

Scentsational: 12 Hacks That Will Keep You Smelling Amazing All Day Long
Even though I personally don’t know anyone who doesn’t like smelling good (and praise the Lord for that), I’m not sure how many people are aware of just how deep the rabbit hole goes when it comes to the impact that fragrance makes. For starters, scents cultivate a psychological impact on our moods. Scents affect how attracted we are (or aren’t) to other people. Scents are even connected to our memories and trigger certain emotions. Oh, and if you want to intensify your orgasms, you also should pay close attention to the kinds of scents that you (or your partner) wear.
So yeah, when I decided to pen this article, the reason why I think it’s a good idea to know how to smell good, for as long as you possibly can, isn’t “just because.” As you can see, there are all sorts of benefits that come from making the most out of your favorite fragrance. So, let’s dive into 12 things that you can do to stay smelling totally amazing for hours (and hours) on end.
1. Don’t Settle for the Cheap Stuff
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You know what they say — you get what you pay for. Well, when it comes to perfumes and colognes (by the way, the main difference between the two is perfume contains a higher concentration of perfume oils), one way to know if a smell-good is on the cheaper side is if it smells particularly sweet; another way is if the scent fades 2-4 hours after putting it on. Still, another is the more expensive stuff tends to not smell one-dimensional; it will literally have levels of scent to it.
Listen, all of us are trying to keep extra coins in our pockets. Still, if you want your perfume (or cologne) to last longer than the time it takes to walk into and then out of a movie, you’re gonna be better off investing in the stuff that comes with a bit of a higher price tag. There’s no way around that; that’s just the way it is.
2. Stop Shaking Your Bottles
Something that was my “something new for the day” is, it’s not a good idea to shake your perfume bottles. Whenever you do that, you bring air into the bottle, and that ultimately can compromise the way your perfume smells. So, if that’s always been your thing, it’s time to break that habit ASAP.
3. Keep in Mind That Perfume Actually Does Expire
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If you’ve had some perfume bottles since, hell, you don’t even know when, it might be time to toss them. Although you may have never even considered this point, word on the street is that perfume does indeed expire. Some ways to know is if one of your perfumes has a sour or metallic smell to it, it changes color, or if you’ve had it for a decade or longer — if any of these boxes check off, get something else. It’s (past) time.
(By the way, if you were wondering, it would appear that muskier scents last longer than citrusy ones do. Just an FYI.)
4. “Seal Your Skin” After Getting Out of the Bath/Shower
It might surprise you to know that lotions and moisturizers are actually a pretty controversial topic when it comes to skincare experts. Some frown upon them because they make it difficult for dead skin cells to naturally remove themselves from your body. Others say that regular application of them can alter the chemistry of your skin and make hydration from the inside out more difficult.
Others say that the real key is to not moisturize excessively and to avoid products that contain ingredients like parabens, mineral oil, and artificial fragrances. Personally, I haven’t used lotion in years. I prefer to go the carrier oil route; they contain properties that are good for your skin, plus they are better at moisturizing your skin in a more beneficial way.
How I apply them is I put on my favorite carrier oil (currently, it’s plum oil) right after doing a final rinse in the shower. I let the oil penetrate my skin for a couple of minutes, and then I dry off. The moisture lasts all day, my skin feels super smooth, and I don’t have to worry about some random crazy products clogging up my pores.
Oh, and where does the scent come in? I have one bottle of plum oil that contains some of my favorite essential oils. Using that and then adding a bit of extra essential oil after? Chile, you will smell crazy good until the next time that you step foot into your tub!
5. Also, Put a Balm on Your Skin Before Adding Your Favorite Fragrance
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Speaking of sealing your skin, did you know that fragrance doesn’t hold up quite as well when it’s on dry skin? That’s why a backup to sealing is to put some sort of skin balm on your skin before applying your favorite smell-good. The moisture that it will provide can easily give you a couple of more hours in the scent longevity department.
6. Apply Your Favorite Fragrance onto Your Pulse Points
Listen, I’m all about making the most out of our pulse/pressure points. That’s why I once wrote “Feelin' On These Pressure Points Will Give You The Best Sex Of Your Life” for the platform. As far as fragrance application goes, because your pulse points are the warmest parts of your body, putting perfume, cologne, or essential oils on your wrists, your neck, in the creases of your elbows, behind your knees, and/or even right below your belly button, this is another way to get the most out of them — if you want the scent to be as strong as when you first put it on hours later.
