So, now that the cat is out of the bag...I guess I can finally start talking about all the things I've been through in the last 3+ months. Pregnancy in itself is a blessing, you're bringing new life into this world, starting a family, entering into a new chapter in your life...blah blah blah all the pretty storybook sh-t, right? Right!
But what they DON'T TELL YOUR ASS is all that comes along with that beautiful bundle of joy baking in your oven. But I'll tell y'all and you know I keeps it all the way real! So, for my ladies who are looking to become moms, for those in their first few weeks, for the nosy folks that just wanna know what happens, and for mamas that want a laugh with a little trip down memory lane, I'm gonna walk your through what you can expect, and what's been going down over here!
In no particular order of f-ckery:
1.Breast and Back Acne
Never in my entire life have I ever "struggled" with acne. Of course, in college, I had the typical bump that would appear on my nose or cheek at the perfectly WRONG time and I would be embarrassed beyond belief.
But this pregnancy acne y'all, is no joke and in the most awkward places. I swear I woke up one day covered in bumps, across my shoulders, down my cleavage, up my back. It has since cleared up but for a good month, I felt like a Braille map smh.
2.Automatic Gag Reflexes
So, I know that depending on the person, gag reflexes are just a thing. It can appear when at the dentist and getting work done on back teeth, or even while at the doctor when they are trying to test if you have strep throat...normal things. But NOT when you are just trying to brush your teeth, walk outside, or into a restaurant!
When I tell you it was a legit struggle just to complete normal oral hygiene. I recall a day that I walked outside and could smell the harbor water that is close to my job, and almost tossed my cookies right then and there. Oh, and don't get me started on trying to walk into Chick-Fil-A (which I have not been able to enjoy since I've been pregnant) or Mission BBQ. I literally have to stop once I walk in the door and gather myself.
3.Itching Boobs
You will never know awkward until you are sitting at work, minding your business at your desk and BOOM, out of nowhere not only do your boobs feel like they are on fire, but you MUST scratch them.
I got out of my seat so damn quick and ran to the bathroom, just so I could scratch my boobs in peace. Then, calmly walked back to my seat like nothing ever happened.
4.Hot Flashes
Yup, hot flashes are not just for your 55 and older club anymore.
My AC in my house is set at a constant 68 degrees and I have a fan at my desk, while most people are cranking up their heaters because they claim the office is too cold.
5.Hating Your Partner
This one was honestly the worst for me. The entire first trimester, between feeling sick, uncomfortable, irritable, and downright emotional. I really just didn't want to be bothered by anyone and that included my bae.
By nature, I am a very lovey dovey person and I think my bae had gotten used to that in our time together, so when I all of a sudden stopped hugging, kissing, snuggling, and in general didn't want to be touched, I'm sure it threw him for a loop.
To sum it up, I was annoyed and he was annoying (he's really not though), which was cray because as soon as he would leave, I would want him to come back. Poor boo.
6.Sensitivity To Every Damn Thing
Bring on the tears!
Want to know the craziest thing I cried over so far? Bae made me noodles and the consistency of the sauce wasn't thick enough, so I cried. Moving on.
7.The Brown Tummy Line
To my shock, in the second month of pregnancy, there it was creeping up along my lower abdomen. While it's quite light right now, just seeing it start to appear made me think: Wow...I'm really pregnant.
8.Juicy Cooch
LMAO.
So yeah, due to the increased blood flow and uh, I'm sure a whole bunch of other biological things that are important for the baby, a side effect of being pregnant is an extra juicy cooch. It's a positive for dad if you ever let him touch you in the first trimester, possibly an annoyance for you. I'm sure this all comes in handy in the second trimester when your sex drive goes back up.
9.Huge Areolas
-___-
10. You'll Be Nauseous When You're Hungry
But then you're hungry because you're nauseous. This never-ending cycle has plagued my first few months. My body literally would get to a point where I was SO hungry (because I was not eating due to morning sickness) that it would force me into feeling sick even more! It's dumb, just dumb!
Biggest lesson here is, try to eat ladies, at least something.
11. Your Faves Ain't Your Faves
Y'all... As previously stated, I used to love Chick-Fil-A chicken, like really love. You could pretty much say that we were in a committed relationship.
But ever since baby has been on board (I hate that phrase by the way), I have not been able to eat any type of chicken unless it's cut up in teeny tiny pieces. Even worse, I'm having a super hard time with fried meat in general. So, I've been neglecting my nuggets and can't even stomach the idea of biting into a Chick-Fil-A sandwich. *cries*
What has this world come to?
12. Gas
At any given moment, I am so gassy that it hurts.
