

Someone once told me that they use dental floss to cut their desserts. Y'all. When I heard that—and the person proved to me that doing it does indeed work—that inspired me to look up some other underrated approaches to food because, again, if folks are out here slicing up cake with floss, what else am I missing? What could I be sharing with others who enjoy food—whether it's eating it and/or preparing it—too?
So, let's do this. Here are 15 things that have revealed to me that I've either been consuming food or cooking it, not necessarily the wrong way but a way that is far less beneficial than what is listed below.
1. Kiwi
Aside from those semi-annoying tiny seeds in kiwi, I really like this particular fruit. Good thing too because it's high in vitamins C, E and K, fiber and antioxidants. In fact, what a lot of people don't know is kiwi not only supports digestion and boosts immunity but because of the high amount of Vitamin C that's in it, kiwi has the reputation for relieving asthma-related symptoms too. Anyway, while I won't be getting into all of the health benefits of every food mentioned in this article, I thought it was important to share this because the main way folks eat kiwi wrong. It's wrong because they remove the skin when it's actually the skin that contains the most nutrients. So, the next time you decide to have some kiwi, remember to keep the skin on. It's better for you that way.
2. Carrots
Most of us grew up hearing that carrots were good for our eyes. There is a lot of truth to that, thanks to all of the Vitamin A that's in them. Carrots also contain fiber, biotin, potassium, beta-carotene, Vitamin B6 and even some protein. All of this helps to lower your cholesterol levels, reduce your cancer risk and keep you regular.
If you happen to be like me and you prefer to snack on baby carrots, you might want to consider cooking them more often. The reason why is because, when carrots are cooked, it actually raises the level of carotenoids that are in them. This is cool news because carotenoids help to protect your skin from sun damage as well as strengthen your bones, boost your immunity and even give you a little more brain power.
So yeah, that kinda debunks the myth that all vegetables are better when they're raw…doesn't it?
3. Strawberries
Strawberries are a low-calorie way to get in some fiber, Vitamin C, folate, manganese, potassium, several plant compounds and even a little bit of protein into your system. Eat them consistently enough and you'll be doing your part to help to regulate your blood sugar levels, protect your heart and reduce your cancer risks. Well, that is if you eat your strawberries whole. Although a lot of us like to slice this particular fruit up, the reality is that strawberries are extremely sensitive to light and oxygen. So, when both hit them, they lose their potency rather quickly. That's why it's far better to just rinse them off and eat them as is. No knife needed.
4. Grilled Fish
Do you like the taste of grilled fish but hate the clean-up process that follows making it? Something that you can do to keep your fish from sticking to your grill while also giving it an amazing citrusy taste is to place your fish on a bed of sliced lemons and limes. It will make for a delightful tasting, softer fish that won't get all into your grates. (This one tripped me out a lot, actually.)
5. Yogurt
This point was definitely an ah-ha moment for me. Have you ever opened up a container of yogurt, seen that watery stuff in it and immediately poured it out? Yeah, try not to do that. Believe it or not, what you're looking at is whey protein which is an excellent source of protein (especially if you're a vegetarian or vegan).
As you may already know, protein helps to build muscle mass, keep your hair and nails nice and strong, lower your blood pressure, reduce bodily inflammation and can even help to treat type 2 diabetes. So, unless the yogurt you're about to eat has expired, mix the watery stuff in with it and eat it like you normally would. It will literally do your body good.
6. Cherries
Like cherries yet hate the pits of them? Here's a hack that can make eating them so much easier. Simply place a cherry "right side up" on an empty glass bottle (like a soda bottle). Then take a thin wooden chopstick and poke it through the top of the cherry. The pit will fall into the bottle and then you can enjoy your cherries with ease.
7. Black Tea
If you're a tea fan, I'm thinking that you've got some black tea somewhere in your collection. That's awesome because it's got a ton of antioxidants, it's good for your heart health, it helps to improve your gut health, lowers your blood pressure and can even reduce your chances of having a stroke. Just make sure that when you have a cup that you leave milk out of it. Interestingly enough, when you put milk into black tea, it can negatively alter the cardiovascular benefits that the tea can provide. That's because milk proteins literally make it more difficult for your system to absorb tea's vitamins and nutrients. Gee, just one more reason to consider going without dairy, huh?
