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'Snowfall' Actor Melvin Gregg Believes True Love Is All About Timing
Having been up since 4 in the morning and fresh off a flight from the East Coast, there is a tinge of fatigue in Melvin Gregg's voice. And understandably so. He later reveals that despite the long flight back to LA, he'll be headed to audition not too long after our conversation ends. Such is the life of an up-and-coming, especially as an already in-high-demand actor.
With several critically acclaimed films and series under his belt like American Vandal, High Flying Bird, and most recently, Snowfall on FX, it's safe to say that "busy" is now Melvin's new normal. Which is arguably in stark contrast to how things were when they were just getting started. Originally moving to California to pursue acting, Gregg found himself trying to secure as many gigs as he could--which often came in the form of short commercials and indie films.
But it wasn't until he decided to take his talents to the streets of social media, that he would begin gaining more leverage to support his acting endeavors and eventually land his way back on the big screen. He tells xoNecole, "With doing all of that, I was really just trying to get back into traditional media. Acting was always the goal. I redirected my focus at the top of 2018 and I've been able to consistently work and level up with each project. I'm thankful, but I'm not content. But I do understand the process and I trust it completely."
We got the chance to catch up with Melvin where we talked about stepping away from Vine, what he appreciates most about his current relationship, and why he feels that true love is all about timing.
xoNecole: It's safe to say that most people were introduced to via your hilarious videos from Vine. Was it hard translating your talents from just a social media setting to a more traditional one?
Melvin Gregg: Not really, I was acting honestly before I did social media. Social media was sort of a stretch for me because I'm somewhat introverted. So being over the top and what I had to be online, my energy had to be a lot higher. And with the platform I was working on (Vine), it had a majority audience that I wasn't used to. So I had to adapt and study what was working, teach and train myself to do it. Coming back over to traditional media was where I wanted to be so it wasn't that hard. But the hardest thing I will say is that, when you create a monster with social media, you have to fight it when you move back over. Because people only want to see you in the light they first saw you in, you kind of have to go uphill to try to win people over on a different medium.
"When you create a monster with social media, you have to fight it when you move back over. Because people only want to see you in the light they first saw you in, you kind of have to go uphill to try to win people over on a different medium."
Which do you enjoy more: creating social content or acting in traditional films/TV shows?
The content I created online was never anything to where I had to come out of myself in a public space in the sense that I wasn't doing stunts or pranks. Everything I did, I produced, edited, [and] I was working with other actors as well. So it was similar to the traditional format, it was just a lot shorter. What I enjoyed was just having creative control to really do what I wanted to do, from top to bottom. Writing the product to shooting, directing and editing. But when it comes to acting, you pretty much only have one job. I enjoy it though because it is a longer format and you do have time to really play up your character and win the audience over. But as far as digital--I enjoy the creative control more. So I guess the ideal would be creating content on the traditional format in the same way I did in the shorter format.
I want to switch gears and talk relationships. Are you down?
Of course, let's do it.
You're a funny guy. Is it important that your girl can keep up with you in terms of humor? Is that necessary for you?
You know what? I think having a great sense of humor where you get my jokes is important--but I feel like I'm witty more than anything. So if a girl can get that, I appreciate that. If she's not, then it's really not going to work out because the conversation's going to be dull. She doesn't have to be a comedian or crack jokes all the time but there's nothing worse than when you tell a joke and the person doesn't get it. It's like "that awkward moment when." It's one of the biggest buzzkills.
Speaking of relationships, are you taken or are you single?
No, I'm not single, I have a girl.
What was it about her that made you realize you were ready to commit and make things official?
I'm really good with intuition, so when I first saw her, I felt like I knew who she was. And over time, she just proved that she really was who I thought she was. And it just worked out that way, it was nothing specific--I just knew. She had the qualities I was looking for.
"When I first saw her, I felt like I knew who she was. And over time, she just proved that she really was who I thought she was. And it just worked out that way, it was nothing specific--I just knew."
What do you do to make her feel special?
Of course she gets the majority of my time and attention. I do things that I know she likes. I'm really into the small thoughtful things. Painting her pictures, writing her letters, going out and buying her plants, you know the little things. I'm not into the extravagant gifts. I'm into being thoughtful.
What do you appreciate most about your girlfriend and your relationship?
That she's my best friend. It's about more than just the physical. If something were to happen to where we're not together anymore, she could still be my best friend. I'd still want her in my life, to the point where it would probably get in the way of every other relationship I would have. I don't understand how somebody could be all about this one person and they mean so much to you and then something happens and they never talk again. That's weird, especially if you connect with that person on so many different levels.
I get that. So, what's something you didn’t do in your last relationship that you definitely want to implement in this current relationship?
Be more affectionate. Where I'm from, people don't really show affection; I never saw it in the household. They show affection by talking sh-t to each other; so it was hard for me to put my guard down and be vulnerable. I'm still working on it, I'm a work in progress for sure.
I think we all are if we’re honest. So for you personally, what would you say are the biggest love lessons you’ve learned thus far?
