Brian J. White has been a consistent face in so many of our favorite series and films. I still remember his character's crazy but sexy relationship with Olivia Pope on Scandal. And who can forget him repping the Theta's in the college classic Stomp the Yard
Well, today, he's gearing up for the release of a new one, Ambitions (which makes its premiere Tuesday, June 18 on OWN). The story digs into how far people will go to make their desires come true, even when it endangers their relationships and more. Brian has a juicy storyline playing Atlanta Mayor Evan Lancaster, who is very dedicated to his own aspirations. But in real life, the 46-year-old is a successful happily married family man with a passionate perspective on ambition and relationships.
In our chat, we discussed his views on career-focused women, marriage, and advice for singles and serious couples alike.
In your own words, what makes an individual ambitious?
I don't think ambition is connected to achievement, I think it's a desire or want. Every person on earth has ambitions but not many achieve them because of what it takes. Ambitions explores what's required. It portrays those that achieve it, those that struggle with it, and everything in between.
What do you think about the theory that people should be with someone who matches them, in reference to achievements, finances, education, and etc?
I think that's a misuse of the word, "matches them" could be exchanged for "suits." Some people think if they're a doctor they should be with a doctor, or if they're a lawyer they should be with a lawyer. They want someone "on their level" and I think that's why a lot of people aren't in the right relationships. They've put boxes on a potential prospect that could fulfill them based off on what they think their soulmate should be. Get rid of the boxes. The tighter they are, the less likely you are to meet the actual fit for you. Our partners are complements of us; they're not mirrors. If you're meeting someone you can already conceptualize, they're adding nothing to your life.
Courtesy of Brian J. White
"Get rid of the boxes. The tighter they are, the less likely you are to meet the actual fit for you. Our partners are complements of us; they're not mirrors."
When you met your wife, were there characteristics you were looking for, or personality traits you felt suited you?
I was not looking at all, and she had just gotten out of a long-term relationship and didn't want to date either. My dad always told me, "Wait until you just can't stay away from someone. Never go looking for a relationship when you're a young and successful man. Wait until someone comes and derails you off the path." When I met my wife, I kept hearing his voice saying, "This is the one." So, I started changing my life to prepare and be everything I felt she deserved in a partner. What was most attractive about my wife was that she wasn't interested in me. She was a corporate woman who was very into her career, and I was a little actor guy (laughs). We just became best friends first and everything fell into place.
With her being so career-focused, do you think her ambition was part of the attraction?
Absolutely. I have five younger sisters who all have their degrees. They are five black, beautiful, strong, and educated women. When I was at Dartmouth, one of the things the women were proud about and would openly discuss was that they didn't have to necessarily use their degree. They would go to Dartmouth and then law school and knew they could make millions or become President, but also desired marriage and family. I saw that in my wife, she didn't need to be in the position she's in, she wanted to be. That was very attractive to me. Also, that she wasn't looking to date. I met her at my home. I was living with a female housemate (separate floors) and she simply came over to visit one day for dinner, we met casually.
Interesting, so when women exude that they’re looking to date, is that a turn-off?
For me, yes. I think a woman's most attractive state is when she's doing her thing. You see her pride, beauty, elegance, and everything. It might be a lunch break from her business or art job. That's when she's most powerful. When you're at the club for example, it's like an African Serengeti, everything is a target and you're out there with a gun. Any of those typical situations, like dating apps, you're assuming no emotional connection. Unless your true goal is only physical, the best place to meet people is in their natural life. Like when I met Paula, I was at home.
Courtesy of Brian J. White
"I think a woman's most attractive state is when she's doing her thing. You see her pride, beauty, elegance, and everything. That's when she's most powerful."
How did you know she was the one?
My Dad passed last year, and I included this story in his eulogy. He used to have these sayings, two-word sayings. One was, "you'll know." Well, Paula and I had been dating a few years and it was going well. We had talked about long-term but hadn't got to marriage. Anyway, one day we were sleeping and suddenly, I'm awakened to this booming voice of my dad saying, "Jodi (he used to call me Jodi), you'll know."
