
Exclusive: Nivea Gets Real About Her Self-Love Journey And Why Being On ‘Queens Court’ Felt Like Therapy

You may be familiar with Nivea through her hit songs “Don’t Mess With My Man” and “Complicated,” but thanks to her reality television arrival, we are seeing the woman behind the music. The singer stars in the Will Packer-produced Peacock dating series Queens Court alongside Tamar Braxton and Evelyn Lozada. The series features the three women being courted by several men in an effort to find love. From day one, Nivea captivated viewers with her infectious laugh and down-to-earth personality, with many people wanting to see more of the Atlanta native on our TV screens. However, Nivea never expected to have this newfound fame.
“I never thought of myself as no TV personality chile, like never,” Nivea admits to xoNecole. “But watching the show back, I’ve literally catching myself laughing, falling out, screaming, and laughing at myself. So with that being said is that I’m always so uncontrollably myself like it could be shocking, I guess even for me. But I’m glad I made people laugh, or they could relate to me because I was definitely being myself.”
*Spoiler alert*
While the dating series was a unique experience for all the ladies involved, Nivea found herself in quite a conundrum throughout most of the show. Unlike Tamar and Evelyn, who were both able to narrow down their options to one guy by the finale, the “Laundromat” singer had two guys she couldn’t quite shake, Ty and Mack. The difficulty of choosing between the two men was apparent as Nivea would often say on the show how both of them appealed to different sides of her. The mom of four tells me that she was really “torn between the two all the way up until the end.”
But in the finale, she made the ultimate decision of choosing herself.
“I’m a very instinctual being, and I trusted honey,” she explains. “I’m so into my intuition, and I really go with [my] gut feelings, and I kept saying I’ll know since it took up to the last dang on day anyway. I said okay, when I’m making this final decision, I’ll feel where my heart is pulling me, what my mind is saying, and everything was saying, nah, neither one was the one.”
She continues, “You know when you know. As I’ve had not-so-great relationships, I’ve had good, healthy ones as well, so I know what that exchange at least should feel like. The same way as you know when something don’t feel right, so I had to say deuces to both of them. And Mack and Ty are so cool, though. I had two cool dudes, I must say.”
"I said okay, when I’m making this final decision, I’ll feel where my heart is pulling me, what my mind is saying, and everything was saying, nah, neither one was the one.”
Nivea is a mother to four children. She shares three children with her ex-husband, singer/ producer The-Dream, and one with rapper Lil Wayne. While those relationships didn’t work out, the “Okay” artist is determined to find her person and credits her self-love journey in helping her weed out those who aren’t worthy of her love. Being on Queens Court complemented her personal journey as she felt like the process was a form of “therapy” for her.
She explains how talking with the guys, the hosts of the series, Holly Robinson Peete and Rodney Peete, and Evelyn and Tamar, helped her see things about herself that she needed to change such as setting boundaries and no longer always putting others’ needs in front of her own.
“Tamar and Evelyn showed me that it’s nothing wrong with being like, ‘I'm not putting up with that shit.’ Like, I don’t have to take this,” she says. “They are very much set in knowing of what they deserve, and anybody that's not honoring that of what they want in their lives then they stop it at the door.
“I’m the 200th chancer, you know what I mean, and now it’s like from not just in every way. I’m not allowing a lot that I would use to in the past. Like uh, uh, stop that bullshit at the door before it festers like I'm used to doing.” While her self-love journey is ongoing, she can now take what she has learned so far and apply it to her dating life. The beloved singer got emotional as she began sharing the type of man she wants in her future.
Nivea
Photo courtesy of Nivea
“I’m looking for somebody who mirrors me now. That mirroring in the past, my God, and now I’m able to say dang, I did do that. I was a part of that. Now that I love who I’m becoming, I want that mirrored. I’m okay with what’s coming next because I know I’m a better me,” she says as she becomes overwhelmed with emotion.
“I know this time around it will be because, I hate to say it, I've been forced to do self-work and just constantly being let down and disappointed and heartbroken. It forces you to say, like seriously what am I doing wrong? And I don’t like that word wrong because, a lot things are yin and yang, and more left and right than right and wrong.
"Now that I love who I’m becoming, I want that mirrored. I’m okay with what’s coming next because I know I’m a better me.”
She continues, “I’m just ready for the next season, I know that my next forever person is going to be a support system for me. They will be spiritual, they will be educated in many ways. I can feel it. It’s gonna be really powerful and I can’t wait chile. I’m glad I’m finally ready and I can trust myself again.”
Nivea just released her new song “Killa” and will be releasing the music video soon. She is also working on her new album.
Follow Nivea on Instagram @thisisnivea.
