While it might not exactly feel like it's officially springtime right now (I recently read that many states are currently experiencing some of the coldest temperatures for this time of year), that doesn't mean that you shouldn't get those feet of yours spring season ready. And while it would be oh so nice to simply set a pedicure appointment at your favorite nail salon, your budget—or shoot, in 2020, the government—may not make that very easy or probable; not for a while anyway.
Good thing there are some ways that you can both prep as well as pamper your feet at home. If you get the right ingredients and set the right atmosphere—light a soy candle, put on some of your favorite music and make sure that you've got a basin that's big enough to put both of your feet in—your feet can still feel luxurious and your toes can still look like they are ready for every open-toe pump and pair of sandals that you've got.
Soak Your Feet in Lavender and Rosewater
Aside from the fact that soaking your feet can feel totally amazing, there are some health benefits that come with doing it too. If the water is super warm (to the point of being almost hot), it can increase blood circulation and reduce inflammation. If you add 10 drops of lavender essential oil to your soak, the oil will relieve anxiety, decrease insomnia and offer up a lingering scent that is soft as well as feminine. Then, if you pour a half cup of rosewater into the water, it will help to maintain the pH balance of your feet's skin, lighten the appearance of any discoloration or scars your feet may have and, nourish and moisturize your feet too. Can't you already feel the instant relief?
Scrub Your Feet with Strawberries and Honey
I can't think of one part of our body that can't benefit from a good old-fashioned DIY scrub. One that personally tops my list is a strawberry and honey foot scrub. Because strawberries are loaded with Vitamin C, they can help your body to produce the collagen that your feet need in order to keep looking young (yes, your feet can age too). Strawberries also have folic acid which helps your feet to produce new skin cells. Something else that strawberries contain is the antioxidant ellagic acid; it protects your skin from damaging UV rays that will only get stronger during the spring season. As far as honey goes, it's a humectant (it pulls moisture from the air), so it helps to keep your skin moisturized. Honey is also a natural antiseptic, an exfoliant, and it even contains properties that help to brighten your complexion. If you're all about giving this particular scrub a shot, click here for some step-by-step instructions.
Baking Soda Removes Dead Skin
Putting three tablespoons of baking soda into a basin of warm water and then letting your feet soak for 20 minutes or so is a wonderful way to remove any dead skin that your feet may have on them. That's because baking soda serves as an alkaline ingredient that naturally exfoliates. Plus, its gritty texture can make your feet smooth too. Just be sure to avoid this tip if you happen to have sensitive skin. Baking soda is pretty powerful and, sometimes it can throw off your skin's pH balance if you've got naturally sensitive skin. Otherwise, you should be all good.
Heal Cracked Heels with Some Mouthwash
If you happen to have any Listerine in your house, did you know that it's a great way to get rid of cracked heels? The reason why is because it contains the ingredient methyl salicylate which actually acts similar to salicylic acid which is found in a lot of anti-aging products.
What both of these things do is they exfoliate the skin; especially really dry skin. As a bonus, Listerine is a disinfectant that is able to treat foot issues like athlete's foot and toenail fungal infections.
Use Carmex for Your Cuticles
If you moisturize your feet on a daily basis, you won't have to rely on cuticle oil much. But if you notice that your nails are dry and cracked, applying some Carmex can help to give your cuticles moisture as well as protect them and your nails from damage. Is there some special ingredient that it contains? Not really. It just happens to be cheaper than a lot of cuticle oil brands; thicker too.
Try Some Mint and Lime
I wouldn't be surprised, in the least if, the last thing that you considered to be a great treatment for your feet is a mint and lime combo. But it is. If you think about the menthol that's in mint, you can probably already imagine just how invigorating it will make your feet feel. Some other good things about mint is it's able to brighten the skin tone of your feet as the properties in mint also lock in moisture. Another cool thing about mint is it's a mild astringent that is able to deeply cleanse your feet too. And, it has anti-inflammatory properties that can help to soothe any bug bites that you might experience as the weather heats up. Lime? Its juice is able to naturally treat dark spots, its citric acid can remove dead skin and also, thanks to its antioxidant, disinfectant and antibiotic properties, lime can also help to protect your feet from infection. Simply mix two cups of Epsom salt with the juice of one lime, five drops of peppermint essential oil and a half-cup of baking soda. Soak your feet for 20 minutes and it will be the ultimate pick-me-up.