7. Put Some “Smell Good” in Your Hair
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When it comes to what I personally do, I don’t leave the house without applying my favorite scent to my clothing and also on my hair. Now, I will say that since I use high-quality essential oils (more on that in a bit), I don’t have to worry about alcohol drying my strands out. However, if perfume is more your thing, you can still add it to your hair; you just might need to create a hair mist that contains some water and a carrier oil, too, so that you don’t end up damaging your hair (in the long run) as far as using your fragrance goes.
8. Believe It or Not: STOP RUBBING YOUR WRISTS TOGETHER
If you’re someone who applies your favorite scent and then immediately rubs your wrists together, it’s time to let that habit go. Although your wrists do qualify as being a pulse point, rubbing them together only weakens the scent of your smell-good. Plus, oftentimes, people do it before their perfume has any time to dry — i.e., penetrate their skin and that is super counterproductive.
9. Carry Some Scent-Filled Cotton Balls in Your Purse
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Here’s a hack that is a true winner, especially if you’re using a fragrance that isn’t the highest in quality. If you know that you’re going to be out for a while and you want your scent to remain as potent as when you first put it on, pour (or spray) some of it on a few cotton balls, place them in a small plastic bag and put them in your purse. Then, you can just reapply the scent whenever and wherever you want to. Brilliant!
10. Strongly Consider Going with Essential Oil(s) Instead
I kid you not — there is a certain essential oil combination that I’ve been wearing for years now, and there is not one day when I am out that someone will not compliment me on it. Not only that, but people will tell me that I “linger” even after walking away. Yeah, I don’t think anything can get me back to using perfume, especially since I know that quality essential oils are made of all-natural ingredients, the scent tends to last longer, I don’t have to break the bank to get them, I can have a ball layering the scents, and they come with their own proven health-related benefits.
For instance, there is science to back up that essential oils can improve your mood, make you more productive, enhance your quality of sleep, relieve physical tension, decrease stress levels, and make it easier to focus — all this, and they can make you smell absolutely divine too? Yeah, if you haven’t tried essential oils as a perfume or cologne alternative…ain’t no time like the present to give it a shot.
11. BONUS: Always Keep the Seasons in Mind
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Did you know that some fragrances work better in some seasons than others? For instance, when it’s hotter outside, the heat can cause lighter seasons to fade quicker. And during the cooler seasons, although scents don’t evaporate as much, drier skin can make some fragrances not as potent. This is why it’s a good idea to become a bit of an online student when it comes to seasonal scents.
Spring is great for citrus and floral smells. Summer is ideal for “airy” ones. Fall is good when it comes to earthy smells. Winter is all about intense and woodsy tones (think “fire”).
12. BONUS: Add Some Fragrance to Your Bedding Every Night
Hopefully, you bathe every day. Yet, who said that just because the day is over and you’re about to retire, you still can’t smell just as good as you did before the sun started to set? Adding fragrance to your bedding can also help you to smell wonderful, it can seriously entice whoever is in the bed with you, and, as we’ve already discussed, it can help you to catch a better level of zzz’s.
So, don’t forget to put a bit of it on your pillow and then relax — it could get something special started (cue Tony! Toni! Toné!’s “(Lay Your Head on My) Pillow” and then read what they had to say about the song here. You’re welcome). #wink
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Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
Exclusive: Gabrielle Union On Radical Transparency, Being Diagnosed With Perimenopause And Embracing What’s Next
Whenever Gabrielle Union graces the movie screen, she immediately commands attention. From her unforgettable scenes in films like Bring It On and Two Can Play That Game to her most recent film, in which she stars and produces Netflix’s The Perfect Find, there’s no denying that she is that girl.
Off-screen, she uses that power for good by sharing her trials and tribulations with other women in hopes of helping those who may be going through the same things or preventing them from experiencing them altogether. Recently, the Flawless by Gabrielle Union founder partnered with Clearblue to speak at the launch of their Menopause Stage Indicator, where she also shared her experience with being perimenopausal.
