12 #blackboyjoy Moments That Have Us Loving The Men In Our Lives
As a full advocate of the progression of black people, I always seek out moments that keep me amazed at our resiliency.
I recently read an article that discussed the death of Kobe Bryant in relation to the vulnerable side of black men that we often don't get to see. And with the media attaching us to negativity as often as they can, as a black woman on an empowerment platform, I accept full responsibility in welcoming any moments in the culture that eases that image.
In, comes along the phenomenally revolutionary hashtag #blackboyjoy.
Coined by The Root, and made popular by the #blackboyjoy king himself, Chance the Rapper, the hashtag became a centralized hub of black boys and men who were happily being themselves outside the confines of the media's portrayal of gangsters, criminals, or the latest victims of police brutality.
I decided to list 12 moments where #blackboyjoy had us smiling ear to ear.
Enjoy!
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Matthew Cherry Wins Oscar And Takes De'Andre Arnold To The Ceremony
Matthew Cherry, a former NFL player, decided to write a short film titled Hair Love about the trials and tribulations of combing his daughter's hair. This film took off from there and remained highly-rooted for with the help of a manifested vision.
Cherry went on to win the Oscar, joining the ranks of the likes of other former athletes, such as Kobe Bryant, who also retired and explored the film industry.
On top of his Oscar win, Cherry took DeAndre Arnold, the young teen from Houston who was told he could not participate in graduation due to his locs, as his guest.
As our sis, Shellie R. Warren put it, "Matthew A. Cherry reminds us that celebrating Blackness is always worth it."
Always.
William Bilal Plays The Trombone Like You've Literally NEVER Heard Before
In 2016, William Bilal was at student in high school standing in the bleachers and playing his trombone during rehearsal. What was recorded became history, and 1.6 million views later, he continues to blow what seems like the entire internet's wig all the way back. The passion, the level of difficulty, and the effortless way he made his trombone sing—at THAT age—you just had to know that the ancestors were watching and losing their wigs too.
Bilal has since gone on to attend Benedict College in South Carolina, and has other (clearer) videos floating on worldwide web. But this is where it all started.
Sidebar: the song played is Al Jarreau's "Black and Blues", which is a very popular among HBCU marching bands.
Fair warning, you will not be able to watch this just once.
The Viral Black Man Skincare Thread
@SoOulzZz/Twitter
It all started when Twitter user @SoOulzZz said: "Let's start a thread of black men doing skincare here pls."
And boy, did Twitter deliver.
What followed were men openly sharing their skincare routines, offering tips, and as an amazing turn of events, allowed the ladies to just sit back and watch in awe.
#skinisin
Men Openly Show Off Their Love On Twitter
Twitter user, @KeyKey_Shepard, asked Black men to "upload a picture of the Black woman that you're treating right, having sex with on the regular, and making happy." Hundreds of men of all ages blessed our feeds with a tribute to their partners that will give you all the feels.
"Say Less," one reader responded.
You have to see the best responses, they're hilariously sweet.
Everything About Shaquan Parson, Who Is An Entire Mood Every Time He Lands A Trick
Shaquan Parson is training and competing to be the best self-proclaimed power ranger in the game. The stunts, the tricks. Whew. You have to see for yourself.
But the best part (at times) isn't even the acrobats.
It's his reaction after each successful landing.
If you don't root for yourself, who else will?
The Top Quarterbacks in the NFL Are Black And ESPN Coins 2019 the #YearoftheBlackQB
In a notoriously...let's just say, “conservative"...league, for the first time ever, the most statically superior, and discussed, quarterbacks in the NFL were all black:
Patrick Mahomes
Russell Wilson
Lamar Jackson
Deshaun Watson
ESPN took notice and created the television special “Year of The Black Quarterback" with a panel of key components to commemorate.
Go crush the field in 2020, fellas!
Black Lawyers Casually Create A Multi-Million-Dollar Room
A group of Chicago lawyers were captured during their quarterly dinner to vent about their work, offer each other support, and to discuss ways in which they can use their platforms to move the culture forward. The magic came in them assembling in a room, and quietly creating a buying power larger than what we're often exposed to outside of athletes and entertainers—which is a celebration within itself.
