So, now that the cat is out of the bag...I guess I can finally start talking about all the things I've been through in the last 3+ months. Pregnancy in itself is a blessing, you're bringing new life into this world, starting a family, entering into a new chapter in your life...blah blah blah all the pretty storybook sh-t, right? Right!
But what they DON'T TELL YOUR ASS is all that comes along with that beautiful bundle of joy baking in your oven. But I'll tell y'all and you know I keeps it all the way real! So, for my ladies who are looking to become moms, for those in their first few weeks, for the nosy folks that just wanna know what happens, and for mamas that want a laugh with a little trip down memory lane, I'm gonna walk your through what you can expect, and what's been going down over here!
In no particular order of f-ckery:
1.Breast and Back Acne
Never in my entire life have I ever "struggled" with acne. Of course, in college, I had the typical bump that would appear on my nose or cheek at the perfectly WRONG time and I would be embarrassed beyond belief.
But this pregnancy acne y'all, is no joke and in the most awkward places. I swear I woke up one day covered in bumps, across my shoulders, down my cleavage, up my back. It has since cleared up but for a good month, I felt like a Braille map smh.
2.Automatic Gag Reflexes
So, I know that depending on the person, gag reflexes are just a thing. It can appear when at the dentist and getting work done on back teeth, or even while at the doctor when they are trying to test if you have strep throat...normal things. But NOT when you are just trying to brush your teeth, walk outside, or into a restaurant!
When I tell you it was a legit struggle just to complete normal oral hygiene. I recall a day that I walked outside and could smell the harbor water that is close to my job, and almost tossed my cookies right then and there. Oh, and don't get me started on trying to walk into Chick-Fil-A (which I have not been able to enjoy since I've been pregnant) or Mission BBQ. I literally have to stop once I walk in the door and gather myself.
3.Itching Boobs
You will never know awkward until you are sitting at work, minding your business at your desk and BOOM, out of nowhere not only do your boobs feel like they are on fire, but you MUST scratch them.
I got out of my seat so damn quick and ran to the bathroom, just so I could scratch my boobs in peace. Then, calmly walked back to my seat like nothing ever happened.
4.Hot Flashes
Yup, hot flashes are not just for your 55 and older club anymore.
My AC in my house is set at a constant 68 degrees and I have a fan at my desk, while most people are cranking up their heaters because they claim the office is too cold.
5.Hating Your Partner
This one was honestly the worst for me. The entire first trimester, between feeling sick, uncomfortable, irritable, and downright emotional. I really just didn't want to be bothered by anyone and that included my bae.
By nature, I am a very lovey dovey person and I think my bae had gotten used to that in our time together, so when I all of a sudden stopped hugging, kissing, snuggling, and in general didn't want to be touched, I'm sure it threw him for a loop.
To sum it up, I was annoyed and he was annoying (he's really not though), which was cray because as soon as he would leave, I would want him to come back. Poor boo.
6.Sensitivity To Every Damn Thing
Bring on the tears!
Want to know the craziest thing I cried over so far? Bae made me noodles and the consistency of the sauce wasn't thick enough, so I cried. Moving on.
7.The Brown Tummy Line
To my shock, in the second month of pregnancy, there it was creeping up along my lower abdomen. While it's quite light right now, just seeing it start to appear made me think: Wow...I'm really pregnant.
8.Juicy Cooch
LMAO.
So yeah, due to the increased blood flow and uh, I'm sure a whole bunch of other biological things that are important for the baby, a side effect of being pregnant is an extra juicy cooch. It's a positive for dad if you ever let him touch you in the first trimester, possibly an annoyance for you. I'm sure this all comes in handy in the second trimester when your sex drive goes back up.
9.Huge Areolas
-___-
10. You'll Be Nauseous When You're Hungry
But then you're hungry because you're nauseous. This never-ending cycle has plagued my first few months. My body literally would get to a point where I was SO hungry (because I was not eating due to morning sickness) that it would force me into feeling sick even more! It's dumb, just dumb!
Biggest lesson here is, try to eat ladies, at least something.
11. Your Faves Ain't Your Faves
Y'all... As previously stated, I used to love Chick-Fil-A chicken, like really love. You could pretty much say that we were in a committed relationship.
But ever since baby has been on board (I hate that phrase by the way), I have not been able to eat any type of chicken unless it's cut up in teeny tiny pieces. Even worse, I'm having a super hard time with fried meat in general. So, I've been neglecting my nuggets and can't even stomach the idea of biting into a Chick-Fil-A sandwich. *cries*
What has this world come to?
12. Gas
At any given moment, I am so gassy that it hurts.
I've had to abandon the whole "girls don't fart" thing and bae has been getting courtside seats to every sound and smell. Completely embarrassing. At first, I would run to the other room or wait till he was sleep but at this point, I've given up all hope. Oh, especially when we are in the car because the pain is unbearable -- I do kindly roll down the window and motion my hands in the direction so air will flow out. Sidebar-- if you ever see me with a bump, it's probably just gas right now.