If Your Feet Are Extra Dry, Use Apple Cider Vinegar
If you fill a basin with hot water, a half-cup of apple cider vinegar and a few drops of your favorite essential oil, you will have just created a solution to ashiness. Between apple cider vinegar's anti-inflammatory properties and its acetic acid and alpha hydroxy acid, it is a way to soothe swollen feet and exfoliate them while healing dry skin. As a bonus, apple cider vinegar is an effective foot fungus killer. Soaking for about 15-20 minutes so do the trick.
Cypress Oil Will Deodorize Them
One site that I personally dig a lot is Dr. Axe. So, when I first heard about cypress essential oil, I Googled his site, just to see what his thoughts were on it. I was sold. If you like to wear a woodsy/spicy kind of scent, that's basically the best way to describe how the oil smells. As far as how it can benefit you, cypress is an oil that helps to heal wounds and infections, detoxes the body, treats respiratory issues, relieves muscle cramps and softens the appearance of varicose veins and cellulite. Know what else it does? It serves as a natural deodorant; that's because it has the reputation for being a super astringent. Putting a couple of drops on your feet (along with a carrier oil) can nix any odor, plus it can provide a big energy boost as well.
Vodka Will Refresh Your Feet
Between you and me—do your feet stink? If so, pick up some vodka (if you don't already have some).
The reason why vodka works is because it contains a property known as ethanol which is a non-toxic antiseptic that kills odor-causing bacteria. If you really want to knock the funk out, add about 15 drops of tea tree essential oil; it has antibacterial and antifungal properties in it.
Just pour a half cup of vodka, along with the oil into a glass (or plastic if you want to carry the bottle around in your purse) bottle and shake it (so that the vodka and oil blend well together). Then spray your feet whenever you feel the need.
Sleep “in” Some Vicks or Some Aloe Vera Gel
Do you want to take pampering your feet to another level? If so, get yourself some 100 percent pure Aloe vera gel. It has vitamins A, C and E in it. It is loaded with antioxidants. Aloe vera also contains lupeol, which is a property that acts as an antiseptic and analgesic (something that relieves pain). And, it is a great moisturizer and wound healer. Before turning in at night, wash your feet and pat them dry. Apply some coconut, sweet almond or grapeseed oil on your feet. Then, apply a thick layer of Aloe vera (make sure to get in between your toes too), put on some cotton socks and go to bed. The oil will penetrate deeply into your feet as the Aloe vera seals the oil in and protects your feet in the process. You'll wake up to your feet feeling softer than your hands. And you'll absolutely love it!
Ever Wonder How to Cut Your Toenails Properly?
Once your feet are looking and feeling great, it's time to get to your actual toenails. First, it's best to use toenail clippers instead of fingernail clippers. They're bigger and will help you to get a more "clean" cut. Cut each toenail straight across, avoiding curving around the edges; that can lead to ingrown nails, if you're not careful. Speaking of preventing ingrown nails, also don't cut your nails too short. If you want to even your nails out a bit, use a nail file instead.
Also, avoid cutting your toenails immediately after getting out of the tub. Nails have a tendency to bend or tear if you cut them while they are wet or damp. Give them about an hour to dry. Oh, and whatever you do, definitely do not cut your cuticles; that could lead to bleeding or infection. Use cuticle sticks to push them back instead.
You Ready for Some Toe Polish Hacks (That Also Work for Nails Too)?
DIY toe separators. Both of my fourth toes are a little closer to my third than I would like. One way to keep them from running into each other is I use toe separators. If you don't have time to run to a beauty supply store to get some, get a sponge while you're grocery shopping instead. Cut them into rectangular shapes and you'll be good to go.
