangements to — eh hem — satisfy your craving, I say go for it! To “greatly want” to connect with your partner in order to have some fulfilling and satisfying sex? What in the world could possibly be wrong with that?! Not a damn thing.
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