There are honestly some things that you just can't tell your man that you can tell your work husband.
Your work husband speaks your same language and understands all of your “inside jokes." He drinks coffee with you every morning, knows your birthday, your favorite food, all of your pet peeves, and he is always there when you need to vent. A day doesn't go by that you don't talk and laugh with him about absolutely nothing.
A work husband is a type of office spouse that you work with and share a special work relationship with that can be very similar to the one that you may have with someone that you are intimate with, like with your husband or boyfriend.
When I first heard of the term “work husband" or “work wife" I immediately thought, “Oh hell no! I wish my man would have a work wife!".Now that I have thought more about it, the idea of an office spouse is not bad as long as certain lines are not crossed (okay, I wouldn't be cool with my boyfriend even using the word “wife" when referring to someone else - even if it was just a work wife).
If you are in a relationship, but have a close male friend at work, it is important to keep your relationship with them strictly nonsexual and completely platonic. Although you know in your head you would never cheat on your significant other, you have to keep in mind that the same person that you call your work husband is someone that you spend all day with, take lunch breaks with, and share all of your thoughts, hopes, and dreams with.
Even though you may not see it or admit it, there is some form of intimacy between you two with the type of relationship that you have - but you are just not intimate. Well, not yet.
Just think about it. You are with that work husband all day long. You share a special bond. And what if he is walking around looking like Michael B. Jordan, too? Whew! What are you going to do?
Before your innocent work marriage turns into an affair, utilize the tips below so that you don't break up their happy home or yours.
Don't keep the relationship secret.
If you feel the need to not tell your man about another male friend, then honestly, it looks suspicious. Your man should know about your male friends, and you should know about his. Just think about it and put yourself in his shoes. How would you feel if your man had a close female friend at work, but didn't tell you about it? Yeah, I know, all hell would break loose!
Introduce them, but don't make it awkward.
If you have a close relationship with your work husband, then your man should definitely meet him. The meeting should be casual - maybe at a happy hour or at your job's holiday party. When you introduce your work husband to your man, introduce him by using the title that he has in your life. For example, if your significant other is your boyfriend, the introduction should be, “Hey, this is my boyfriend, my honey that I am always telling you about." This will show your man that you are not ashamed to tell the whole world who he is, and what he means to you.
Remember, what happens at home, stays at home.
When you first got together with your man, everything may have been like heaven on Earth, but we all know that things happen, and that heaven doesn't last all day, every day. There will be times when your man upsets you or when you two will go through some things. When this happens, keep these private details of your relationship away from your work husband. Honestly, it isn't his business, and I'm sure your man wouldn't want you crying to another man about him. Would you care if he vented to another woman about you? Yeah, I thought so.
No texting after dark allowed.
I don't know about you, but if my man's phone buzzes late at night, my head switches around so quickly, and I wonder, “Who in the hell has the audacity to text/call him this late at night?" Unless it is an emergency, I always felt people should have more respect for me as his woman and not call or text his phone late at night - especially his female friends.
The same should go for you and your work husband. Although you and he have a special bond, keep the text messaging to a minimum, especially after hours. If there is something that you need to tell him and it is late, let it wait until the next day.
Don't look like a side-line chick.
Personally, I have a few male friends, and most of them are in relationships. When I see their girlfriends or wives, I make sure that I am friendly and I try my best to make her feel comfortable. I never want my friends girlfriends to think that I have something going on with their man.
You should try to do the same with your work husband. Whenever you are around her, make sure you acknowledge her and look at both of them when talking. Even more, find something nice to say about her. Every woman can admit that flattery is the easiest way to a woman's heart, so make sure you tell her how much you've heard about her (and if she has on a nice outfit, it is okay to tell her that too).
What do you think about having work husbands or work wives? Do you have one, and if so, how do you keep the relationship innocent? Let us know below!
Featured image by Getty Images
- Seven signs you have a work spouse - CNN.com ›
- Urban Dictionary: Work Husband ›
- Signs You've Crossed The Line With Your Work Spouse | HuffPost ›
- Your Work Husband: 4 Rules for Keeping the Peace at Work and ... ›
- Why Scientists Think You Should Have a Work Spouse | Inverse ›
- Are you crossing the line with your work spouse? - Chicago Tribune ›
- Subtle signs you have a work spouse - BI ›
RELATED
And today? Today, I’m going to share something that, if you are married, you can do to improve your sex life that is actually super easy and hella effective. It just requires moving into a different space. Yes, literally.
