Optimal positioning is … well… optimal for solo sex. It seems like lying on your back is enough but we deserve so much more than the bare minimum. After all, if we don't make our own pleasure priority, then how will we demand that others? Just like with actual sex, there are some positions that can reach a little bit further than others, and you'd be foolish to rollover without getting the most out of your masturbation time.
Every time I switch it up, I'm amazed at how much more thrilling the intensity and sensation is, and I almost never regret it. The best part about switching it up is that I, personally anyway, feel that I'm able to simulate an intimate type of pleasure derived from partner sex. I can hug breasts while I ride the grooves of my toys. I can speed it up and I can slow it down. I can pretend I'm riding an actual dick, should I be in the mood for the real thing.
There are so many small wins in switching up your positions while you sex yourself and we could talk about those all day. In honor of May being National Masturbation Month, I thought it'd be more interesting if I gave you the 4 positions likely to wear you out as I master the flick of the wrist.
1.The Titty Twist & Armchair Straddle
I stan all standing positions for masturbating, but this one is a real one because it promotes titty play. My breasts are my hotspot, always have been. The only thing that saddens me is that I'm not able to do more for them, but I do what I can making sure that I caress and arouse them as much as a man would (a man without a tongue, of course). Additionally, standing for masturbation is a jackpot position bound to make you light up.
2.The Squat-and-Rock
If you really love girl on top, this one has your name written all over it. You'll feel the burn as you would if you were dropping down and getting your Eagle on and rock while playing with yourself.
3.The Invisible Man
One of my personal favorites. I often use this one to imagine I'm having the most unimaginable, mind-blowing sex with the man I don't have. Sometimes I straddle my knees further apart to expose my uber innie clitoris. I also prefer to use this position when I'm using my rabbit, which allows me to ride, but make no mistake I'll ride the hell out of my bullet too. This or anything semi-doggystyle are some of my most preferred methods of getting off.
4.The One Person Three-Way
When I peeped that was an actual position, some part of me got really hype. I suppose I should know by now that it's all been done before but in the moment that I'm doing it, it feels so odd and creative. Still, it's one of my favorite positions when I lift my legs up in this way.
Related Stories:
A Beginner's Guide to Anal Sex - Read More
4 Hit It From the Back Moves That Are Bound to Get You to Orgasm - Read More
These 5 Steamy Positions Will Reinvigorate Your Sex Life - Read More
Motor City native, Atlanta living. Sagittarius. Writer. Sexpert. Into all things magical, mystical, and unknown. I'll try anything at least once but you knew that the moment I revealed that I was a Sag.
Devale Ellis On Being A Provider, Marriage Growth & Redefining Fatherhood
In this candid episode of the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker talked with Devale Ellis, actor, social media personality, and star of Zatima, about modern masculinity, learning to be a better husband, emotional presence in marriage, fatherhood for Black men, and leading by example.
“I Wasn’t Present Emotionally”: Devale Ellis on Marriage Growth
Devale Ellis On Learning He Was a ‘Bad Husband’
Ellis grew up believing that a man should prioritize providing for his family. “I know this may come off as misogynistic, but I feel like it’s my responsibility as a man to pay for everything,” he said, emphasizing the wise guidance passed down by his father. However, five years into his marriage to long-time partner Khadeen Ellis, he realized provision wasn’t just financial.
“I was a bad husband because I wasn’t present emotionally… I wasn’t concerned about what she needed outside of the resources.”
Once he shifted his mindset, his marriage improved. “In me trying to be of service to her, I learned that me being of service created a woman who is now willing to be of service to me.”
On Redefining Masculinity and Fatherhood
For Ellis, “being a man is about being consistent.” As a father of four, he sees parenthood as a chance to reshape the future.
“Children give you another chance at life. I have four different opportunities right now to do my life all over again.”
He also works to uplift young Black men, reinforcing their worth in a world that often undermines them. His values extend to his career—Ellis refuses to play roles that involve domestic violence or sexual assault.
On Marriage, Family Planning, and Writing His Story
After his wife’s postpartum preeclampsia, Ellis chose a vasectomy over her taking hormonal birth control, further proving his commitment to their partnership. He and Khadeen share their journey in We Over Me, and his next book, Raising Kings: How Fatherhood Saved Me From Myself, is on the way.
Through honesty and growth, Devale Ellis challenges traditional ideas of masculinity, making his story one that resonates deeply with millennial women.
For the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker peels back the layers of masculinity with candid conversations that challenge stereotypes and celebrate vulnerability. Real men. Real stories. Real talk.
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
Featured image by YouTube/xoNecole
Devale Ellis On Being A Provider, Marriage Growth & Redefining Fatherhood
In this candid episode of the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker talked with Devale Ellis, actor, social media personality, and star of Zatima, about modern masculinity, learning to be a better husband, emotional presence in marriage, fatherhood for Black men, and leading by example.
“I Wasn’t Present Emotionally”: Devale Ellis on Marriage Growth
Devale Ellis On Learning He Was a ‘Bad Husband’
Ellis grew up believing that a man should prioritize providing for his family. “I know this may come off as misogynistic, but I feel like it’s my responsibility as a man to pay for everything,” he said, emphasizing the wise guidance passed down by his father. However, five years into his marriage to long-time partner Khadeen Ellis, he realized provision wasn’t just financial.
“I was a bad husband because I wasn’t present emotionally… I wasn’t concerned about what she needed outside of the resources.”
Once he shifted his mindset, his marriage improved. “In me trying to be of service to her, I learned that me being of service created a woman who is now willing to be of service to me.”
On Redefining Masculinity and Fatherhood
For Ellis, “being a man is about being consistent.” As a father of four, he sees parenthood as a chance to reshape the future.
“Children give you another chance at life. I have four different opportunities right now to do my life all over again.”
He also works to uplift young Black men, reinforcing their worth in a world that often undermines them. His values extend to his career—Ellis refuses to play roles that involve domestic violence or sexual assault.
On Marriage, Family Planning, and Writing His Story
After his wife’s postpartum preeclampsia, Ellis chose a vasectomy over her taking hormonal birth control, further proving his commitment to their partnership. He and Khadeen share their journey in We Over Me, and his next book, Raising Kings: How Fatherhood Saved Me From Myself, is on the way.
Through honesty and growth, Devale Ellis challenges traditional ideas of masculinity, making his story one that resonates deeply with millennial women.
For the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker peels back the layers of masculinity with candid conversations that challenge stereotypes and celebrate vulnerability. Real men. Real stories. Real talk.
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
Featured image by YouTube/xoNecole