I don't know about you but I was real clueless when I got into the workforce and was asked if I wanted to contribute to a 401K.
Before making a decision, I had a little conversation with myself in my head that went a little something like this:
"What the heck is a 401K?"
"That sounds real shady."
"It's gonna be coming out of my paycheck? Nah, I need ALL of my hard earned coins!"
"Well I guess I should sign up for it because they say they're gonna match me. What's the worst that can possibly happen here?"
I know I'm not the only one who has had a similar convo with themselves. I wasn't even thinking about no retirement, I was fresh out of school and simply trying to gain some real life experience and look fly while doing so. I was focused on what was going on in my world that day, that week, that month.
Nah, 30 to 40 years down the line didn't exist to me.
I ultimately ended up putting a good chunk of money into my 401K while at my first job, but when hard times hit a few years later, I was up against a wall and had no choice but to pull all of my money out. There I was with no savings, just like that. I didn't know any better though. Fast forward a few years, I started learning more and more about retirement planning and the different types of Individual Retirement Accounts (IRAs) and having real life conversations with my peers about it.
Shamese CampbellThe General Ledger Group
When I heard Shamese Campbell of The General Ledger Group tell her story, it struck a chord in me. Imagine making millions and millions of dollars as a boss babe business owner, traveling all around the world, and living the high life for years and years, but now being in retirement age with absolutely nothing to show for it.
This is Campbell's 82-year-old grandmother's reality. When business was booming, she was so focused on the "here and now" that she didn't think to plan for retirement. "We don't think about these things when we're young," Campbell said.
In the age of boss babes and Girl CEOs everywhere, it's especially important to ensure that the money you're bringing in while hustling has an assignment. "Everyone's always so focused on securing the bag that they're not even thinking about managing it and putting it aside for the future," she continued.
When you work for yourself, you have to make sure that you don't lose sight of retirement planning. Just because you may not have access to an employer sponsored 401K plan, doesn't mean that you can't contribute. You can take advantage of an IRA and set it up to where you're contributing the maximum amount each year ($5,500) so that you can earn more on your investment. This will allow you to ensure that you're gonna actually be able to enjoy the fruits of your labor over the years once you're ready to throw in the towel.
There's two common types of IRAs: Traditional and Roth. The difference between the two is that with a Traditional IRA, you're getting a slight tax break because you're putting pre-tax dollars into it. When it's time to withdraw, you'll get taxed on it. With a Roth IRA, it allows you to invest with after-tax dollars so that when it's time to pull from it, it's completely tax free. The unfortunate truth is this though: retirement seems so far away for so many millennials and, as a result, they are either not saving at all for it or not saving enough.
The General Ledger Group
It's a foreign concept for those who were never educated on the importance of retirement planning.
The whole point of retiring is so that you won't have to work anymore. Campbell says that, "If you have to get a job after retirement, then you've done something wrong along the way."
That's why we see so many older people working jobs these days. Not because they necessarily want to, but because they have to in order to survive. Think about it: do you want to be standing in front of a Wal-Mart greeting people when you're 70 years old? If your answer is "no," then it's time to really shift your mindset and start thinking about and planning for your FUTURE SELF.
Wherever you are in your workforce journey, it's never too late to start pouring into your future. Here's a few ways that you can ensure a happy and thriving retirement for yourself.
Make it a priority.
It's sad to see how we work every single day for so many years and end up broke, busted, and disgusted at the end of it all. That's because we're so conditioned to go to work in order to pay bills. Campbell says that you should be making it a priority to pay yourself first before doing anything else. Regardless of how much you're putting in, it's imperative to be contributing something. Start small if necessary and increase your contributions over time. You also gotta make sure that you're disciplined enough to not pull from it like I did when things got a bit rough.
Know where you are to know where you're going.
