

Recently, the acronym BIPOC has been used when addressing issues surrounding Black Lives Matter, and the Black experience overall. I noticed the trend after the murder of George Floyd, a 46-year-old Black man killed in Minneapolis during an arrest for allegedly using a counterfeit bill that resulted in him being pinned to the ground by former officer Derek Chauvin who kept his knee on Floyd's neck for at least eight minutes and 46 seconds while he spoke the same words Eric Garner did as he died at the hands of police, "I can't breathe."
When companies and communities began to speak out and demand justice for the senseless murder and biases that we face in this country, the term 'BIPOC' was at the helm of many conversations. It led me to wonder who exactly they're talking to and why again the Black community has to adapt to yet another name change?
It's enough as an African-American to unpack that I'm African without memory, and American without privilege, and now I'm expected to take time out of my Black day to Google this foolishness?
Don’t call me BIPOC.
— “Scottie Beam” (@ScottieBeam) June 15, 2020
Unless you want hands and feet put on you.
After some research, I discovered that BIPOC stands for "Black, Indigenous and People of Color". According to The Oxford English Dictionary, the phrase, "people of color" dates back centuries — it was first cited in The Oxford English Dictionary, with the British spelling "colour," in 1796 — and is often abbreviated as POC. Additionally, The New York Times reported that Black and Indigenous was included by Cynthia Frisby, a professor of strategic communication at the Missouri School of Journalism.
Miss me with the people of color talk today. Say Black with a capital B with your whole chest or don’t say anything.
— Matthew A. Cherry (@MatthewACherry) May 29, 2020
While I understand the desire to advocate for multiple groups, and the importance of the acknowledgment of Indigenous people, and people of color, the BIPOC community promotes the inclusion of all people of color who have been mistreated, misrepresented, and discriminated against and unites marginalized communities on more significant issues that hurt all non-white individuals. When you address a group of people that includes Black and Indigenous people of color, that term is acceptable. When you are advocating for issues Black and Indendegous people of color, that term is acceptable. Police brutality, however, is not one of them - it impacts Black, Latinx, and Native-American communities specifically.
Quite frankly, I want our community, and those who desire to hold space for us to know that in order to do that, they need to say Black with a Capital B. The term is the new People of Color, it's palatable. Many of us have had to unlearn the need to say 'people of color' when they desire to say Black, including myself.
And if you actually mean “people of color” then by all means, say that. It’s fine. I’m just asking you to examine your intentions so that Black people aren’t erased in discussions specifically meant for us.
— Robin Thede (@robinthede) June 2, 2020
Still, after hearing another Black women address issues impacting our community specifically, and use the acronym, I thought that maybe I was being dramatic and questioned if I had unlearning to do. Days later, as I sat with my thoughts, the heroes of Black Twitter reminded me that my experience and perspective were valid as I felt silenced by trending terms.
The entire world had to shut down for this county to finally begin paying attention to the preservation of Black life, and we can't even have that?
This isn't to say that there shouldn't be spaces where the BIPOC community comes together. However, we deserve to take up space in conversations that impact us more than any other race, and we shouldn't feel the need to apologize for that.
BIPOC is another way for white people to avoid saying black. don't call me that, please.
— Corey Stokes (@coreystokesss) June 11, 2020
Saying BIPOC when that's not who you wish to target allows this county to continue to avoid the harm that it's done to us, and it drowns out the Black community's cries. As a Black woman in this county, whose Great-Grandmother was Native-American and the first generation to move off of her reservation, I am well aware of the struggles that other groups face. This call-to-action is to not dismiss Indigenous people and people of color that have their own individual inequalities that they fight for.
This is to ask that just as Black people do not attach ourselves to those issues, do not lump us all together when discussing who is disproportionately shot, killed, and put in jail at the hands of police.
Doing so is beyond lazy, it's dismissive, and moreover it tells us that you don't think about what impacts us to the same magnitude as you do when other groups are involved. This country has 400 years worth of conversations specifically for Black people.
Now more than ever, we need to make sure we take up space, specifically for us.
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Dubbed one of the "21 Black Women Wellness Influencers You Should Follow" by Black + Well, Yasmine Jameelah continues to leave her digital footprint across platforms ranging from Forever 21 Plus, Vaseline, and R29 Unbothered discussing all things healing and body positivity. As a journalist, her writing can be found on sites such as Blavity, Blacklove.com, and xoNecole. Jameelah is also known for her work shattering unconventional stigmas surrounding wellness through her various mediums, including her company Transparent Black Girl. Find Yasmine @YasmineJameelah across all platforms.
'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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I’ve gotta say that, for the most part, my friends are pretty damn chill. There is one (major) exception, though — and it’s an odd one. Even after all these years and countless times of me giving them the same answer, if there is a time when they think they are my mama, it’s when they see an email come through at an odd hour of the night. Then, all of a sudden, here they come asking me when do I get sleep if I’m emailing at (say) three in the morning.
Again, the answer never changes because, if there is one thing that Shellie Reneé Warren is gonna get, it’s 6-8 (sometimes nine) hours of sleep. However, since my chronotype (check out “Ever Wonder What Personality Traits Make Someone A 'Morning Person'?”) means that I like/prefer to write in the wee hours of the morning, sometimes I will sleep for the night for five hours and take a nap in the day. And y’all, that is just fine with me because I am well aware of the fact that napping does everything from give me more energy, heighten my alertness and even make me more creative to decrease stress levels, strengthen immunity, and reduce my chances of experiencing a heart attack or stroke.
