
Black women are the core of this country and are the stern foundation of the Black race. They are often the least celebrated in history books and in our day-to-day lives because of intersectionality, being that they are Black and women. Black womanhood has evolved immensely over the decades, but unlike many other individuals, our change and opportunities have always developed slower because of the lack of support Black women often have. Either dealing with sexism, racism, or being gaslighted for their experiences.
Black womanhood is defined by unapologetic Black women that persevered through every storm regardless of the mishaps.
Here is a snapshot of Black womanhood and Black feminism in America throughout the decades. The good, the bad, and our bittersweet realities all in one.
Black Womanhood During Slavery
GiphyEnslaved women lived very different experiences; if you were light skin, you were considered a house slave and assigned domestic tasks. Black enslaved women faced several harsh stereotypes like being the nurturing mammy, lustful jezebel, or aggressive sapphire. Light skin slaves were often favored because their skin tone was the closest to white, and they were often the main target to be raped by male slave owners.
Dark skin enslaved women were known as field slaves, and they were demanded to do more grueling tasks. Field slaves would work ridiculous hours ranging from sunrise to sunset, women worked the same amount of hours as men, and pregnant women worked until the child was born. Older Black women would be considered less valuable because of their limited strength, so they would take care of the children and younger women if needed. Slavery is the reason colorism is still a prime issue globally; it created a caste system that has evolved over the generations and across the globe, perceiving darker skin as problematic.
Black Womanhood During Abolitionism And The Underground Railroad
Black women were the leading force of the abolitionist writing, lecturing, and leaders of escaping slavery. One of the most prominent women during this time was Maria W. Stewart, who was the first Black woman to publicly address slavery and criticizing Black men for not standing up and being heard about the rights they deserve. Many abolitionists were also educators like Sarah Mapp Douglass, who ran a school for free Black children in Philadelphia, and she also taught kids and adults in New York.
Harriet Tubman wasn't a lecturer but she led hundreds of slaves to the north, an activist at heart, and collaborated with women's rights groups. At the time, the leader of Black feminists was Sojourner Truth. She lectured about women's rights and anti-slavery and joined a traveling anti-slavery circuit alongside Abby Kelly Foster.
Black Womanhood During The Civil War
Rosa Parks gives a speech at the Poor Peoples March in 1968Photo by Unseen Histories on UnsplashDuring the Civil War, Black women didn't have the privilege of contributing to the Union supporting troops in the war—like their white counterparts. And they didn't have the option to fight in the Civil War like Black men. Black women's workload just increased at their plantation and household labor. Some women took this opportunity to flee slavery with their children but faced several difficulties along the way.
Black women faced "formidable obstacles to freedom: limited mobility, little knowledge of geography, and concern for loved ones, further complicated by the encumbrances of escaping with young children." Despite all of their challenges, some of them were able to stick together as a family in innovative and creative ways.
Black Womanhood During Harlem Renaissance
During the Harlem Renaissance, some Black women pursued being a librarian or a teacher, while others decided to be artists and writers, amplifying their truth.
Black women were the integral parts of the Harlem Renaissance. Taking roles as editors, organizers, decision-makers, and they helped publicize and shape the movement.
During that time, many Black women artists addressed race and gender issues and amplified their truths of what it was like to live in the world as a Black woman.
Black Womanhood During Jim Crow In The South
Washington Dc Girl GIF by Smithsonian National Museum of African American History & CultureGiphyRight after Emancipation, Black women tried to devote most of their time to their families by withdrawing from field labor, but they ended up having to work at least part-time because of white landowners. Formerly enslaved Black women were finally able to marry their Black male partners legally. Most Black women were restricted to just working domestic jobs, and they were finally able to get an education and build school establishments for every grade level.
America's race-based segregated economy took advantage of Black women domestic servants requiring them to work excessively long working hours, pay them tremendously low wages, and demanding them to complete an unreasonable workload.
Black Womanhood During The Civil Rights Movement
Black women were the backbone of the Civil Rights Movement, though many dealt with gender and sexual harassment. They built the grassroots organizations in cities and small towns in the South and for national movements. Ella Baker is known to be one of the most influential women in the Civil Rights Movement, working in the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP), starting as a field secretary and later becoming the director of branches. There were countless unnamed Black women who contributed to the movement that seem to just be shadows in society's eyes compared to Black male activists.
As journalist and minister Barbara Reynolds mentioned:
"It was not just a few leaders—it was women ... who really put their mark on history."
Black Womanhood During The Black Power Movement Late 60s To 70s
Photo by Benedikt Geyer on UnsplashBlack women were the trailblazers of the Black Power Movement. Some Black women joined serving both rank-and-file, national organizations, and leadership roles. Some Black women chose to focus on community control and self-determination through welfare rights and local neighborhood rights. Though there were issues with marginalizing Black women within the movement—Black women didn't stop fighting for inclusive Black power, demanding organizations to combat sexism, capitalism, and racism.