I’m a sap, so I’m loving this. But I must ask, what were some of the hardships and struggles you two went through?
Travel and separation for sure. The first time I worked with Boris and Nicole they taught me about the two-week rule. What makes couples not work is distance. You're not familiar with each other and you end up starting the dating process over and over again rather than furthering it. So, my wife and I ended up with the 10-day rule for most of my career, and we've maintained it. We almost always travel as a family.
If you could give a piece of advice to couples looking to make the step toward marriage, what would it be?
Well, make sure you're doing it for the right reasons. It's a partnership and a contract. Make sure you know about each other's health, debt, and credit issues. What do you each own? Do you want kids, what religion are you raising them? Are you both social? Do you like to smoke weed and drink whiskey, your partner may need to know that. Long-term, all these things matter. And you must talk about all of it before you get married.
You can catch Brian J. White starring in Will Packer's Ambitions coming June 18 to the OWN Network.
For even more of him, follow him on Instagram.
Featured image courtesy of Brian J. White
Kirby Carroll grew up in VA but now calls Atlanta, GA home. She has a passion for creating content and helping brands grow through storytelling and public relations. When not immersed in work, you can find her sipping a mimosa at brunch or bingeing a new TV drama on Netflix. Keep up with her on social media at @askKirbyCarroll.
This article is in partnership with Sensodyne.
Our teeth are connected to so many things - our nutrition, our confidence, and our overall mood. We often take for granted how important healthy teeth are, until issues like tooth sensitivity or gum recession come to remind us. Like most things related to our bodies, prevention is the best medicine. Here are five things you can do immediately to improve your oral hygiene, prevent tooth sensitivity, and avoid dental issues down the road.
1) Go Easy On the Rough Brushing: Brushing your teeth is and always will be priority number one in the oral hygiene department. No surprises there! However, there is such a thing as applying too much pressure when brushing…and that can lead to problems over time. Use a toothbrush with soft bristles and brush in smooth, circular motions. It may seem counterintuitive, but a gentle approach to brushing is the most effective way to clean those pearly whites without wearing away enamel and exposing sensitive areas of the teeth.
2) Use A Desensitizing Toothpaste: As everyone knows, mouth pain can be highly uncomfortable; but tooth sensitivity is a whole different beast. Hot weather favorites like ice cream and popsicles have the ability to trigger tooth sensitivity, which might make you want to stay away from icy foods altogether. But as always, prevention is the best medicine here. Switching to a toothpaste like Sensodyne’s Sensitivity & Gum toothpaste specifically designed for sensitive teeth will help build a protective layer over sensitive areas of the tooth. Over time, those sharp sensations that occur with extremely cold foods will subside, and you’ll be back to treating yourself to your icy faves like this one!
3) Floss, Rinse, Brush. (And In That Order!): Have you ever heard the saying, “It’s not what you do, but how you do it”? Well, the same thing applies to taking care of your teeth. Even if you are flossing and brushing religiously, you could be missing out on some of the benefits simply because you aren’t doing so in the right order. Flossing is best to do before brushing because it removes food particles and plaque from places your toothbrush can’t reach. After a proper flossing sesh, it is important to rinse out your mouth with water after. Finally, you can whip out your toothbrush and get to brushing. Though many of us commonly rinse with water after brushing to remove excess toothpaste, it may not be the best thing for our teeth. That’s because fluoride, the active ingredient in toothpaste that protects your enamel, works best when it gets to sit on the teeth and continue working its magic. Rinsing with water after brushing doesn’t let the toothpaste go to work like it really can. Changing up your order may take some getting used to, but over time, you’ll see the difference.