I don't know about you guys, but all I see are successful black men smiling, laughing, and being carefree Wakandian Warriors. #kanyeshrug
A Couple Friends Enjoying A Quick Dance Battle
Sometimes, you just have to pull your friends into your silliness with you, and sometimes being black AF on dance cam is necessary. My mans, @neversayneveraj, is a legend at both.
A Young Prince Sings "Standby Me" For His Class
It was Mr Sorto's classroom's tribute to the late Ben E. King for their Black History Month performance. The moves, the commitment, and the microphone stand for him...omgggg.
The preciousness is too much to handle.
Send this baby some love, he did his parents and teacher proud!
*sings along*
This Guy Took An International Solo Trip And Had A Great Story To Tell
Vandyke’s entire trip was a wild ride of randomness, from renting his Airbnb for four nights for only $120, to hanging with locals, to surviving on $5, and being invited to his neighbor's 87th birthday party (who didn't speak a word of English). He truly had a trip to remember.
I personally read the full story in a travel group, but the photo caption details more. There's one thing for sure, he knows how to have a good time, regardless.
Live your best life, king!
A Head Football Coach Learning Chemistry For His Students
Coach Darrell LeBeaux, Head Football Coach of Pleasant Grove High School in Birmingham, Alabama went the extra mile to literally re-learn the chemistry lesson of his player’s class. He was captured in full student mode—all while each of them were beaming in their magic.
This football season, Pleasant Grove went on to be ranked #1 in their region, and are nationally ranked as a program to look out for—and we can see why. We're forever rooting for any educator that shows a little more effort in developing young boys into men, through example.
Great job, Coach LeBeaux!
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Charmin Michelle is a southern native and creative spirit who works as a content marketer and events manager in Chicago. She enjoys traveling, #SummertimeChi, and the journey of mastering womanhood. Connect with her on Instagram @charminmichelle.
Exclusive: Melanie Fiona On Making High-Vibrational Music & Saying Yes To Partnership
Melanie Fiona is back! After taking a little more than a decade-long hiatus, she has officially made her return to music and blessed us with two singles, “Say Yes” and “I Choose You.” While both singles are very different from each other, they both reflect who she is today and the type of music she wants to make. In our conversation, the mom of two expressed what she learned during her time away.
“It's interesting, even when I said it is like coming back, I don't ever feel like I really left because I was always still performing. I've still been public. It's not like I went into being this recluse person or version of myself, but the thing that I really learned in this process is that I think things take time,” Melanie says in a xoNecole exclusive.
“I think often we're so caught up in it, being on the timing of demand or popularity, or, like, striking while the iron is hot and the thing that I've learned is that everything is on God's time. That's it. Every time I thought I would have been ready, or, like, things were taking too long, I had to reship some things, personally, professionally, in my life. I also gave myself permission to make a living, not just make a living, but make a life for myself.”
Making a life for herself included getting married to Grammy-nominated songwriter Jared Cotter, starting a family, and embracing new landscapes, such as podcasting as a co-host of The Mama’s Den podcast. She also began doing more spiritual work and self-care practices like meditation, sound healing, Reiki, acupuncture, and boundary setting, which allowed her to get in touch with her inner voice.
“I wasn't putting out music, and I wasn't experiencing a number one record, but I was being a number one mom,” she says.
“I was experiencing things that were allowing me to heal and get in touch with myself so that I could make new music from a space of joy and freedom, and excitement again because I definitely feel like I did lose some excitement because of just politics and industry and what it can do to your mental health and even your physical health. So giving myself the space to really just say, ‘Hey, it's okay. Everything's right on time.’”
The joy and excitement are felt in one of two new singles, “I Choose You,” which is more of a lovers rock vibe, a tribute to Melanie’s Caribbean roots. While the Grammy award-winner is known for ballads like “It Kills Me” and “Fool For You,” she is becoming more intentional about the music she makes, calling it high-vibrational music. She says her music is a “reflection of my life,” as it captures every facet, from hanging out with friends to riding around in her car.
