
Boy, if I could dedicate this to a person in particular without putting them totally on blast, I definitely would. As someone who has a pretty good memory, there's a client that I've got whose memory is so atrocious that sometimes I genuinely wonder if they are gaslighting me. When I've brought it to their attention, something that they've said is between all of the stuff on their plate, them not getting a ton of rest and oftentimes feeling super overwhelmed, all of this can make recalling stuff pretty challenging.
I'm pretty sure that they are not a rainbow unicorn when it comes to this particular life challenge. So, I thought I would share 12 memory hacks for different kinds of issues. That way, I can just forward them a link (perfect) while hopefully helping a few others at the same time. Are you ready to make your own memory sharper — or to help someone else in your life who has this particular struggle? No worries. I got you.
1. Listen to Classical Music or the Rain
Two things that can relax your mind in a way that other things cannot are the sound of classical music and the sound of rain (I can definitely vouch for rain). Since they both have a way of releasing dopamine which helps to cultivate a sense of pleasure, when you're trying to commit a large amount of content to memory, try and avoid music that has a lot of words in it; that can sometimes confuse your mind. Classical music, rain or some other nature sound is way better in the sense of being far more effective.
2. Choose a “Random” Scent
This one right here is kind of buck. If there's something specific that you need to recall for a business meeting later in the way, try either spraying a scent that you wouldn't typically use or chewing a piece of gum that is not your usual flavor while you're trying to commit it to memory.
If you then spray that scent or chew another piece of that flavor gum right before the meeting, it can actually help to jog your memory. If it does, report back. I'm curious.
3. Read Out Loud
I once read that you're around 50 percent more likely to remember something that you actually said out loud. One researcher said that it has something to do with the fact that adding a production element to whatever you're attempting to retain helps to keep it on your long-term memory for a much longer period of time. So, if you're a silent reader who struggles with remembering what you've read, try reading out loud and see if that helps at all. According to quite a bit of research, it should.
4. Do Some Yoga
With the amount of benefits that come with yoga, it really is crazy that more of us don't do it. On the mental tip, it can help to reduce stress, relieve anxiety, fight depression-related symptoms, improve sleep quality (which also plays a huge role in keeping your memory intact) and it helps to keep your brain in great shape too. Matter of fact, on a science-based level, there are many studies to support the fact that yoga reduces the risk of several cognitive issues. So, if you're looking for a holistic way to improve your memory, sign up for a yoga class. You won't regret it.
5. “A Loaf of Bread, A Container of Milk and a Stick of Butter…”
Aight. The real ones know where this particular reference comes from — Sesame Street. If you need to run to the grocery store (or some other store), there are only a few items that you need to pick up and you don't feel like writing anything down, apply this skit and just substitute the words for what you actually want to buy. It might sound corny yet it's amazing how well it actually works.
6. Say Their Name When You Meet Them
There's a guy I know who calls everyone "baby" because that's how many women he juggles (chile, I already know). Thing is, I've known him long enough to confidently say that he pretty much sucks when it comes to retaining anyone's name unless you happen to be super close to him. If this is your dilemma, a way to help keep someone's name in your memory bank is to actually say it back to them when you first meet them. For instance, if you're at a work luncheon and your boss says, "This is Jackie Johnson," instead of simply saying, "Nice to meet you," go with something along the lines of, "Hello. So, do you prefer to be called 'Jackie' or 'Ms. Johnson'?" They will appreciate the courtesy and it will help you to keep their name locked in at the same time.
7. Study in the Afternoon
Say that you've got a test that you need to study up for. Even if you consider yourself to be a morning person or night owl, it's actually the afternoon that several studies say is the best time to study up. Without getting too deep into it all, apparently that is when our brains are better at combining new info with things that you already know. Definitely another argument for schools not needing to start at the crack of dawn every day. Yet, I digress.
8. Take a Pic When You Park
OK. Some of y'all are cynical. That I know (LOL). So, if you read this one and thought, "How is taking a picture of where I parked a memory hack?", here's the thing. I once read that 55 percent of people have forgotten where they've parked, at least once. If this is you and it's happened more than one time, taking a picture of where you've parked and immediately texting yourself can actually be pretty effective. The reason why is because, if you happen to forget where you parked in the first place, there's a good chance that you will read at least one text while you're out. Seeing a text to yourself will remind you of why you sent yourself one and that can get you to your car so much quicker.