8. Tomatoes
Tomatoes are the kind of fruit that's really good for you because it's a great source of vitamins C and K, fiber, potassium, protein, folate and lycopene (and antioxidants that fight heart disease, cancer and aging signs). It's also got 95 percent water in it which makes it the kind of food that helps to keep you hydrated from the inside out. Anyway, while most of us tend to eat tomatoes when they're raw, it's actually best if you consume them once they've been cooked. That's because the nutrients in them significantly increase if tomatoes are prepared at around 200 degrees (Fahrenheit).
9. Ice Cubes
Ever wonder why your ice cubes tend to look rather cloudy when you put them into your glasses? The workaround for that is to boil the water that you plan to put into your ice cubes.
That will help to get all of the impurities in the water out, so that your cubes will look crystal clear. How cool is that?
10. Eggs
I got rid of my own microwave several years ago. If you still have one, you're pressed for time in the morning, yet you would still like to have more than a cup of java on your way out of the door, DIY microwave omelet eggs taste pretty darn good. Just scramble a couple of eggs, add the other ingredients that you want and pour everything into a microwave-safe mug. Put it into the microwave on medium for 2-2 ½ minutes and you're good to go. Also, if you're looking for a way to keep your eggs perfectly round in your skillet (maybe for a sandwich or something), slice a couple of onions into some thick rings and place them into a hot pan that already has a bit of oil in it. Then crack your egg inside of the onion. Your egg will be round as the ring is. Perfect.
11. Avocados
I actually enjoy making my own guacamole. Problem is, the urge to eat some is pretty random and sometimes, when the craving hits, the avocados that I've bought aren't ripe enough yet. If you can totally relate, you can speed the process up by covering an avocado up in foil and placing it into your 200-degree oven for about an hour. Just make sure that you use it immediately because the "speed up process" does cause avocados to taste slightly different.
Come to think of it, another ripen hack is to pull off the stem of a fresh avocado. If after you do it, the avocado is still green, it's not ripe. If it's brown, it's over-ripened.
12. Garlic
One of the most potent natural medicines is garlic. Straight up. A part of the reason is thanks to the 33 different sulfur compounds that it contains. And while a lot of us already know that garlic is a wise thing to eat when we're feeling under the weather, many of us miss out on getting as much of its strength as we should because we're eating it all wrong. See, there's an enzyme in garlic known as allicin that actually gains its power by being exposed to the air. That's why, if you plan on cooking with garlic, it's best that you don't mince it and immediately put it into your pots and pains. Instead, crush or press the pods, let them sit for 10-15 minutes and then put them into your dishes. That way, you'll get more of the anti-inflammatory, anti-fungal, antiviral and antibacterial properties that garlic has to offer.
13. Bacon
Whether it's pork, turkey or my personal favorite beef bacon, here's a hack to keep in mind. If you'd prefer your bacon to appear nice 'n flat like it does in restaurants and on food blogs, opt for baking it instead of frying it. Simply lay your bacon on a baking sheet that's been covered with aluminum foil and set your oven to 350 degrees. In 15-20 minutes, you'll have crispy bacon. Plus, by going this route, you can bake a considerable amount of bacon at one time. Plus, it's healthier which is always a bonus.
14. Sushi
I know a lot of us like to look so extra when we're eating sushi (LOL). Here's the thing, though. Chopsticks are actually for classic sushi, not sushi rolls. Rolls we are supposed to eat with our hands. Know what else? Ginger and wasabi are never supposed to be combined with soy sauce. In fact, the actual purpose of ginger is to cleanse your palate. So, eat it first and then enjoy your sushi rolls. Again, with your fingers.
15. Cake
And now, the floss thing. Me? I like to bake. A lot, actually. The only thing that really gives me any anxiety about it is when it comes time to cut a cake (including a cheesecake). Sometimes the knife seems to do more harm than good. If you can totally relate, guess what hack will help you out? Dental floss. Yep, so long as it's unflavored (waxed is helpful, though) and you keep your hand steady the entire time, it can slice through your cake in a way that makes for a much cleaner cut. Hmph. Makes me wonder how many bakeries do this. I might call a couple of 'em up to see. Anyway, enjoy eating the "right" way, sis.
Join our xoTribe, an exclusive community dedicated to YOU and your stories and all things xoNecole. Be a part of a growing community of women from all over the world who come together to uplift, inspire, and inform each other on all things related to the glow up.
