Love is beautiful and social media is a wonderful way to showcase and spread it. However, many times it's the content with a bit of controversy or drama tied to it that gets all the double taps. But as my father once told me, "It's fine to seek drama in your art and interests, but love should make you happy and feel peace." When he said that, it stuck with me. For a long time, I think I sought out excitement in my relationships and that can lead to a lot of unhappiness or unhealthy situations.
Now, I'm working to see things differently. In fact, when I think about a few of my favorite celebrity couples, I realize they're kind of lowkey. While their names ring bells professionally, their personal lives seem somewhat normal and peaceful. They're just unproblematic, in love, and successful, and I think it's OK to say, "That's goals."
Check out these Black celebrity couples that keep the intimate details of their relationship to themselves but still made our list of faves.
Sabrina Dhowre and Idris Elba
I still remember when the news dropped that actor and musician Idris Elba was married. It was like Black women around the world were a little heartbroken. But that changed when we got introduced to his wife, TV host, model, and former Miss Vancouver, Sabrina Dhowre Elba.
On an episode of The Sip, Sabrina mentioned the couple met in a jazz bar where she chatted with the Luther star in plans of connecting him with a friend. But apparently, Mr. Elba read the situation wrong because he was very much into her. So after Sabrina got her friend's approval, they continued talking and the magic happened.
Clearly, that worked out, because years later they're still going strong. And although the pair seems to value their privacy, when they do share, it puts us in our feelings and makes it super hard to be a hater. Sabrina told The Sip:
"Early on Idris told me, 'Do not read what people say, the internet is a toxic place.' I took that on, and I started living for myself and not feeling like I have to justify my relationship. It's not for other people."
"I know what we have is amazing and I cherish it," she continued. "But at the same time we're trying to get used to exploring it openly and that's one of the reasons we started our podcast, Coupledom."
Tia Mowry and Cory Hardrict
Tia Mowry is one of those celebrities we've admired for decades. Her work on timeless classics like Sister, Sister, and The Game have entertained and inspired so many, so it always feels good to support celebrities who not only share positivity through their work but through their personal lives as well. And one way she and her husband, actor Cory Hardrict, do that is through their beautiful display of love and marriage.
When reflecting on how they met, The Chi actor told Global Grind, "I was waiting at a bus stop after I shot my first film. She and her sister drove by, they saw me waiting, and asked to give me a ride. I was so embarrassed."
He continued, "But, they gave me a ride and we have been friends ever since." Today, they are both successful actors and very much in love after 13 years of marriage.
Eudoxie and Chris "Ludacris" Bridges
As an Atlanta transplant, I have to start this by saying we don't give Ludacris enough credit for a lot of things. But one area I think definitely isn't discussed enough is his happy marriage to the influencer, author, and philanthropist Eudoxie. The couple met in 2008 at "Luda Day Weekend," an annual celebrity celebration focused on service. They quickly developed a friendship. Fast-forward to six years later: they tied the knot in a baecation ceremony at a secret location.
Since that time, the rapper has gained dual citizenship in Gabon, showing a true interest in his wife's heritage.
About a year ago, the couple has shared a major hardship. Eudoxie wrote an emotional Instagram post, which read:
"I had a miscarriage and needed to have surgery. It was very easy to complain and self-pity but I refused to let the enemy win. I stayed faithful and prayed up. I spent hours focusing on the many ways the Lord has blessed me. How could I complain when God has blessed me with the opportunity to already experience motherhood? I'm sharing this with you all to remind you to live in gratitude."
She continued, " Thank you God for your favor over my life. Thank you for my beautiful family and friends who have been so supportive. Thank you for another year!" The couple has recently welcomed their second child together and is excited about the launch of Karma's World, a children's series created by Ludricis, dedicated to his oldest daughter Karma, now streaming on Netflix.
Meagan Good and DeVon Franklin
Meagan Good and DeVon Franklin were very open about their courtship and their decision to be celibate before getting married. However, more recently, they've kept their marriage details pretty close to the chest. When they do share with us, it seems pretty clear that these two are very much in love.
In their book The Wait, the couple shared that they met years ago but reconnected on the set of the 2011 film, Jumping the Broom.
On Oprah's Super Soul SundayMeagan reflected on meeting DeVon saying, "I remember thinking, wow, that's the kind of guy I wish I could marry. I thought he was out of my league because of how amazing he was."
DeVon expressed that he thought she was too much of a celebrity and out of his league as well. But thanks to their commitment to each other and their faith they ended up together a little over a year later.
Keith Powers and Ryan Destiny
Both of these actors have a loyal following of admirers so it was quite a story when these two hit the scene together. I mean when they drop a picture, it only takes a few seconds for the post to be full of comments and emojis. The actors told Teen Vogue that they met at the mag's 2015 party. As soon as Keith Powers saw Ryan Destiny, he walked over and introduced himself, sparking a beautiful friendship. Then, thanks to social media and a genuine bond, the relationship grew from there.
Powers told Teen Vogue, "I realized I was in love when I knew my life would be extremely affected negatively if Ryan wasn't in it."
"Loving someone is a very natural feeling that just happens," he added. "You can't just wake up and say, 'I love this person.' You feel it. You realize like, 'Wow, this person is a piece of me,' and regardless, you don't ever want that person out of your life."
Still, we don't see the couple in the mix too much. And the reason why may surprise you. In an interview with The Jed Foundation, Keith revealed his battles with anxiety and depression and that he can sometimes become uncomfortable with the attention that his relationship receives. He recalled a dark time, adding, "People speaking on my relationship and having opinions on it really hurt me. I'd have mornings where I'd literally dread the fact that I had to get up for the day. The anxiety of getting on social media was really getting to me."