9. Put "It" on a Handle
Say that you travel a lot and you are notorious for leaving your phone charger. Something that can help you out is to put your suitcase by an outlet that is close to the door. Then wrap your charger around its handle. Hey, it's hard to forget something if you've gotta yank it out of the wall in order for you and your suitcase to get out of the door.
10. Explain It to Someone Else
This particular hack, I can totally vouch for because, how can you truly remember something that you don't fully understand and how do you know whether or not you understand it unless you can thoroughly explain it? One of my friends will call me often if she has a presentation and she's concerned that she won't retain all of the facts. After explaining it to me about three times, her confidence goes way up because it's clear to her which makes it easier to keep in her head, long-term.
11. Watch Something on the Topic
Speaking of presentations, do you have one that you need to give on a particular topic, you want to include some extra details yet you're already struggling with the data that you're currently trying to memorize? Try watching a documentary about it. It can be more entertaining than just reading and you'd be amazed how some of the little tidbits that were in the doc will remain in your brain.
12. Put Something on Your Pillows
One more thing. If once you get home from work, you know that there is something that you need to do, either before turning in or in preparation for the next day, put something like a book on top of one of the pillows on your bed. Since that's not where the book belongs and it is literally in the way of you getting the rest that you need, seeing it as you return for the night will help to trigger your memory so that you can complete the task.
That way, you can go to sleep soundly, knowing that you accomplished everything that you needed to do that day. Sweet.
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- 20 Study Hacks to Improve Your Memory ›
Because We Are Still IT, Girl: It Girl 100 Returns
Last year, when our xoNecole team dropped our inaugural It Girl 100 honoree list, the world felt, ahem, a bit brighter.
It was March 2024, and we still had a Black woman as the Vice President of the United States. DEI rollbacks weren’t being tossed around like confetti. And more than 300,000 Black women were still gainfully employed in the workforce.
Though that was just nineteen months ago, things were different. Perhaps the world then felt more receptive to our light as Black women.
At the time, we launched It Girl 100 to spotlight the huge motion we were making as dope, GenZennial Black women leaving our mark on culture. The girls were on the rise, flourishing, drinking their water, minding their business, leading companies, and learning to do it all softly, in rest. We wanted to celebrate that momentum—because we love that for us.
So, we handpicked one hundred It Girls who embody that palpable It Factor moving through us as young Black women, the kind of motion lighting up the world both IRL and across the internet.
It Girl 100 became xoNecole’s most successful program, with the hashtag organically reaching more than forty million impressions on Instagram in just twenty-four hours. Yes, it caught on like wildfire because we celebrated some of the most brilliant and influential GenZennial women of color setting trends and shaping culture. But more than that, it resonated because the women we celebrated felt seen.
Many were already known in their industries for keeping this generation fly and lit, but rarely received recognition or flowers. It Girl 100 became a safe space to be uplifted, and for us as Black women to bask in what felt like an era of our brilliance, beauty, and boundless influence on full display.
And then, almost overnight, it was as if the rug was pulled from under us as Black women, as the It Girls of the world.
Our much-needed, much-deserved season of ease and soft living quickly metamorphosed into a time of self-preservation and survival. Our motion and economic progression seemed strategically slowed, our light under siege.
The air feels heavier now. The headlines colder. Our Black girl magic is being picked apart and politicized for simply existing.
With that climate shift, as we prepare to launch our second annual It Girl 100 honoree list, our team has had to dig deep on the purpose and intention behind this year’s list. Knowing the spirit of It Girl 100 is about motion, sauce, strides, and progression, how do we celebrate amid uncertainty and collective grief when the juice feels like it is being squeezed out of us?
As we wrestled with that question, we were reminded that this tension isn’t new. Black women have always had to find joy in the midst of struggle, to create light even in the darkest corners. We have carried the weight of scrutiny for generations, expected to be strong, to serve, to smile through the sting. But this moment feels different. It feels deeply personal.