Dip your toes in cold water. If, while polishing your nails, you are pressed for time, something that you can do to speed up the drying process is to put your nails into cold water first. It will help the polish on your nails to harden faster. Just make sure that the water is ice cold; as cold as you can possibly stand it. That's how you can get the best results.
Use steam to create a matte look. I don't know about you, but absolutely adore matte nails. One way to get that kind of finish is first, to put a dash of cornflower into your polish. Then, paint your nails like normal and to put them in front of some steam. For your nails, you can simply put them over a pot of boiled water. For your toes, try a clothes steamer; that should work.
Try a tea bag to fix a broken nail. Broken nails are the absolute worst. An awesome workaround hack is to empty all of the contents of tea bag out. Then, cut a small piece of the bag, place it where the break is, secure it with nail glue and polish your nails like normal. If that sounds too to be true, this video serves as a cool confirmation. Just keep in mind that this works for natural nails only.
Put a rubber band on your polish. Don't you just hate it when you can't seem to open a bottle of polish, no matter how hard you try? Rather than using the back of your teeth, put a rubber band on the top of the bottle instead. It will—or at least, should—make it so much easier to open.
One of the best things about springtime is it gives us the opportunity to retire our boots and pull out the strappy heels. If you follow these DIY tips, you'll literally be able to put your best foot—well, feet—forward all spring long. Happy springtime, y'all!
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
The 2020 Nail Art Trend That Will Level Up Your Manicure Game
5 Reasons You Should Unapologetically Pamper Yourself
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Feature image by Shutterstock
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RELATED
A big part of the clarity that is coming through this month is due to Neptune going direct in Pisces on December 10, after being retrograde here since July. With Neptune now direct, we are able to see our inspiration and creativity a little more clearly, providing the perfect energy for dreams and manifestation to be built upon. The smoke is clearing, and it’s up to you to decide what you want to do with this newfound clarity that this transit is bringing. Mercury also moves back into Sagittarius on December 11, which is great for communication and clarity, and the adventures you were trying to see through at the beginning of November come around for you again with greater purpose and support.
On December 15, Mars enters Capricorn until the end of January 2026, and this is the extra push we need to make important changes and to be on the path towards greater abundance, stability, and prosperity. Mars in Capricorn takes care of business, and we have extra energy at our disposal during this time to do so. This transit is an ideal time to focus on your career or financial goals for next year and to start putting some of these plans into motion now. A few days later, we have the New Moon of the month, which will be in Sagittarius on December 19, and this is the perfect New Moon to manifest.
The energy is high, magic is in the air, and it’s all about moving forward with the new beginnings that are inspiring you and bringing you joy to think about right now.
Capricorn Season officially begins on December 21, and this earth sign energy is how we heal, gain closure, and build new foundations in our world. With Venus also moving into a Capricorn a few days later, there is something about peace, prosperity, and security that we are gaining in life and in love as we close out the year, and this is what we need right now. This month is about reflecting on what was, letting go of old hurt, and renewing. December is an ending and a new beginning in one, and there is magic in this space to be created.
Read for your sun and rising sign below to see what December 2025 has in store for you.
AriesKyra Jay for xoNecoleARIES
December is a full-circle moment for you, Aries. You are seeing the gifts in your world and have a lot of gratitude for the way things have come about for you as of late. There are culminations in your world that are providing you with more abundance, stability, and community, and you are exactly where you are meant to be this month. With the Sun in a fellow fire sign and in your 9th house of travel for most of the month, December is a good time to get out of your comfort zone, explore the world around you, and get your body moving.
Mars, your ruling planet, also makes a change and moves into Capricorn on December 15, which will fuel your inspiration and power in your career space. You are making a lot of professional progress as we close out the year; however, make sure to be more mindful of your competitive drive right now. The New Moon on December 19 is the perfect opportunity for you to create some new plans and goals when it comes to traveling, education, and where you want to gain some new inspiration in your world. Overall, this is a month of things coming together for you serendipitously.
