

I've had my fair share of dating abroad stories. For one year, I traveled the world from Mexico to Dubai, and as a 20-something, I’ve fully embraced my single nomadic lifestyle. This past year allowed me to get to know myself on a deeper level, experience new cultures, trust in God's timing for my life, and ultimately avoid rushing toward the forever my heart desires.
From cute museum dates in London to grabbing drinks in Mexico City and walking the boardwalks in Curacao, dating abroad has allowed me to explore and expand my mind. Of course, there was also the time in Puerto Escondido when my surf instructor picked me up on the back of his motorcycle, and we drove around at night, played pool, danced, and talked on my porch until 2 a.m.
My dating life in the U.S. was pretty stagnant, and I've found that dating overseas has allowed me to be more adventurous and open-minded regarding my love life. My main tip for dating is to trust that God is not limited by location. But don't just take my word for it. I chatted with a few other Black women travelers to get their advice and tips on dating in foreign lands and how to thrive while doing so:
Amber C. Edwards, Relocation Specialist and Creator of The L.I.T. House
Courtesy of Amber C. Edwards
xoNecole: What's the best way to meet potential dates when traveling?
Amber: WhatsApp groups are like a secret society overseas, and what’s great about these groups is they are often a large group for expats or Black expats, but also are segmented into different lifestyles so you can search for groups of activities you like or want to learn like dancing or language exchange, or that you already do, like vegan restaurants and LGBTQ+ meetups. That way you can meet people who you already have something in common with and then meet their friends and grow your potential dating pool.
How did your travel journey begin?
Amber: I was planning a program for Black women who wanted to live outside the U.S. At the time, I had lived in the Middle East and the Caribbean for over two years, received my dual citizenship from Antigua and Barbuda (where my Dad is from), and was able to combine my previous experiences in creating business systems for solo entrepreneurs to partner with travel groups and companies coming into and out of Antigua.
Then in January 2021, I launched The L.I.T. (Local In Training) House as an overseas group transition house for Black women who want a more streamlined way to test out overseas life with a built-in community.
Courtesy of Amber C. Edwards
What has been your experience with dating abroad?
Amber: As a relocation specialist for Black women, around 65% of my clients are single and solo Black women and a majority of those women are interested in dating and have dated while overseas. Initially they take the traumas from their U.S. dating life into their new life, but as they adjust to their new city, they learn to open their horizons to different cultures and mindsets than they have experienced before in the past, especially in the larger cities like México City which has a large Black expat and global community. I’ve had clients who have gotten into relationships and even created a new life while overseas, and now her baby can have two passports!
What advice would you give to others who want to date abroad?
Amber: Be open and take your time to figure out who you are in your new environment. Living overseas allows you to address and leave your baggage back in your home city, so spend some alone time in the beginning of your move abroad so you can figure out just who you are, what kind of life you want to create, and what type of people you want to exchange energy with.
How did your travel journey begin?
Tiffany: I was living on the south side of Chicago navigating the riots and pandemic blues. Do you remember those loud booms and firecrackers in the middle of the night? At that moment, I said, 'I gotta get the f-ck out of here for a couple of weeks.' So I left for Playa Del Carmen and ended up in Tulum for two months. I returned to Chicago to put my things in storage and never looked back. It's been two years of exploring 15 cities in Mexico, and I finally decided to be an official resident in Mexico City.
What was your experience dating abroad?
Tiffany: It’s been a fun, exciting, crazy whirlwind, navigating cultural differences and learning more about other cultures. Mexico City is a global community, so you meet people from all over the world. It was my first time dating outside of my race. I figured the world would end soon, so I might as well do things I've never done before. I wish that I had been more open before.
Courtesy of Tiffany Tapley
How do you feel like dating abroad differs from dating in the States?
Tiffany: In my experience, dates are more intentional, and men communicate how they feel. In the States, you are lost in a sea of 'wyd'ing' texts and 'What you up to?''Here, men are direct and make dinner reservations and creative dates. They're more traditional and will let you know they will protect and provide. Both men and women are so guarded in the States. It's been hard for me to connect there because it's always based on superficial checklists instead of someone's character, and we're supposed to accept the least and give so much of our hearts.
The cultural difference from a Mexico City perspective is that Mexicans are very kind and giving. They lead with their heart, so at first, it was uncomfortable for me to date because I had this American side-eye and I'm letting go of it. On the flip side, as Black American women, we may not be used to someone pouring out their heart so soon, so it's easy to get attached quickly. Mexican men are the ultimate love bombers, just go in having fun and enjoy yourself.
Can you share a time when you stepped outside your comfort zone with dating abroad and the results of that?
Tiffany: Yes. I met a cute Argentinian guy who took me to a private club with a stripper pole, and he jumped up on it and slid down into a split. I was intrigued and got competitive and realized he was better on the pole than me. We went out a few times, but unfortunately, his sexual preferences did not match mine, and he got upset when I asked if he was in a sex cult. We never spoke again, but he inspired me to sign up for pole dancing classes. It worked out for both of us.