We are living at the intersection of liberation and backlash. We are learning to take off our capes, to say no when we are tired, to embrace softness without apology.
And somehow, the world has found new ways to punish us for it.

In lifestyle, women like Kayla Nicole and Ayesha Curry have been ridiculed for daring to choose themselves. Tracee Ellis Ross was labeled bitter for speaking her truth about love. Meghan Markle, still, cannot breathe without critique.
In politics, Kamala Harris, Letitia James, and Jasmine Crockett are dragged through the mud for standing tall in rooms not built for them.
In sports, Angel Reese, Coco Gauff, and Taylor Townsend have been reminded that even excellence will not shield you from racism or judgment.

In business, visionaries like Diarrha N’Diaye-Mbaye and Melissa Butler are fighting to keep their dreams alive in an economy that too often forgets us first.
Even our icons, Beyoncé, Serena, and SZA, have faced criticism simply for evolving beyond the boxes society tried to keep them in.
From everyday women to cultural phenoms, the pattern is the same. Our light is being tested.

And yet, somehow, through it all, we are still showing up as that girl, and that deserves to be celebrated.
Because while the world debates our worth, we keep raising our value. And that proof is all around us.
This year alone, Naomi Osaka returned from motherhood and mental health challenges to reach the semifinals of the US Open. A’ja Wilson claimed another MVP, reminding us that beauty and dominance can coexist. Brandy and Monica are snatching our edges on tour. Kahlana Barfield Brown sold out her new line in the face of a retailer that had been canceled. And Melissa Butler’s company, The Lip Bar, is projecting a forty percent surge in sales.

We are no longer defining strength by how much pain we can endure. We are defining it by the unbreakable light we continue to radiate.
We are the women walking our daily steps and also continuing to run solid businesses. We are growing in love, taking solo trips, laughing until it hurts, raising babies and ideas, drinking our green juice, and praying our peace back into existence.
We are rediscovering the joy of rest and realizing that softness is not weakness, it is strategy.
And through it all, we continue to lift one another. Emma Grede is creating seats at the table. Valeisha Butterfield has started a fund for jobless Black women. Arian Simone is leading in media with fearless conviction. We are pouring into each other in ways the world rarely sees but always feels.

So yes, we are in the midst of societal warfare. Yes, we are being tested. Yes, we are facing economic strain, political targeting, and public scrutiny. But even war cannot dim a light that is divinely ours.
And we are still shining.
And we are still softening.
And we are still creating.
And we are still It.

That is the quiet magic of Black womanhood, our ability to hold both truth and triumph in the same breath, to say yes, and to life’s contradictions.
It is no coincidence that this year, as SheaMoisture embraces the message “Yes, And,” they stand beside us as partners in celebrating this class of It Girls. Because that phrase, those two simple words, capture the very essence of this moment.
Yes, we are tired. And we are still rising.
Yes, we are questioned. And we are the answer.
Yes, we are bruised. And we are still beautiful.

This year’s It Girl 100 is more than a list. It is a love letter to every Black woman who dares to live out loud in a world that would rather she whisper. This year’s class is living proof of “Yes, And,” women who are finding ways to thrive and to heal, to build and to rest, to lead and to love, all at once.
It is proof that our joy is not naive, our success not accidental. It is the reminder that our light has never needed permission.
So without further ado, we celebrate the It Girl 100 Class of 2025–2026.
We celebrate the millions of us who keep doing it with grace, grit, and glory.
Because despite it all, we still shine.
Because we are still her.
Because we are still IT, girl.
Meet all 100 women shaping culture in the It Girl 100 Class of 2025. View the complete list of honorees here.
Featured image by xoStaff
Restlessness. It’s a word that we all know the meaning of, and yet, when you are in your bed and you are actually experiencing restlessness — few things are less annoying. Because if there’s one thing that I’m pretty sure we all can agree on, it’s the fact that when we go to our bedroom, turn off the lights, and snuggle up in our sheets, what we want to do is fall asleep and stay that way — not toss and turn all throughout the night.