13. Heartburn
I had never had heartburn before, I was not even convinced that I would get it because I had never had it.
WRONG! That ish comes with a vengeance!! Biggest tip, don't eat and lay down. But even still, you may not be able to avoid it.
14. Memory Loss
Ask me any question and I promise you boo, I either won't be able to answer or will have a pretty hard time delivering the answer in a timely fashion.
I can't believe this early on I'm having issues with memory recall. No matter if it's normal conversation or even if I'm just going to type something into Google, I often find my mind completely blank when trying to think of what something is called or what I was about to look up. Sometimes I feel straight up dumb. Hopefully, I don't have to give any presentations at work anytime soon.
Pregnancy is a struggle y'all! I had no clue what to expect when I found out but never in a million years would I have ever thought all theses changes would come so soon.
The craziest thing though is that I'm completely ready for all the other unknown changes to sprout up, because that means I'm getting close to seeing my little one.
In the comments below, let me know if you are expecting or if you're already a momma, did you experience any of these changes? Which ones were your least fave? Did I miss anything you went through? And if you're not a mom yet, let me know yur thoughts on all these crazy changes. Are you ready?
This story was originally published on ThePrettyGirlsGuide.com.
Featured image by Shutterstock
RELATED
Kayla Nicole says she wore a dress that was once worn by Braxton herself for the Halloween costume. “It’s not a secret Toni is more on the petite side. I’m obsessed with all 5’2” of her,” she tells xoNecole via email. “But I’m 5’10'' and not missing any meals, honey, so to my surprise, when I got the dress and it actually fit, I knew it was destiny.”
The episode was the perfect way for the multihyphenate to take control of her own narrative. By addressing the viral moment on her own platform, she was able to stir the conversation and keep the focus on her adoration for Braxton, an artist she says she grew up listening to and who still makes her most-played playlist every year. Elsewhere, she likely would’ve received questions about whether or not the costume was a subliminal aimed at her ex-boyfriend and his pop star fiancée. “I think that people will try to project their own narratives, right?” she said, hinting at this in the episode. “But, for me personally – I think it’s very important to say this in this moment – I’m not in the business of tearing other women down. I’m in the business of celebrating them.”
Kayla Nicole is among xoNecole’s It Girl 100 Class of 2025, powered by SheaMoisture, recognized in the Viral Voices category for her work in media and the trends she sets on our timelines, all while prioritizing her own mental and physical health. As she puts it: “Yes, I’m curating conversations on my podcast The Pre-Game, and cultivating community with my wellness brand Tribe Therepē.”
Despite being the frequent topic of conversation online, Kayla Nicole says she’s learning to take advantage of her growing social media platform without becoming consumed by it. “I refuse to let the internet consume me. It’s supposed to be a resource and tool for connection, so if it becomes anything beyond that I will log out,” she says.
On The Pre-Game, which launched earlier this year, she has positioned herself as listeners “homegirl.” “There’s definitely a delicate dance between being genuine and oversharing, and I’ve had to learn that the hard way. Now I share from a place of reflection, not reaction,” she says. “If it can help someone feel seen or less alone, I’ll talk about it within reason. But I’ve certainly learned to protect parts of my life that I cherish most. I share what serves connection but doesn’t cost me peace.
"I refuse to let the internet consume me. It’s supposed to be a resource and tool for connection, so if it becomes anything beyond that I will log out."
Credit: Malcolm Roberson
Throughout each episode, she sips a cocktail and addresses trending topics (even when they involve herself). It’s a platform the Pepperdine University alumnus has been preparing to have since she graduated with a degree in broadcast journalism, with a concentration in political science.
“I just knew I was going to end up on a local news network at the head anchor table, breaking high speed chases, and tossing it to the weather girl,” she says. Instead, she ended up working as an assistant at TMZ before covering sports as a freelance reporter. (She’s said she didn’t work for ESPN, despite previous reports saying otherwise.) The Pre-Game combines her love for pop culture and sports in a way that once felt inaccessible to her in traditional media.
She’s not just a podcaster, though. When she’s not behind the mic, taking acting classes or making her New York Fashion Week debut, Kayla Nicole is also busy elevating her wellness brand Tribe Therepē, where she shares her workouts and the workout equipment that helps her look chic while staying fit. She says the brand will add apparel to its line up in early 2026.
“Tribe Therepē has evolved into exactly what I have always envisioned. A community of women who care about being fit not just for the aesthetic, but for their mental and emotional well-being too. It’s grounded. It’s feminine. It’s strong,” she says. “And honestly, it's a reflection of where I am in my life right now. I feel so damn good - mentally, emotionally, and physically. And I am grateful to be in a space where I can pour that love and light back into the community that continues to pour into me.”
Tap into the full It Girl 100 Class of 2025 and meet all the women changing game this year and beyond. See the full list here.
Featured image by Malcolm Roberson
Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
___
Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Shutterstock