I've Got REALLY HOT 15 Spring/Summer-Themed Sex Hacks To Try
I like themes. When it comes to sex specifically, I think it's a way to tap into your creative side and surprise your partner with new approaches to copulating. Well, since spring is officially here and summer is on its way, I figured that this would be a great time to share 15 ways where you can bring this time of year into your boudoir in ways that you may have not ever considered before.
Because, after all, the only thing better than sex is the kind that's got plenty of "Whoa. Where did that come from?" energy added to it.
1. Break Out Your Bikini
I know. Typically, when we talk about sex and the art of seduction, it's lingerie that's mentioned. Yet I was surprised that, when I asked some men to describe to me the look that turns them on, a lot of them said that they really enjoy seeing their partner in swimwear. And you know, when I really sit and think about it, I guess that makes sense because the styles of a lot of swimsuits are really sexy. So, in the spirit of spring and summer (which is when we all get into the pool and ocean the most), why not put on your (or his) favorite bathing suit? He probably won't see it coming, it's definitely on-theme and how could he not enjoy taking in the kinds of sights that only happen around this time of the year?
2. DIY Some Lavender Massage Oil
When folks are out on the beach, what's something that they commonly do? Rub sunscreen on their bodies—or each other—right? If you've got on your swimwear, switch it up a bit and swap out sunscreen for massage oil. Massages are beneficial because they relax you, improve blood circulation, increase flexibility, reduce cortisol (stress) levels and can definitely make you feel closer to your partner.
So, whether he's rubbing some oil all over your sex pressure points (check out "Feelin' On These Pressure Points Will Give You The Best Sex Of Your Life") or you're out to give him a tantric massage (check out "Blow Your Man's Mind By Giving Him This Tantalizing Massage"), you definitely can't go wrong by warming up some DIY massage oil first. Hands down, out of all of the essential oils that can help to put you into a mental state of tranquility, lavender would be it. And since it's also a popular summer flower, I'm pretty sure you can see why I went with giving it a massage-scented shout-out. If you want to go this route, a couple of easy recipes for lavender massage oil is located here and here.
3. Buy Some Cooling Sheets
Personally, I'm someone who likes to go to sleep when my bedroom is really cool. I'll turn down my thermostat and, don't put it past me to turn a portable fan on too. Still, I can't tell you how many times I have awakened in the middle of the night to try and figure out why I'm so hot. A few years back, I did some research and discovered that it's usually because our bodies change temperatures throughout the evening.
A way to combat that? Buy some cooling bedsheets. They're specifically designed to allow cool air to surround your body while wicking away moisture that can cause you to feel overheated. On the sex tip, this can really come in handy because most of us get a little hot 'n bothered (in the best way possible, of course) while we're doing-the-do. Anyway, if cooling sheets is something that you'd like to look into, The Sleep Foundation has a list of some of the best ones that are currently on the market. You can check their list out here.
4. Add Some Greenery
One of my favorite things about my bedroom is the tall fake tree that's in one of its corners. It being there just makes the entire space feel more comfortable. There are local arts and craft stores that sell them for a fair price. Shoot, if you put a couple of those in your bedroom and turn the fan on? You could easily find yourself feeling like you're straight up in the middle of a jungle or forest. It's like having outdoor sex without all of the outdoor drama.
5. DIY a Sex Piñata
Most of us know that piñatas are a Mexican-based tradition where a big container is filled with goodies. Usually, they are made out of something like papier-mâché, people are blindfolded and they try and hit it until something falls out. I don't recall ever seeing a piñata at any indoors party which is why I thought it would be cool to mention for this particular article.
Instead of putting candy inside of a piñata, why not put some sex-themed goodies in it instead? Flavored condoms. Small tubes of lube. Adult dice or sex tokens. Dark chocolate (since it is an aphrodisiac). Edible panties. Anything that is sex-focused that can fit into a piñata and won't hurt once it falls out. Go into your backyard, hang the piñata up, have you and your partner blindfold each other, take turns taking a whack at it and have some sort of sex-related "prize" for the one who is able to break it open.
Now tell me that's not creative and festive AF. Places like Party City, Michael's and the Oriental Trading Company typically carry them.
6. Make Your Own Lemonade Lubricant
Speaking of lubricants, the best thing about them is they make things wetter, right? And since we're talking about spring- and summer-themed sex, is there anything more refreshing that a tall glass of homemade lemonade? Why not merge the two things together by making your own lemonade-flavored lubricant? All you need to do is combine one-fourth cup of aloe vera gel with one-fourth cup of flaxseed gel. Then add 3-5 drops of natural lemon flavoring (which is the oil of the lemon not the juice) and BAM—a natural lubricant! While it's more for external use (oral sex) than intercourse, it can still be a real treat. Try it and report back.