So, what causes us to have moments when we’re not experiencing the sound sleep that we so desire? While I wish that I had a black and white answer for you, the reality is that several different factors (sometimes working together) may be the cause. That’s the bad news.
The good news is that if you check out the 10 leading causes below, by process of elimination, you might be able to get to the root of your own restless evenings — so that you can finally get the kind of quality rest that you well deserve.
1. Eating (Too) Late
GiphyLet’s start off with one that has a couple of layers to it. Although it is a good idea to not have a large meal less than two hours before turning in, some experts do say that a light snack that consists of natural melanin, serotonin or tryptophan could be helpful.
The reason why eating too much before bedtime isn’t a good idea is because the digestive process can be a pretty active one. Plus, it increases your chances of experiencing acid reflux and heartburn. On the other hand, snacking on almonds or tart cherries (melatonin), cheese or pumpkin seeds (serotonin) or yogurt or peanut butter (tryptophan) can be just what you need to lull your system to sleep.
Bottom line here: It’s not if you eat but what you eat…and when.
2. Junk Food
GiphySpeaking of foods, if junk food is totally your thing, first check out “Why You Should Consider Leaving Fast Food Alone” — and then at least try avoiding that stuff if you’re heading off to bed. Fried foods are hard to digest. Sugary foods (and carbs) can raise your blood sugar levels. Processed foods contain a lot of salt and salt can raise your blood pressure which can result in sleep disturbances. So, if you’re in the habit of going through a drive-thru at night, here’s a good reason to rethink doing so in the future.
3. Your Bedroom Is Too Hot
GiphyThis one right here, I can absolutely attest to — because when I am hot in a room, I can pretty much kiss sound sleeping goodbye. SMDH. The problem here is that when your body temperature is high, that can mess with your REM (rapid eye movement) sleep. Not only that but, in order for your system to produce the melatonin that it needs to keep you sleeping soundly, your body needs to be at a cooler temperature. And that is why your room sitting at somewhere around 65 degrees is ideal.
4. Your Bedding
GiphyI have a friend who just bought a house and I’m getting him a comforter for a housewarming present. Listen, don’t sleep on the power of amazing bedding because it, too, plays a role in how well you rest. Of course, you need to invest in a good mattress (you can read more about that here and here); however, when it comes to things like your sheets and your comforter, there are a few things to keep in mind.
Your sheets need to be made out of breathable fabrics like cotton, not ones like nylon, polyester or even silk. The reason why is because the latter traps in heat and we’ve already discussed what an elevated body temperature can do to you. Oh, and if you’re someone who enjoys flannel sheets during the fall and winter season, it’s probably better to get some blankets that you can “layer your bed” with instead; flannel can get mighty hot in the midnight hour too.
It’s also important that your sheets aren’t too small or too big for your mattress because that can make your bed feel uncomfortable. And comforter-wise, try and go with a color that doesn’t overstimulate you — neutrals and shades of blues, greens and yellows can accomplish this for you. And P.S., one of the best comforter brands around? Coma Inducer. I’ve been rocking with them for several years at this point and I don’t have not one regret.
5. Java and/or Alcohol
GiphyI’m not much of a coffee drinker (although I do adore coffee ice cream; go figure). I didn’t grow up with it (tea was in abundance in my home) and so it’s not something that I ever really think about. I do have friends who will drink coffee before bedtime, though, and that baffles me because coffee (due to the caffeine that is in it) is a stimulant — and that for that reason alone, you’d be better off having it in the morning instead of at night.
As far as alcohol goes, although it technically it’s a depressant, for the first couple of hours that it is in your system, it acts like a stimulant — which means that it tends to put your system on quite the roller coaster ride; one that you should want to avoid if you’re trying to get a good night’s rest.
My recommendation? Go the tea route and sip on some chamomile, lavender, ginseng, green or passionflower tea. All contain properties that are proven to relax your mind, body and spirit, so that you can fall asleep quicker and stay asleep longer.