TaurusKyra Jay for xoNecoleTAURUS
December is about trusting your intuition, Taurus. You have a lot on your mind this month, and it’s best to delegate, communicate, and allow yourself some relief by opening up to someone and not feeling like you have to hold everything in. As we begin the month, we have a Supermoon in Gemini happening in your house of income, and the plans and projects you have been building here come to fruition for you now. This is the time to gain clarity on your financial world and to take a look at what spending habits you want to let go of here as well.
With Venus in your 8th house of shared resources for most of the month, you are doing a cleanse on your commitments, partnerships, and business ventures. You are taking a look at what you want to dedicate yourself to in the future, and what commitments you may need to let go of now in order to be in the space you truly want to be, both financially and within some of your relationship dynamics. Before we end the month, we have a New Moon in this same area of your chart, and it’s time to look at the opportunities that are presenting themselves and to trust your internal guidance system to lead you forward.
GeminiKyra Jay for xoNecoleGEMINI
You are moving forward fearlessly this month, Gemini. December is your month of love, passion, and dignity, and you are owning the light that you shine. We begin the month with the last Supermoon of the year, happening in your sign, and you are stepping up to the plate. You are showing up, owning how much you have grown this year, and allowing yourself to heal while also acknowledging that you have done your best and you deserve to have fun in the midst of the changes you are creating.
Mercury, your ruling planet, is officially out of retrograde, and you can use this energy to the fullest potential now. With Mercury in your 7th house of love, it’s time to speak from the heart and to talk about the things that matter and that are inspiring you right now to your loved ones. You never know what kind of epiphanies you may have when you open up the conversation to others. Before the month ends, you have a New Moon in this same love area of your chart, and this New Moon is all about manifesting romance, commitment, and abundance in your world.
CancerKyra Jay for xoNecoleCANCER
December is an opening for more love, more joy, and more freedom in your life, Cancer. You have come to a place where you hold so much gratitude in your heart for where you are today and where your heart is shining, and things come together for you with more ease right now. With the Sun in your 6th house of health, work, and daily routines for most of the month, you are getting your ducks in a row while also putting more energy and effort into taking care of yourself, your priorities, and your well-being. This month surprises you in many ways, and it’s because you are showing up.
Mars and Venus both move into your house of love, relationships, marriage, and abundance this month, and you are making strides in your love life. You have both of these opposing forces on your side and are being recognized for the love you are while also receiving the love you want. This month, overall, is about focusing more on the positives in your world and letting your heart have its joy. Before December comes to an end, there is a New Moon in Sagittarius, and this is the perfect opportunity to create the plans you want to see through next year, especially when it comes to your work life, colleagues, business ventures, and health.
LeoKyra Jay for xoNecoleLEO
The scales of karma are balancing, and they are balancing in your favor this month, Leo. December is your month of truth, and of seeing it clearly in your world. The Sun is in your house of romance, pleasure, and happiness for most of the month, and it’s time to relax, be in the present moment, and allow what is meant to be, to be. With a Supermoon in your 11th house of manifestation as December begins, this is a powerful month for seeing your dreams come to fruition, and for feeling like the intentions you have set this year are finally here for you now.
Mars also moves into your 6th house mid-month, and this is the perfect energy to have to move into the new year. You have extra energy at your disposal right now and are feeling fearless with what is possible for you and your daily routine. Before the month ends, we also have a New Moon in a fellow fire sign, Sagittarius, and this is a breakthrough moment for you and your heart. December, overall, wants to show you how loved and supported you are and will be doing so in magical, unexpected, and concrete ways.
VirgoKyra Jay for xoNecoleVIRGO
December is a month of victory, Virgo. You are showing up and experiencing some new successes in your world that move you forward on your path in life. With a Supermoon in your 10th house of career as we begin the month, the effort and intentions you have made this year come into full bloom, and you are being recognized for who you are and the good work you have done. This month is all about showing up and allowing yourself to be seen and loved, knowing that you deserve the support and opportunities you are receiving.