7. Adjust the Lights
When it comes to setting up the overall atmosphere of your bedroom, overhead lighting is too harsh and complete darkness can sometimes impede the ambiance of it all. In walks, colored light bulbs. In honor of all things spring and summer, go with green or blue ones. As far as green goes, it represents nature, freshness, prosperity, fertility and harmony (I've always liked that there is a Scripture in the Bible that simply says "our bed is green"—Song of Solomon 1:16). Plus, did you know that green light helps to reduce migraine discomfort in some people? As far as blue goes, it's the color of water—and calm, serenity, inspiration, peace and trust. Y'all, when two naked bodies are moving around in dim green or blue lighting in the middle of the night? There is something about it that visually takes sexual arousal up a couple of notches—and then some.
8. Incorporate Citrus Scents
Smell is one of our five senses (the others are sight, taste, touch and sound). Whether you decide to go with an oil diffuser, a soy candle, a spray for your bedding or even a plug-in, consider using some citrus scents in your bedroom. Orange and lemon scents are signature spring and summer ones. They're also great because they improve your mood, give you more energy and relieve anxiety. Try 'em.
9. Try Some Strawberry-Flavored Deep Throat Numbing Spray
Speaking of oral sex, if something that you want to get better at is performing fellatio, have you ever heard of throat numbing spray? If you happen to have a sensitive gag reflex, spraying this on your throat can make being a "giver" easier. Although the brand GoodHead™ Deep Throat Spray comes in a few different flavors, since strawberries are a fruit that are at their peak around mid-May, why not go with that one? If you want to give it a shot, you can purchase a bottle of the spray (for under $14; the reviews are pretty good too) here.
10. Incorporate Some Wine Ice Cubes
Because red wine increases blood circulation, including to the genital region, it has long had the reputation of being an aphrodisiac. That said, the lead GIF for this? It comes from the movie Do the Right Thing when Mookie and Tina were enjoying some summer foreplay of their own.
Anyway, drastically changing the temperatures on your body from hot to cold can definitely heighten sexual arousal. So, rather than going with some regular ole' ice cubes, pour some red wine into your ice trays. Then, once they're frozen, rub them all over each other. It will feel and taste amazing. It will help to put you into the mood too.
If you're not a wine fan, another approach is to make some fruit cubes. All you're literally doing is putting tiny pieces of fruit and fruit juice or water into the ice trays instead of just water alone. Pineapple is great because it contains the enzyme bromelain which can naturally increase testosterone levels. Cucumbers work because the Vitamin C in them can improve bodily blood flow. Apples are another good idea because the polyphenols and antioxidants in them also increase blood circulation. Plus, fruit cubes taste really good.
11. Put Popsicles (or Frozen Berries) into Your Sex-Themed Cocktails
Back to Mookie. Something that he did to Tina while rubbing ice cubes all over her body was tell her the different things that he found to be sexy about her. If you're not someone who is stellar at dirty talk, a way to ease into it is to follow Mookie's lead. A less self-conscious approach would be to toast your partner (something that I'm naturally big on anyway). How?
Last summer, I wrote an article for the platform that featured summer-themed cocktails that can help to stir things up (check out "8 Summer-Themed Alcoholic Drinks That Can Boost Your Libido"). Put a couple of popsicles or a handful of frozen raspberries or blueberries into your glass. With each lick of the popsicle or each berry that you put into each other's mouths, take turns talking about what turns you on about each other. The words of affirmation combined with the licking visuals and the buzz of the alcohol can turn things into quite a special night.
12. Snack on Some Slices of Watermelon
Here's a food-related point that never gets old. Another fruit that is best eaten during the summertime (July thru August) is watermelon. And whew boy, if there's one fruit that has one of the best reputations around for being an aphrodisiac, this would be it. So much, in fact, that it has earned the nickname "natural Viagra". Watermelon is a sexy fruit because it contains a great amount of the amino acid citrulline. When it's consumed, it has a tendency to dilate blood vessels which is awesome when it comes to men who want to maintain their erection. As a bonus, since watermelon is 92 percent water, it's a natural way to keep you lubricated. And that's always a good thing.