In a xoNecoleexclusive, the iconic actress opens up about embracing this season of her life, new projects, and overall being a “bad motherfucker.” Gabrielle reveals that she was 37 years old when she was diagnosed with perimenopause and is still going through it at 51 years old. Mayo Clinic says perimenopause “refers to the time during which your body makes the natural transition to menopause, marking the end of the reproductive years.”
“I haven't crossed over the next phase just yet, but I think part of it is when you hear any form of menopause, you automatically think of your mother or grandmother. It feels like an old-person thing, but for me, I was 37 and like not understanding what that really meant for me. And I don't think we focus so much on the word menopause without understanding that perimenopause is just the time before menopause,” she tells us.
Gabrielle Union
Photo by Brian Thomas
"But you can experience a lot of the same things during that period that people talk about, that they experienced during menopause. So you could get a hot flash, you could get the weight gain, the hair loss, depression, anxiety, like all of it, mental health challenges, all of that can come, you know, at any stage of the menopausal journey and like for me, I've been in perimenopause like 13, 14 years. When you know, most doctors are like, ‘Oh, but it's usually about ten years, and I'm like, ‘Uhh, I’m still going (laughs).’”
Conversations about perimenopause, fibroids, and all the things that are associated with women’s bodies have often been considered taboo and thus not discussed publicly. However, times are changing, and thanks to the Gabrielle’s and the Tia Mowry’s, more women are having an authentic discourse about women’s health. These open discussions lead to the creation of more safe spaces and support for one another.
“I want to be in community with folks. I don't ever want to feel like I'm on an island about anything. So, if I can help create community where we are lacking, I want to be a part of that,” she says. “So, it's like there's no harm in talking about it. You know what I mean? Like, I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change. I'm just getting better and stronger and more intelligent, more wise, more patient, more compassionate, more empathetic. All of that is very, very welcomed, and none of it should be scary.”
The Being Mary Jane star hasn’t been shy about her stance on therapy. If you don’t know, here’s a hint: she’s all for it, and she encourages others to try it as well. She likens therapy to dating by suggesting that you keep looking for the right therapist to match your needs. Two other essential keys to her growth are radical transparency and radical acceptance (though she admits she is still working on the latter).
"I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change."
Gabrielle Union and Kaavia Union-Wade
Photo by Monica Schipper/Getty Images
“I hope that a.) you recognize that you're not alone. Seek out help and know that it's okay to be honest about what the hell is happening in your life. That's the only way that you know you can get help, and that's also the only other way that people know that you are in need if there's something going on,” she says, “because we have all these big, very wild, high expectations of people, but if they don't know what they're actually dealing with, they're always going to be failing, and you will always be disappointed. So how about just tell the truth, be transparent, and let people know where you are. So they can be of service, they can be compassionate.”
Gabrielle’s transparency is what makes her so relatable, and has so many people root for her. Whether through her TV and film projects, her memoirs, or her social media, the actress has a knack for making you feel like she’s your homegirl. Scrolling through her Instagram, you see the special moments with her family, exciting new business ventures, and jaw-dropping fashion moments. Throughout her life and career, we’ve seen her evolve in a multitude of ways. From producing films to starting a haircare line to marriage and motherhood, her journey is a story of courage and triumph. And right now, in this season, she’s asking, “What’s next?”
“This is a season of discovery and change. In a billion ways,” says the NAACP Image Award winner. “The notion of like, ‘Oh, so and so changed. They got brand new.’ I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
"I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
She continues, “So I'm just trying to figure out what's next. You know what I mean? I'm jumping into what's next. I'm excited going into what's next and new. I'm just sort of embracing all of what life has to offer.”
Look out for Gabrielle in the upcoming indie film Riff Raff, which is a crime comedy starring her and Jennifer Coolidge, and she will also produce The Idea of You, which stars Anne Hathaway.
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Have you ever been in a relationship with someone and felt so deeply connected to them? Everything about the relationship was intense – good or bad? Then you might be in a part of a soul tie.