Black women joined the Black Panther Movement in the 60s after a year of its founding. Some of the most prominent Black women leaders in that organization were Joan Tarika Lewis, Ericka Huggins, Elaine Brown, and Angela Davis. There were also other prestigious organizations fighting for Black power, like the Black Liberation Army, with Assata Shakur at the front of their organization and the several Black women demanding justice in the Student Nonviolent Coordinating Committee.
Black Womanhood During The New Jim Crow
Black women have accomplished a tremendous amount of work in the 21st century, though we still deal with oppression through systemic racism. Black women have continued to persevere through every obstacle course. According to the National Women's Law Center, "almost all social justice movements were and are carried on the backs of Black women." Their impactful and lasting contribution to literature, education, feminism, fashion, music, and much more—are evident.
"Out of the huts of history's shame, I rise. Up from a past that's rooted in pain, I rise." - Maya Angelou
Black women are the most educated group of individuals in America, and they are the leading group of entrepreneurs opening businesses in America. It's simple; Black women are the future, the group that was once seen as the most neglected is rising on top to show how rich they have always been in spirit.
Featured image via Unsplash
This Is How To Keep 'Holiday Season Stress' From Infecting Your Relationship
Hmph. Maybe it’s just me, but it seems like there is something really weird happening in the fall season air (because winter doesn’t officially begin until December 21) that cuddle season is in full swing while break-up season is as well. In fact, did you know that break-ups are so popular during the holiday season that December 11 is deemed Break-Up Day?
The reasons why relationships shift around this time vary; however, I did both roll my eyes and chuckle when I read that a very popular one is because it’s an easy way to get out of getting one’s significant other a Christmas present. SMDH.
Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
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Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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Featured image by Shutterstock
Dreaming Of A White Christmas? These 7 Winter Wonderland Destinations Are Perfect For The Holidays
While most people opt for a tropical vacation during the winter months, there are still many people who want to fulfill their winter wonderland fantasies, which are more than likely centered on watching snow by the fireplace while sipping some hot cocoa.
With Thanksgiving vastly approaching and Christmas a little under a month away, there is still time to ditch the traditional Christmas home to visit family or friends.
Whether you’re looking to put a new stamp on your passport and keep things domestic with a destination in the States, xoNecole has you covered with a few hotspots for those itching to go somewhere cold (but with cozy vibes) this holiday season.
Aspen, Colorado
Our Christmas queen, Mariah Carey, has been taking an annual trip to this snowy destination since 1997, just three years after dropping the track that would make her the unofficial (but official to us) ambassador of the winter holiday.
Aside from being a key vacation spot for one of the culture’s greatest musicians, Aspen also offers travelers access to world-class skiing and snowboarding and four distinct mountains that provide the perfect backdrop for a winter vacation.
Whistler, British Columbia, Canada
Home to the largest ski resort in North America, Whistler Blackcomb, this destination is located in the Coast Mountain Range and is about 75 miles north of Vancouver.
From luxury spas like Scandinave Spa Whistler to Olympic Park, this is another top winter vacation spot that offers a unique experience for people who love snow and the thrill of a good adventure.
Western Massachusetts
Dubbed the place for a magical holiday escape, Springfield, Massachusetts, blends the warmth of small-town charm with unforgettable experiences like Grinchmas at Springfield Museums, Winterlights at Naumkeag in Stockbridge, Historic Deerfield’s Winter Frolic, and many others.
This destination offers something for all ages, and it’s close to home, making it all the more reason to place on your radar for a winter getaway.
Rovaniemi, Finland
If you want to really get into the Christmas spirit, this just may be the place for you. As the official home to Saint Nick himself, Rovaniemi, Finland offers reindeer sleigh rides, the opportunity to stay in a glass igloo, as well as an opportunity to experience the Santa Claus Village.
Lake Tahoe, California/Nevada
Who says that visits to the lake house are only reserved for summer vacation? A winter trip to Lake Tahoe is equipped with stunning lake views and top-notch ski resorts, including Heavenly and Northstar.
Chamonix, France
Sitting at the base of Mont Blanc, Chamonix, France, is known for its skiing and mountaineering. This destination is home to the Aiguille du Midi cable car, the charming Alpine village, and is also close to various other European ski destinations.
Northeastern Pennsylvania
This area of the U.S. state is home to the Poconos Mountains, whose renowned ski resorts include Camelback Mountain, Blue Mountain, and Jack Frost Big Boulder. Whether you’re a ski expert, a beginner, or just there for the vibes, this destination makes for a winter vacation that balances fun adventures and cozy getaways. Additionally, Pennsylvania is home to the Christmas Tree Capital of the world.
Feature image by Shutterstock
Originally published on November 23, 2024









