In About Face, xoNecole gets the 411 on IGers who give us #skincaregoals on the daily. Here they break down their beauty routines on the inside and out, as well as the highly coveted products that grace their shelves and their skin.
I had the pleasure of meeting Brooklyn-based creative Tauri Janeé when I was facilitating a conversation with her about the adultification of Black women during an online event curated by founder Yasmine Jameelah's organization, Transparent Black Girl. After speaking with the Black femme artist for nearly half an hour and doing a Zoom twerking session, I knew I had to speak with her about her glowing skin. Before we jumped into everything skincare, I wanted to know all about her career as a full-time creative and how it impacted her day-to-day life during the pandemic.
"I recently transitioned into being a full-time creative, meaning my income derives from the different creative projects I'm working on. Most of them are design-based which is affirming because I taught myself how to use Photoshop. I've also leaned further into influencing. I've always been intimidated by that career path, but quarantine has changed me," Tauri told xoNecole. "It's helped me realize how independent I can be and I've used that energy to invest further into my creative goals. In the past month, I've created more opportunities for myself than I ever did when I was a corporate girl."
In this installment of xoNecole's About Face, Tauri talks about a red lip boosting her confidence, using a face mask if she's feeling a little extra spicy for her skincare routine, and being inspired by Alicia Keys.
Her relationship with beauty and skincare…
"I'm still building a relationship with beauty and skincare. My high school prom may have been the last time I had on a full face of makeup. Right now, at this very moment, I still don't know the difference between primer and concealer. Growing up, the women in my family didn't place an emphasis on beauty. To this day, my grandmother will say things like, 'Who cares what other people think about how you look?' or 'Do whatever the [redacted] you want with your body!'"
My morning routine consists of...
"Unfortunately, I am one of those people who checks their phone first thing in the morning. I wish I could say I got up, drank green juice, then completed four sun salutations but that would be a lie. I also spend a good deal of time staring at the ceiling, trying to make sense of how every moment of my life has led to yet another day of me sleeping in until noon."
Tauri Janeé
My AM skincare routine looks like…
"When I remember to wash my face, I typically use Glossier's Milky Jelly Cleanser. I like it because it never leaves my face feeling stripped. It has a consistency that I've never felt in a face wash before. Afterwards, I use a toner from AMOREPACIFIC, followed by the Glossier Priming Moisturizer and an AMOREPACIFIC serum oil. My old job used to give away products that were gifted to us. I had to Google Amore Pacific and let's just say, when this batch is gone, ya girl does not have the budget to replenish it, ha!
"I'm always inclined to point out that I've been on birth control since I was a teenager and it has significantly influenced my skin. Often when people compliment my skin I respond with, 'Thanks, it's the hormones.' I don't say this as an advocate for taking birth control to manage your skin, but to highlight that it's not always about having the perfect product! Products I use during the day include Supergoop sunscreen, Glossier Rosewater Soothing Face Mist, Nivea Moisture Lip Care (this product has never failed me) and beauty supply store lip gloss."
My PM skincare routine looks like...
"If I'm feeling spicy, I'll apply a face mask. I like the Mask of Magnaminty from Lush."
How my skincare changes for the seasons…
"My skin gets so unbelievably dry in the winter. At that point, I'm practically inhaling moisturizers. My nose and lips suffer the most. I always make sure to moisturize them before bed. If not, I'll wake up with split skin to compliment the crust in my eyes."
My go-to makeup look consists of…
"I don't wear makeup. Every now and then, if I'm up for it, I'll throw on a red lip. My friends have a joke where they say, 'You know Tauri is feeling herself when the red lip comes out.' They aren't wrong. Nothing like the confidence that comes along with a red lip."
Tauri Janeé
How I approach beauty from the inside out…
"Drink water. I don't say this as a joke or to follow any trends. If I am not hydrated, I pass out. In grad school, I spent a day tanning in my backyard, only to faint on my kitchen floor later because I didn't drink enough water."
What self-care looks like to me…
"A good playlist, my journal, pastries and art."
My travel skincare routine looks like…
"My skincare routine goes out the window when I travel. How anyone can think of exfoliating while eating tapas on a foreign balcony is beyond me."
My earliest beauty memory…
"I used to rip pages of Alicia Keys out of magazines and show them to my godmother so she could recreate the hairstyles on me. Getting my hair braided are some of my earliest memories of feeling beautiful. I'd whine and cry throughout the process, but afterwards I would stand in front of the mirror in awe. I really felt like the girls on the cover of Vibe magazines. That's the power of representation.
"(P.S. There was a boy on my street who'd chase me around and say, 'Sing me a song, Alicia.' Shout out to him for gassing me!)"
For more Tauri, follow her on Instagram.
Featured image provided by Tauri Janeé
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The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:
Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
Momo Productions/Getty
Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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Featured image by Courtney Hale/Getty Images