I've had to abandon the whole "girls don't fart" thing and bae has been getting courtside seats to every sound and smell. Completely embarrassing. At first, I would run to the other room or wait till he was sleep but at this point, I've given up all hope. Oh, especially when we are in the car because the pain is unbearable -- I do kindly roll down the window and motion my hands in the direction so air will flow out. Sidebar-- if you ever see me with a bump, it's probably just gas right now.
13. Heartburn
I had never had heartburn before, I was not even convinced that I would get it because I had never had it.
WRONG! That ish comes with a vengeance!! Biggest tip, don't eat and lay down. But even still, you may not be able to avoid it.
14. Memory Loss
Ask me any question and I promise you boo, I either won't be able to answer or will have a pretty hard time delivering the answer in a timely fashion.
I can't believe this early on I'm having issues with memory recall. No matter if it's normal conversation or even if I'm just going to type something into Google, I often find my mind completely blank when trying to think of what something is called or what I was about to look up. Sometimes I feel straight up dumb. Hopefully, I don't have to give any presentations at work anytime soon.
Pregnancy is a struggle y'all! I had no clue what to expect when I found out but never in a million years would I have ever thought all theses changes would come so soon.
The craziest thing though is that I'm completely ready for all the other unknown changes to sprout up, because that means I'm getting close to seeing my little one.
In the comments below, let me know if you are expecting or if you're already a momma, did you experience any of these changes? Which ones were your least fave? Did I miss anything you went through? And if you're not a mom yet, let me know yur thoughts on all these crazy changes. Are you ready?
This story was originally published on ThePrettyGirlsGuide.com.
Featured image by Shutterstock
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So, we handpicked one hundred It Girls who embody that palpable It Factor moving through us as young Black women, the kind of motion lighting up the world both IRL and across the internet.
It Girl 100 became xoNecole’s most successful program, with the hashtag organically reaching more than forty million impressions on Instagram in just twenty-four hours. Yes, it caught on like wildfire because we celebrated some of the most brilliant and influential GenZennial women of color setting trends and shaping culture. But more than that, it resonated because the women we celebrated felt seen.
Many were already known in their industries for keeping this generation fly and lit, but rarely received recognition or flowers. It Girl 100 became a safe space to be uplifted, and for us as Black women to bask in what felt like an era of our brilliance, beauty, and boundless influence on full display.
And then, almost overnight, it was as if the rug was pulled from under us as Black women, as the It Girls of the world.
Our much-needed, much-deserved season of ease and soft living quickly metamorphosed into a time of self-preservation and survival. Our motion and economic progression seemed strategically slowed, our light under siege.
The air feels heavier now. The headlines colder. Our Black girl magic is being picked apart and politicized for simply existing.
With that climate shift, as we prepare to launch our second annual It Girl 100 honoree list, our team has had to dig deep on the purpose and intention behind this year’s list. Knowing the spirit of It Girl 100 is about motion, sauce, strides, and progression, how do we celebrate amid uncertainty and collective grief when the juice feels like it is being squeezed out of us?
As we wrestled with that question, we were reminded that this tension isn’t new. Black women have always had to find joy in the midst of struggle, to create light even in the darkest corners. We have carried the weight of scrutiny for generations, expected to be strong, to serve, to smile through the sting. But this moment feels different. It feels deeply personal.
We are living at the intersection of liberation and backlash. We are learning to take off our capes, to say no when we are tired, to embrace softness without apology.
And somehow, the world has found new ways to punish us for it.
In lifestyle, women like Kayla Nicole and Ayesha Curry have been ridiculed for daring to choose themselves. Tracee Ellis Ross was labeled bitter for speaking her truth about love. Meghan Markle, still, cannot breathe without critique.
In politics, Kamala Harris, Letitia James, and Jasmine Crockett are dragged through the mud for standing tall in rooms not built for them.
In sports, Angel Reese, Coco Gauff, and Taylor Townsend have been reminded that even excellence will not shield you from racism or judgment.
In business, visionaries like Diarrha N’Diaye-Mbaye and Melissa Butler are fighting to keep their dreams alive in an economy that too often forgets us first.
Even our icons, Beyoncé, Serena, and SZA, have faced criticism simply for evolving beyond the boxes society tried to keep them in.
From everyday women to cultural phenoms, the pattern is the same. Our light is being tested.
And yet, somehow, through it all, we are still showing up as that girl, and that deserves to be celebrated.
Because while the world debates our worth, we keep raising our value. And that proof is all around us.
This year alone, Naomi Osaka returned from motherhood and mental health challenges to reach the semifinals of the US Open. A’ja Wilson claimed another MVP, reminding us that beauty and dominance can coexist. Brandy and Monica are snatching our edges on tour. Kahlana Barfield Brown sold out her new line in the face of a retailer that had been canceled. And Melissa Butler’s company, The Lip Bar, is projecting a forty percent surge in sales.