How did your travel journey begin?
Sharita: My travel journey began in 2018 when I first moved away from the U.S. to Medellin, Colombia. I moved there mostly to learn Spanish and to just experience life somewhere new. I also chose Medellin because it was popular among other “digital nomads” and it had a thriving Black expat population.
What advice would you give to others who want to date abroad?
Sharita: When dating abroad, trust your gut. Don’t be afraid to try new things, but never second guess your instincts if you get a bad feeling. I’ve said yes to taking a motorcycle ride through the mountains with a man in Antigua, Guatemala because I felt safe with him after a few dates. On the other hand, I’ve just as quickly said no guys who just rubbed me the wrong way. If anything in my gut feels off, I don’t wait to find out why on the date. I just say no or block numbers and move on.
What safety tips do you have for women dating abroad?
Sharita: I have a lot of tricks up my sleeve. I might make some crazy decisions on dates, but I always have safety in the back of my mind:
All first dates should be in a very public place. While I love for a guy to choose the date, I might say that I prefer to be in XYZ area where there are lots of tourists or just lots of people which means I can leave if I need to, or get help in a worst-case scenario.
Share your location with someone who is local. If I’m staying in an Airbnb, I’ll ask my host, when friendly, if I can send them my location while I’m on a date. At a minimum, I’ll drop a pin and say, “I’m here with a new guy.” And especially if my host is female, they know exactly what’s up. I’ve had Airbnb hosts really look out for me, and offer to come pick me up if I felt unsafe on a date (in Guatemala and Mexico).
If riding with someone, share license plate info and your date’s name. In a rare case, if I’m getting into a date’s car, I take a photo of their license and send their name to a friend. I know it’s a bit much, but you just never know. I even let the guy know so he’s on notice that I’m not to be messed with!
Be sparse with your traveling details. Of course, like any solo female traveler, I don’t share everything about my travel situation upfront. I always say that I’m traveling with friends and I don’t share where I live until I feel safe with them, if ever.
How do you think dating abroad differs from dating in the States?
Sharita: For me, dating abroad has been better, mostly due to my attitude. As a woman who’s new to a city or country, I’m much more open and vulnerable than I am at home. I have to rely on my dates to show me around, teach me things about the culture or language, and it really makes me a better dater, in my opinion. So I lean into this “foreigner advantage” as much as possible.
Another difference that I’ve noticed is how much (or little) Black women are appreciated from place to place. I’ve gone from feeling completely overlooked in Medellin, to feeling like I was Beyoncé in Playa Del Carmen and Mexico City. And years ago in Madrid, Spain, the local men treated me as though I was a prostitute when I’d walk through the streets in my business attire. So, location can make all the difference in the overall dating experience.
Courtesy of Sharita Jennings
What's been your favorite destination to date abroad?
Sharita: When I was in Latin America, Mexico was my favorite place to date. It may be the proximity to the U.S. that helps, but I really enjoyed the dating scene there. And most importantly, in Mexico, unlike many parts of the world, my Blackness felt like an advantage. I genuinely felt appreciated for being darker skinned, and I never felt fetishized, in my personal experience.
Share a time when you stepped outside your comfort zone while dating abroad and the results.
Sharita: What I’m most proud of in my time dating abroad, is attempting to date completely in Spanish. When I first moved to Colombia, I had a disadvantage by not speaking the language well. But when I moved to Mexico City for the first time in 2019, I wrote all my dating profiles in Spanish (with a note that I was still learning) and wrote all my messages in my imperfect Spanish. I’d even work with my Spanish tutor to cover dating topics and situations. The experience was thrilling and turned out so much better than I could have imagined. Again, I became more vulnerable as I had to rely on my dates to help me out with the language and they had to show a lot of patience as I tried to express myself in 2nd-grade level Spanish.
Overall, it was a great way to meet new people, have unique experiences, and improve my Spanish. I would 10/10 recommend trying to date in another language even if you just have a basic level. Perhaps seek out dates who also speak English so you can fall back on that when needed.
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Adrian Marcel On Purpose, Sacrifice, And The 'Signs Of Life'
In this week's episode of xoMAN, host Kiara Walker talked with R&B artist Adrian Marcel, who opened up, full of heart and authenticity, about his personal evolution. He discussed his days transitioning from a young Bay Area singer on the come-up to becoming a grounded husband and father of four.
With honesty and introspection, Marcel reflected on how life, love, and loss have shaped the man he is today.
On ‘Life’s Subtle Signals’
Much of the conversation centered around purpose, sacrifice, and listening to life’s subtle signals. “I think that you really have to pay attention to the signs of life,” Marcel said. “Because as much as we need to make money, we are not necessarily on this Earth for that sole purpose, you know what I mean?” While he acknowledged his ambitions, adding, “that is not me saying at all I’m not trying to ball out,” he emphasized that fulfillment goes deeper.
