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10 "Weird" Things Could Actually Elevate Your Sexual Experience
I write about sex—a lot. That's because I read and research the topic, even more. Sometimes, while I'm out here perusing, I'll happen upon something that'll immediately evoke a light chuckle or a "For real? That's crazy" internal response. Today, I'm about to share 10 semi-weird things that caused me to do either or—sometimes both. While the overall objective is just to provide some food for thought, I'm thinking that if you actually apply a few of these things to your own sex life, it could prove to be beneficial for you. Are you ready to check out some totally random things that could improve copulation for you and yours? Let's hit it.
1. People Who Make Their Bed Have More Sex
I'll be honest. When I heard Oprah say a few years back that she hardly ever makes her bed, I felt that in my spirit. Because I make sure to get 6-8 hours of sleep and also because I am totally unapologetic about taking a nap during the day, it's rare that my bed gets made either. And since I'm currently not getting any, when I read that people who make their bed have more sex, for now, all it did was cause me to Kanye shrug. Oh, and want to share it with folks who actually are.
Apparently, there was a survey conducted that said, not only is it a total turn-off to 55 percent of people to have sex with someone who doesn't make their bed, those who actually do so are participating in coitus 25 percent more too. As a bonus, bed makers tend to get more quality sleep. So, if making your bed isn't something that you're big on, but you want to have more sex than usual, pulling that comforter up and fluffing a few pillows could be the solution to this particular "problem".
2. A Man’s Girth Is More Important than His Length
Earlier this summer, I wrote the article "BDE: Please Let The 'It Needs To Be Huge' Myth Go" for the site because, well, it's the truth. While I've indeed had my fair share of "big ums" in my day, the man who gave me the most vaginal orgasms actually had the smallest member of them all. That's why I'm not sold on the fact that a big penis is all that necessary when it comes to sexual fulfillment; especially since our most sensitive nerve endings are actually two inches into our vagina.
That's why it actually makes perfect sense to me why a man's girth (the width of his penis) would make more of an impact than his length.
From what I've read and researched, our vagina is covered in stretch mechanoreceptors; those are receptors that give our central nervous system information as it relates to things like touch, pressure and vibration. Because our vaginas are capable of stretching wide enough for a baby to come through (another reason why size is "eh"), it would make sense that the width of a man's penis would help to stimulate our mechanoreceptors more than the length of one would. So, if you're wondering what kind of penis would work more in your favor…now you know.
3. Heels Can NEGATIVELY Affect Your Orgasms
Gasp if you want, but I'm not big on high heels. It's not that I don't think they're sexy; it's just that I know what they can do to our backs over time and, the older I get, the more I care about that kind of stuff. Something that confirmed my sentiment was learning that wearing heels can also work against us in the bedroom. The bottom line reason is, many shoe companies have designed the arch of heels to match the arch of our pelvis. The problem with that is the heels can create a contraction in our pelvic floor that actually makes it challenging for us to fully climax during sex. Hey, I'm not saying you need to toss out all of your stilettos or anything. I'm just saying that wedges and sneaks might be your better bet on non-special occasion days. If you wanna have more orgasms, that is.
4. The More Water You Drink, the More You’ll Be Able to Get Off
This point isn't really "weird" so much as it is a reminder. We're made up of around 60 percent water, right? So, rather than immediately reaching out for lube, every time you have sex, how about committing to drinking more water throughout the day, every day? Hydrating your body from the inside out is a proven way to make you wetter, which ultimately makes sex oh so much better.
5. The “P” and “V” Are Low on the Erogenous Zones List
If you're someone who likes a lot of foreplay, even if it's more than intercourse itself, don't think that it makes you a high-maintenance lover. The reality is, as far as erogenous zones go, the penis and vagina count for 10 percent of "importance" when it comes to sparking sexual stimulation. That's probably why a lot of us don't get turned on if our partner immediately goes for "her" without taking a few pit stops along the way. The more you know.
6. Certain Sleep Positions Can Ramp Up Your Sex Dreams
I once read somewhere that if you want to engage in more morning sex, you can significantly increase your chances of that happening by dreaming about coitus the night before. If you just read that and thought to yourself, "Great. But who can actually 'will themselves' to have a sex dream?", it's funny that you would ask that. Word on the street is, if you sleep on your stomach, with your hands over your head, you actually have a really good chance of dreaming about copulation. It might sound crazy but before you totally write it off, try that position tonight. Report back in the comments if it sparked anything.
7. Sitting in a Chair Can Make You Hornier
All of us have something called a pudendal nerve. It runs from the back of our spine, right down to the base of our genitalia. It's a nerve that is able to send messages to our brain via our vagina (or in men's cases, their penis) and anus. Coincidentally, it's also what controls our sphincter muscles whenever we go to the bathroom. Well, when we sit with good posture in a chair, that nerve that can get stimulated which can arouse us. So, if you've been wondering why you can't seem to stop thinking about sex while you're at work, you being in your chair all day could very well be why, sis.