We are no longer defining strength by how much pain we can endure. We are defining it by the unbreakable light we continue to radiate.
We are the women walking our daily steps and also continuing to run solid businesses. We are growing in love, taking solo trips, laughing until it hurts, raising babies and ideas, drinking our green juice, and praying our peace back into existence.
We are rediscovering the joy of rest and realizing that softness is not weakness, it is strategy.
And through it all, we continue to lift one another. Emma Grede is creating seats at the table. Valeisha Butterfield has started a fund for jobless Black women. Arian Simone is leading in media with fearless conviction. We are pouring into each other in ways the world rarely sees but always feels.
So yes, we are in the midst of societal warfare. Yes, we are being tested. Yes, we are facing economic strain, political targeting, and public scrutiny. But even war cannot dim a light that is divinely ours.
And we are still shining.
And we are still softening.
And we are still creating.
And we are still It.
That is the quiet magic of Black womanhood, our ability to hold both truth and triumph in the same breath, to say yes, and to life’s contradictions.
It is no coincidence that this year, as SheaMoisture embraces the message “Yes, And,” they stand beside us as partners in celebrating this class of It Girls. Because that phrase, those two simple words, capture the very essence of this moment.
Yes, we are tired. And we are still rising.
Yes, we are questioned. And we are the answer.
Yes, we are bruised. And we are still beautiful.
This year’s It Girl 100 is more than a list. It is a love letter to every Black woman who dares to live out loud in a world that would rather she whisper. This year’s class is living proof of “Yes, And,” women who are finding ways to thrive and to heal, to build and to rest, to lead and to love, all at once.
It is proof that our joy is not naive, our success not accidental. It is the reminder that our light has never needed permission.
So without further ado, we celebrate the It Girl 100 Class of 2025–2026.
We celebrate the millions of us who keep doing it with grace, grit, and glory.
Because despite it all, we still shine.
Because we are still her.
Because we are still IT, girl.
Meet all 100 women shaping culture in the It Girl 100 Class of 2025. View the complete list of honorees here.
Featured image by xoStaff
It’s not like it has to be a bad thing. In fact, studies say that somewhere around 15 percent of engaged couples actually met through a friend. All I’m saying is, before you entertain someone’s “I’ve got someone I want you to meet” invitation, it would benefit you to interview them first — for the sake of all parties involved.
The questions that I recommend asking? The following six are what I think can get everyone on the same page, so that there is more pleasure than regret from the hook-up attempt.
1. Why Are They So Invested?
GiphyTwo things that I recently watched over again are the series Survivor’s Remorse (the writing is so damn good) and a movie called Trapped in Temptation (both are currently on Tubi). Something that both of them made me think about is the fact that motive reveals a lot when it comes to why people say and do the things that they do.
When it comes to the movie, specifically, without giving the film away — let me just say that, if you are in a relationship, be really careful about listening to individuals who try to talk you out of maintaining it. More times than not, the motive is shady as hell. And honestly, sometimes people who are close to obsessed with you being in one deserve a bit of side-eye too.
Now, if it’s someone who loves all things love, they are in love and they want you to experience something similar — that’s sweet. Just make sure that they are approaching the set up from a healthy space. What I mean by that is they don’t see singleness as some sort of relational handicap or they aren’t trying to override what you want for your life as if they somehow know better (there are so many ways to be a control freak, y’all).
Hmph. Now that I think about it — make sure that the set-up crew isn’t trying to use you to “save” some male friend or relative of theirs. I say that because I once knew a mother whose son had — count ‘em — 10 kids and she was FOREVER trying to get me to date him. Girl, that wasn’t for me. She was looking for a Holy Ghost Jr. for that child of hers. I’ll pass. HARD PASS.
Bottom line with this one — if someone wants to set you up with someone else, the first thing to ask is why? Make sure to really listen to what their answer is. Then pay attention to if your mind, body and spirit are at peace with their answer(s).
2. Do They Know What You Want?
GiphyI don’t know about y’all, but the people (and let’s be honest, by far, it’s usually women) who have tried to set me up with someone? They didn’t even know what my preferences or type was. Hell, they didn’t even know my thoughts or timeline as it relates to being in a serious relationship were either. And what that boils down to is they were trying to hook me up based on their agenda, not mine — and that usually meant that the guys who they came up with? Yeah…I was good on them. LOL.
Yeah, if someone wants to hook you up, you definitely should ask them if they know what you are looking for in a guy when it comes to his looks, personality, passions, spirituality, relational desires and goals, location, etc. Because, indeed, what is the point in going out with someone who is fine as hell and yet, you want kids and he doesn’t (or vice versa) or who has a great personality yet he isn’t even in the same ballpark of your spiritual beliefs?
