Guys Sometimes Get Blue Balls. Women? Blue Vulva.

Let’s Explore Blue Balls for a Sec…

Until I went to college, I attended Christian-based private schools where I was lucky to see more than three Black people in any one of my classes at any given time (and I’m not kidding). So, when it comes to the topic of blue balls, chile — thanks to the incessant yapping of white boys, it almost feels like I heard the term (and generally what it was all about) on a daily basis. What I didn’t know — until I got good and grown, that is — is that there are a couple of scientific facts about blue balls that those guys in middle school and high school never brought up (at least in my presence).

For starters, the technical term for blue balls is epididymal hypertension. It’s called that because what actually causes blue balls is, when a guy is sexually aroused for a long period of time and he doesn’t ejaculate, fluid can build up in his testicles which can lead to heaviness and/or numbness and/or an achy sensation and/or real discomfort or even pain. For how long? Usually, blue balls will last for several minutes to an hour max, although there have been reports of men struggling with it for days or even weeks at a time (ouch).

Something else that should go on record is when blue balls transpire, a guy’s testicles (no matter what his complexion may be) do not actually turn blue (if that happens, he needs to hit up his doctor ASAP). So, what I’m thinking is that the “blue” in blue balls (mostly) comes from how a guy feels if he thought that he was gonna get some and he, well, didn’t.

And just how are blue balls treated? I’m thinking that masturbation would be an obvious answer and alternative although he can also do things like take bath, exercise or even urinate. And, in the meantime, popping one or two ibuprofens is a good idea as well.

When it comes to blue balls, perhaps the most important thing to remember is although they certainly aren’t the most pleasant experience in the world, they aren’t dangerous and they do indeed pass.

Same thing goes for blue vulvas — and yes, I will explain what the heck those are all about next.

Aight, So What Is a Blue Vulva Then?

If you’ve been reading some of my vagina-related content over the past several months, you may have noticed that I’ve been doing my best to distinguish the difference between our vaginas and our vulvas (check out “10 Facts About Your Vulva That Will Trip You Right On Out”).

The main reason is because — well, it’s kind of like the difference between jealousy and envy: the words may be similar in definition yet they aren’t exactly the same because their functions are different (by the way, jealousy is when you feel threatened about someone taking something of yours while envy is about wanting what someone else has). That said, your vagina is the inner muscular tube that connects your cervix (the opening of your uterus) to your vulva and your vulva is the outer part of your vagina (where your labia and clitoris are).

It's important to keep this in mind because blue vulva doesn’t really happen to your vagina; it happens to the outer part of it: your vulva. When the erectile tissue that your clitoris fills up with blood and you’re not able to release it through an orgasm — what you end up with is yep, you guessed it: a blue vulva.

What’s wild about this when it happens to women is the discomfort can actually radiate throughout your genitalia and even towards your butt. Why? Well, it’s always important to remember that your clitoris doesn’t just consist of what you see on the outside; it’s several inches within your body too. So, if it feels “backed up,” you may feel it in a few different places and on a few different levels from mild achiness to pain and even redness around your vulva. Not only that but because you haven’t released all of that built-up sexual tension, you could also still feel somewhat aroused in the mix of all of this. Goodness.

Anyway, the moment that I learned about the blue vulva, I knew that it needed to be shared, en masse. The main reason is because there are probably times when you either are engaging in sexual activity of some sort and aren’t ready to “take it there” or you are in the midst of…something (LOL), you can’t seem to cum and it causes you to not feel very great — although you can’t quite put your finger on why. Well, now that I’ve explained what blue vulva is all about, perhaps you can connect a few dots (did you?).

If you do believe that you’ve experienced having a blue vulva before, just like the fellas have hacks to feel better, so do we.

How to Get Relief from Blue Vulva

So, your vulva isn’t feeling the best and you sense that it’s blue vulva-related. What should you do?

Have an orgasm. The one thing that blue balls and blue vulvas have in common is they are ultimately the result of built-up sexual tension. And so yes, the most obvious (and probably pleasurable) way to “get free” from either “blue thing” is to have an orgasm. It doesn’t matter how you make it happen, so long as you do.

Take a cold shower. I actually chuckled when I read this tip because it’s usually the guys who are told to take a cold shower when they want to cum (with someone) and can’t. However, the method to the madness for us is cold water can help to restrict the blood flow to your genitalia which ultimately can decrease the discomfort.

Apply a cold compress. Along the same lines with a cold shower, you can also apply a cold compress. It’s a quick and convenient way to slow down the blood flow and reduce any swelling that your vulva may be experiencing at the same time.

Take a nap. Wanting to release sexual tension without being able to is stressful as hell. Something that can calm you down? Taking a power nap. It will physically reduce your stress levels while mentally resting your mind — and since your brain is your largest sex organ…well.

Do something non-sexual. Distracting yourself is another way to help blue vulvas to pass. Watch a movie. Talk to someone on the phone. Go for a walk. Do something — damn near anything — that doesn’t have to do with sex (or thinking about sex), so that your body can move out of arousal and into “regular life mode.”

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If blue vulvas were your something new for the day, I’m glad that I was able to help.

Now you don’t have to wonder if it’s all in your head if you’re horny and something below isn’t feeling quite right. Your vulva might be feeling a bit blue.

The good news is now you know just what to do about it.

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