In xoNecole's Finding Balance, we profile boss women making boss moves in the world and in their respective industries. We talk to them about their business, their life, and most of all, what they do to find balance in their busy lives.
If I could sum 2020 up in one sentiment, it would be: 'life comes at you fast.' This year has been hitting hard and heavy on all fronts it seems and I know I'm not the only one who could use a reprieve from its rampage. (Really a cancellation, because Miss Rona has BEEN worn her welcome.)
And yet, despite its best (read: worst) efforts, many of us have continued to survive and even thrive during this chaotic time. Some of us have started businesses, met and succeeded goals, started a new life in a new city, and everything in between. Some of us have learned how to bottle all this chaotic energy and use it as fuel to power forward. And though it's always important to find a way to keep evolving no matter the circumstance, it's equally as important to know when to ease up and take your foot off the gas in the name of self-preservation. And that's a lesson dermatologist and Girl+Hair co-founder, Dr. Camille Verovic knows from both personal and professional experience. "You have to hit pause at some point––if you don't, your body and spirit will hit pause for you."
After doing the "big chop", Verovic found herself dismayed after noticing how hard it was to maintain and retain hair growth while wearing protective styles. And if she was frustrated, she knew many other women probably were too. Thus, Girl+Hair was born. Coupled with both her medical knowledge and personal quest for optimal hair health, the company is the first of its kind to offer a complete 'under-hair care' system designed to promote and protect natural hair.
For this installment of "Finding Balance", xoNecole got the chance to chat with Dr. Camille Verovic about all things self-care, here's what she had to say.
Courtesy of Derrick Davis
xoNecole: At what point in your life did you understand the importance of pressing pause and finding balance in both your personal and professional life?
Dr. Camille Verovic: I learned this very early––my mother passed away when I was 23. When I was cleaning our family home, I found her journal––she worked so hard but she had a lot of regrets. If you are a hard worker, you can really work yourself into the ground. It is important to you and everyone around you to try your best to find a good balance in your life.
What is a typical day in your life? If no day is quite the same, give me a rundown of a typical work week and what that might consist of.
5:15am, I wake up. It's a family affair to get our six-year-old ready for school. From 6am to 9am, it's emails and morning meetings with hubby. Between 10am to 1 pm, I'm sorting out manufacturing and logistics. And most afternoons and evenings, I have meetings. Days when I'm in the office as a practicing dermatologist, I'm in the office by 10am. When I am not in the office, I'm working on Girl+Hair. I typically work 2-3 days a week as a practicing dermatologist and 3-4 days a week on Girl+Hair.
What are your mornings like?
The mornings are all about getting my family ready for the day. We are actually a well-oiled machine in the morning.
How do you wind down at night?
There is never a true wind down when your spouse is your business partner (this isn't good, ladies). When I do get a moment to myself, I open my Bible app and try to work on a reading plan.
Courtesy of Derrick Davis
When you have a busy week, what’s the most hectic part of it?
Meetings, meetings, meetings! In my case, the busiest weeks are when I have a ton of meetings. I have to take care of my out of office duties as a physician––follow up on biopsies, coordinate care with my office manager, call patients, speak with pharmaceutical reps.
How do you find balance with:
Friends?
I keep the circle small and I try to call when I am commuting.
Love/Relationships?
You can't be happy with someone else if you are not happy with yourself. To find balance in any relationship, you must first find balance in your own life.
Exercise?
I am terrible at this but I just bought a bike so hopefully, I will be better.
What about health? Do you cook or find yourself eating out?
We cook 75 percent of our meals. Cooking is great because it makes you slow down.
Courtesy of Derrick Davis
When you are going through a bout of uncertainty, or feeling stuck, how do you handle it?
This sounds really old-fashioned, but I lean on the Word [of God].
And honestly, what does success mean to you? What does happiness mean to you?
Success and happiness to me is one day looking back at my life and knowing that I gave almost every day the best that I could. One of my life goals is to be a philanthropist. I don't think there are enough Black philanthropists.
To keep up with Dr. Camille, follow her on Instagram.