Mars moves into Capricorn on December 15, which brings the passion and excitement into your love life, hobbies, and little pleasures in life that light you up. You want to have fun this month and are going to be walking into the new year with this fearless, happy, and spontaneous energy within you. Before the month ends, Venus also enters Capricorn, and in this same area of your chart, you have a lot to look forward to and believe in right now. Overall, December wants you to be happy and will be doing everything possible to make that happen for you. This is your month to shine, Virgo.
LibraKyra Jay for xoNecoleLIBRA
December is a month of opportunity for you, Libra. New doors open, and you are financially making breakthroughs this month because of it. December begins with a Supermoon in your 9th house, and you are getting a clearer view of where you have been making strides in your life and how it has all brought you here to this present moment of freedom. This month is showing you what happens when you are fearless with your purpose and when you believe in yourself and what you are worthy of.
Moving further into December, Mars moves into your 4th house of home and family mid-month, and you are closing out the year in your safe spaces. You are spending more time with your loved ones and taking the time to quiet your mind and listen to what your heart has been telling you. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in Sagittarius, happening in an area of your life that deals with communication. This is a great time for getting the answers you have been looking for and for feeling more clear-headed and confident about the decisions you are making as you move into the new year.
ScorpioKyra Jay for xoNecoleSCORPIO
Patience is a virtue this month, Scorpio. December is all about remaining patient and vigilant with what you are creating in your world, and knowing that the universe has your back. It’s time to be reminded of the power of hope, and this month is an opening to greater clarity in your life. There is a lot of energy in your financial zones right now, and this is providing you with new opportunities and new insight; however, the speed at which things come about for you may feel daunting. Keep your head up and eyes focused on what you want and know that you are more than worthy of receiving it.
With Mercury in your 2nd house of income this month, December is a good time to plant new seeds and to think about where you want to be financially a month from now or even a year. This month is asking you to think bigger and to think more long-term so that you can set the appropriate plans into motion now. We also have a New Moon in your house of income before the month ends, and this is when you will see more of your dreams come to fruition in this area of your life, and have more opportunities to build. Overall, December will be teaching you a lot, Scorpio.
SagittariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleSAGITTARIUS
Sagittarius Season is here, and there is a lot in store for you this month, Sag. December is all about what you are dedicating yourself to. It’s about setting your intentions and putting the work in to back up your dreams, and about getting things in order so that when the new beginnings come, you are ready for them. The Sun and Venus are in your sign for most of this month, and there are a lot of eyes on you right now. You have the potential to create a new beginning for yourself, and it’s time to invest in yourself, your love life, and your dreams.
Mercury moves into Sagittarius on December 11, and this is giving you another opportunity to see through some of the plans that you had initiated in November. Mercury was retrograde in your sign last month, and there may have been some disruptions to your vision and plans for the future, and now this energy is turning around for you. Before the month ends, we also have a New Moon in Sagittarius, and you are walking through new doors fearlessly. You are catching others by surprise by your growth this month, and you are thinking a lot about your purpose, future, and plans for the new year.
CapricornKyra Jay for xoNecoleCAPRICORN
December is all about the vision, Capricorn. You are moving through a lot of changes and transformations this month, yet they are giving you a chance at a new beginning in the process. You are focused more on the future and what goals you want to manifest for yourself right now, and are ready to let go of what hasn’t been working for you. With the Sun in your 12th house of closure for most of December, this is your time for healing, but remember, healing doesn’t have to be isolating or boring; you can thrive while you renew, and you are this month.
Mid-month, the excitement picks up for you, and you are feeling more energized than you have in a while. Mars moves into Capricorn until the end of January 2026, and you are being proactive with your goals, intentions, and passions. You are a force to be reckoned with this month, and you are making things happen for yourself with confidence. Capricorn Season officially begins on December 21 this year, and this is definitely speeding up your healing process. You are breaking free from what was, and with Venus also moving into Capricorn before the month ends, you are leaving this year in high spirits and with love opening a new door for you.
AquariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleAQUARIUS
December is all about community, creativity, and manifestation, Aquarius. This is the month to work together with others to help bring your dreams to life. You are in a space of inspiration, empowerment, and beauty, and are creating more of this energy around you and in your world. Look out for what support comes your way this month and know that you don’t have to do everything alone to succeed. With the Sun in your 11th house of manifestation and friendship, your intentions are coming to fruition, and it’s time to celebrate with the people you love and to own how far you have come this year.
On December 19, we have a New Moon in Sagittarius, lighting up your life in all of the best ways possible. This is your New Moon of freedom, victory, and magic, and you are seeing new beginnings appear that you were once just hoping for. Before the month comes to an end, Venus moves into your 12th house of closure, and after an active and successful month, you are ready to relax, heal, and give your heart some of the attention it has been asking for. You are moving into the new year with the need to release and renew what hasn’t been working in your relationships, and you are finally ready to.
PiscesKyra Jay for xoNecolePISCES
December is a big month for you, Pisces. You are making some huge accomplishments this month, and are feeling like everything you have been through this year has been worth it for these moments that are coming to fruition for you now. The Sun is in your 10th house of career and reputation for most of the month, and this is where a lot of your focus is right now. You are claiming your successes and putting yourself out there in ways that not only serve you, but that inspire others as well.
Neptune officially goes direct on December 10, after being retrograde in your sign since July, and you are finally seeing things a little more clearly. You are feeling renewed inspiration and passion in your life, and your intuition is your strongest asset right now. Before December comes to an end, we also have a New Moon in your 10th house of career, and what happens now not only changes things for you in the present, but it also opens new doors and what is possible for you in the new year as well. Overall, you are on top of your game this month and are owning the joy and empowerment you feel.
Featured image by Kyra Jay for xoNecole
Things like what exactly? So glad that you asked.
How Serious Is the Relationship?
GiphyOkay, so if you’ve never heard of the “10-date rule” before, it’s basically the belief that after 10 consecutive dates with someone, it’s time to come to the conclusion that you are officially in a relationship with them. Personally, I have lived, observed and counseled enough people to say that when it comes to knowing where you stand with another person, you shouldn’t assume one damn thing — you should 1000 percent communicate your thoughts and listen to theirs in return.
That said, it is a bit different (wouldn’t you say?) if you’ve been out on a couple of dates with someone vs. if you’ve been with them for almost a year. So yeah, the first thing to ponder is how serious the dynamic is. Because honestly, if things are new and fairly casual, I don’t see how ending things, whether it’s the holiday season or not, is going to matter much — one way or another.
Remember, the holidays tend to be a very emotional time; however, if there isn’t a huge emotional investment going on, I don’t think anyone in a casual situation is going to look back and think that you are a villain (or Grinch), just because you’d prefer not to go on a third date with them. Good lord.
Next point.
Do You Want to Slow Down or End Things Entirely?
GiphyAre you totally over him or is it more like there are some things about the situation that you want to step back and ponder before making any major decisions about the future? If the answer is “B,” I recommend talking it over ASAP; especially if the two of you have been seeing each other for a while at this point. I say this because, whether you all are at the “meet the family” (or have already met the family) stage or not, when people are in a relationship, they tend to factor one another into their holiday plans — and it’s hella inconsiderate to not take this into account when it comes to the guy who you are seeing.
That said, I will say this: It’s mighty interesting that you are choosing this time of the year for this type of relational self-reflection — so, while you’re on this break, think about what it symbolizes.
For instance, are you slowing things down right now because you’re not sure if you want to go into a new year with him or are you doing it because spending the holidays together tends to represent that a relationship is far deeper than you want yours to be right now? Because really, you could’ve gone with the summertime (for example) not the holiday season to make this type of move…so, if your “pump the brakes” time is now, chances are, there is some subconscious subtext going on that you really should get to the root of.