Featured image via Getty Images/Gregg DeGuire
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Kirby Carroll grew up in VA but now calls Atlanta, GA home. She has a passion for creating content and helping brands grow through storytelling and public relations. When not immersed in work, you can find her sipping a mimosa at brunch or bingeing a new TV drama on Netflix. Keep up with her on social media at @askKirbyCarroll.
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From Monogamy To Polyamory: 'I'm In An Asexual Poly Marriage With My Husband Of 7 Years'
Have you ever wondered what it's like to be asexual and in an open marriage? Relationship Coach Mikki Bey shared her first-hand experience with us as well as answered some of our burning questions.
Like a lot of people, Mikki met her now husband, Raheem Ali, online. As soon as they met, they instantly fell in love and got engaged on their first date. Just 90 days after they met, the couple tied the knot and have now been married for seven years. Raheem and Mikki aren’t your typical married couple, and despite being married for almost a decade, their marriage is anything but traditional. Mikki and Raheem have what she calls an "asexual polyamorous marriage."
Defining Her Sexuality
It wasn't until last summer that Mikki found the language to define her sexuality. "I didn't have the language for it until last summer," she explained to xoNecole. "Looking back, I just thought sex wasn't my thing. It was never enjoyable for me, and I'd go years without even noticing.”
Mikki always thought she was broken because she had no interest in sex. Mikki noticed after her friends came to visit and started discussing their sexual fantasies that she realized something was different about her. “At that point, I knew something was definitely different about me since I do not have sexual fantasies at all. It was truly news to me that people are at work thinking about sex! That was not my experience.” This led to Mikki researching asexuality, which she soon realized fit her to a T. “It felt like breathing new air when I was able to call it by name," said Mikki.
"Looking back, I just thought sex wasn't my thing. It was never enjoyable for me, and I'd go years without even noticing it."
Asexuality refers to people who experience little or no sexual attraction, experience attraction without acting on it sexually, or experience sexual attraction differently based on other factors. Like most things, asexuality falls on a spectrum and encompasses many other identities. It's important to remember, however, that attraction and action are not always synonymous: some asexuals may reject the idea of sexual contact, but others may be sex-neutral and engage in sexual activity.
It's possible that some asexuals will have sex with someone else despite not having a libido or masturbating, but others will have sex with a partner because it brings a sense of connection.
From a Traditional Marriage to Kitchen Table Polyamory
Although Mikki never really had a high sex drive, it wasn’t until after the birth of her son, that she noticed her sex drive took a real nosedive. “I never had a high sex drive, but about a year after my son was born, I realized I had zero desire. My husband has a high sex drive, and I knew that it would not be sustainable to not have sex in our marriage at that time.”
She was determined to find an alternative to divorce and stumbled upon a polyamory conversation on Clubhouse. Upon doing her own research, she brought up the idea to their husband, who was receptive. “It’s so interesting to me that people weigh sex so heavily in relationships when even if you are having a ton of sex, it’s still a very small percentage of the relationship activity," Mikki shared.
They chose polyamory because Mikki still wanted to be married, but she also wanted to make sure that Raheem was getting his individual needs and desires met, even if that meant meeting them with someone else. “I think that we have been programmed to think that our spouses need to be our 'everything.' We do not operate like that. There is no one way that fits all when it comes to relationships, despite what society may try to tell you. Their path to doing this thing called life together may be different from yours, but they found what works for them. We have chosen to design a marriage that works for us,” Mikki explained.
"We have chosen to design a marriage that works for us. We both consent to each of us having everything from casual sex partners to lifetime partners if it should go there. We believe love is abundant and do not limit ourselves or each other on how we express it."
She continued, “We both consent to each of us having everything from casual sexual partners to lifetime partners if it should get there. We believe love is abundant and do not limit ourselves or each other on how we express it. Our dynamic is parallel with kitchen table poly aspirations.”
Kitchen table polyamory (KTP) is a polyamorous relationship in which all participants are on friendly terms enough to share a meal at the kitchen table. Basically, it means you have some form of relationship with your partner’s other partner, whether as a group or individually. A lot of times, KTP relationships are highly personal and rooted in mutual respect, communication, and friendship.
Intimacy in an Asexual Polyamorous Marriage
Mikki says she and her husband, Raheem, still share intimate moments despite being in a polyamorous marriage. “Our intimacy is emotional, intellectual, spiritual, and physical, although non-sexual. We are intentional about date nights weekly, surprising and delighting each other daily, and most of all, we communicate our needs regularly. In my opinion, our intimacy is top-tier! I give my husband full-body massages, mani-pedis and make sure I am giving him small physical touches/kisses throughout the day. He is also very intentional about showing me his love and affection.”
Raheem and Mikki now use their lives as examples for others. On their website, thepolycouplenextdoor.com, they coach people interested in learning how to be consensually non-monogamous. “We are both relationship coaches. I specialized in emotional regulation, and Raheem specializes in communication and conflict resolution. The same tools we use in our marriage help our clients succeed in polyamory."
Mikki advises people who may be asexual or seeking non-monogamy to communicate their needs openly and to consider seeking sex therapy or intimacy coaching. Building a strong relationship with a non-sexual partner requires both empathy and compassion.
For more of Mikki, follow her on Instagram @getmikkibey. Follow the couple's platform on Instagram @thepolycouplenextdoor.
Featured image by skynesher/Getty Images