4) Stay Hydrated: Upping your water supply is a no-fail way to level up your health overall, and your teeth are no exception to this rule. Drinking water not only helps maintain a healthy pH balance in your mouth, but it also washes away residue and acids that can cause enamel erosion. It also helps you steer clear of dry mouth, which is a gateway to bad breath. And who needs that?
5) Show Your Gums Some Love: When it comes to improving your smile, you may be laser-focused on getting your teeth whiter, straighter, and overall healthier. Rightfully so, as these are all attributes of a megawatt smile; but you certainly don’t want to leave gum health out of the equation. If you neglect your gums, you’ll start to notice the effects of plaque buildup, which can irritate the gums and cause gingivitis, the earliest stage of gum disease. Seeing blood while brushing and flossing is a tell-tale sign that your gums are suffering. You may also experience gum recession — a condition where the gum tissue surrounding your teeth pulls back, exposing more of your tooth. Brushing at least twice a day with a gum-protecting toothpaste like Sensodyne Sensitivity and Gum, coupled with regular dentist visits, will keep your gums shining as bright as those pearly whites.
If there’s one part of the face that seems to be the most vexing to correct, it’s the under eyes.
This delicate area has a way of being tipped off by our irregular sleep patterns, stress, and the straining that comes from our computers and phone screens. From puffiness to dark circles, it can be irksome to find the right products to soothe our under-eye concerns. Thankfully, there’s one solution that delivers a brighter and more awakened look over time, and that’s under-eye masks and eye patches.
Eye patches are giving our under-eye bags an eviction notice because they can’t hang our glowing faces rent-free. The beauty of these patches is that they are designed to bring your eyes targeted results through concentrated doses of active ingredients directly to the skin under the eyes. Typically made of thin, gel-like material and infused with ingredients like niacinamide, hyaluronic acid, caffeine, and even green teas, these small but mighty patches depuff your puffiness, brighten your dark circles, or tighten fine lines.
While every under-eye differs in its needs, every eye can benefit from an under-eye mask or patch that suits its concerns. And to help, we’ve put together the best under-eye patches to hydrate, soothe, and brighten your eyes.
The KNC Beauty All Natural Retinol Infused Eye Mask, 5-Pack, is a retinol-infused, all-natural product designed to rejuvenate your eyes. It promises to provide hydration, smoothness, reduced puffiness, and brightness without the use of chemicals. With ingredients like retinol to refine skin texture and stimulate blood flow and aloe to soothe and reduce redness, it's like getting 8 hours of beauty sleep for your eyes.
These cooling hydrogel under-eye masks from Topicals promise to fade the appearance of dark circles and discoloration in just 15 minutes. The set includes six masks and offers benefits that brighten, hydrate, depuff, and cool your under-eye area.
Peter Thomas Roth Potent-C Power Brightening Hydra-Gel Eye Patches
Grab these eye contour gel patches to brighten the eye area and combat signs of aging using a powerful form of vitamin C called THD Ascorbate, which is 50 times more potent than traditional vitamin C.
BeautyBio's Bright Eyes consists of 15 colloidal silver-infused eye gel patches designed to provide instant depuffing, brightening, and revitalization to the delicate eye area within 10 minutes. They also contain natural collagen to help diminish the appearance of fine lines, which we love.
These viral hydrogel masks offer moisture and nourishment to rejuvenate tired-looking skin. Their Snail Secretion Filtrate contains "Mucin," an effective moisturizing ingredient that soothes damaged skin and delivers deep hydration, making it suitable for dehydrated and damaged skin types. Your under-eyes will thank you.
Try these caffeine-infused patches to reduce puffiness in the under-eye area. The product features clean, vegan ingredients such as caffeine, niacinamide, and hyaluronic acid for deep hydration and moisture delivery.
The Forever Eye Mask is designed to be the “last eye mask you'll ever need.” This thin, lightweight, and reusable eye patch can hold gels, serums, and creams close to the skin for better absorption, helping your skincare products work more effectively.
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