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When they met, Jason had just moved to Atlanta for a new job opportunity, and Elise was living happily in her career and had put dating on the backburner. But luckily, a mutual connection saw something in both of them and thanks to a yoga-themed baby shower and a chance text message, they found their forever. Check out their beautiful How We Met story below.
I’ll start with the easiest question. Can you both tell me a little bit about yourself and your background?
Elise: Sure, my name is Elise. I’m actually from Atlanta, GA – not a transplant. I grew up here and left right after college to pursue my career. Now I’ve been back going on eight years, and I’m in my early 40s.
Jason: And I’m Jason. I’m originally from Racine, Wisconsin. I went to school at Florida A&M University, so I am a rattler. I went back to the Midwest for a period of time, in Indianapolis. Now, I’ve been in the Atlanta area for a little over two and a half years.
Jason and Elise Robinson
Photo by FotosbyFola
Wow, that’s nice because Atlanta gets a bad rap when it comes to relationships. So you have to give us the deets. How did you two find each other?
Elise: So I work in TV and I was on-air for a number of years and then transitioned into being a producer and then a manager. As a producer, I’d always have guests on. And there was a woman who came on frequently named Rosalynn (@Rosalynndaniels, often referred to as The Black Martha Stewart), and we connected instantly. Anyway, she got pregnant right before COVID and invited me to a “modern-day yoga baby shower.” I came to support, but was also just curious about that theme.
I had an amazing time. And when it was over a few of us stuck around and convos got personal. She ended up asking me the infamous ‘Are you dating’ question. When I told her no, she decided to set me up. So I should tell you, in both of my only two serious relationships, I was set up – so I was like no.
But she pointed at her husband, who was folding up chairs, and said that another friend set her up with him. Sometimes, it takes people outside of us to see what we need. A few months later, she reached out and said she had family relocating and thought I’d really like him. So she gave him my number, and I reached out with a text. He responded with a call, and that night, we talked for about 2-3 hours. So that’s how we met. I was a little nervous because me and Rosalynn were starting a friendship, and here I was, talking to her family!
Jason: It was new for me too. Remember, I was new to the area, and I had heard so many “stories” about how people have been done wrong in the dating world. Whether it’s by theft or scamming (laughs). Plus, I had just got a new job and wanted to focus on that. But I did want to be able to date someone in a more personal way and see where it led. I felt like who better than someone who I trust to connect me. Rosalynn knows I’m private, about business life, and my personal life is important to me.
So let’s get into your courtship. What was your first date like?
Elise: We had our first convo on a Monday, and he asked me out the next day. I didn’t have any plans, but I still said no. I was just playing hard to get (laughs). But we were talking every day, and he told me he wanted to take me somewhere I’ve never been. And I’m like, you’re in my city! But he sends me three options, and sure enough, two of the places I hadn’t gone to. So, our first date was October 1, 2021, and somebody was 45 minutes late.
Now Jason, why were you 45 minutes late?
Elise: It was me – in my own city. I just got turned around, and the traffic was horrible. I kept calling him and giving him permission to leave. Full transparency: I probably wouldn’t have waited if the shoe was on the other foot. But this was my first sign of what I now know and love the most about him. It’s his patience. When I got there, I was frazzled and everything, but he was just super calm. It ended up being a great first date.
Jason: I remember just waiting and being concerned for her well-being. Because I know how traffic can be, especially when someone is rushing. I was just scrolling through my phone and looking through the menu. It was cool.
Elise and Jason Robinson
Courtesy
That’s beautiful. Now let’s talk about the “what are we” convo? Did you have one of those and if so, who initiated it and how was it?
Elise: I initiated it. Jason was dating me – and still does. But by this time, we had been on a number of dates. We were on our way to a winery, and we had a bit of a drive. So I decided to state my intention. We were just a few weeks in, but we were spending a lot of time together and we are people of a particular age. So I told him, I know Atlanta can be a Black man’s playground. There’s so many beautiful professional women here. But I’m dating with intention. I don’t want to kick it or hang with a good guy even though he’s not my person. I was done with all of that. So I’m “laying down the law” in my eyes, and he didn’t flinch. He let me finish and basically let me know we were on the same page. He was not trying to sow his royal oats.
Jason: Yeah, I was not trying to be Prince Akeem. But also, it was more so about setting a tone and goal for myself. My mama always told me to set my goals. And having a family was always one of mine. I think the biggest thing of it all, was I felt blessed – in terms of moving for work and meeting Elise, now being married. There’s victories being placed in my life.
I love that you both shared that because sometimes I get feedback on these stories and it seems like sometimes we’re afraid to really voice what we desire, no matter what that looks like.
Elise: Yeah, I think sometimes women feel like they don’t want to put pressure on their partner. But it’s not pressure. Look, Jason and I are based in faith, and what is for us is for us. Being upfront and honest is best – and early makes sense. You don’t have to convince someone to be your person.