A lot of times, people don't know how much it truly costs to live the life that they live or even how to calculate their financial independence number. You have to have an idea of how much money you even need in order to retire comfortably and maintain your standard of living or better. Additionally, you have to take into account inflation over the years. Ask yourself this: With how much you're contributing currently, is your future self gonna be good or nah?
Sit down with someone.
Regardless of whether you're an entrepreneur or work a traditional 9-5, you should be sitting down with a professional to discuss your options and create a plan that will allow you to live the life you desire after retirement. You should also meet with them multiple times over the years to make changes to your contributions as needed. You do not need to figure it all out on your own, that's why there are qualified people who are willing and ready to help you get the most bang for your buck.
Campbell says that you should be planning for the future so that the future can take care of you. If you're not looking out for you, then who will? Make yourself a priority and do what's necessary TODAY so that you can live your best life TOMORROW.
Featured image courtesy of The General Ledger Group
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Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
___
Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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Featured image by Shutterstock
Using the same material from the interior of the Volvo EX90, Hudson crafted a wool-blend car coat and waistbelt that combine the vehicle’s Scandinavian design with his signature tailoring and intention. The exclusive collection launched on October 20, and each piece is made-to-order by Sergio Hudson Collections.
Courtesy
In October, I traveled to Charleston with a group of journalists to get a firsthand look at Hudson and Volvo’s location. During a fitting, Hudson said his goal is to make “great work that can stand the test of time.”
“People can look back on and say, ‘I remember when Sergio did that collaboration with Volvo,’” he continued. “Thinking about aligning yourself with classic brands that speak to where you want to go. And I think that's what this collaboration kind of means to me and my business.”
Hudson pinpoints his mom as the biggest influence for his designs. This collaboration was no different.
“This particular coat reminded me of the swing coats that my mom used to wear in the early 90s. You know, diva girls in the early 90s had Sandra suits,” he said, referring to Jackée Harry’s character in 227. “My mom wore those and she would have these matching swing coats to go over them. And that's where the initial idea came. This would be around the same time that we had our Volvo. So she would put on her suit, her swing coat, get in that red Volvo, and go to church.”
Courtesy
With this capsule and beyond, Hudson wants to see more staples rotating in and out of closets this fall. He advises fashionistas to build her closet out with essentials to mix and match that aren’t just stylish but also sustainable.
“It's just those special pieces,” he said. “You can wear the same shirt and pants every day and nobody will notice. But if you have a special boot, a special coat, a special bill, a special bag, that kind of speaks to everything that your style stands about, that is something you should focus on.”
These are the same kind of staple pieces that return to our Pinterest boards and TikTok feeds season after season. Fast fashion has never been Hudson’s aim. “I'm trying to create a special pieces that can stand the test of time,” he said in his warm, Southern accent. “I'm only creating those kind of pieces from here on out.”
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For Hudson, this collaboration is revolutionary. It’s his first time working with a car company and experimenting outside of his wheelhouse in this way.
“This is a Scandinavian brand, and, you know, it's 70 years old. I'm an African-American boy from South Carolina that has had a brand for 10 years. So I think bridging those two worlds and seeing the similarities was the beauty of this project,” he explained.
Though Hudson and his partner and CEO of Sergio Hudson Collections Inga Beckham have made massive strides in just 10 years, Hudson said the industry is far from where he wants to see it when it comes to Black representation. He pointed to how few Black designers were at this year’s Met Gala despite the theme being Black dandyism.
“The fact that I dressed 18 people speaks to how many of us weren't there,” he said. He implored more of industries, fashion and beyond, to collaborate with Black designers often.
“Allow mentorship. Allow funding. Allow great design to shine through,” he implored. “When it comes to being a designer of African descent, when you can't get the funding that your counterparts have, you can't compete. When you get opportunities like doing a collaboration with Volvo, or you get opportunities to be at the Met Gala, that's putting us on the equal playing field, but really the funding behind it is what we need to take it to that desk level.”
Featured image courtesy