Featured image by Shutterstock
- The Ultimate Guide Of Trendy Foods To Enjoy This Spring - xoNecole ›
- 15 Foods That You Should Start Eating Less Of ASAP - xoNecole ... ›
- 15 Food & Kitchen Hacks For Food Prep - xoNecole: Women's ... ›
- 10 Foods That Boost Your Mood - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love ... ›
- A Guide To Eating Less Meat - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- 4. Eggplant - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney & Jill Marie Jones On 'Games Women Play' & Dating Over 40
What do you get when you mix unfiltered truths, high-stakes romance, and a few well-timed one-liners? You get Games Women Play—the sizzling new stage play by Je’Caryous Johnson that’s part relationship rollercoaster, part grown-woman group chat.
With a powerhouse cast that includes Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney, Jill Marie Jones, Carl Payne, Chico Bean, and Brian J. White, the play dives headfirst into the messy, hilarious, and heart-wrenching games people play for love, power, and peace of mind. And the women leading this story? They’re bringing their whole selves to the stage—and leaving nothing behind.
From Script to Spotlight
The road to Games Women Play started over 20 years ago—literally.
“This script was written 20 years ago,” Jill Marie Jones said with a smile. “It was originally called Men, Money & Gold Diggers, and I was in the film version. So when Je’Caryous called me to bring it to the stage, I was like, ‘Let’s go.’” Now reimagined for 2025, the play is updated with sharp dialogue and modern relationship dynamics that feel all too real.
Demetria McKinney, no stranger to Je’Caryous Johnson’s productions, jumped at the opportunity to join the cast once again. “This is my third time working with him,” she shared. “It was an opportunity to stretch. I’d never been directed by Carl Payne before, and the chance to work with talent I admire—Jill, Claudia, Chico—it was a no-brainer.”
Claudia Jordan joked that she originally saw the role as just another check. “I didn’t take it that seriously at first,” she admitted. “But this is my first full-on tour—and now I’ve got a whole new respect for how hard people work in theater. This ain’t easy.”
Modern Love, Stage Left
The play doesn’t hold back when it comes to the messier parts of love. One jaw-dropping moment comes when a live podcast proposal flips into a prenup bombshell—leaving the audience (and the characters) gasping.
Demetria broke it down with honesty. “People don’t ask the real questions when they date. Like, ‘Do you want kids? How do you feel about money?’ These convos aren’t happening, and then everyone’s confused. That moment in the play—it’s real. That happens all the time.”
Jill chimed in, noting how the play speaks to emotional disconnect. “We’re giving each other different tokens of love. Men might offer security and money. Women, we’re giving our hearts. But there’s a disconnect—and that’s where things fall apart.”
And then Claudia, of course, took it all the way there. “These men don’t even want to sign our prenups now!” she laughed. “They want to live the soft life, too. Wearing units, gloss, getting their brows done. We can’t have nothing! Y’all want to be like us? Then get a damn period and go through menopause.”
Dating Over 40: “You Better Come Correct”
When the conversation turned to real-life relationships, all three women lit up. Their experiences dating in their 40s and 50s have given them both clarity—and zero tolerance for games.
“I feel sexier than I’ve ever felt,” said Jill, who proudly turned 50 in January. “I say what I want. I mean what I say. I’m inside my woman, and I’m not apologizing for it.”
Demetria added that dating now comes with deeper self-awareness. “Anybody in my life is there because I want them there. I’ve worked hard to need nobody. But I’m open to love—as long as you keep doing what got me there in the first place.”
For Claudia, the bar is high—and the peace is priceless. “I’ve worked hard for my peace,” she said. “I’m not dating for food. I’m dating because I want to spend time with you. And honestly, if being with you isn’t better than being alone with my candles and fountains and cats? Then no thanks.”
Channeling Strength & Icon Status
Each actress brings something different to the play—but all of them deliver.
“I actually wish I could be messier on stage,” Claudia joked. “But I think about my grandmother—she was born in 1929, couldn’t even vote or buy a house without a man, and didn’t give a damn. She was fearless. That’s where my strength comes from.”
For Jill, the comparisons to her iconic Girlfriends character Toni Childs aren’t far off—but this role gave her a chance to dig deeper. “If you really understood Toni, you’d see how layered she was. And Paisley is the same—misunderstood, but strong. There’s more to her than people see at first glance.”
Demetria, who juggles singing and acting seamlessly, shared that live theater pushes her in a new way. “Every moment on stage counts. You can’t redo anything. It’s a different kind of love and discipline. You have to give the performance away—live, in the moment—and trust that it lands.”