13. Cop Some Waterproof Sex Toys
If you're always down for a good sex toy and you do plan on spending some time in the water this spring and summer seasons, do you have any waterproof sex toys that are currently in your possession? Whether it's a clitoral massager, a finger vibrator or a pocket-sized oral sex stimulator, when your toy can go into water, the sky really is the limit when it comes to your sex options—and locations.
14. Have Sex Outside
If you are a little daring and you're down for having sex outside, think outside of the box a little bit. Wait until dark and have sex in your car (make sure to bring along some of those ice cubes). Stand behind a tree and do it in the standing doggy or—if you're super limber—wheelbarrow position. Drive to a dead-end road and get on the hood of your vehicle. Go to an amusement park, request a private cab on a Ferris wheel and have at it. Go hiking and get off of the path (if you know what I mean). These are just a few suggestions that can help to get your imagination going.
15. Don’t Forget About National Orgasm Day
How much do I support folks having as many orgasms as possible? For now, I'll just share seven articles on the topic that I've written for the site:
- "10 Hacks To Help You Climax More Consistently"
- "10 Things You Didn't Know About The Male And Female Orgasm"
- "How To Have Mind-Blowing Multiple Orgasms. Tonight, Chile."
- "What Is A Super Orgasm & How Can I Have One?"
- "10 Weird & Random Things That Can Prevent An Orgasm"
- "How About Having A 'Mindful Orgasm' Tonight?"
- "U-Spot Orgasm, Fantasy Orgasm & 6 Other Orgasms You Should Try Tonight"
Orgasms are about experiencing an ultimate high with your partner and that is something that most of us never grow tired of. Well, in honor of all things orgasmic-related, did you know that July 31 is officially National Orgasm Day? Yep, there's an entire day, in the summer, that's totally devoted to you getting your freak on, as much as you want to. Back when I found that out, it had me so hype that I wrote about that as well (check out "Whew, Chile. It's National Orgasm Day!"). You've still got some time to get ready for that day like it's your birthday or Christmas or something. Make sure that you did and watch this be one of the HOTTEST spring and summer seasons for you yet!
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Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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7 Black Men On TikTok Making Everyday Living Look ThirstTrappy
You know how many of us, ladies, keep wondering why men don’t have the same sexy, handsome looks of yesteryear? That look from the ‘60s to the ‘90s? I FOUND THEM. And guess what? They’re doing what “real” men do best…simply making themselves handy (and not just in the traditional, gendered sense of the word). These fellas make it easy to fantasize about the reality that there are still good men out there – men who come into the lives of women and make it easier and softer by contributing every day but meaningful ways.
No, I don’t know them in real life because I found them via TikTok, but that’s the fun of fantasizing. You get to take one piece of the pie and make up the rest of it as you go alone. It’s like a game of MASH–choose your fighter and then go from there.
When I was watching their videos, I was totally unaware that my libido had been laying so low OR how attractive a useful man was until I tuned in to these guys (it started with Cam, and you’ll see why shortly). And I don’t mean to make it sound like men are only as good as what they can do for you, but I think it’s safe to say that far too many men are weaponizing their incompetence and enjoy being cared for but aren’t as quick to pour back into the women keeping their day-to-day afloat. Not even in minimal ways.
That said, these men seem to be a breath of fresh air on a sunshiny day. And, allow me to be wholesome and candid for a minute but they made me optimistic that there is hope for us after all. That we can find husbands and fathers who allow us to exist in this world with less harm and hope.
And, on a less wholesome note… never mind. I choose to keep it cute, but you’ll soon know exactly why this feels like a helluva task in just a moment. The other refreshing thing about many of these videos is the ASMR vibes – very cathartic to watch; really brings a sense of peace and calm over you. And, not to gas it, but if watching a man in action in that way via TikTok does that, JUST imagine what having the real thing would be like. My God.
Here are seven Black men on TikTok making everyday living look thirstrappy AF.
Cam
@renaissancecam subsist ⚙️ #vlog #dailyvlog #sundayvlog #peace #adayinthelife #gardening #handyman #rotties #bbq #pitmaster #juicing #health #healthy #fruit #fyp #explore #foryou #viral #menshealth #farming #country #outdoors #dogs #landscaping #food #vibes
Not only does Cam (28 and single) understand the assignment when it comes to carefully selecting Sunday’s cleaning playlist but he also was handcrafted by God himself, giving us #TradMan in only the best ways possible. Based on my lurking/Inspector Gadget deep dive through his content, he chops wood, gardens, fishes, and cooks–it’s no mistake that his handle is Renaissance Cam. And, ladies, I was able to get a few other little details about him because we all know curiosity kills the cat. No need to stay curious when we can just know. Yes, he’s single. He’s a Leo. And his ideal first date is a picnic at his favorite sunset island near one of the spots where he likes to fish.