Are you a member of our insiders squad? Join us in the xoTribe Members Community today!
Featured image courtesy of Derrick Davis.
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When I asked a few women I know if they ever tried that before, I was surprised to discover that not only had they, but many didn’t treat it as some random social media fad — they actually still do it to this day. Partly, because it’s fun to them and partly because their partner(s) seem to go crazy for it.
Listen, any time something sexual works like a charm, I’m going to shout it out — (late) trend or not. And so, if you’ve never heard of the whole coconut thing, you tried it and forgot all about it, or you just want to try something new/different/else tonight — here’s a reminder, in article form, that coconut-ting is still alive and well, y’all. And the men are all about it!
But First, The Grapefruit Technique
Video Credit: Myem/YouTube (Funny part starts at 2:40)
If this woman is not familiar to you on sight, you ain’t a real one. LOL. Although I know that a lot of people think that the concept of grapefruiting came from the movie Girls Trip (you can see the clip from the film here) that absolutely is not the case. Auntie Angel (whose real name is reportedly Denise Walker) is the creator of the Grapefruit Technique and although I thought that this video came out way earlier, apparently it made its way onto the YouTube streets sometime back in 2014.
If for some reason, you’re not familiar with grapefruiting on any level, I will tell you right now that I had to download this video because it is absolutely NSFW — so you should probably watch it on your lunch break (on your phone with the volume as low as possible) or at home…because chile, the sound effects? Whew, the sound effects. LOL. However, when I sat down to pen this piece, I thought it was hilarious that this video is what immediately came to mind because it seems like, when it comes to “blow his mind sex hacks,” fruit is constantly on the menu.
When it comes to oral sex, it’s grapefruit.
When it comes to ride ‘em cowgirl, it’s a coconut.
What Is the “Coconut” Sex Trend?
@windy_moraba #duet with @mysteri0us.gir1 spell coconut with your waist 😂😂😂
Okay, so what in the world does a coconut have to do with intercourse? Well, for starters, if you and your partner are looking for an all-natural lubricant, coconut oil works well. HOWEVER, do keep in mind that the disclaimer on this is you shouldn’t use it if condoms are in the mix because they can actually cause rubbers to be less effective (silicone lube is a solid bet for condoms, by the way).
There is another way that coconuts are kinda-sorta incorporated when it comes to making sex more pleasurable — and it actually became pretty popular right after COVID lockdown (2021): spelling C-O-C-O-N-U-T with your hips while you’re on top of your partner.
It’s wild how I forgot all about this until a client of mine was telling me how much her husband liked her on top while it wasn’t her favorite thing to do because it felt awkward to her. When I said, “Have you ever heard of spelling ‘coconut’ with your hips before?” — at first, she looked at me like I was crazy and then she busted out laughing: “Girl, no” was her reply.
Hmph. Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it because, as wild as it might sound on the surface, the word isn’t the point so much as the movements that come with spelling it out are.
When you’re moving your pelvis around to make a “c,” “o” or U-turn, not only does it intensify the level of sensation that both you and your partner feel during intercourse, it can also increase the level of blood circulation to both of your genitalia which can make your orgasms more satisfying too.
At the end of the day, spelling “coconut” is simply reminding you that there are more options to riding than simply sitting there while your partner pumps for all he’s worth or you humping up and down like you’re on a pogo stick.
Spelling “coconut” is an easy hack to bring some variety into cowgirling. However…
Honestly, the “Fruit” Isn’t the Point. THIS IS.
GiphyFrom grapefruiting and spelling “coconut” to reading articles that I’ve penned for the platform like “How To Improve The Taste Of Sperm” — fruit and sex are always going to be a winning combination, one way or another. However, the main point of this article isn’t about making sure that you are a master speller so much as providing you with tips that will make the cowgirl position something that you are confident about and you find a ton of fulfillment in doing.
You can make both of these things happen by incorporating the following things:
Stretch beforehand. A charley horse during sex is the worst thing ever — and chile, don’t let it be right before you’re about to climax. SMDH. Yeah, if you want to feel more comfortable when you’re on top, make sure that you stretch beforehand and that you are well-hydrated. That will reduce the chances of experiencing a totally-out-of-nowhere muscle spasm — whether you decide to “spell” during sex or…not.
