I have to admit, by the time Get Out was released in theatres, I had already done so much reading about it, that not much about the movie surprised me. As clever, interesting, and necessary as Jordan Peele's first film was, I was somewhat underwhelmed, and I'd like to think that was because the internet had practically revealed the entire storyline before I could even see the film. With this knowledge in mind, I made it a point to see Us in theaters opening weekend so that I develop my own opinion before the masses had the opportunity to thwart my perspective. In conclusion, that opinion is: give Lupita all the awards, damn it!
It was recently announced that Jordan's new film did more than $70 million in the box office, making history as the largest debut of an original horror film in theaters...ever. The record-breaking film is yet another reminder to Hollywood that it's time to start putting some respeck on black narratives. Lupita and her co-stars offered a brilliant performance that will make you realize that most times, you really and truly are your own worst enemy.
What I could appreciate the most about Us was the relatability of The Wilson Family. The main character, Adelaide (played by Lupita Nyong'o), offers a new genre of superhero that we've never seen in film before: a mom desperate to protect her family.
I won't spoil it for you, but you can definitely look forward to a few corny dad jokes, bickering siblings, and some teenage attitude, which are all pretty typical of any family. Although the Wilsons are a quintessential "American" family, there were few nods to the culture in the film that were downright black AF. From Adelaide's husband, Gabe (played by Winston Duke) rocking a Howard sweatshirt, to the ultimate fight scene happening to the tune of an orchestrated version of "I Got 5 On It," Jordan Peele made sure to sprinkle a whole lot of melanin magic into the mix of this creepy horror-themed thriller.
Although I searched (and I mean searched) the film for any metaphors that symbolized racial disparity or injustice, Us tells a much different story. Unlike Get Out, Jordan's new film looks at societal privilege in a different light and has a message that makes us all reflect on our perspective as Americans.
Although I've seen mixed reviews on social media since the movie was released, I can personally say that the film is definitely a bop as well as a major win for the culture. Although, I will say, when the movie ended I couldn't help but think, "WTF just happened?" So I took to the internet to help understand some of the film's key messages that I may have missed, and boy, were there a lot.
For those of us who have seen it, and even for the ones who haven't but want to know what the hype is all about at the risk of peeping a few spoilers, these were a few of my takeaways.
*Disclaimer: Major spoilers ahead!*
Duality & Jeremiah 11:11
Universal
The idea of duality is a consistent theme throughout the film. Along with the creepy white man at the beginning and the end of the film, the numbers can also be seen on top of the ambulance in the closing scene, and it is also 11:11 P.M. when the Wilsons are attacked in their home by the tethered. The scripture, Jeremiah 11:11, which is seen many times in the film says this:
"Therefore thus saith the Lord, Behold, I will bring evil upon them, which they shall not be able to escape; and though they shall cry unto me, I will not hearken unto them."
In Jeremiah, it is prophesized that sinners who worshipped false idols would be faced with inevitable doom, or "evil" and this can be perceived a few different ways. While some say that Red believes that this scripture is a word from God to lead the Tethered from doom, others have different theories.
Jordan Looked To The King Of Pop For Inspiration
Universal
The "real" Adelaide was kidnapped and sentenced to life underground by her ominous double in the '80s, a time when Michael Jackson was wildly popular. Jordan, who called Michael the "king of duality", drew from the late superstar for a much of his inspiration for the film. For example, the "Thriller" t-shirt Adelaide wears at the beginning of the movie shows Micheal's influence on the young girl before she was kidnapped. Red uses his style to design the Tethered's eerie uniforms, complete with a one-hand glove and red jumpsuits, much like MJ's attire in "Thriller". Peele told Mashable:
"Michael Jackson is probably the patron saint of duality. The movie starts in the '80s — the duality with which I experienced him [Jackson] in that time was both as the guy that presented this outward positivity, but also the 'Thriller' video which scared me to death."
Hands Across America
Universal
As a true 90's baby, I had no earthly idea what Hands Across America was. After doing some research, although the event was mildly unsuccessful, the '80s nonprofit fundraising effort was dedicated to raising money for the homeless. When Red is left underground with the Tethered, she is left with her Hands Across America shirt, which ultimately inspires masterful her plan.
But, Who Was The Real Villian Tho?
Universal
I loved this movie because it made me question myself. The lead character, which I had been rooting for the entire time, was actually the villain. Now ain't that some sh*t? Us is a film that makes you analyze your own perspective and be honest about your findings. When you take a hard look at how the story played out, Red was never the bad guy after all. As major of a mindf*ck as this is, if we started to approach our real lives with this mentality, the world just might be a better place.
Jordan Peele and his cast of badasses told a story that in a way is bigger than racism or sexism. He told an all-American story about the perils of classism, and that may be a harder concept to grasp than anything else.
This film helps us realize that many people we may classify as other, like the homeless, impoverished, and socially unacceptable are really exactly like Us.
Featured image by Universal.
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Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
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Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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