8. Big Guys Are Better and Last Longer
I'll be the first to say that a six-pack is really nice to look at, but if you wanna have a better sex life, you might wanna go the beer belly route instead. Yep. Apparently, men who have a little more jiggle around the middle are not only able to last longer (roughly around five minutes), they also produce more of the hormone estradiol which can also prevent them from cumming before they are ready to.
While this certainly isn't license for a man to pack on the pounds (because obesity can cause health issues up the road), it definitely is enough of a reason to not nag your partner if his body isn't picture perfect. His gut just might be able to please you more than any body builder or model ever could. Tell your man there's no need to thank me for sharing this with you. I was more than happy to help. #wink
9. Sex Can Regulate Your Cycles
Is your menstrual cycle all over the place? Something you can do to naturally regulate it is to have more sex. No joke. A part of the reason is because sex releases the natural hormone oxytocin which can reduce your stress levels. The less stressed out you are, the more balanced the rest of your hormones are so that the regularity of your period becomes more consistent. As a bonus, sex can also make your menstrual cramps less intense and sometimes, even shorten your period too. Engaging in intercourse, around once a week, is all you need to (hopefully) make this happen.
10. A Headache Can Be an Aphrodisiac
Got a migraine? Guess what can be better for you than ibuprofen? You guessed it—an orgasm. Apparently, the same brain chemical that causes us to feel horny is the same one that can also give us a killer headache. And so, what some scientists have discovered, is folks who are prone to migraines actually have an elevated libido. I actually know some migraine sufferers who can't get enough sex. I never made the connection until I read a study surrounding it. Interesting. Very interesting, indeed.
BONUS: Being in Love Makes Sex Better
Let me close out with something that isn't weird; just a reminder. Last fall, I wrote "Experts Believe Passion (Not Love) Makes Sex Better. You Agree?" for this site. I must say that, as someone who has counseled many sexless married couples who do love each other but still ain't having good sex, to a large extent, I would have to agree. That still doesn't mean that love isn't a really important ingredient in a lasting and fulfilling sex life, though. When you love someone, you trust them, you feel OK sharing all of yourself with them and you care more about being with them than setting unrealistic expectations—and yes, that makes for a much better sex life. To seal the deal on this, I wanna share an article that I read on Thought Catalog's site entitled, "18 Men Explain Exactly How Sex Is Different With Someone You Love".
So, if all you pretty much engage in is casual sex, maybe give waiting until you love someone a chance. It could be what stands between the "cool sex" you've been having and the climbing-the-ceiling sex that you're truly deserving of. You might get the sex you've been looking for without needing to personally apply all of this…weirdness.
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Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
This article is sponsored by Hulu.
UnPrisonedhas returned for its highly anticipated second season, delving deeper into the complex dynamics of the Alexander family.
The series premiere comes a year after its debut season garnered rave reviews from fans and critics and earned record-breaking ratings for Hulu's Onyx Collective brand. UnPrisoned's success can be attributed to its raw, relatable themes and comedic appeal.
Inspired by creator Tracy McMillan's life, the show follows Paige (Kerry Washington), a therapist and single mother whose life takes an unexpected turn when her father, Edwin (Delroy Lindo) --who was released from prison-- moves in with her and her teenage son, Finn (Faly Rakotohavana).
Throughout UnPrisoned's first season, viewers witnessed how Edwin's incarceration deeply affected Paige's life and relationships. In the series, Paige unpacks her trauma through interactions with her inner child and her online followers. Meanwhile, Edwin is overcoming specific struggles with his own past that led to his life of crime, including a dysfunctional upbringing and his mother's arrest. As the Alexanders attempt to reconcile, new challenges arise.
This new season promises to further explore their unconventional family dynamic. Here are several compelling reasons why season two of UnPrisoned should be on everyone's watchlist.
The Alexander Family Life Is Still In Shambles
UnPrisoned's second season resumes where the series left off, with Paige grappling with the fallout from her troubled therapy practice and Edwin navigating life independently after moving out. Meanwhile, Finn faces his own challenges. The teenager is battling anxiety and seeking information about his father—a topic Paige avoids discussing.
The Alexander Family Are Attending Therapy To Resolve Their Underlying Issues
Amid the chaos in their lives, the Alexander family decides to mend their bond by confronting their past traumas. They seek professional help and attend therapy sessions with a “family radical healing coach,” played by John Stamos, a new cast member. This collective effort aims to unravel the complexities of their shared history and strengthen their relationships.
The process of unraveling each character's internal conflicts and their potential impact on future relationships may clash with Paige's textbook therapy approach. While Paige is used to being in the therapist's seat in both career and family, this forces her into the unfamiliar role of a patient during therapy sessions. This shift would compel her to look in the mirror and try a radically different approach.
The Alexander Family Learned A Big Lesson During A Therapy Session
In therapy, the Alexanders are tasked with addressing their individual traumas to salvage their remaining relationships. One of the family therapist’s eccentric suggestions was an exercise involving a family wrestling match. During this session, Paige faces tough questions about her refusal to share information about Finn's father.
