As far as HBO's Insecure goes, I've come to accept that we only get eight, 30-minute episodes of fun-f*ckery. And although it still doesn't feel like quite enough time to catch up on the lives of our four favorite girlfriends (Issa, Kelli, Tiffany, and Molly), they show us a damn good time with their lit antics each episode.
We've witnessed things get litty everywhere from Kiss 'n' Grind to the Party Lyft that Issa hosted on the clock of her part-time job and, lowkey, we want in (I'm just saying). True to form, the girls can't have a good night without it ending in food. If it's not that, then there are lunch dates, brunch dates, and date-dates that take us into the foodie world of Los Angeles.
For me personally, food is the culture. There's hardly anything I prefer more than a good food spot, which brings us here: to the dope list of Issa Dee-approved LA food joints that Issa Rae oh-so-casually name-drops from time to time.
Some places are more eventful than others, but as someone who likes to pretend I'm a part of Issa, Kelli, Molly, and Tiffany's squad, they're all relevant. If you aren't fortunate enough to live in LA, like myself, these are the places you'll want to hit up on your way to The Dunes for your impromptu photoshoot.
1. Worldwide Tacos
HBO's Insecure
As we see Issa working towards living her better life (not yet the best one) in the opening episodes of season three, she's finally moving out of her "hoetation", or rebound phase, and looking for things that are generally more fulfilling, including but not limited to the men she entertains.
So you can imagine our excitement when Lyft Bae, Nathan, interrupted Issa in the midst of her BBQ Salmon Tacos from Worldwide. Yeah, we looked past the fact that he startled Issa into dropping her meal on the ground and we did it before he even offered to buy a new one. Although we were supposed to be watching Issa learn with the mantra "know better, do better" -- what actually happened is, a world full of women realized that we can't help but love a project! We saw potential signs of f*ckboy written all over Nathan and we went all in anyways, and then proceeded to make excuses for him. And to think, it all started over tacos!
Worldwide is a walk-up, window type of move so no need to get fancy, but save room for the top-notch choices.
2. Porto's Bakery
In season three as Molly uses baked goods as a decoy for Asian Bae while Issa stalked his roommate, we learned that they both still have quite some way to go before they've fully worked through their issues. But in the meantime, they're a dream team...and Porto's is the move.
3. Swingers Diner
HBO's Insecure
It's not necessary for me to go into details, but Swingers was the restaurant where Kelli famously got fingered under the table by "sweetie" after season two's epic Kiss 'n' Grind event. Furthermore, this is the first time Issa and Daniel really, truly reconnect since he stormed out of her charity event in season one.
4. Merkato Ethiopian Restaurant Market
HBO's Insecure
Consider this Ethiopian restaurant the catalyst meal for everything that has since transpired. Here Molly put her "broken pussy" into the Universe as the first step towards repairing both it and her issues surrounding men. The same night, Issa put her broken relationship out there, as a birthday wish (on her 29th) — hoping that she could find the passion she had been lacking in her long-term relationship with her now ex, Lawrence. Since this scene. Hell, since this season, we've seen so much growth from the two, especially leading up to Issa's most recent birthday — the dirty-thirty — during the season three finale.
Experience the best of authentic Ethiopian cuisine in LA's "Little Ethiopia".
5. Roscoe's House of Chicken and Waffles
HBO's Insecure
The show couldn't truly pay homage to Los Angeles without putting Roscoe's in the mix. It's an LA fried chicken staple and any TV show set in LA worthy of an iconic title knows that it's mandatory to mention Roscoe's. I mean seriously, was there a time Toni Child's wasn't mentioning Roscoe's in the hit series Girlfriends? And of course, Molly's black counterpart in the Chicago office knows this when he asks Molly to send him some of their "slap yo mama" style soul food.
It's no secret that Roscoe's is known for the chicken and waffles, and although there are multiple locations, this one is probably the original.
6. Big Man Bakes Cupcakes
Before the debate of whether Molly's childhood friend Alejandro was in an ethical non-monogamous relationship, there was only the question of the caramel or chocolate flavor from Molly's favorite cupcake shop.
