No one pleases me like I do.
Although I've long since graduated from the younger years of strictly relying on my fingers (or a pillow) for self-pleasure, I have always been an advocate for the benefits of masturbation and encouraging women to get to know their bodies. What turns them on, what doesn't. What causes that sharp inhale when you feel pressure on just the right spot. That tingle that curls your toes and prompts you to arch.
There aren't a whole lot of things on this planet that feel as good as clitoral stimulation. That bundle of thousands of nerve endings is the key to unlocking most women's orgasms, but often gets ignored, especially when penetration enters the picture and entices you to let him come in to play. Literally.
It's easy to forget the promise the pads of your fingertips against your clit provides when you've learned what a d*ck can do to you.
I succumbed to that lifestyle and somewhere down the line, I forgot that small act of self-love I discovered in masturbation and began to treat it like a chore, or an action performed out of desperation in between dick appointments with bae. I forgot how to honor prioritizing my pleasure.
Maybe it was partially due to boredom. I had a vibrator, but it was a step up from a Bullet vibrator, had six speeds, but in the grand scheme of things, I would push masturbation to the back of my mind. I valued the personal connection of sexual intimacy, which isn't a bad thing, I just forgot how to balance and do both.
That was, until my self-pleasure game was reenergized. Enter, my new favorite sex toy: the Magic Massager.
Cosmopolitan
I'm thoroughly convinced that it's literally the best vibrator to ever be created.
I didn't believe the sales rep behind the counter as I eyed my options at the nearby Starship one rainy Friday night. Initially, I wanted something cute, petite, and purple that was USB rechargeable. She shook her head and suggested getting the one by Adam & Eve or any wand that requires an outlet to work – those were the most powerful. I had seen them in porn, mostly BDSM videos, and the pleasure it seemed to evoke looked so intoxicating – eyes rolling to the back of your head, squirt-inducing orgasmic convulsions – but I wondered how much of it was an illusion. The cashier swore that she hadn't picked up any of her other toys since – that's how magical the wand was.
And she wasn't lying.
It packs power like no other vibrator I've ever experienced before. And though bulky in size, the intense pleasure it elicits is well worth the effort to plug it into an outlet and go to town on your p*ssy. With its head at my entrance, I can barely keep my eyes open – it feels that damn good. And then, almost instantly, I'm there. Riding that wave of the sometimes-evasive orgasm that seems to find me every single time with that wand. Sometimes I even get multiples. If I can take it. It's absolute magic in that way.
The first time I used it during sex, my partner had it pressed up against me with my legs positioned in spread eagle. He held me down with a firm hand on my belly and I writhed on the vibrator with fervor, like it was an itch I was trying to scratch. In a way, it was. The combination of him holding me so that I wouldn't run and turning the speed up a notch had me arriving in no time at all.
I couldn't even catch my breath before he was calling me to give him another one. My clit was so sensitive, I could barely bite back my cries. I was an ocean by the time he entered me and, of course, the Magic Wand stayed along for the ride as he thrust within me. I clenched around him with every wave that washed over me. It made for the most electrifying, intoxicating lovemaking session we've ever had.
I thought it'd lose its power if penetration was taken out of the picture, but I was pleasantly surprised at how much the wand fulfils me independently of anyone. Through it and its steady pulse, I was reminded of how much I loved masturbation, how much I missed self-pleasure, and how much I love getting myself off. No man necessary. Although, it's even better if you do.
Looking to upgrade the way you do self-pleasure, or to add to your collection? Check out some of our editor-approved favorite vibrators below.
3.Hitachi Magic Wand
Do you partake in self-pleasure? What's your favorite way to indulge lately?
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Kayla Nicole says she wore a dress that was once worn by Braxton herself for the Halloween costume. “It’s not a secret Toni is more on the petite side. I’m obsessed with all 5’2” of her,” she tells xoNecole via email. “But I’m 5’10'' and not missing any meals, honey, so to my surprise, when I got the dress and it actually fit, I knew it was destiny.”
The episode was the perfect way for the multihyphenate to take control of her own narrative. By addressing the viral moment on her own platform, she was able to stir the conversation and keep the focus on her adoration for Braxton, an artist she says she grew up listening to and who still makes her most-played playlist every year. Elsewhere, she likely would’ve received questions about whether or not the costume was a subliminal aimed at her ex-boyfriend and his pop star fiancée. “I think that people will try to project their own narratives, right?” she said, hinting at this in the episode. “But, for me personally – I think it’s very important to say this in this moment – I’m not in the business of tearing other women down. I’m in the business of celebrating them.”
Kayla Nicole is among xoNecole’s It Girl 100 Class of 2025, powered by SheaMoisture, recognized in the Viral Voices category for her work in media and the trends she sets on our timelines, all while prioritizing her own mental and physical health. As she puts it: “Yes, I’m curating conversations on my podcast The Pre-Game, and cultivating community with my wellness brand Tribe Therepē.”
Despite being the frequent topic of conversation online, Kayla Nicole says she’s learning to take advantage of her growing social media platform without becoming consumed by it. “I refuse to let the internet consume me. It’s supposed to be a resource and tool for connection, so if it becomes anything beyond that I will log out,” she says.
On The Pre-Game, which launched earlier this year, she has positioned herself as listeners “homegirl.” “There’s definitely a delicate dance between being genuine and oversharing, and I’ve had to learn that the hard way. Now I share from a place of reflection, not reaction,” she says. “If it can help someone feel seen or less alone, I’ll talk about it within reason. But I’ve certainly learned to protect parts of my life that I cherish most. I share what serves connection but doesn’t cost me peace.
"I refuse to let the internet consume me. It’s supposed to be a resource and tool for connection, so if it becomes anything beyond that I will log out."
