

What good modern-day love story doesn't begin with a slide in the DMs? In the 99's and 2000's, online dating may have been reserved for thrill-seekers and hopeless romantics, but now, dating apps like Tinder and Bumble have made your local dating pool much more accessible to people from all walks of life.
We've come a long way from the days of eharmony and Black Planet, and recently one social media giant stepped into the romance industry and promises to make finding love easier than ever.
Facebook
Last year, Tinder had an estimated 3.8 million users worldwide, which indicates that people from all walks of life are looking for love, but have we been swiping in the wrong places? While in the past, we may have been limited to carefully curated profile images and brief bios that are vastly ineffective in giving us the deets on potential suitors, Facebook's new dating feature wants to change that.
For women who, like me, are tired of pulling up at Applebee's hoping the man you met online isn't a catfishing serial killer who came to kidnap you and harvest your organs, Facebook Dating claims to be the answer to your romantic needs in a more personal way. The social media platform's new dating service, which was announced last year, has already been released in Argentina, Canada, Chile, Mexico, Singapore, Thailand, Vietnam, and as of last Thursday, the United States.
While there is no "swipe left, or right" option, people who use apps like Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge will find some similarities that will make Facebook Dating much easier to navigate, but there are a few key differences that differentiate the app from others on the market.
Facebook Dating, unlike other apps, gives users the opportunity to match with other singles based on location, but Facebook activity, like interests, events, and groups and offers a "Secret Crush" feature where you can select up to nine Facebook friends who you have a crush on without them knowing. The service acts as an app within an app that can be accessed in the tabs in your menu bar and has a number of safety features that will protect your privacy at all costs.
Although looking for romance online may be intimidating, Facebook's new feature may be your chance to dip your toe in the digital dating pool. Computer love isn't for everyone, but a lot of people who say that just aren't doing it right. It's reported that today, almost one-third of marrying couples met online, proving that your soulmate may just be swipe away. I can say without shame that pretty much every date I've been on in the past two years has been a result of online dating.
Some were good and most were bad, but there were a number of tips I picked up along the way. While Facebook Dating hasn't launched in every state just yet, I have a few tips and tricks to get you prepared. As a certified single and dedicated swiper, I've compiled a list of digital dating tips that you'll want to carry with you on this new and exciting journey:
Connect On Social Media
This tip will become less and less necessary thanks to Facebook Dating, but nevertheless, it's never a bad idea to get to know someone before you link up, and what better way to do that than lurking on their social media profiles? In my opinion, a person's social media presence can tell you things about them that they won't always verbalize.
Pro-Tip: Don't be weird about it. Be forthcoming about your lurking and allow him that same courtesy. Try to avoid jumping to conclusions before consulting with him about your findings.
Set Deal Breakers
One of the most horrible bosses I've ever had was also one of the wisest business women I've ever met. She told me to "set my non-negotiables", and this advice has proved to be more than effective in my romantic life. "Nah" is a whole sentence and that also has to be your mentality when choosing a potential suitor. Choosing 3-5 non-negotiable deal-breakers is an amazing way to narrow down your matches when seeking Mr. Right (or Mr. Right For Now).
Slow Down, Sis
I know your biological clock is ticking and you don't have time to waste, but when it comes to online dating, rushing things is a surefire way to create a toxic environment in your newfound relationship. Before you consider meeting up with a match, Facetime, talk on the phone, ask a few hard questions, because there's nothing worse than spending an hour alone with someone you have nothing in common with but mutual physical attraction.
Featured image by Giphy.
- Facebook dating service: How it works ›
- Facebook Dating has launched in the United States - The Verge ›
- Facebook Dating will come to the U.S. in 2019 ›
- Facebook Dating's “Secret Crush” feature will probably be chaos - Vox ›
- Facebook Dating opens to friends with Secret Crush | TechCrunch ›
- It's Facebook Official, Dating Is Here | Facebook Newsroom ›
- Facebook Dating Is Rolling Out. Here's How It Differs From Tinder ... ›
'Sistas' Star Skyh Black On The Power Of Hypnotherapy & Emotional Vulnerability For Men
In this insightful episode of the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker talked with Sistas star Skyh Black, as he opened up about his journey of emotional growth, resilience, and self-discovery. The episode touches on emotional availability, self-worth, masculinity, and the importance of therapy in overcoming personal struggles.