Bring pillows into the mix. Sometimes riding is a challenge because your partner feels farther away from your body than you would like. Putting a pillow underneath him can help to elevate his pelvis, so that you don’t feel like you’re stretching and straining. Speaking of pillows, a longer one can really come in handy because it can give your knees some additional support as well.
Also, ask him to put his knees up. Speaking of making the “grind” easier for you, ask your partner to put his knees up. That way, your back can recline on his legs as you’re moving your hips around. You’d be amazed how much this one hack can do for you. Straight up.
Add lube. When you get a chance, check out “The Wetter, The Better: 10 Creative Ways To Use Lubricant” and you will automatically see why bringing lubrication into a cowgirl session is an absolute must. It reduces friction. It makes your movements glide with ease. And it’s just more fun. Promise you that.
Lean in. If your partner happens to be on the larger side of life, one way that you can control his depth is by leaning forward into him. That way, your hips can better control how much or little he is inside of you, so that you can get into a position that gives you the sensation that you are looking for.
Get him to multitask. Again, whether you are spelling “coconut” or not and whether you are riding cowgirl or reverse cowgirl — something that is awesome about being on top is it frees your partner’s hands to do, umm, other things. And since it is so much easier to have an orgasm while your clitoris is being stimulated, get your partner to put some of the lube that we discussed earlier on his fingertips, so that he can gently rub on your clitoris while you are riding him. It doesn’t get much better than that!
Don’t wanna spell? Hula Hoop then. What if you try the whole coconut thing and it’s not a favorite for you (or him)? No problem — when’s the last time that you hula hooped? Pretend that you have one of those around your hips and move around that way. I’d be shocked if you ended up feeling “meh” about that option.
5 Guys Tell Me What They Love When Their Partner Is on Top
GiphyA part of the reason why I am “team cowgirl” is because it provides a lot of benefits to the woman: she has more control, it tends to be more comfortable for her, it’s a great position for a quickie and the orgasms tend to be that much more — wonderful. However, as I was thinking about spelling coconut, in general, I couldn’t help but wonder what guys thought about it and the cowgirl position overall.
If you’re curious, here’s what five of ‘em said.
1. Braxford. Engaged. 35. “Y’all be spelling up there? Who knew? My favorite thing about when my fiancée is on top is what I think every man likes: the view. It’s a chance to see her entire body and experience it at the same time. Not even doggy style accomplishes that. Damn, where’s my lady at?”
2. Denez. Single. 42. “Do you know how many ‘spots’ you have access to when y’all are on top? Breasts are in my mouth. Hickeys are on her neck. Prop my head up on a pillow and her tummy is getting licked. When a woman is riding you, it’s sensory overload! It’s crazy how each one looks amazing in that position too.”
3. Omar. In a Serious Relationship. 29. “[He said her name yet I’m not going to share it] isn’t a very vocal lover. Her body and technique are insane, so even though I love dirty talk, I’ve learned to compromise — except when she’s on top. She’s not saying much but those moans? And yeah, we tried the coconut thing. ‘Cs’ and ‘Os,’ hell yeah. ‘Ns’ and “Ts’? Nah.”
4. Nolen. Single. 45. “45 isn’t old but it’s old enough for your back to show out on you when you least expect it. My experience has been that women don’t want a lot of thrusting when they are on top, so it’s like having some of the best sex without having to do much at all. Well, aside from trying not to bust too quickly. I take that back: riding is easy on the body; it’s work on the brain.”
5. Ivan. Married. 37. “I like the spelling sh-t because it switches things up. We make a game out of it by her picking a word and spelling out while I try and guess what it is. We also try to see how many words that we can get to before one of us cums. 12 words is pushing it unless it’s like ‘dog’ or ‘cat’ or something. I’ve guessed ‘coconut’ a few times and I get what the excitement is all about. Spelling bee sex: try it.”
Yep. I concur.
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Featured image by Giphy