Put your pride aside for one, you have to do that when you're with someone you care for. You don't want to lose somebody you love over your pride. And also just communication. Whatever's on your mind, you need to address it. Bring it to the frontline, because the other person could be thinking the same thing. Or maybe, you might think something is going on and you want to address it in a certain way, when in reality--there's nothing going on. But through conversation, you can figure that out rather than blindly playing games.
"Put your pride aside for one, you have to do that when you're with someone you care for. You don't want to lose somebody you love over your pride."
What's the biggest misconception women or people in general have about you?
I think that I'm always joking. Most people always say I'm different from what they expect when they meet me. For women, I think a lot of them think or thought that I'm some womanizer. It's a misconception because of the videos and things that I put online so it's partially my fault (laughs). For other people, everything on social media is transparency when it comes to their real-life but not for me. It was just a platform for me to distribute the content I created, none of that was real. But a lot of people mistook it for being real. But again, that's partially my fault.
What do you know now about love that you didn’t know before?
I always felt like I had a good understanding about what love was, but I cared more about what I wanted. So you can't be selfish and I was selfish in the sense that, there were other things I wanted to do first before I committed to love. But it's really all about timing, that's the most important. And not just yours, but the other person's as well.You can't rush love [and] you can't put it on the backburner then try to come back to it.
For more of Melvin, you can follow him on Instagram.
Featured image by Melvin Gregg/Instagram
Writer. Empath. Escapist. Young, gifted, and Black. Shanelle Genai is a proud Southern girl in a serious relationship with celebrity interviews, The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, and long walks down Sephora aisles. Keep up with her on IG @shanellegenai.
How This New Bond Repair Line Transformed One Mother's Postpartum Shedding Into The Ultimate Curl Comeback
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For Crystal Obasanya, her wash day woes came shortly after her son did. The beauty and lifestyle content creator had been natural for years, but during postpartum, she quickly learned about one reality many mothers can relate to experiencing: postpartum hair loss. “Sis had thinning hair. Sis had split ends,” she shared about her hair changes in a Reel via xoNecole.
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Featured image courtesy
It’s funny how a breakup can be the best or worst thing that’s ever happened to you. It has the power to completely change your life, whether it knocks you down or empowers you to evolve. Either way, whatever happens next is up to you. That can feel like a lot of pressure when you don’t even want to get out of bed. But sometimes, all it takes is a moment of encouragement, inspiration, and motivation that you’re not crazy for wanting to send that drunk text or stalk your ex on social media.
But in those heartbreaking moments, you can tap into your inner resilience and strength, knowing that there’s a reason the relationship came to an end. Whatever that is, please trust that whatever is meant for you will be so much better, including the you that comes out on the other side.
This is the perfect time to heal, rediscover you, and open yourself up to love again. Here are 12 books to help you do that and more.
Power Moves: Ignite Your Confidence and Become a Force
Whether you were the initiator or the receiver of a breakup, the end of a relationship can be traumatic. But it can also help you find the confidence you might have lost in the aftermath. Sarah Jakes Roberts’ Power Moves: Ignite Your Confidence and Become a Force reminds you that your true self is worth loving and pulls you out of the status quo that you might have fallen into in your relationship. It lets you know that it’s more than okay to clap for yourself and the growth you’ve accomplished while unleashing your boldness. Tap in!
Win Your Breakup: How to Be The One That Got Away
Amazon
Nobody wins when the relationship ends. But if we’re honest, many of us want the other person to at least regret the parting of ways. Like, did we matter at all? Natasha Adamo’s Win Your Breakup: How to Be The One That Got Away talks us off the ledge of trying to prove that we have the upper hand (and quoting Beyoncè’s “She ain’t no divaaa” under anyone’s post that your ex appears to be moving on with).
Instead, Adamo motivates us to focus on our own journey after the breakup because it will be tough enough without being preoccupied with what our exes are doing. You have a whole life after this, and your best days are ahead of you, not behind. You truly win when you decide to walk away from whatever negativity came with the breakup and focus on you. ‘Cause we’re not looking back, sis.
Emotional Self-Care for Black Women
Amazon
One of the best things you can do in this moment is be selfish and think about you. If self-care is a priority in your healing journey, think about diving intoEmotional Self-Care for Black Womenby Alicia Magoro. It takes you through the process of improving your self-esteem, getting rid of negative thoughts, and truly healing from past traumas, each of which is crucial after a breakup. No matter how crazy life is as you try to put the pieces back together, taking moments to truly uncover the reality of your feelings and emotions is essential to your healing.
Break Up With What Broke You
Amazon
I feel like a key step in getting through a heartbreak is cookie dough ice cream, any Shonda Rhimes show, and a box of tissues. But unfortunately *sigh* that can’t last forever. When it’s time to push through, Break Up With What Broke You by Christian Bevere is waiting for you. When you’re ready to overcome the comfort of who you’ve always been, this book helps you evolve into who you’ve been meant to be all along. If you need a book that provides steps with compassion and grace instead of a no-nonsense approach, this is for you (cause who’s trying to get their feelings hurt?)