Actual Holidays Are a DEFINITE No-No
GiphyYou would think that this wouldn’t need to be said yet since I once experienced a guy who decided to be a complete a*shole on my birthday some years back — yeah, let’s address it. Isn’t it interesting that one study revealed that during the first week of December, searches for how to break-up with someone go up by a whopping 60 percent? Then, if you add to that the fact that the holidays can sometimes be pretty stressful — well, while most folks with a heart and a conscience wouldn’t dream of breaking up with someone on an actual holiday, sometimes the pressure of everything can create the perfect storm for it to happen anyway.
That said, a super-duper throwback song by Neil Sedaka entitled, “Breaking Up Is Hard to Do” — and it absolutely is. Know what makes it worse: It happening on a holiday, so that every time the day rolls around, it’s bittersweet because you remember that someone broke up with you then.
Listen, just because you may not love or even like someone (in that way) anymore, that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t treat them with some common decency and respect. Besides, don’t you also want your own Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day to be as unscathed and drama-less as possible?
Whatever you’re gonna do, you’re grown, chile. If you want my advice, though — put good energy into your future holiday seasons and avoid breaking up (or even having deep decisions) on actual holidays.
Definitely Keep the Golden Rule in Mind
GiphyProbably, until the end of time, there are going to be debates about whether karma is real (in the sense of it being scientifically proven). While quite a bit of data says that it isn’t and that it tends to be adapted and promoted by certain faiths more than anything — if you do believe that you reap what you sow (Galatians 6:7-8), at the end of the day, that is pretty much what karma is all about and, as I oftentimes say, karma (or sowing and reaping) don’t have expiration dates. In other words, what you have said and done can manifest in ways and at times that you never saw coming. A cautionary tale, indeed.
So yeah — even if you’ve been with ole’ boy for a while now, you’ve tried to make it work and you just don’t see a future for the two of you anymore, however you decide to end it, definitely keep the golden rule of doing unto others as you would want them to do unto you in mind.
Be as kind as you are honest. Be as empathetic (putting yourself in his shoes) as much as you possibly can. Avoid gaslighting him about how he feels about your decision. Be clear about how you’d like things to be moving forward (for instance, if you actually DON’T want to be friends afterwards, there’s no need to say it). And try not to do anything that will make him feel used — like waiting until after receiving a Christmas gift to end it (you’d be amazed by how many people do exactly that. SMDH).
The thing about break-ups is, live long enough, and you’re probably going to be on the giving and receiving end of one. So, even if you’re not really emotionally invested in your relationship anymore, be kind to your future self and be as respectful as possible throughout your…relational transition. Because even if you don’t feel like he deserves it, your feelings up the road, with someone else who may do the same thing to you…absolutely do.
Timing Is Everything
GiphyA bishop by the name of Fulton J. Sheen once said, “Patience is power. Patience is not an absence of action; rather it is ‘timing’ it waits on the right time to act, for the right principles and in the right way.” And while it might seem really challenging to figure out when the RIGHT time to break up with someone is — “right” is about using good judgment, right is about conforming to certain principles (like integrity and fairness), right is about doing things in order. Now with that in mind, is the RIGHT TIMING now or should it be later?
Only you can really answer that yet what I will say is if your mind, body and spirit aren’t on the same page — figure out why before making any moves. Oh, and if it’s simply about fear — girl, whether it’s November 30, December 9 or January 14…break-ups are always going to be uncomfortable. It’s about knowing what’s best for you and then ending things in a way that is as respectful, timing-wise, as possible (again, due to the whole karma thing).
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‘Tis the season and sometimes “out with the old” means leaving a relationship behind. Just make sure that you move with wisdom and discernment and not hypersensitivity and knee-jerking.
That way, you can look back on every holiday season with as little regret as possible.
Due to how you handled things. Including a (potential) break-up.
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