Read on, and I’ll explain more.
Get Out of the Bed, Y’all. It’s Time.
GiphyThere’s no telling how many times I’ve said over the years that I agree with interior designers when they say that the purpose of the bedroom is sex and sleep — no more, no less. And that alone makes it pretty obvious why the “default location” for copulation is a bed. It’s private. It’s comfortable. Plus, it’s such an ideal location for foreplay, intercourse, and afterplay (which typically consists of quite a bit of cuddling), too. And since beds/bedrooms are so ideal for sexual activity, it’s very easy to take the “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” approach and just stay in that space most, if not all, of the time.
The challenge with that is, if you’re not careful, boredom can creep into your bedroom — and since I think we all can agree that a satisfying sex life is an essential part of any healthy relationship, boredom isn’t something that you should just shrug off, especially since one study revealed that about a third of Americans are currently not very thrilled by what’s happening up in their bedrooms these days.
Not only that, but I once read an article that said sexual boredom is why there is an uptick in masturbation, lower sex drives, an increase in cheating, more relational conflict, and a ho-hum take on relationships overall.
Now, are there seasons when sex is going to seem less exciting than others? 1000 percent (check out “The 'Seasons Of Sex' That Married People Go Through”). And so, if you’re reading this and you happen to be someone who plans on getting married someday, that is something that you should absolutely keep in mind. However, to the married folks, those seasons can happen less (or you can get through them faster) if you’re more intentional about doing things that can keep your sex life fresh and stimulating.
And one of those things includes…GETTING OUT OF THE DAMN BED.
5 Benefits of Having Sex Outside the Bedroom
GiphyOkay, so what are some of the benefits that come with making this minor coitus-related tweak?
1. Getting out of the bed is spontaneous. While reading an article that featured a survey of 500 Americans and 500 Europeans on their favorite place to have sex, the top rank was in public. I’m pretty sure that’s because it’s risqué, it’s random and the spontaneity of it all can be stimulating as all get out. Look, even if you’re not down for having sex in a restaurant or club bathroom, technically your backyard is still considered to be “public.” Pitch a tent and try it there. If you wait until nightfall, the fresh air and stars alone might get your adrenaline going…in ways you never expected.
2. Getting out of the bed is fun. It’s hard to be bored when you’re having fun and when you’re exploring something different with your partner, that can open the door to discuss new things, to laugh about new experiences, and to enjoy the trial and error of experimentation. Plus, laughter has been proven to release endorphins (feel-good hormones), which can make having orgasms easier. Besides, it’s kind of hard to not laugh, at least a little bit, when you’re in the midst of having a really good time — sex should also be considered a really good time.
3. Getting out of the bed can introduce you to new approaches to intimacy. Say that your man suggests going down on you on the countertop in the kitchen one day, out of the blue. I don’t mean during the midnight hour, either. I mean, when the sun is still out, and the curtains are slightly drawn. If normally, you’re down for some oral, yet you prefer to engage in pitch blackness while lying back on your mattress, being on the counter could “hit angles” that you didn’t know existed while being in the light could boost your sexual confidence in ways that you didn’t quite predict.
4. Getting out of the bed can teach you something else/different about your partner (and yourself). One of my clients once told me that when her husband recommended having sex in a Starbucks bathroom (one of the cleaner bathrooms, I’ve heard), she said that it caught her so off guard that they ended up having a long conversation about sexual fantasies. As a result, they decided to come up with sex-themed bucket lists every six months that consist of new things that they want to try. She said that it’s been one of the wisest moves that they’ve ever made. You can learn more about how to make your own by checking out, “This Is How To Create The Best Kind Of ‘Sex Bucket List.’”
5. Getting out of the bed can make your bedroom feel “new” again. You know what they say — absence makes the heart grow fonder, and if you aren’t always having sex in that bedroom of yours, that can actually make you “miss” it sometimes, especially if you decide to do some redecorating (as far as bedding and candles, etc. go) a couple of times a year.