While it's unclear whether this scene is reality or fantasy, the image of the family duking it out in the ring certainly makes for hilarious yet compelling television.
Paige Tries Dating Again Following Failed Relationships
Amid her life's chaos, Paige decides to step back into the dating field. However, her many attempts have left her with mixed results. The dating apps have turned out to be a fail, and an outing with her ex Mal (Marque Richardson), who is also her father's parole officer, doesn’t go quite as expected after he brings an unexpected guest – his new girlfriend.
The situation takes an awkward turn when Mal's new partner learns why the former couple split, partly due to Paige's self-sabotage.
UnPrisoned Is A Perfect Balance Of Comedy And Drama
As a dramedy, UnPrisoned takes a comedic approach to its heavy subjects. The show takes us on a ride with Paige's dating misadventures and navigating a friendship with her ex.
Other lighthearted moments include Edwin's attempts at CPR based on online videos and, of course, the antics of the Alexander family's unconventional new healing coach.
The second season of UnPrisoned is now available on Hulu.
UnPrisoned | Season 2 Trailer | Hulu
Feature image courtesy
'Love Island USA' Star JaNa Craig On The Reality Of Black Women On Dating Shows
Love Island USA just wrapped up its sixth season, and it has been the talk of the town. According to Nielsen, it's the No. 1 show on streaming, proving it's just as entertaining as the UK version. One of the reasons this season has been successful is due to the authentic relationships formed between the islanders in the villa.
You have the sisterhood between Serena Page, JaNa Craig, and Leah Kateb, aka PPG, and the real relationship moments between couples like Serena Page and Kordell Beckham, who were named the winners of this season. The other finalists include Leah Kateb and Miguel Harichi, Nicole Jacky and Kendall Washington, and JaNa Craig and Kenny Rodriguez.
While JaNa made it to the finale with her boo Kenny, her journey in the villa was far from perfect. Viewers saw the Las Vegas native get her heart stomped on a few times after many of her connections didn't work out.
At one point, it even looked like she was getting kicked off the island. While she had a lot of support from people watching the show, it was clear that she was in a position that many Black women on reality dating shows find themselves in: not being desired.
It has been an ongoing conversation among Black women watching reality dating shows as we see time and time again that non-Black women or racially ambiguous-looking women are often chosen over Black women, especially dark-skinned women. In a discussion with Shadow and Act, JaNa opened up about the support she received from viewers.
@cineaxries i love them 🤧 #janacraig #janaandkenny #loveislandusa #foryou #peacock #loveisland #janaloveisland #xybca #kennyloveisland #janaedit #loveislandedit #janaedits #loveislandusaedit #viral #loveislandusaseason6 #foryoupage #peacocktv
"You know what’s so crazy? I’m so grateful, because when I got my phone, the way they’re making us The Princess and The Frog…I felt honored. I will be that beautiful chocolate queen if I need to be. And the comments like 'beautiful chocolate girl,' I’m like, all Black women are beautiful. There’s the whole light skin versus dark skin, which breaks my heart. I just really don’t understand that, but I will take pride and represent us well," she said.
She also candidly discussed her experience as a dark-skinned Black woman on the show. JaNa and Serena had been in the villa since the first episode, and they were the only dark-skinned Black women there. As new men aka bombshells came into the villa, they found themselves not being wanted by many of them.
"Me and Serena literally had a heart-to-heart before Kenny came in and she’s like, I just don’t think it’s fair that the Black girls don’t get enough fair chance.' Every islander that came in, we were not their top pick. And we just [thought], maybe because we’re Black girls, and the dark-skinned Black girls. It sucked," she said.
"I’m like, 'Serena, we know what we bring to the table. We’re great personalities. A guy’s going to come in for us.' That’s when we manifested what we wanted, and that’s when I manifested Kenny."
@ashleyvera__ We love to see it 🥰 #loveislandusa #loveisland #loveisland2024 #janaandkenny #loveislandseason6 #peacock #realitytv #fypage
After many failed connections, Kenny came in and immediately turned JaNa's experience around. America watched the model get the care and attention that she deserved.
"I’m not going to hold you. When I was in the bottom for a quick second, I’m like, ‘There’s no way America doesn’t [ride for us]. I know Black America had to ride for me, but maybe because I’m a dark-skinned … hmm … maybe … you feel me? And you saw the Casa Amor lineup. Beautiful, beautiful light-skinned [women]," she said.
"We looked at each other like, 'Damn, Love Island did their big one with this. And every single Casa Amor girl was like, 'You girls are gorgeous, you guys are stunning.' They expressed love. You guys are beautiful and it felt good."
Although she and Kenny came in third place, JaNa is happy that she got her man in the end. "I think the thing I’m most grateful about is the fact that this is a beautiful love story like you guys complement each other and there’s no hate toward the skin color. It’s all love and support. I love that more than anything," she said.
"That’s why I was like, 'I won,' even though I didn’t win. And the fact that Serena won, we were like, 'Yeah, run that.' Either way, we won. And I love the support from all communities."