Derwynn
@lifeofdwho Look how dirty my washing machine was 🤢🤮 . . #sundayreset #sundayroutine #cleaninghacks #cleaningmotivation #homefragrance #fyp #explorepage
Next up is Derwynn, who is more of a modern man. His content centers on his Sunday resets which entail deep cleaning his home–and, if you know, you know–Black household law is that this type of cleaning must occur on Sundays. And, man, ol’ man, does he make cleaning look good. It’s no wonder more men don’t do this willingly. Most have speculated that he’s a Virgo, but he’s actually a Cancer (but maybe he has other Virgo placements throughout?)
Deon
@chakmahtheking Brcome someone you woukd be proud of‼️ Don’t settle, you’re a KING! Follw me on IG @chakmahtheking #fyp #diy #motivation #jackofalltrades #king
Mister DIY himself, in living color! Admittedly, I did have to mute that Rocky music, but all the fix-it action 100 percent makes up for that. I don’t know him, but it’s giving “my man, my man, my man” type of delusion the minute I saw him handle that power tool (like my little pun). Unlike the first two, Deon isn’t quite as subtle in his understanding that he is indeed a prize (not to be confused with thee prize, y’all). But, he is, in fact, a man that adds value in many ways. And, this is what we mean when we say bring back these men – the good with their hands, easy on the eyes type men – and we’ll bust out the apron and the table settings.
Oklahoma Cowboys
@oklahomacowboys0 🤠 #oklahomacowboys #rodeo #blackcowboys #fyp #explorepage #cowboy #blacktiktok #fypシ #losangeles #countryboy #billpickettrodeo #race
When Destiny’s Child said, “they always be talkin’ that country slang,” I imagine these are the type of men they had in mind. Cause the video alone gone bring out my Southern ancestors in my spirit, and I was born and raised in Michigan. Babbbby, this is a retro type of man, and I’m here for it. It’s also a personal belief of mine that it speaks volumes about a man’s ability to nurture in the way that they care for animals and, in turn, the way animals respond to them. What’s that they say about animals and children being the best judges of character? Unfortunately, we don’t have a name for this cowboy, but fortunately, this page is action-packed with other cowboys.
John Doe
@atvmvp #honda #hondaaccord #carsoftiktok #cars #bodywork #painting #spraypaint #restoration #accidentrepair #southcarolina #blackmen #cartok #cartiktok #7thgenaccord #blackentrepreneur #blackdudes #budgetfriendly #voiceover #countryboy
While it’s always safest to have a bald-headed daddy to handle all your car issues, it definitely doesn’t hurt to have a car-fixing zaddy on call, too. Well, here you go! Out in the garage, in the hoop shorts and the slides – now him coming inside smelling like outside, car parts, and fading cologne. We also stan a frugal, problem-solving king! Peep how he purchased a used car and a five-dollar can of spray paint and got to work. The definition of getting it out the mud, if you ask me.
Stephen
@styleunrivaled #fyp #trending #viral #atx #car #ignitioncoil
Impressive, I must say. This gentleman, Stephen, walks us through replacing his ignition coils, but he also makes himself useful in other ways. That’s word to his other TikTok, where he offers the young fellas who want to argue about why women aren’t submissive instead of giving them something worth submitting to advice.
Lee
@leeshomeimprovement Deck for the chicken coop #fyp #foryou #dmv #blacktiktok #watchthis #explore #HousestoHomes #HomeImprovement #BuildingstoCompanies #blackmenbuilds #building #constructing #StayFocused #menwithdreads #follow #share #baltimore #HGTV
While this video doesn’t quite show Lee’s face, it does show his craftsmanship. I mean, it looks secure enough–I don’t know too much about building decks, but I do know this looks about right.. As for the rest, I scoped out the facecard on his other videos, and he is worthy of this list.
These men were difficult to come by, and I’m not sure if it has to do with the ratio of podcast mics to rakes/power drills/etc. Or because they’re simply not documenting themselves. But you should know that we’re looking for some more of these men folk to lust after while they check off the one honey-do list item within their reach through the internet … the one with my Rosé. Send more over! Tag them. I might even start a Make Men Great Again campaign on behalf of these brothas.
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Feature image by @renaissancecam/ Instagram, @steviie_j/ Instagram, @derwynnwho/ Instagram