Skyh Black on Emotional Availability & Love
On Emotional Availability & Vulnerability
“My wife and I wouldn't be where we are today if both of us weren't emotionally available,” he shared about his wife and Sistas co-star KJ Smith, highlighting the value of vulnerability and emotional openness in a relationship. His approach to masculinity stands in contrast to the traditional, stoic ideals. Skyh is not afraid to embrace softness as part of his emotional expression.
On Overcoming Self-Doubt & Worthiness Issues
Skyh reflected on the self-doubt and worthiness issues that he struggled with, especially early in his career. He opens up about his time in Los Angeles, living what he calls the “LA struggle story”—in a one-bedroom with three roommates—and being homeless three times over the span of 16 years. “I always had this self-sabotaging thought process,” Skyh said. “For me, I feel therapy is essential, period. I have a regular therapist and I go to a hypnotherapist.”
How Therapy Helped Him Heal From Self-Doubt
On Hypnotherapy & Empowering Self-Acceptance
Skyh’s journey is a testament to the power of tapping into self-development despite life’s struggles and being open to growth. “I had to submit to the fact that God was doing good in my life, and that I'm worthy of it. I had a worthiness issue and I did not realize that. So, that’s what the hypnotherapy did. It brought me back to the core. What is wrong so that I can fix it?”
Watch the full podcast episode below:
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by
Quinta Brunson Gets Real About Divorce, Boundaries & Becoming
Quinta Brunson is the woman who chooses herself, even when the world is watching. And in her June 30 cover story for Bustle, she gives us a rare glimpse into the soft, centered place she's navigating her life from now. From leading one of television's most beloved series in the last decade to quietly moving through life shifts, the creator of Abbott Elementary is walking through a personal evolution and doing so with intention, grace, and a firm grip on her boundaries.
Back in March, the 35-year-old filed for divorce from Kevin Jay Anik after nearly three years of marriage, citing "irreconcilable differences." The news hit the headlines of news outlets fast, but Quinta hadn't planned to announce their dissolution to the public so quickly.
Quinta Brunson On Divorce, Public Scrutiny & Sacred Boundaries
"I remember seeing people be like, ‘She announced her divorce,’" she told Bustle. “I didn’t announce anything. I think people have this idea that people in the public eye want the public to know their every move. None of us do. I promise you. No one wants [everyone] to know when you buy a house, when you move, when a major change happens in your personal life. It’s just that that’s public record information."
In regards to her private moves becoming tabloid fodder, Quinta continued, "I hated that. I hate all of it."
"I Am An Artist First": Quinta On Cutting Her Hair & Reclaiming Herself
Still, the diminutive phenom holds her crown high in the face of change and is returning to the essence of who she is, especially as an artist. "Cutting my hair reminded me that I am an artist first. I want to feel things. I want to make choices. I want to be a person, and not just stuck in having to be a certain way for business." It's giving sacred rebirth. It's giving self-liberation. It's especially giving main character energy.
And while the headlines keep spinning their narratives, the one that Quinta is focused on is her own. For her, slowing down and nourishing herself in ways that feed her is what matters. "It’s a transitional time. I think it’s true for me and my personal life, and it’s how I feel about myself, my career, and the world," Quinta shared with Bustle. “I feel very serious about focusing on watering my own gardens, taking care of myself and the people around me who I actually interact with day-to-day."
That includes indulging in simple rituals that ground her like "making myself a meal" which has become "really, really important to me."
That spirit of agency doesn't stop at the personal. In her professional world, as the creator, executive producer, and lead actress of the critically-acclaimed Abbott Elementary, Quinta understands the weight her choices carry, both on- and off-screen. She revealed to Bustle, "People used to tell me at the beginning of this that the No. 1 on the call sheet sets the tone, and the producer sets the tone — and I’m both of those roles."
She continued, "I understand now, after doing this for four years, how important it was that I set the tone that I did when we first started."
Quinta doesn't just lead, she understands the importance of curating the energy of any space she enters. Even amid a season of shifts and shedding, her power speaks loudly. Sometimes that power looks like quiet resistance. Sometimes that power is soft leadership.
And sometimes that power looks like cutting your hair and taking back your name in rooms that have forgotten you were an artist long before you were a brand.
Read Quinta's cover story on Bustle here to witness the fullness of Quinta's becoming.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Zach Hilty/BFA.com/Shutterstock