For all my ladies looking to indulge in a little more than chocolate and wine this month, xoNecole is here to help. We've rounded up more than your fair share of eye candy and we found out exactly what they're looking for in love and how they personally care for their women. From musicians and models to poets and actors, these amazing men are sure to make your heart skip a beat. Check out these gorgeous MCMs and don't ever say we never did anything nice for you. We always got you, sis.
Meet Anthony Okray Jr..
Anthony Okray Jr. is a talented model hailing from South Central LA. He recently starred alongside J. Lo for her music video "Te Bote 2." And when he's not making women swoon with his good looks, he's wooing them with his words. A true writer at heart and poet, he'll be publishing two books of poetry in the near future. Anthony is definitely one to watch so indulge responsibly ladies...
On the top qualities he looks for in a woman…
"First and foremost, she must in some way, shape, or form resemble the qualities of my mother. Qualities that I look for in a woman would have to be compassion, ambition, confidence, and intelligence."
On his ideal date…
"My ideal date would honestly consist of myself and the person accompanying me simply gaining better insight of each other. It doesn't necessarily have to consist of anything monetary. We could chill on the beach, sip wine, and enjoy each other's company. As long as I'm able to further my understanding of that person, then nothing else matters. The only thing that I'm concerned with is creating memories and vibrations that won't ever be forgotten."
On what he’s learned from his last serious relationship…
"My last relationship taught me multiple lessons, but my main inference would be that no matter how much you love someone--that does not promise they'll be in your life forever. It took me a while to understand that the abundance of love that you emit is all that you can give. How that person receives it and what they choose to do with it is dependent [on] them."
On his major deal-breakers…
"One of the major deal-breakers for me in a relationship would have to be liars. But not just any liars, the compulsive/habitual liars. Another deal breaker for me would be someone who lacks a sense of humor and self-confidence. Also, a person who's unmotivated or not determined to transcend beyond where they currently are. I thrive off passion and people who are driven to become better. Lastly, a person who cannot hold an intellectual conversion. I value mental connections that go beyond your average 'wyd' conversation."
"I love being mentally stimulated, it turns me on more than anything else."
Courtesy of Anthony Okray Jr.
On the toughest part about dating nowadays…
"Man, this is the question! In my eyes the most difficult component of dating in this day in age is the fact that everyone is so damaged and distracted. My concern is that many people have become content with being this way and are not actively seeking ways to heal themselves. We tend to move from relationship to relationship without ever properly assessing our open wounds. We end hurting people who simply want to love us but since we are so hurt, we cannot determine their true intentions. I also feel like social media interferes. It distracts us from reality because so much is at our access.
"Social media has a way of eliminating certain things which we would be intrigued by and people form judgments based on our profiles. This to me ties in with our cellular devices which I feel people spend too much time on. People rarely listen with their undivided attention these days and everything is about how many likes you can obtain as well as validation."
On how he makes his special woman feel loved…
"I think the main thing you want to achieve when making your woman feel special is just making sure that she is aware of how special she truly is. Ensuring that she understands that she is beautiful as a person.
"Reassurance is also important; your lady has to be certain of you and your intentions with her. I like to remind my woman that I am hers and I do not plan on involving myself with anyone else the way I do with her.
"I don't think materialism is important, although I do believe from time to time you should indulge simply because it's deserved. It should not be the focal point. Your woman knows she is special when you give her you time, when you listen to her attentively."
On the first thing he notices about a woman when she walks into a room…
"When a fly woman walks into the room, the first thing that I notice is her energy and confidence. I notice the way that she draws attention and how she can change the entire scenery and shift the focus towards her. I notice the way she carries herself, like if she's capable of standing on her own two feet and accomplishing whatever she sets out to do."
His relationship status…
"I'm definitely single; I'm dating myself actually, trying to get to know myself better. I'm trying to figure out exactly what I like and vice versa."
For more of Anthony, follow him on Instagram. Featured image by Black Coffee Visuals/Instagram.
RELATED
In fact, aromatherapy is quite powerful when it comes to promoting calm and relaxation, helping to put you into an optimistic mood, reducing stress, preventing insomnia, and improving how soundly you are able to sleep throughout the night. And so, since I’m such an essential oils fan (and I truly am!), let’s get into 10 that will help you to rest well — thanks to the way that they smell along with a few other benefits that they are able to offer you too.
Essential Oils for Better Sleep
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1. Lavender
When it comes to essential oils that are best for you in the “rest and relaxation department,” lavender may be the most popular one. That’s because it is well known for doing everything from reducing pain and inflammation and making menstrual cramps less intense to lowering anxiety and increasing your melatonin levels. On a super scientific note, something else that’s cool about lavender oil is it works with your body’s neurotransmitters in order to reduce restlessness if you happen to be someone who doesn’t sleep soundly due to tossing and turning all throughout the night.
2. Cedarwood
Although I’ve always liked the earthy scent of cedarwood, something that caused it to earn my respect was reading about how it’s an all-natural way to improve the attention span of children who’ve been diagnosed with autism and ADHD. Beyond that, as far as calming oneself goes, cedarwood oil is able to soothe arthritic discomfort, reduce coughing (if a cold is what’s keeping you up), decrease the itchiness and irritation that comes with eczema, lower your stress levels, and, yes, improve your quality of sleep if you’re someone who happens to rest yet not really…rest well.