“We are here to be happy. We are here [to] fulfill a purpose that we are put on here for.”
On Passion vs. Survival
Adrian spoke candidly about the tension between passion and survival, describing how hardship can sometimes point us away from misaligned paths. “If you find it’s constantly hurting you… that’s telling you something. That’s telling you that you’re going outside of your purpose.”
Marcel’s path hasn’t been without detours. A promising athlete in his youth, he recalled, “Early on in my career, I was still doing sports… I was good… I had a scholarship.” An injury changed everything. “My femur broke. Hence why I always say, you know, I’m gonna keep you hip like a femur.” After the injury, he pivoted to explore other careers, including teaching and corporate jobs.
“It just did not get me—even with any success that happened in anything—those times, back then, I was so unhappy. And you know, to a different degree. Like not just like, ‘I really want to be a singer so that’s why I’m unhappy.’ Nah, it was like, it was not fulfilling me in any form or fashion.”
On Connection Between Pursuing Music & Fatherhood
He recalled performing old-school songs at age 12 to impress girls, then his father challenged him: “You can lie to these girls all you want, but you're really just lying to yourself. You ain't growing.” That push led him to the piano—and eventually, to his truth. “Music is my love,” Marcel affirmed. “I wouldn’t be a happy husband if I was here trying to do anything else just to appease her [his wife].”
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
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Self-Validation, No Meals After 5 P.M. & The Wellness Rituals That Helped Lizzo Take Her Power Back
Don't let the "weight release" fool you, Lizzo's transformation wasn't just physical. It was spiritual, emotional, and deeply personal. In her Women's Health cover story, the "Good As Hell" artist opened up about the low point that became the catalyst for radical change in her life, inside and out.
In the summer of 2023, Lizzo found herself at the center of what she calls painful allegations when some of her former dancers filed a lawsuit against her. The 37-year-old singer has denied their claims, and though she has experienced "backlash my entire career," going through such legal woes coupled with public scrutiny proved to be detrimental to her mental health, leading her to one of the darkest periods of her life.
She told Women's Health, "I got very paranoid and isolated. I wasn’t even talking to my therapist. I wasn’t present. I wasn’t open. I wasn’t myself anymore."
After spending months in isolation, Lizzo, whose real name is Melissa Viviane Jefferson, decided to go to a tour stop on the Renaissance World Tour. She was nervous that the public would shun her, boo her, or reject her, but instead, she was embraced. It shifted something in her and after feeling so in the dark, she saw the light again. "It made me feel like, wow, maybe I don’t want to die," she shared with Women's Health.
"That was the kick-starter to me being like, ‘Okay, Melissa, get your ass in gear and take your f*cking life back.’"
Her first step in Operation Get Your Life Back? Cutting out the external noise. She gave her team total control of her social media and stopped looking at comments. "My validation was from external sources, people telling me they loved me, or that I look good, and accepting me," she explained. "But if that’s all I’m getting my validation from, when it changes—and it will, because people are not always going to like you—what happens? Where are you going to get your love from?"
Lizzo continued, "I can convince myself that I’m beautiful, my body fine, no matter how big or small. But reminding myself that you can’t let others tell you who you are—that was hard work."
Lizzo started going to therapy again, she started practicing quigong meditation, reading books, journaling, and doing sound baths. She released unhealthy relationships, drank echinacea tea, and began incorporating Pilates as a means to "feel sacred" and "be gentle" with herself.
But what many have interpreted as a "weight loss transformation" after she popped out sharing she met her "weight release" goal earlier this year, Lizzo has clarified that it has been something deeper for her than the aesthetic of a smaller body. "I wanted to be big-girl skinny," she told the mag. "Every big girl knows what I’m talking about. Big-girl skinny is 250 pounds." According to her, it was her back issues that inspired her to take the physical part of her wellness journey seriously.
I DID IT! #weightrelease
@lizzo I DID IT! #weightrelease
Through her friend Kelly Rowland, she linked up with her now-trainer Marvin Telp and developed a fitness regimen that prioritized strength and intention. Her weekly schedule now includes moves like single-leg deadlifts, reverse flies, and lateral lunges, along with infrared sauna sessions and cardio. Add to that a change in eating habits after realizing her vegan diet no longer served her (to be fair, she wasn't doing the vegan thing the "healthiest" way).
All the meat substitutes, bread, cashew cheese, and soy left her bloated and lightheaded, so now she's switched things up a bit to fill the nutritional gaps. When it comes to diet, it's heavy on the protein and vegetables for Lizzo. A typical day eating looks like scrambled eggs and cauliflower hash browns for breakfast, Thai chicken salad or lettuce wraps for lunch, and turkey meatloaf with greens for dinner.
She also has a strict cutoff of no meals after 5 p.m. to support her GERD and give her body the time it needs before bed to digest her food sans the acid reflux. Of her relationship with food and wellness, she told Women's Health, "There's a balance. I think that's what true health is."
Read Lizzo's full cover story with Women's Health here.
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