Jason: I think her sharing those values resonated with me, and hearing her “lay down the law” was fine because I was there, too. I would say to millennial women, don’t be afraid to tell a mate what you want. You never know what that would lead to. Time is a precious commodity. Elise saying that early on showed me that she values both of our time. It showed her heart, character, and integrity, and I was drawn to that and the mature conversation. In the social media world, we don’t have those pointed conversations face-to-face. I would challenge readers to have those conversations in person, and you would get more from that convo than any post or reel. Because you see body language reactions and have deeper communication.
Yeah, I think sometimes women feel like they don’t want to put pressure on their partner. But it’s not pressure. Look, Jason and I are based in faith, and what is for us is for us. Being upfront and honest is best – and early makes sense. You don’t have to convince someone to be your person.
You both have mentioned time, family, and integrity. I’m curious what other core values do you both share?
Elise: Early on, our faith. Not just do you believe in God. It had to be deeper in that. I needed someone who would lead me, our home, and our family. I didn’t want to be in a push-and-pull relationship about prayer, church, or have conversations about being better people. Also, we discussed finances. That doesn’t just mean going to work. We chatted about ownership and what it looks like for us. How do we support each other individually and together? I know I like having my hands in a few different pots, and I needed someone who was supportive of that and likewise.
Jason: My background is that I was raised in the church. My father is a deacon and my mom is a deaconess. They've been married for 55 years. Faith was very important to me and it was crucial that my wife have that relationship as well.
Elise and Jason Robinson
Photo by FotosbyFola
Can we talk about challenges? Big or small, what are some things you had to grow through together?
Elise: I have never lived with anyone – not a roommate, a sister, friend, boyfriend or anything. Now, I’m in my 40s and I'm living with someone. When you’ve been by yourself for so long that was a challenge for both of us. We weren’t pulling each other's hair out but I’m a bit extreme. Things are color-coded in my closet. For me, working in news is chaotic so I want my home to be peaceful and organized.
Jason: I’m a man, and she’s a woman. That dynamic alone adds a flair to it. She wants things a certain way. She’s a Capricorn. But just in terms of how she wants to keep a home was a big adjustment for me. It took time.
On a smaller level, what are some of the things you disagree about day-to-day?
Elise: Cleanliness and systems. Like, he recycles and I do not. But sometimes I just have to decide if it really needs to be a thing or if I can just take care of it.
Jason: This is where my organization takes over (laughs).
What are your love languages? Do you know?
Elise: Jason’s is an act of service which works because I love cooking for him. It doesn’t feel like a chore to me. I love when I’m out, picking up his favorite juice. The other day I saw he needed t-shirts while folding clothes. So I just like doing small things for him that he doesn’t expect. He’s very much that guy that will ask to help so it doesn’t bother me.
Jason: I’d say Elise is all of them, but physical touch would probably be the biggest one. I had to get used to that. She’s taught me it in a number of ways. I remember we actually talked about love languages, and I sent her this song called “More Than Words” by Extreme. That explained to her how I felt.
Finally, can we end with the proposal? Tell us everything!
Jason: It was at a restaurant. And again, I was trying to find somewhere she hadn’t been. Also, I didn’t want to do it on our anniversary because that would have been too obvious. I contacted one of the restaurant’s staff and decided to change up the dessert menu. Each item was something special to us.
Elise: We go on so many date nights, so I just thought it was a regular night. We had finished eating, and I had to go to the bathroom. They had a nice mirror, girl. So I’m in there taking videos and stuff.
Jason: While she’s in the restroom, I’m getting everything in place with the waitress.
Elise: So as I’m reading the menu, I realize it’s telling our story and he eventually proposed. It was so special; I actually had the menu framed! It was so beautiful and thoughtful.
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When I spoke to my doctor (at the time) about it, he was like, “I mean…yeah.” In fact, he was so nonchalant that I almost felt ridiculous even bringing it up. Then, when he went on to explain that easilyover 50-60 percent of women experience some level of breast unevenness, that is what made me pretty much immediately take on the same attitude that he did.
That’s me, though. I’m not gonna assume that every woman who deals with asymmetrical breasts is automatically super cool with it — because it’s not like it’s a subject that is openly discussed a ton. So, if you happen to be a part of this particular club and, although you know that you have to accept it, you also know that you haven’t totally made peace with it…I’m hoping that by the time that you’re done reading this, you will have.
Because breasts are beautiful — no matter what “package” they come in. Straight up.
What Causes Uneven Breasts?
GiphySo, let’s begin with what is probably the first thing that you’re curious about: What causes uneven breasts to begin with? Honestly, it’s not just one thing. Asymmetrical breasts can be due to something as simple as shifts in hormones, pregnancy, breastfeeding (especially if your baby happens to prefer one breast over the other), drastic shifts in weight, or even good old-fashioned aging.
It also should go on record that when it comes to the parts of your body that “come in twos,” very rarely are they identical in size and shape: eyes, eyebrows, hands, feet…you get it. So, even people who think that their breasts are “identical twins,” that may not exactly be the case at all. Not really…not (pardon the pun) fully.
Anyway, talking to your healthcare provider can help you get to the root of whether any of these things are indeed the cause and if there is anything that can be done about it.