It's at the cupcake shop where we are first introduced to Dro and his wife for the first time. Perhaps the bakery scene was a metaphor for how things were going to be sweet and tasty before they got super messy between Molly and Dro (hello season three). Either way, we're not here to decipher that today — just letting you know that you can have the best of both worlds if you hit up Big Man's for any number of these delicious-sounding cupcakes.
7. Astro Burgers
HBO's Insecure
In season two, we watch painfully as Issa's life continues to unravel post-breakup in the drive-thru of a fast food spot. She's experiencing the holy trinity of problems as she searches for purpose in the pursuit of her career, boy troubles, and likely the itis from a double cheeseburger meal.
8. El Compadre
HBO's Insecure
Excited to have a friend of color within the firm, Molly takes Quentin out on the town during his visit to the LA office. Although Lawrence had already told us he wasn't willing to reconcile with Issa, it wasn't until Molly bumps into him at this little spot that we're all forced to move past the hopeful thought that Issa and Lawrence stand a chance despite it all. El Compadre takes us to the the climactic point of Issa's life forcing us all to realize, it's time for her to throw her big girl panties on and move along.
10. Earle's Grill
Earle's is a hotdog spot that Issa recommends Molly take Quentin to in order to keep him holed up in the friend zone, but we know that by the end of season two, in a fit of desperation to prove she's open to love and not what love "should be", she sexes him anyways.
Earle's dogs cater to vegan folks, making it a top notch choice.
11. Brolly Hut
Getting pastrami tacos without Issa in season two may have very well been Daniel's way of establishing their relationship as a hookup and proving to Issa he wasn't in his feelings. Yet, I feel the only real thing it accomplished was delivering cravings nationwide because who's mouth doesn't water at the sound of pastrami in tacos with all the works?
12. Stuff I Eat
HBO's Insecure
Chef Babette of Stuff I Eat
In the season three finale, we see Issa coming into her faith but before that wholly happens she fills up on a hearty meal and self-doubt at Stuff I Eat, a vegan soul food restaurant. Nonetheless, she begins having this come to Jesus moment while she and Molly are eating and really, so do we. Here we get a full view of Molly's negativity rearing its ugly head as she adds to Issa's insecurity and I think Issa begins to understand the full scope of her BFF's negativity as well.
Featured image via Insecure/HBO
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Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
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Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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If, while on your continual journey to get the best out of your own tresses, you’d like to learn how to get them healthier than it’s ever been, I’ve got seven acids that are typically known for skin use that can be just as beneficial to your hair as well.
1. Salicylic Acid
When it comes to your skin, salicylic acid is beta-hydroxy acid that is great for your skin if you’re looking for something that will exfoliate it, clear out your pores and dissolve dead skin cells. In fact, this is why it’s an acid that is quite popular when it comes to treating acne.
Your hair will enjoy salicylic acid because, if you’re looking to remove product build-up, you want to soothe an itchy or irritated scalp or you’ve got some dandruff flakes that are totally driving you up the wall, salicylic acid has the ability to treat all of this. Either purchasing a shampoo that contains this ingredient or adding it to your favorite scalp scrub is probably the most effective way to get the most out of it.
Just make sure that if your scalp is sensitive or dry that you approach with caution. In these instances, it could end up irritating your scalp more than helping it out, so use a very little bit in the beginning to make sure that it vibes with you.
2. Lactic Acid
Lactic acid is an alpha hydroxy acid that can help to even out your skin tone as well as slow down the signs of aging. The properties in it help to do this by reducing hyperpigmentation and boosting collagen production in your skin as well as keeping it hydrated.
Why is it great for your locks? For one thing, lactic acid is considered to be a humectant. This means that it pulls water from the air so that your hair is able to remain moisturized.
Another thing that makes it a winner is the fact that lactic acid breaks down dead skin cells on your scalp (so that your hair follicles are able to flourish), it can help to soften and detangle your hair (making it a helpful addition on your wash days) and it also helps to protect your tresses from heat styling tools and UV damage. Applying a hair rinse that’s made up of part lactic acid and part water can work wonderfully (so long as you apply it once a month, tops; more than that might be too “intense” for your hair strands).