How To Get Over A Boy
Amazon
‘Cause that’s all we’re trying to do, right? I love the theory of How To Get Over A Boy by Chidera Eggerue because it reminds us that men, or any partner we have, do not belong on a pedestal. As amazing as they may be, you’re just as dope! Eggerue isn’t having you tap into your inner fineness to help you find a man or get a text back with outdated tactics. No, sis. This book is all about reminding you that you are the true prize, and there’s nothing wrong with carrying yourself as such. Yes, wanting to be in a relationship again is natural and inevitable. But for now, it’s also okay to find satisfaction with yourself.
Didn’t See That Coming: Putting Life Back Together When Your World Falls Apart
Amazon
All of the signs may have been there, but a breakup can still be shocking. We’ve tried to see the best in our now-ex, and it may have left us holding the bag. Any breakup can be devastating, but if you’re trying to get through a traumatic one, add Didn’t See That Coming by Rachel Hollis to your list. The title alone is funny because it’s ironic and true. And in all seriousness, it pulls you out of being stuck in your pain and trauma and encourages you to be a better you when all is said and done. Your breakup doesn’t have to be detrimental to your life. It can be a turning point to help you transition into the woman you never thought you could.
I Almost Forgot About You
Amazon
Isn’t it crazy how after a breakup, almost everything reminds you of that person? From a song that’s shuffled into your playlist and inside jokes to a hilarious viral video on social media, it feels like you can’t escape. Thankfully, our good sis Terry McMillan did her good work with her novel I Almost Forgot About You. No, it’s not a non-fiction book that gives you ways to get through your heartbreak, but it tells the story of a woman named Dr. Georgia Young, who’s going through a transformation of her own to find her inner shero after quitting her job and relocating. The relatable ups and downs she experiences as she bravely takes on unexpected risks can inspire and let you escape for a while.
Sis, Don’t Settle: How to Stay Smart in Matters of the Heart
Amazon
Following our hearts is all fun and games until it leaves us in an agonizing situation. Sis, Don’t Settle by Faith Jenkins gives us a much-needed reminder not to give in to the desire to be in a relationship just to avoid being alone. Whether your ex checked every box on your list or you compromised because you saw potential in what it could be (we’ve all been there, love), let’s decide to not let our hearts or emotions cause us to settle for less. I love this book because it drops the fluff and gives relatable ways to be smart about love, have healthy and loving relationships, and not rush the process.
The Art of Letting Go
Amazon
I read a meme that said, “If overthinking was a sport, I’d be an Olympic gold medalist.” And I felt seen. After a breakup, it’s so easy to replay those final moments in your head over and over again, especially if you were blindsided. The Art of Letting Go: Stop Overthinking, Stop Negative Spirals, and Find Emotional Freedom (The Path to Calm) by Nick Trenton walks you through doing exactly that.
No matter what happened, the brutal reality is we can’t do anything to change it, and mentally running it on a loop does more harm than good, sis. This book lets your mind be a safe place full of peace and tranquility instead of a battle zone. It inspires you to embrace the present without yearning for the past or being afraid of the future.
The Breakup Bible: The Smart Woman's Guide to Healing from a Breakup or Divorce
Amazon
Like many books on this list, The Breakup Bible: The Smart Woman's Guide to Healing from a Breakup or Divorce empowers you to channel your inner power, rediscover your worth, and flourish like you’ve always wanted. If you’re like me, you might not know where to start after a major (and possibly unexpected) life transition. How do you even begin to move on without sitting in the aftermath for too long?
This book, penned by Rachen A. Sussman, serves as a guide for you to truly heal from the devastation one step at a time. Because it’s okay to take things slow. It features three phases of recovery — healing, understanding, and transformation — providing a clear road map to not just surviving a breakup, but coming out whole on the other side.
I love this version of myself that you brought out: a memoir of a broken heart
Amazon
Can we just take a second to salute the power of a breakup? Whether it sparks your international solo eat, pray, love journey or makes you truly consider what you want in life for you, as horrible as it can be, good things can come out of the parting of ways. I love this version of myself that you brought outby Jaymen Chang gets real about the good, bad, and the ugly, from wishing you could unsend that vulnerable text message, to waking up one day feeling different and ready to move on. Pick this one up when you’re ready to cry it out, process, and enter your season of becoming.
When You’re Ready, This Is How You Heal
Amazon
When the dust settles, how are you for real? You may be excited about the idea of using your breakup as an excuse to glow up, or you may be heartbroken and just aren’t in the space to think beyond turning on Mary J. Blige and drinking wine in a bathrobe. And that’s okay. When You’re Ready, This Is How You Heal by Brianna Wiest encourages you to embrace the true work of your healing journey. It can be soul-crushing, yet rewarding. With dozens of essays geared toward your process, this book realizes that it doesn’t take one day or one thing to heal.
It’s an ongoing life moment as you recover from the person (or people) who just wasn’t the best for you. As you find yourself again and welcome the things and people who truly love you, you’ll flourish even through the pain.
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