My problem is I will oftentimes go “overboard” with my daytime zzz’s. What I mean by that is, in order to get the most out of a nap, they say thatyou shouldn’t sleep for longer than 25 minutes or so; otherwise, you could wake up feeling sluggish (I don’t but…). Also, it can make resting, soundly, at night a bit of a struggle.
So, what are you saying, Shellie? We should get quickies in? Yeah. And it’s funny that the word “quickie” would come up because just like a sex quickie can do wonders for you (and it can — check out “12 Super Solid Reasons To Have A Quickie Every Single Day”), it’s a full-circle moment when I say that something that can improve the quality of your sex life is to have a power nap (a nap that lasts between 10-30 minutes).
Wanna know how the two things correlate? Honestly, it’s no secret that sleep and sex work together to optimize both (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”). Today, though, we’re going to tap into how a nap, specifically, can have you partaking in some of the best sex that you’ve experienced in a minute. I’ll explain.
Naps Reduce Stress
If you’re feeling super stressed out right now, you are not alone. There is plenty of data out here that says that most of us are stressed for at least a couple of reasons at a time — and that can impact your sexual health on a few levels. For one thing, it can bring about feelings of depression and/or anxiety. Stress can also throw your hormone levels off (including your cycle) which can weaken your libido. Stress can make you want to put distance between you and your partner (yes, literally).
Stress can also make it challenging to get aroused or to have an orgasm. And just what can help to decrease stress? Taking a nap. Since sleep has a way of helping you to “get off of the clock” and relax a bit, that can lower your stress levels and “reset” your body so that you are calmer — and that, in turn, can do wonders for your sex drive and ultimately your sex life.
Naps Improve Your Mood
There is one person in my life, and fairly 80 percent of the time, she’s in a super good mood. Oh, but let that girl go without sleep, and…who is this woman? LOL. There’s research behind why this happens. When a person is sleep-deprived, it messes with their brain chemicals, and that can amplify emotions like anger, restlessness and sadness. In fact, one study revealed that people who had their sleep disrupted throughout the night, they ended up having their positive outlook on life reduced by about 30 percent.
And geeze, who wants to have sex when they’re not feeling very good? Anyway, since serotonin is a neurotransmitter that helps to regulate your moods, your sleep patterns, and your libido and sleep is what helps to keep it in balance — by taking a nap, not only can it help you to feel better, it can also increase your desire for sex (it can also build up your endurance which is also…sexually beneficial).
Naps Increase Your Focus and Concentration
Something that some of my clients bring up is how, when it comes to having sex, sometimes the flesh is willing while the spirit is weak because, although the desire for intimacy is there, so much is going on that they aren’t able to get still enough to focus on experiencing copulation with their partner. This also tracks because, when you don’t have enough rest, your brain finds itself not working in harmony and that can make it hard to do everything from approaching life with a sense of flexibility to making necessary decisions.
Certain data also reveal that a lack of rest can cause you to have a really poor attention span and not process things in context (the more you know). So, if you really want to get some yet it’s hard for you to focus long enough to make it happen, ask your bae to lie down with you and take a nap. Between the sleep and the snuggling (check out “Fall's Coming: 8 Wonderful Health Benefits Of Cuddling”) — you may wake up with your mind and body totally on the same page. #wink
Naps Can Make You Feel Better About Your Body
Even if, overall, you feel really good about your body, I think that we all have moments when we feel less attractive than others — and who wants to have sex when they don’t really feel…very sexy? Well, something else that sleep, in general, can do is increase your confidence in your body.
For one thing, if you want to lose a few pounds, sleep can actually make that happen by helping your body metabolize the glucose (sugar) that’s in it so that you can better manage your appetite. Other studies go on to share that since sleep deprivation can impact one’s mental health and emotional stability in a negative way, of course, getting enough rest would increase body positivity.
Shoot, science even goes so far as to say that insomnia can cause people to have an elevated level of dissatisfaction when it comes to their body image. Don’t take their word for it, though. Look in the mirror before a nap. Then look in a mirror after waking up from me. Do you feel better? I’d be surprised if you don’t.
Makes Your Brain Bigger…Which Could Make Your Orgasms Better
I saved the best for last by design. Now if you’re wondering how in the world a nap can improve (and possibly increase) your orgasms — oh, there is a method to the madness…trust. For starters, the saying that your biggest sex organ is your brain? That isn’t a myth. Long story less long, the brain is what houses your central nervous system and that is what controls how men and women sexually function (yes, literally).
And since the brain also releases feel-good chemicals like dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin during sex and brain activity significantly increases in women during sexual activity (especially right before she orgasms) — well, would it trip you out to know that when you take a nap, your brain actually expands? A bigger brain (that’s healthy) can potentially intensify your sexual experiences (and your climaxes) — and who doesn’t want that to go down?
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Like I said earlier, I never have to be convinced to get a nap in. However, if your sex life has been a bit stagnant lately, you’ve been feeling a little sluggish and you’re not sure what to do — I’m hoping that a nap can get you right.
There’s enough science to prove that it can. All you need to do is give it a shot.
Now where’s your pillow and sleep mask, chile?
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