The concept of a soul tie binds individuals on a level beyond a relationship's physical and emotional aspects; it’s more than a mere connection. You can form a soul tie with anyone – lover, friend, colleague, etc.- but we are discussing romantic partners for this article. Think of you and your partner as an intensely burning flame. The flame can burn passionately to light the relationship’s way or chaotically burn everything in its path. Either way, it leaves an indelible mark on the souls involved.
A soul tie should not be confused with the term “soulmate.” The main difference is that a soul tie can be positive or negative, while a soulmate is a mutual, harmonious connection. Unlike a soul tie, a soulmate relationship is generally characterized by mutual understanding, support, and shared values.
However, the more we learn about soul ties, the more it becomes evident that they are not monolithic; they vary in nature and intensity. As someone who has experienced a negative soul tie, it is crucial to discern whether they contribute positively to personal growth or hinder you from flourishing.
If Your Soul Tie Is Positive
A positive soul tie creates a deep and affirming connection between individuals. One key indicator of a positive soul tie is effective communication. If you’re experiencing a positive soul tie, a shared understanding fosters open and honest dialogue, contributing to a sense of connection and support.
Mutual growth is another hallmark of a positive soul tie. When individuals in a relationship encourage each other's personal development and evolution, it signifies a positive and uplifting connection. This mutual support leads to an environment where both parties can thrive individually and together, contributing to the overall health of the soul tie.
Emotional security is a crucial element in identifying a positive soul tie. In such connections, individuals feel a deep sense of trust and comfort with each other. This emotional security forms a stable foundation for the relationship, allowing both parties to express vulnerability and foster a strong, positive bond. These three indicators—effective communication, mutual growth, and emotional security—underscore the positivity inherent in a healthy and affirming soul tie.
If Your Soul Tie Is Negative
A negative soul tie manifests as a detrimental and draining connection between individuals. One clear sign of a negative soul tie is the presence of emotional turmoilwithin the relationship. When the connection becomes a source of constant distress, causing emotional upheaval and hindering personal development, it indicates a negative soul tie.
Codependency is another red flag for a negative soul tie. In such connections, individuals may become overly reliant on each other, impeding their ability to thrive independently. Codependency often leads to unhealthy dependencies and can result in a toxic dynamic that hinders both individuals' growth and well-being.
A lack of effective communication is a third indicator of a negative soul tie. When there is a breakdown in communication, misunderstandings and unresolved issues can fester, contributing to a strained and unhealthy connection. In negative soul ties, the absence of open and honest dialogue can perpetuate a cycle of negativity and prevent the resolution of underlying issues. These three indicators—emotional turmoil, codependency, and poor communication—point to the negativity associated with an unhealthy soul tie.
Putting Out The Fires And Breaking Your Soul Tie
Unfortunately, my deep, intense connection only caused destruction. And despite the obvious red flags, it took a minute before I broke the connection. Why? Because I was addicted to the relationship, we both were. But it is possible to break a soul tie if and when you are ready because if you are not, pretending you are when you are not is a waste of your time.
Breaking a soul tie requires intentional and purposeful actions. Establishing clear and firm boundaries is a fundamental step in severing the connection. By limiting contact and emotional engagement with the person involved, individuals can gradually weaken the tie and create space for personal growth.
Seeking professional support is another effective strategy to break a soul tie. Guidance from therapists or counselors provides valuable insights and coping strategies. Professional assistance can help individuals navigate the emotional challenges associated with breaking a soul tie, offering a structured and supportive environment for healing.
Redirecting energy toward personal growth is important in breaking free from a soul tie. Engaging in activities that promote individual well-being and create a sense of independence allows individuals to refocus their attention on their own growth and development. This redirection of energy is essential for breaking the emotional bonds of a soul tie and moving towards a healthier, more fulfilling life.
The last step I advise everyone to go through is the mourning period. My partner and I did our song and dance for years before I walked away. And I would be lying if I didn’t say that I mourned our relationship while I healed.
Recognizing the presence and nature of a soul tie in your relationship is crucial to understanding its impact on your well-being. Whether positive or negative, the intensity of a soul tie can shape the course of your personal growth and happiness. Breaking free from a negative soul tie demands intentional efforts, from setting clear boundaries to seeking professional support. Redirecting energy toward personal growth and allowing oneself a necessary mourning period are vital steps toward healing and liberation from the intricate ties that bind.
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