6. Stress and Anxiety
GiphyListen, the summer of 2025 for me? Whew, chile (check out “I've Been Estranged From My Mom For Years. She Died Last Week.” and “I Was Hired To Be An Online Life Coach. Then Got Scammed For $4K. Here's How To Avoid This.”). Other than the couple of weeks when my mother was on a swift decline (and I was concerned about her physical suffering), thankfully, I didn’t lose much sleep, though — and praise the Lord for that because stress (and anxiety) definitely have a way of jacking up sleep patterns.
That’s because when you are stressed out, your cortisol (which is your stress hormone) spikes and that can hinder sound sleep — which can result in you feeling fatigued and irritable throughout the day. So, if you are stressed out — exercise, journal, meditate, spend quality time with fun and supportive people…oh, and have sex. All of these things are proven ways to calm and relax you — on a few different levels.
7. Late Day Naps
GiphyI adore sleep — always have. So, I can’t even say that it’s my age that has a sistah out here excited about taking a nap in the middle of the day (I work from home). And what I have to watch is not napping for too long or taking a nap that is too late in the day. Why? Because it can totally jack up my sleep patterns because it ends up throwing off my sleep schedule.
According to sleep experts, the way to avoid this is by scheduling your nap out about eight hours before your bedtime and also making sure that your nap doesn’t last any longer than 30 minutes (set an alarm, if you have to). If you do both of these things, you can get the benefits of a nap and the benefits of 6-8 hours of sleep without having to compromise either one.
8. Not Having a Sleep Schedule
GiphyAs humans, we really are creatures of habit. In fact, if you do something consistently enough, it can become automatic to you — it can end up being something that you do without really thinking about it at all. And that’s why it’s a good idea to at least consider coming up with some sort of a sleep schedule; that way, you can train your mind and body to have a pattern of rest.
The beauty of this is a sleep schedule can help you to reduce your stress levels, strengthen your brain, maintain a healthy weight, put you in a better mood and make you more productive throughout the day. On the other hand, not having a sleep schedule can make it really challenging for you to get quality rest at night. It only takes a few minutes to come up with a schedule and it’s well worth your time.
9. Too Much Stuff on Your Bed
GiphyEver heard that a cluttered desk reveals a cluttered mind? If you believe that, how in the world could this not translate to a bed as well? Hell, I even read an article which said that having a lot of stuff underneath your bed can wreck your sleep because it can trigger feelings of anxiety and restlessness and that’s because clutter can overstimulate you and keep you from being at peace.
Look, there’s no telling how many times I’ve said that bedrooms are for sex and sleep only (many interior designers feel the same way) — which means that your bed shouldn’t look like a makeshift office, it shouldn’t have clothes all over it and, even if you are an avid reader, it shouldn’t look like a horizontal bookshelf (where’s your nightstand at?).
You need to feel free to move comfortably about on your bed throughout the night — which ALSO means that, although I personally call pillows “stuffed animals for adults,” you still don’t need a ton of those on your bed either; two for sleeping and 2-3 more for décor purposes are typically ideal.
10. Your Damn Cell Phone
GiphyYou’ve probably heard this before and yet, since reportedly most of us check our phones somewhere around 205 times a day — I’m willing to bet that at least 10 of those times are while you’re in bed or when you’re up to make a bathroom run in the middle of the night. Yeah, as tempting as that might be, try to break that habit because the blue light that emits from your phone can disrupt how your system processes melatonin — and that is another way that you can find yourself really struggling to fall asleep again.
Whatever is on your phone, it can’t wait. It’s not worth your beauty sleep, chile.
BONUS: Imbalanced Hormones
GiphyHormonal imbalance is absolutely something that can have you tossing and turning all night long. If it’s due to all that is going on with you the week before your period, try exercising earlier in the day in order to help you sleep more soundly at night. If it’s because you are in the latter stages of perimenopause, consuming foods that are rich in phytoestrogens (plant-based estrogen) could help to level things out. Some of those foods include sesame seeds, garlic, peaches, berries and cabbage.
____
YOU NEED SLEEP. Yes, I am yelling it because nothing is worth compromising it.
So, if you see yourself in anything that I just said, try making some adjustments tonight.
Within a week or so, you should find yourself sleeping more and tossin’ and turnin’ a heck of a lot less.
Beautiful.
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