Laughter, Lessons & Black Girl Gems
The show has plenty of laugh-out-loud moments—and the cast isn’t shy about who steals scenes.
“Chico Bean gets a lot of gasps and laughs,” Claudia said. “And Naomi Booker? Every scene she’s in—she’s hilarious.”
But the play isn’t just about humor. It leaves space for reflection—especially for Black women.
“I hope we get back to the foundation of love and communication,” said Demetria. “A lot of us are in protector mode. But that’s turned into survival mode. We’ve lost softness. We’ve lost connection.”
Claudia agreed. “We’re doing it all—but it’s not because we want to be strong all the time. It’s because we have to be. And I just want women to know: You can have peace, you can be soft. But stop bringing your old pain into new love. Don’t let past heartbreak build walls so high that the right person can’t climb over.”
Final Act: Pack the House
If there’s one thing this cast agrees on, it’s that this play isn’t just entertainment—it’s necessary.
“Atlanta is the Black entertainment hub,” Claudia said. “We need y’all to show up for this play. Support the arts. Support each other. Because when we pack the house, we make space for more stories like this.”
Games Women Play is more than a play—it’s a mirror. You’ll see yourself, your friends, your exes, and maybe even your next chapter. So get ready to laugh, reflect, and maybe even heal—because the games are on.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image courtesy
What Is A Mother Wound? Signs You May Have One & How To Heal
I didn’t know I had a mother wound until my therapist named it for me.
I had been describing a pattern of emotional unavailability in my choice of partners as a commonality between them. I told him how there was often a physical presence but also one paired with an emotional distance. I expressed that I felt inclined to be the "reasonable" one in my relationships. Easy to love, eager to please, emotionally contained. He gently gave me language, but some I wasn’t expecting: “It sounds like a mother wound.” That statement helped me connect so many dots, but at the same time, I asked him, "But, how?"
My mother is there for me. My mother is a home for me. My mother loves me. What I learned was that a mother wound doesn’t always have to come from abuse, neglect, or other forms of toxicity. Sometimes it comes from a very human mother who is doing her best in all of the ways you could ever ask her to and even in ways you couldn’t, but one who is also emotionally unavailable, overly critical, or dependent on you to meet her needs. (Parentification, party of one.)
My mother wound took form not because she was unloving, but because she was often emotionally unavailable. As a single mother of three and a mother to countless others working in education, she carried the weight of everything. And while I’ve always admired her strength and loved her deeply, I now understand that some of my emotional patterns were shaped by the love I craved but didn’t always feel. She is an amazing mother, and I still have a mother wound. I hold space for both truths because they both deserve space.
If you’ve ever struggled with the ability to self-soothe, people-pleasing, low self-worth, or emotional boundaries, your mother wound may still be calling the shots in your life and your adult relationships. To learn more about what the mother wound is, how it shows up, and how to start healing it, keep reading.
What Is a Mother Wound?
A mother wound refers to the behavioral patterns, emotional pain, and belief systems derived from the relationships we have with our mothers or maternal figures. It's an attachment wound that is not always caused by overt harm. Sometimes mother wounds stem from emotional absence or a lack of emotional support, criticism, passive-aggression, control, co-dependency, or a feeling that you had to earn love by being self-sacrificing or self-sufficient, "easy," or helpful.
The wound is less about pointing fingers at who to blame and more about having awareness around where your needs were left unmet, and how that impacted the way you show up in the world.
Trauma Integration Coach Ally described the impact of such a wound perfectly. In an Instagram caption, she wrote, "When there has been mother wounding, the heart defends itself and tries to close. Our whole system lives in a state of contraction and unsafety, depleted of love, nurturance, and connection."
That "state of contraction and unsafety" she refers to can look like:
- Feeling emotionally guarded, even with people you love
- Struggling to trust your needs or believe you’re allowed to take up space
- Over-functioning in relationships or assuming the role of caregiver/fixer
- Having chronically anxious or hyper-independent nervous system states (i.e., never letting yourself rest or receive)
While these patterns are often unconscious, they have the potential to quietly shape everything, from your self-worth to your romantic relationships.
The Types of Mother Wounds
5 Types of Mother Wounds You Should Know About
While everyone's experience is unique to them, some types of mother wounds show up more commonly than others. According to The Mother Wound Project, there are seven types of mother wounds, but I've also seen sources that say they are as many as 15. Because mother wounds are complex and can originate from different behaviors experienced in a mother-child relationship, it is possible to have multiple types of mother wounds depending on the parent.