Okay, but what are some not-so-simple reasons that can cause your breasts to be uneven? One condition is known asbreast hypoplasia; it’s when you’re not able to produce enough glandular tissue to produce breast milk or for your breasts to look completely even. If your breasts have been uneven for about as long as you can remember, there’s a slight chance that you may have experiencedjuvenile (also known as virginal) hypertrophy during puberty; it’s what happens when your breasts grow so rapidly during adolescence that one may have gotten larger than the other.
We also can’t overlook things like a breast infection or even breast cancer (some additional signs of it include dimpling of your breasts, nipple discharge [that isn’t breast milk], breast swelling, and pain [that isn’t due to your cycle] and swollen lymph nodes that are underneath your arms or near your collarbone) as well. There are also a few rare conditions that can create uneven breasts (you can read more about themhere).
Bottom line, if your breasts have only recently made a noticeable shift, it’s important to let your physician know. Again, although there is nothing wrong with having uneven breasts as far as appearances go if they are connected to an underlying health issue, you need to find that out just as soon as you possibly can.
What Can Be Done About Uneven Breasts?
GiphyOkay, so what if it checks out that your breasts are healthy and your uneven breasts are all about something natural like hormonal shifts, pregnancy, or weight changes? Is there anything that you can do? For starters, there are procedures likelipofilling (which transfers fat from one part of your body to another),mastopexy (which is basically a breast lift), or getting breast implants. Sometimes, what women will opt to do is get a breast reduction in order to even out their breasts. The main thing to keep in mind with all of these options is while some are far less invasive than others, they are surgical and also not exactly the cheapest routes to take.
With all of that out of the way, is there anything that you can do from the comfort, convenience, and privacy of your own home? Yep, there is. Several things, actually.
Exercise. Whether your breasts are uneven or just not as firm as they used to be, getting your pectoral muscles in shape can help to make your breasts appear more even and youthful. Check out Women’s Health’s “The 20 Best Chest Exercises To Add To Your Upper-Body Workouts, According To A Trainer” for some solid workout tips.
Breast massage. Aside from the fact that giving yourself abreast massage can help with early detection if you happen to feel a lump or mass, it can also help to cultivate more elasticity, reduce the appearance of breast marks, and if you massage the smaller breast more, if that one is only slightly smaller than your larger one, it could cause your breasts to become more even-looking.
Bra shopping. It’s kinda wild that, with all of the intel that’s in the internet streets,80 percent of women are STILL wearing the wrong bra size (get fitted, ladies). On top of that, there is absolutely no telling how many avoid the rule that you should get 4-6 new bras every 12 months or so. As a sis with big breasts (check out “Here Are Some Breast Care Tips For Women In The 'Over D-Cup' Club”), although it took me a hot minute, I finally found a bra brand that I really like: Wacoal. They sell bras that don’t have that 90s Madonna cone-shaped look (the real ones know). Anyway, they have certain bras that are designed for asymmetrical breasts (several bra brands do). If you’d like to check some of their options out, clickhere.
Watch your estrogen consumption. I think it’s interesting that while some media likes to downplay how diet affects breasts,there are scientific studies that literally say things like, “Breast cancer is strongly associated with estrogens.” Know whatanother article on estrogen and breasts said? “Although there are no large clinical studies that support the use of bee pollen for breast growth, a diet containing phytoestrogens ― a compound derived from plants that can be found in bee pollen ― can mimic estrogen.” — and yes, estrogen can cause your breasts to grow. So, make sure to consume phytoestrogens in moderation, especially if you’re trying to (naturally) get your breast size under control.Some of those types of foods include soy, peaches, garlic, dried fruits, and flax seeds.
Peep some of your habits. Believe it or not, you might not have asymmetrical breasts so much as one breast is fuller than the other due to things like sleeping on your stomach or only one side (all of the time), having bad posture, and even constantly plucking ingrown hairs around your nipples (because that could lead to inflammation). So, if you do any of these things, before trying anything else, stop these habits and see if you notice some changes.
Remember: There Is Absolutely Nothing to Be Ashamed Of. AT ALL.
GiphyMany of our body parts are “sisters” not “twins;” I can’t recall where I first heard that saying yet it’s definitely the truth. I like my right eyebrow more than my left. Definitely my left foot is larger than my right. Don’t even get me started on howthe left side of my hair is thicker and grows faster than my right. Chile, what can I do but make peace with it?
Same thing goes for my left breast being bigger than my right one. In a perfect world, would I want my breasts to be as even as possible? Probably. Yet, I recently wrote an article for the platform entitled, “When It Comes To Your Life, Please Aim For GOOD. Never PERFECT.” so how much of a hypocrite would I be if I didn’t follow my own advice? And besides, they are still pretty full-looking, they’re healthy, and they still get stares from both men and women (LOL) — what’s to complain about or be ashamed of? Not one damn thing.
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Again, if you’re someone who (also) has some form of asymmetry when it comes to your breasts, give yourself and your girls some grace. You’re not abnormal and it’s simply something that makes you — YOU. And anything that emphasizes that? Why not celebrate it? Amen? AMEN, chile.
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