“Say Yes” has the classic R&B vibe Melanie is known for. However, both songs are inspired by her relationship. Melanie and Jared got married in December 2020, and the Toronto-bred artist dished on their relationship. Fun fact: he is featured in the “Say Yes” music video.
“When we first started dating, I had come into that relationship post a lot of self-work. I had gotten out of a long-term relationship, I had a year and a half to date and be by myself and do a lot of work on myself alone. And when we met, I remember feeling like this has to be my person because I feel it,” she says.
“And so when we went into that relationship, and we started dating, I was very clear. I was like, I know what I want. I'm very clear on what I need, and I'm not going to withhold my truth about myself in this process because of pride or fear of rejection. I know you love me, but I'm coming with my heart in my hand to let you know that if we're gonna get there, we have to put fear aside and say yes. So that was kind of like my open letter to him, which is why the video is us having a conversation.”
Melanie also shares that saying yes to her partner has empowered her in many ways, including motherhood and showing up for herself. Her new EP, also titled Say Yes, will be available at the top of 2025.
Check out the full interview below.
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'Boomeranging': 4 Signs It's Okay To Rebound To Your Old Job
Stories like Nelly and Ashanti's second go 'round at love prove that wanting that old thang back isn't always a bad thing. And this even applies to jobs. Recent research shows that 43 percent of people who resigned during the Great Resignation in early 2021 admitted they were "better off at their old job," and 41 percent felt they "quit their job too quickly." Other reports show that about a quarter of employees “boomeranged” to their old jobs voluntarily last year.
But just like in relationships, there are key things to consider before going back to a former employer. I mean, there was indeed a reason you left, so going back might be one of the worst mistakes you've made—twice.
Let me help you out with this one. Here are four major signs it's a good idea to rebound or "boomerang" to your old job:
1. There's new management.
This is one of the most important signs that going back to an old job is a good idea. If you left the job due to toxic, inexperienced, or burned-out management, you might have a better experience with new people in leadership. At least you can start over to build a fresh perspective and connection. A 2019 study found that 57 percent of professionals have left a job because of their manager, and 14 percent have left multiple jobs because of their managers.
Schedule an informative coffee or virtual meeting with an HR professional at your old company or have lunch with a former colleague to get a sense of the new management.
If you don't really have those types of ties to your old job, keep tabs on their latest developments by following their company's LinkedIn page, setting up Google alerts, or checking for news releases about updates from the company.
2. You can take on a role you'd wanted previously but couldn't get back then.
Budgets change along with the times, so maybe this time around, there's room to pay you what you're worth in a higher position. Check job boards, LinkedIn, or other online platforms to see what opportunities are now available, and utilize the experience you once had at the company to sell why you'd be perfect for that role. Harvard Business Report found that 28% of “new hires” were boomerang hires who had resigned within the last 36 months last year. It also found that boomerang employees were more likely to be managers than non-managers.
3. They're finally offering remote or flex schedules.
If you left because you wanted to prioritize time with your children, you felt like you didn't get enough time off after childbirth, or you need to take care of elder family members, this is the perfect reason to consider going back. After the pandemic, more than 40 percent of workers in three industries worked remotely. According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics report from October 2024, of 61 detailed industries, 44 had more than 10 percent of their workforce working remotely in 2021. In 2022, the top four industries in 2021 still had over 46 percent of their workforce working remotely.
While there has been news that companies, particularly in tech, are forcing people to go back to the office, while some are requiring employees to go in a few days per week, many have begun fully embracing remote work, changing their tune from years back. In an effort to retain a workforce who has expectations of work-life balance, flexibility, and wellness prioritizing, remote work is now something competitive companies embrace, and that could include your former employer.
4. Your old job was more fulfilling or more of a culture fit than your current one.
Sometimes, money and titles aren't everything. Maybe you had more autonomy at your old job, you were treated with respect, or you felt more accepted and free to be yourself at that company. The new job might have offered more money or a title raise, but the office culture just isn't that great.
If you left your previous job simply to try something new or you were offered more money at another company for a promotion and you're finding that that wasn't the best move, it might be a good idea to reach out to your old HR manager. Maybe they miss you, too.
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