To begin healing your mother wound(s), it is helpful to identify the type of mother wound you may be carrying and how it might be playing out in your life today. Check out a few of the more common ones below.
The Abandonment Wound
If your mother was physically or emotionally unavailable, or even absent from your life altogether, you might have an abandonment wound. Perhaps she worked a lot, struggled with her own mental health, or was unable to attune to your emotional needs. As a result, you might have felt unheard, unseen, or like your feelings weren't important.
How it manifests:
- Attracting unavailable or avoidant partners
- Struggling to ask for help or trust others
- Having a fear of rejection, or like you're "too much"
The Criticism Wound
If your mother had impossibly high expectations for you, was overly critical, or was a perfectionist who wanted you to follow suit, it's possible you internalized a harsh inner critic. Love might have felt conditional, like it had to be earned through success by way of accomplishments, accolades, and achievements, or through being compliant, easy, or needless.
How it manifests:
- Feeling like you're not "doing enough," not now, not ever
- Struggling with impostor syndrome or chronic self-doubt
- Fearing you might make the "wrong" choice, or that you'll fail
The Enmeshment Wound
For many with mother wounds, it’s not just about what was lacking or missing, but instead how closely they were tied to their mother’s emotional world. This is where emotional enmeshment enters the chat. This can look like little to no emotional separation between you and your mother, where boundaries between the two of you become so blurred that you don't know where her needs and feelings end and where yours begin.
If you felt responsible for your mother’s mood, well-being, comfort, or approval as a child, you might have an enmeshment wound.
How it manifests:
- Feeling guilty when setting boundaries
- People-pleasing in relationships or anxious attachment
- Difficulty when deciphering what it is you want in life (Read: "Living Your Best Life Actually Looks Like Decentering Your Mother")
The Emotional Neglect Wound
A quieter wound, but felt nonetheless. An emotional neglect wound develops when your emotional needs are constantly overlooked, minimized, or rarely fully acknowledged. Your mother might have been there physically or provided for you through material things, but she rarely asked you how you felt, let alone validated your emotions or created space for vulnerability.
How it manifests:
- Feeling like your feelings are a burden instead of a gift
- Difficulty expressing your emotions or naming them
- Feelings of emptiness or disconnection even in close relationships
The Invalidation Wound
If you grew up feeling like your experiences, perceptions, or feelings were belittled, you're not alone. You're one of many with an invalidation wound. This type of wound originates from having your reality dismissed or constantly questioned. Your feelings could have been labeled as "dramatic," your truths might have been denied or invalidated, and your experiences might have been minimized.
With time, this behavioral pattern impacts you by causing deep confusion around what you believe you are "allowed" to feel and your overall sense of self.
How it manifests:
- Struggling with conflict or trusting your voice
- Second-guessing your instincts or questioning your reality
- Feeling gaslit even in safe relationships
How to Heal Your Mother Wound
As previously mentioned, healing a mother wound is not about blaming your mother, it’s about tending to the parts of you that didn’t get what they needed way back when. It’s about creating emotional safety, clarity, and self-connection, often for the first time. And you don't need anyone's permission to do it, just the courage to start. Here’s where to begin:
1. Acknowledge what you needed but didn't get: You're allowed to name the emotional gaps that were and are still very real for you. And you're allowed to do so without guilt. Awareness is the first step in the healing and reclamation of your voice.
2. Self-parent yourself: Speak to yourself with the softness, nurturance, love, and validation you once craved. You can affirm yourself, you can meet your needs, you can reparent your inner child. You can remind yourself that you have the power and you can choose how to go about wielding it. Self-mothering is one of the ways to do this.
3. Set compassionate boundaries: You don't have to cut your mother out of your life if you don't feel called to, but it's important to remember that setting boundaries is about protecting your peace, not punishing your mother. If you need to create some space while choosing peace over performance, do that. And do so with compassion.
4. Hold your grief without shame: Even if your mother did her best, you're allowed to grieve the mother you wished you had. Honor that loss as the act of liberation it is.
5. Redefine what mothering looks like to you: Yes, you're every woman, and it's all in you, but we weren't born to do life alone, hence the need for love and connection. If your mother can't meet those needs, open yourself up to receiving love from other places and sources.
Let yourself be nurtured by friendships, chosen family, therapy, and nature. You're worth it.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Shutterstock