How To Have A Bomb AF Birthday During A Pandemic
Days before I turned 27, George Floyd was murdered by police, only months after Breonna Taylor (a woman who would have also made 27 that week) was shot to death in her bed while she was asleep and although it was my birthday, I wasn't in the mood for cake.
Despite being showered with love by friends and family via online messages and Cash App notifications, I couldn't shake the thought: George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, Oluwatoyin Salau, Ahmaud Arbery, Atatiana Jefferson, and hundreds of my Black brothers and sisters that were lost in our fight for justice will never celebrate their birthdays again.
And just as quickly as I was taken with sadness, I was overwhelmed with gratitude. By God's grace, I woke up this morning—safe, healthy, and loved. And because they were unjustly robbed of their right to live, I promise not to forget what they died for. I recently read that Black joy is an act of resistance and I felt that in my spirit. Depression is only one of the many tactics used by our oppressors to further silence our voices, and in the words of our good sister Iyanla—not on my watch.
Despite a pandemic, police brutality, civil unrest, and an impending election, I'm proud to say that I chose joy on my birthday. And if you need advice on how to find some joy and celebrate life despite being surrounded by death, destruction, and depression, scroll below for tips.
Buy Your Favorite Cake
Pretty Honore/xoNecole
Pretty Honore/xoNecole
I've heard that eating your feelings is looked poorly upon but it's your birthday and you can do whatever TF you want to, sis.
Comfort food is ideal for when we need, well, comfort, and a delicious cake made with your favorite flavors will hit all of the spots. My sister gifted me with a three-layer torte with four different flavors from Walmart and I wouldn't be lying to you if I told you I didn't smash that entire thing by myself. And that's on gang.
Spoil Yourself With Gifts
That lingerie set you've been eyeing? Buy it. Dying to try out that expensive eyeshadow that's finally on sale? Add to cart. Running out of your favorite perfume and desperately need a massage? Treat your MF self, sis!
I am as frugal as they come but when the clock strikes twelve on my birthday honey? I spend a coin.
While keeping your budget in mind, try a little retail therapy by shopping with these Black-owned companies for some birthday gifts fit for a queen.
Take A Day Trip
Pretty Honore/xoNecole
Pretty Honore/xoNecole
Being a Denver native is pretty much like living in a postcard, so it wasn't hard to pick a spot to slide to for a little R&R. I traveled to Chatfield Park, a small reservoir and state park that sits just outside Littleton.
The Park, which offers a mountain view, grounds for camping, and a huge lake was the perfect place to let my braids down, take a deep breath, and exhale all of the feelings of sadness that I had accumulated the week prior.
Pro tip: Add weed for additional fun.
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Featured image by Pretty Honore for xoNecole.com.
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Taylor "Pretty" Honore is a spiritually centered and equally provocative rapper from Baton Rouge, Louisiana with a love for people and storytelling. You can probably find me planting herbs in your local community garden, blasting "Back That Thang Up" from my mini speaker. Let's get to know each other: @prettyhonore.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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You've Never Seen Luke James In A Role Quite Like This
Over the years, we've watched Luke James play countless characters we'd deem sex symbols, movie stars, and even his complicated character in Lena Waithe's The Chi. For the first time in his career, the New Orleans-born actor has taken on a role where his signature good looks take a backseat as he transforms into Edmund in Them: The Scare—a mentally deranged character in the second installment of the horror anthology series that you won't be able to take your eyes off.
Trust us, Edmund will literally make you do a double take.
xoNecole sat down with Luke James to talk about his latest series and all the complexity surrounding it—from the challenges taking on this out-of-the-box role to the show's depiction of the perplexing history of the relationship between Black Americans and police. When describing the opportunity to bring Edmund's character to life, Luke was overjoyed to show the audience yet another level of his masterful acting talents.
"It was like bathing in the sun," he said. "I was like, thank you! Another opportunity for me to be great—for me to expand my territory. I'm just elated to be a part of it and to see myself in a different light, something I didn't think I could do." He continued, "There are parts of you that says, 'Go for it because this is what you do.' But then also that's why it's a challenge because you're like, 'um, I don't know if I'm as free as I need to be to be able to do this.' Little Marvin just created such a safe space for me to be able to do this, and I'm grateful for everything I've been able to do to lead to this."
Courtesy
Them: The Scare, like the first season, shines a light on the plight of Black Americans in the United States. This time, the story is taking place in the 1990s, at the height of the Rodney King riots in Los Angeles. While the series presents many underlying themes, one that stands out is Black people and the complicated relationship with the police. "For the audience, I think it sets the tone for the era that we're in and the amount of chaos that's in the air in Los Angeles and around the country from this heinous incident. And I say it just sets the tone of the anxiety and anxiousness that everybody is feeling in their own households."
James has been a longtime advocate against police brutality himself. He has even featured Elijah McClain, the 23-year-old Colorado man who died after being forcibly detained by officers, as his Instagram avatar for the past five years. So, as you can imagine, this script was close to his heart. "Elijah was a soft-loving oddball. Different than anyone but loving and a musical genius. He was just open and wanted to be loved and seen."
Getty Images
Luke continued, "His life was taken from him. I resonate with his spirit and his words...through all the struggle and the pain he still found it in him to say, 'I love you and I forgive you.' And that's who we are as people—to our own detriment sometimes. He's someone I don't want people to forget. I have yet to remove his face from my world because I have yet to let go of his voice, let go of that being [because] there's so many people we have lost in our history that so often get forgotten."
He concluded, "I think that's the importance of such artwork that moves us to think and talk about it. Yes, it's entertaining. We get to come together and be spooked together. But then we come together and we think, 'Damn, Edmund needed someone to talk to. Edmund needed help... a lot [of] things could have been different. Edmund could have been saved.'
Check out the full interview below.
Luke James Talks Ditching Sex Symbol Status For "Them: The Scare", Elijah McClain, & Morewww.youtube.com
Featured image by Getty Images