If your friend really wants to help you out, valuing your time should come with that — and that means bringing someone into your life who complements your lifestyle. No wiggle room here.
3. Are They Aware of Your Deal-Breakers?
GiphyLast year, I wrote an article for the platform entitled, “Should Bad Sex Actually Be A Relationship Deal-Breaker?” The thing that I think needs to go on record about deal-breakers is they aren’t exactly standards that you have. No, a deal-breaker is something that can’t be worked out even after trying to negotiate or compromise. When it comes to relationships, a deal-breaker might be how long two people should date before becoming exclusive or getting engaged. Another deal-breaker might be if being religious is more important than being spiritual and how that manifests itself (church or no church, etc.). And yes, another deal-breaker may be what each other’s sexual needs and expectations are.
When someone is setting you up, it is imperative that they know about your standards. For instance, for me, I am not interested in dating a divorced person, pretty much ever (I Corinthians 7:10-11). I’ve had friends who have tried to hook me up with that demographic before and it has always been a moot effort. The fact that some of them have gotten frustrated with my convictions has absolutely nothing to do with me. Some have tried to get me to compromise my deal-breakers too — like a long-distance relationship. Is it a firm “naw”? No. However, it’s not really something that I am interested in, so why not just…recommend someone local?
Yeah, if someone thinks that they know you well enough to hook you up, they absolutely should be well-versed in what your deal-breakers are before they do. And if they’ve never asked, all they are doing is assuming — and we know what that typically means. LOL.
4. What Is Their Track Record?
GiphyIt’s kind of wild that we now live in a time when more couples meet online than they do through “old-fashioned ways” like via their friends (although some reports say that Gen Z is getting back to that) — and yet, here we are. Still, if you are willing to let someone play pseudo matchmaker in your life, you are well within your rights to inquire about their track record in that department. Have they hooked others up, successfully, before? Has any of their “Cupid work” caused both people to get exactly what they wanted out of the situation? If/when things went awry, why was that?
I know someone who is constantly trying to hook people up. Thing is, maybe 10-15 percent (no joke) of their efforts have proven to be positive and fruitful — and we’re talking about close to close to two decades of them doing it. Listen, time is too precious to be out here doing stuff ONLY to please other people. That said, if someone wants you to devote some time to one of their grand ideas, you are well within your rights to ask about their past and current success score when it comes to it.
5. Can They Keep Their Own Feelings Out of It?
GiphyWanna know if someone who is offering to do something for you is actually doing it more for themselves? If they try to make it be about them when things don’t go the way they would like, that is a dead ringer. An example? They post a message about you on social media and then question you about why you didn’t do the same thing in return. Another example? They do something for you and then throw it in your face during an argument. Still another example? They set you up with someone, it doesn’t work out, and suddenly you’ve put them in a weird spot. No dear — you put your own self in that position by trying to hook two people up in the first place.
I promise you, it will spare everyone unnecessary energy spent (or even drama experienced) if, before you agree to be hooked up, you get the matchmaker on record stating that they will keep their emotions out of it as much as possible. MEANING — they will do the introductions and then let the chips fall where they may. If they can’t do this, my two cents (save it or spend it) would be to decline the offer. Because all you need is someone texting you about why you haven’t called their cousin back or having an attitude with you when you break up with some guy at their church who they thought was the perfect catch (P.S. These aren’t hypothetical examples — LOL).
6. Will They Respect Your Boundaries? Start to Finish?
GiphyYeah, this final one is a biggie. Just because someone sets you up with another person, that doesn’t automatically or necessarily mean that they should have the right to the details of the dynamic. I don’t care if it’s the first date or the 10th date. I don’t care if you decide to just be sex buddies or to have a full-blown relationship. I don’t care if you stay together or break-up — it’s your relationship which makes it your business. Whatever you share is privileged data.
Yeah, I would say that probably the most challenging thing about being hooked up by someone you know is they have a tendency to think that they are a part of the relationship too — and that is a lie. If things go well beyond a couple of dates, you and the guy should discuss what you will both share with the person who introduced you and then agree to stick to that boundary, no matter what. It’s a great way to protect the dynamic, to keep “outside voices” from influencing the growth and to navigate how you want to move, moving forward.
Someone who hooked you up for the right reasons and knows how to honor limits? They will understand. Will they ask questions? Absolutely. Will they pry? Nah.
___
Should you sit and let someone hook you up? I mean, you never know how your blessing will come. Just make sure that they are prepared for you to do some digging into their mindset before they start sweetly meddling into your love life.
It’s only fair. Hell, and right. LOL.
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