Credit: Malcolm Roberson
Throughout each episode, she sips a cocktail and addresses trending topics (even when they involve herself). It’s a platform the Pepperdine University alumnus has been preparing to have since she graduated with a degree in broadcast journalism, with a concentration in political science.
“I just knew I was going to end up on a local news network at the head anchor table, breaking high speed chases, and tossing it to the weather girl,” she says. Instead, she ended up working as an assistant at TMZ before covering sports as a freelance reporter. (She’s said she didn’t work for ESPN, despite previous reports saying otherwise.) The Pre-Game combines her love for pop culture and sports in a way that once felt inaccessible to her in traditional media.
She’s not just a podcaster, though. When she’s not behind the mic, taking acting classes or making her New York Fashion Week debut, Kayla Nicole is also busy elevating her wellness brand Tribe Therepē, where she shares her workouts and the workout equipment that helps her look chic while staying fit. She says the brand will add apparel to its line up in early 2026.
“Tribe Therepē has evolved into exactly what I have always envisioned. A community of women who care about being fit not just for the aesthetic, but for their mental and emotional well-being too. It’s grounded. It’s feminine. It’s strong,” she says. “And honestly, it's a reflection of where I am in my life right now. I feel so damn good - mentally, emotionally, and physically. And I am grateful to be in a space where I can pour that love and light back into the community that continues to pour into me.”
Tap into the full It Girl 100 Class of 2025 and meet all the women changing game this year and beyond. See the full list here.
Featured image by Malcolm Roberson
My main motive? Mostly, I hope that it will serve as a solid reminder to embrace all of the things that you adore about this time of year, so long as you do it in moderation and you weigh the costs.
Especially as far as drinking alcohol is concerned.
PRO: Manages Blood Sugar Levels
GiphyHere’s something that you may have never seen coming. Were you aware of the fact that alcohol can actually help to stabilize your blood sugar? Yep, according to the American Diabetes Association, so long as you leave it to no more than 1-2 cocktails a day, alcohol may be able to lower your A1C levels. Pretty cool, right?
CON: It’s a Carcinogen
GiphyAlcohol is a carcinogen. The reason why this should somewhat alarm you is because carcinogens are things (like tobacco, UV rays, processed meats, etc.) that can increase your chances of being diagnosed with cancer (especially mouth, throat, esophagus, stomach and breast cancer). There are various ways this happens including the fact that alcohol, specifically, can hinder your body from breaking down certain nutrients, it can cause your estrogen levels to spike and alcohol can also cause certain toxins to damage your DNA and certain bodily proteins over time.
PRO: Cultivates Euphoric Feelings
GiphyIf you find yourself feeling more euphoric while you’re enjoying a drink, it’s not all up in your head. Although, for the more part, alcohol is considered to be a depressant, when consumed in small amounts, it can provide a stimulant effect. This happens due to the fact that when you first start to consume alcohol, it causes the production of the feel-good hormone known as dopamine to increase — and since dopamine makes us all feel more relaxed and confident while heightening our senses of pleasure too…well, there you have it.
CON: May Increase Anxiety/Depression
GiphyAs they say, “what goes up, most come down” at some point — and that is what you have to be careful of when it comes to alcohol consumption. For instance, when you drink alcohol, although it tends to initially cause your dopamine levels to uptick, because it is a temporary bodily response, sometimes the dips are lower than the rises…and that is when anxiety starts to kick in. A similar point is made with depression because oftentimes, people with depression-related symptoms, will use alcohol as a way to deflect from what’s really going on with them — and that can make them feel even worse than ever once the buzz of alcohol starts to wear off.
PRO: Has Some Heart-Related Benefits
GiphyWhen it comes to your heart, there are interesting findings surrounding its relationship to alcohol. For instance, some research states that, so long as the consumption is moderate, alcohol can actually help to increase the good cholesterol in your system while also breaking down proteins that can potentially lead to blood clots; both of these factors alone can reduce your chances of dying from heart disease.
CON: Packs on Pounds
GiphyIt’s no secret that alcohol tends to contain quite a few calories. That’s why, it’s not uncommon for people who’ve lost weight to mention “I’ve stopped drinking” as one of the causes for the shed pounds. That’s not to say that there aren’t some alcoholic beverages that have less calories than others including vodka (133 calories per serving), white wine (148 calories per serving) and tequila (99 calories per shot). Just keep in mind that the more you drink, the more calories get into your system and the more weight you stand to gain.
PRO: Lowers Inhibitions
GiphyAlthough you really should only be uninhibited around people who you absolutely trust, if that person is your partner and you’re looking to have a pretty — eh hem — active evening, alcohol can certainly help to make that happen. The science of it all is the prefrontal cortex of your brain is what regulates your inhibitions and levels of self-control. Meanwhile, alcohol suppresses your inhibitions which can cause you to be more spontaneous and open to trying things that you might not immediately do if you were sober. And with the right individual, that can be sexually beneficial (emphasis on “right person”).
CON: Makes It Harder to Orgasm
GiphyOn the other hand, as odd as it may seem (in light of what I just said), if you have too much alcohol in your system, it could make climaxing difficult. That’s because orgasms happen, in part, due to your nervous system being stimulated — and since alcohol is technically a depressant…well, it could reduce nerve sensitivity (especially as far as your clitoris goes) for you while making it challenging for your partner to remain erect or have consistent stamina. And yeah, that sucks.
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‘Tis the season. And with that, if some wassails or hot buttered rums are in your immediate future — hey, don’t let me stop you — not even a lil’ bit.
All I’m saying is now that you know what alcoholic drinks have to offer (both ways), you can know exactly how to incorporate them into your holiday plans. Enjoy!
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