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3. Patchouli
Another oil that has a solid reputation for decreasing bodily inflammation is patchouli. Some other things that make it stellar are the facts that it helps to ward off depression-related symptoms (if that is what keeps you up at night), puts you in a better mood, boosts your immunity (so that being under the weather doesn’t prevent you from catching some zzz’s) and it even intensifies your libido — ‘cause chile, ain’t nothin’ like the sleep that you get after having an orgasm…or two. Oh, and it absolutely must go on record that patchouli oil also acts as a sedative if you’ve been dealing with insomnia as of late as well.
4. Marjoram
Women who are looking for an all-natural way to regulate their hormones (check out “5 Signs Your Estrogen Is Too High. 5 Signs It's Too Low.”) might want to speak with their doctor (or homeopath) about trying marjoram oil. Some research says that it can help to balance hormones which can make PMS and the latter stages of perimenopause more tolerable (which can make falling and staying asleep easier to do too). Marjoram is also helpful when it comes to reducing pain, easing digestion, and alleviating anxiety.
Plus, since marjoram is an oil that is high in magnesium and magnesium is a nutrient that can help you to get to sleep, stay asleep, and then wake up feeling refreshed — so long as you’re not pregnant or breastfeeding (you should consult your doctor first if you are because it can sometimes produce side effects in your case), you definitely should give marjoram a shot.
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5. Ylang Ylang
Typically, when I think of the essential oil ylang ylang, what comes to my mind is how it can make for a very eventful evening…if you catch my drift (check out “Ultimate Climax Hack? 10 Scents That Make It So Much Easier To Orgasm”); however, it can actually help you out in more areas of your life than just your bedroom. Ylang ylang is another oil that helps to reduce pain and anxiety. Something else to keep in mind about ylang ylang is if you’re having a hard time falling asleep due to something like a headache or even respiratory issues, putting a couple of drops into a diffuser could bring some relief. That’s because ylang ylang is also classified as being a sedative — one that can even help to lower the blood pressure in your bae (healthy men) if need be.
6. Fennel
As a doula, something that I’m well aware of is the fact that fennel seeds can help (some) mothers to produce more breast milk. It doesn’t stop there, though. If sleep is evading you due to gas or constipation, fennel oil can help you out there. Some scientific research also says that it’s the kind of oil that can help you feel less anxious if you’re trying to rest after a long hard day. And, since fennel is known for making sleeping better when it’s in tea form, I don’t see why it wouldn’t do the same thing as an essential oil too.
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7. Valerian Root
If you’re looking for the kind of essential oil that will help you to relax, on pretty much every level, look no further than valerian root. The properties in it are going to help to calm your nervous system, soothe headache tension, lower your stress levels, decrease menstrual cramp discomfort, bring relief to hot flashes (that come with perimenopause) and yes, it’s an all-natural approach to insomnia as well. Although many choose to use it in supplement form, applying valerian root oil to pressure points like your feet can also provide a very relaxing and impactful effect.
8. Jasmine
If you check out my article, “8 Natural Aphrodisiac Scents, Where They Go & How To Make Them Last” from back in the day, you’ll see that jasmine is another essential oil that is considered to be a pretty potential one if you’re looking to boost you (or your partner’s libido). I get why too because its floral-meets-fruity scent can be quite sensual. Beyond the bedroom, jasmine can help you to feel less stressed and anxious, experience less menstrual-related discomfort, and make you feel less depressed — and yes, it contains properties that qualify the oil to be a sedative. This is especially the case if you blend it with another soothing essential oil like lavender.
9. Clary Sage
If pretty much nothing but perimenopause symptoms are what’s keeping you awake at night, you might want to keep a bottle of clary sage oil on your nightstand because it can help to decrease night sweats by naturally “leveling out” the estrogen that may be on a bit of a roller coaster ride in your system right through here. Other things that this oil can do is reduce stress and help to relax your system. Not to mention the fact that if menstrual cramps are what’s keeping you up, some women say that rubbing some of the oil (add a carrier oil like sweet almond or avocado to the oil to dilute it a bit, please) to your abdominal region can provide quite a bit of relief.
10. Vetiver
Final one. In my opinion, it’s kind of surprising that vetiver essential oil isn’t mentioned more in the holistic care space. For starters, it has been celebrated for providing support for children with ADHD as well as decreasing nervousness and anxiety in adults. Some other ways that this oil can benefit you is it’s the kind of aphrodisiac that raises testosterone levels while lowering cortisol ones (cortisol is a stress hormone that’s in your body) which can intensify orgasms and promote great rest — and yes, it’s also mentioned quite often in the sleep-inducing space.
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You know, I once read that since 2010, the amount of people who rely on sleeping pills to get to sleep has pretty much doubled. Since the side effects of the long-term use of over-the-counter sedatives include things like headaches, muscle weakness, digestion issues, and even louder snoring and sleeplessness, consider trying one of these essential oils before popping a pill. As you can see, not only can certain oils help to lull you to sleep — but they can help in so many other areas too. Happy resting, chile.
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