As you can see, doing something as simple as having sex somewhere other than your bedroom can create a whole new world, quite literally, as far as your sex life is concerned.
One of the Best Places to Have Sex
What if I’ve got you convinced to get out of your bed, and, yet, you’re not quite ready to do anything that’s considered to be “too crazy” just yet? No problem. All you’ve got to do is head towards the place where apparently most people use as a safe out-of-the-bedroom go-to: their living room couch.
In fact, couches are apparently so “sex popular” that a few years back, GQ published a piece entitled, “Couch Sex Is the Best Sex.” Why? Couches are comfortable. Couches are different from a bed.
Also, the sex position possibilities that come with the help of a couch are pretty endless. Not only that, but when I asked some of my clients how they felt about having sex on their own couches, several told me that the 69 (oral) sex position is on a whole ‘nother level, thanks to the armrests on their couch (you’re welcome — LOL). So, if you’re wanting to “ease out” of the bedroom, sex-wise, try your couch. For starters.
15 Other Places to Have Sex (If You Haven’t Already)
GiphyNow that I’ve hopefully at least got you to consider getting out of the bedroom (period or far more often), let me share a quick list of places to try — in case you need a bit more inspiration:
1. The laundry room — with the cycle running, it’s like a huge vibrator.
2. The dining room — afteran aphrodisiac-filled romantic dinner. You’ll probably already havesome sex condiments within your arms’ reach.
3. In the shower. Before you hate, read this first: “So, This Is How To Make Shower Sex So Much Better.”
4. Against a wall — any wall. Have you noticed that some of the hottest sex scenes in movies are filmed up against a wall? It’s great for oral sex as well as intercourse.
5. In one of your closets. It’s in a close proximity, and you can hold on to racks that hold your hangers. Plus, it’s pitch black in there if dark is your thing…even in the daytime.
6. On throw pillows on the floor. Over the holidays, I watched a video of Nick Cannon with his firstborn twins at his house. One of his rooms is a theater room that’s filled with nothing but throw pillows. Personally, I’m a big throw pillow fan because they are cozy, comfy, and a great option for sitting on the floor. “Floor sex” conveys “gotta have you now” and the more lust that’s in the air, chances are, the better the sex will be.
7. In a rocking chair. Someone was recently telling me how amazing sex is in a tantra chair. When I looked one up, it reminded me of a chaise lounge. Anyway, that did get me thinking about how chairs can make for deeper penetration and super close face-to-face intimacy. If you step it up and get in a rocking chair, you can control the speed of the intercourse in a cool way. Try it and report back.
8. In a sleeping bag on your deck. Cuddling with your hubby is already going to get your oxytocin levels up. It would be a shame to let them go to waste, so strip naked from the waist down and engage in spoon sex. No one has to know (which is a part of the thrill!).
9. In an office. His or yours. I mean, even if it’s a home office, it qualifies.
10. Via a trampoline. I mean, you might’ve bought one for the kids. However, after you read Elite Daily’s “4 Sex Moves To Try On A Trampoline & Take Getting Frisky To New Heights,” you might wanna get one for yourself. #wink
11. On a truck bed. Down a country road. It’s rustic, raw and romantic. If you don’t have a truck, borrow or rent one. It’ll be worth it.
12. On a road trip. Rent an SUV that has tinted windows. While heading to wherever you’re going, stop and have sex in random spots along the way. This is where quickies can come in hella handy.
13. On the hood of your car. I mean, it can always be in the garage…if you’d prefer.
14. Airport parking lots — in the cheap section. Hey, if public sex is your thing, you can try those same tinted windows that I just mentioned in the airport lot sections that are super far from the airport because they are cheap. If you go up in there after midnight, barely anyone is around. Just sayin’.
15. While on a sexcation. Pretty sure it’s time for one of those, anyway (check out “Married Couples, It's Time For A Sexcation!”).
____
It’s actually a husband who once told me that it’s hard to get bored with your partner, so long as you both really desire each other and mutually want to keep your sex life strong. Changing locations can help with this, so use this year as the year to give it a shot. You might be surprised by how a simple shift can make sex the very kind that you’ve been longing for (lately)!
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Featured image by Giphy