3. Glycolic Acid
Glycolic acid is a water-soluble alpha hydroxy acid that is actually made from sugar. Your skin will adore it because it smooths the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles, improves the texture of your skin, gently exfoliates, clears your pores and brightens up your complexion overall.
The reasons why you should consider this acid for your hair is because it helps to keep your scalp youthful (and yes, there is such a thing; check out “Your Scalp Ages Six Times Faster Than Your Face. Why It Matters.”), removes excess sebum (that could be clogging up your hair follicles) and it helps to keep your hair moisturized. Your best bet here is to make it a part of your pre-shampooing ritual.
4. Succinic Acid
Succinic acid is an acid that is made from sugar cane and contains antimicrobial and anti-inflammatory properties. Although it doesn’t exactly exfoliate (like many of these other acids do), it can still be beneficial to your skin when it comes to reducing the kind of irritation that is associated with eczema, decreasing the bacteria that leads to breakouts and keeping your skin pretty hydrated.
As far as your hair goes, this is an acid that is worth trying out because it helps to balance the sebum that is on your scalp, remove dead skin and product build-up that can irritate your scalp and clog your hair follicles and, succinic acid is also beneficial when it comes to reducing dandruff and helping to prevent hair loss. Most people tend to apply this as a serum.
5. Hyaluronic Acid
I’ve officially sung the praises of hyaluronic acid on this platform before. One example is via the article, “Why Your Skin, Hair, And Nails Need Hyaluronic Acid Like...Yesterday.” On the skin tip, hyaluronic acid is great because it deeply hydrates your skin, contains anti-aging properties and can even bring relief to vaginal (including vulvar) dryness.
Your hair will adore this particular acid because it aids moisture to it (including your hair follicles), will help to improve your hair’s texture and it also soothes scalp dryness, nurtures the cuticles of your tresses and decreases frizz. Using a serum rich in this acid as a pre-poo or as a leave-in conditioner is recommended.
6. Azelaic Acid
If you’ve never heard of azelaic acid before, this is your lucky day. It’s a dicarboxylic acid that, when it comes to skincare (and hair care) products, is usually synthetic. Anyway, if you are looking for a way to reduce inflammation, even skin tone after a breakout or if you want to use an exfoliant that will improve the texture of your skin overtime, you might want to give this acid a shot.
This one makes the list as far as your hair is concerned because, if achieving more inches is your current focus, azelaic acid might come in handy. That’s because it is able to strengthen your hair, thicken your strands and also stimulate hair growth from within your hair follicles.
7. Glutamic Acid
Glutamic acid is actually a type of amino acid. Skin-wise, it’s great for deeply hydrating your skin as well as protecting it from pollutants and damaging UV rays. Also, if you’re looking for an acid that treats skin dryness or “tightness,” this could be the answer to your prayers.
Since glutamic acid is also considered to be a humectant, it’s another acid that can moisturize your hair. As a result, it can decrease breakage while helping your hair to feel smooth and look shiny.
BONUS: Amino Acids
Speaking of amino acids and hair, please try to keep some amino acids in your diet at all times. The reason why is because, since your hair is made up of mostly protein (keratin, to be exact), amino acids are pretty darn effective when it comes to helping you to maintain the overall health and well-being of your hair.
Ones to prioritize include proline (it boosts collagen so that your hair strands can maintain flexibility); arginine (it increases blood flow to your hair follicles so that they can receive the nutrients that they need); cysteine (it helps to keep your hair follicles healthy); alanine (it helps your system to produce more collagen), and isoleucine (it strengthens the tissues that help to make up your hair strands). All of these are available in supplement form or you can use Google to see which foods contain them.
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Although it might initially seem odd to apply acid to your hair, as you can see, certain ones will work miracles for it. So, test them out to see which one tickles your fancy.
Hell, since they work for your skin as well — it’s a two-for-one deal that is worth every penny!
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