Feature image courtesy of Nivea
'Sistas' Star Skyh Black On The Power Of Hypnotherapy & Emotional Vulnerability For Men
In this insightful episode of the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker talked with Sistas star Skyh Black, as he opened up about his journey of emotional growth, resilience, and self-discovery. The episode touches on emotional availability, self-worth, masculinity, and the importance of therapy in overcoming personal struggles.
Skyh Black on Emotional Availability & Love
On Emotional Availability & Vulnerability
“My wife and I wouldn't be where we are today if both of us weren't emotionally available,” he shared about his wife and Sistas co-star KJ Smith, highlighting the value of vulnerability and emotional openness in a relationship. His approach to masculinity stands in contrast to the traditional, stoic ideals. Skyh is not afraid to embrace softness as part of his emotional expression.
On Overcoming Self-Doubt & Worthiness Issues
Skyh reflected on the self-doubt and worthiness issues that he struggled with, especially early in his career. He opens up about his time in Los Angeles, living what he calls the “LA struggle story”—in a one-bedroom with three roommates—and being homeless three times over the span of 16 years. “I always had this self-sabotaging thought process,” Skyh said. “For me, I feel therapy is essential, period. I have a regular therapist and I go to a hypnotherapist.”
How Therapy Helped Him Heal From Self-Doubt
On Hypnotherapy & Empowering Self-Acceptance
Skyh’s journey is a testament to the power of tapping into self-development despite life’s struggles and being open to growth. “I had to submit to the fact that God was doing good in my life, and that I'm worthy of it. I had a worthiness issue and I did not realize that. So, that’s what the hypnotherapy did. It brought me back to the core. What is wrong so that I can fix it?”
Watch the full podcast episode below:
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Quinta Brunson Gets Real About Divorce, Boundaries & Becoming
Quinta Brunson is the woman who chooses herself, even when the world is watching. And in her June 30 cover story for Bustle, she gives us a rare glimpse into the soft, centered place she's navigating her life from now. From leading one of television's most beloved series in the last decade to quietly moving through life shifts, the creator of Abbott Elementary is walking through a personal evolution and doing so with intention, grace, and a firm grip on her boundaries.
Back in March, the 35-year-old filed for divorce from Kevin Jay Anik after nearly three years of marriage, citing "irreconcilable differences." The news hit the headlines of news outlets fast, but Quinta hadn't planned to announce their dissolution to the public so quickly.
Quinta Brunson On Divorce, Public Scrutiny & Sacred Boundaries
"I remember seeing people be like, ‘She announced her divorce,’" she told Bustle. “I didn’t announce anything. I think people have this idea that people in the public eye want the public to know their every move. None of us do. I promise you. No one wants [everyone] to know when you buy a house, when you move, when a major change happens in your personal life. It’s just that that’s public record information."
In regards to her private moves becoming tabloid fodder, Quinta continued, "I hated that. I hate all of it."
"I Am An Artist First": Quinta On Cutting Her Hair & Reclaiming Herself
Still, the diminutive phenom holds her crown high in the face of change and is returning to the essence of who she is, especially as an artist. "Cutting my hair reminded me that I am an artist first. I want to feel things. I want to make choices. I want to be a person, and not just stuck in having to be a certain way for business." It's giving sacred rebirth. It's giving self-liberation. It's especially giving main character energy.
And while the headlines keep spinning their narratives, the one that Quinta is focused on is her own. For her, slowing down and nourishing herself in ways that feed her is what matters. "It’s a transitional time. I think it’s true for me and my personal life, and it’s how I feel about myself, my career, and the world," Quinta shared with Bustle. “I feel very serious about focusing on watering my own gardens, taking care of myself and the people around me who I actually interact with day-to-day."
That includes indulging in simple rituals that ground her like "making myself a meal" which has become "really, really important to me."
That spirit of agency doesn't stop at the personal. In her professional world, as the creator, executive producer, and lead actress of the critically-acclaimed Abbott Elementary, Quinta understands the weight her choices carry, both on- and off-screen. She revealed to Bustle, "People used to tell me at the beginning of this that the No. 1 on the call sheet sets the tone, and the producer sets the tone — and I’m both of those roles."
She continued, "I understand now, after doing this for four years, how important it was that I set the tone that I did when we first started."
Quinta doesn't just lead, she understands the importance of curating the energy of any space she enters. Even amid a season of shifts and shedding, her power speaks loudly. Sometimes that power looks like quiet resistance. Sometimes that power is soft leadership.
And sometimes that power looks like cutting your hair and taking back your name in rooms that have forgotten you were an artist long before you were a brand.
Read Quinta's cover story on Bustle here to witness the fullness of Quinta's becoming.
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