

Big Sean continues to open up about his spirituality, mental health, and how he manifested his career. Over the years, the Detroit rapper has been open about his battle with depression and anxiety and has praised holistic practices such as meditation as well as therapy. He also is a believer in manifestation and the law of attraction and how he was able to use those lessons to obtain success. Back in 2019, he released a video about manifestation where he said, “If I want it and I believe I can have it, then that’s my reality.”
He also did an interview with Jay Shetty’s podcast On Purpose with Jay Shetty a year ago about manifestation that was such a big hit with fans that he’s back for another purposeful conversation. In the March 2022 episode, the “Play No Games” rapper dives even deeper into manifesting abundance, success, and happiness. Here are some highlights from the hour and a half-long interview.
Big Sean on How Meditation Lifts Your Vibration
“I change my meditations up frequently. I do mantra meditations sometimes and sometimes I do just guided meditations that are specifically for me. Maybe for that week, things that I, not necessarily trying to accomplish but things that I put in my consciousness. Things that I want to approach right, but most importantly it gets me right for the day. It’s like taking a shower after you work out and you take that shower and feeling fresh. That’s what it does for my consciousness, my energy and things just flow better.”
“I literally feel like I’m lifting my vibration up to a higher place of just to be successful and it all starts right there for me. You can’t do it right or wrong way. There’s no right or wrong way in doing it. The fact that you take the time out to just be with yourself to breathe. Your mind is going to race all over the place sometimes. Sometimes it doesn’t, sometimes it does. You bring it back to your breath, you bring it back to whatever you’re listening to, and just the fact that you took that time out to breathe and spend that time on yourself, you’re gonna feel an incredible difference every time.”
Be Specific With Your Intentions
“If you are specific, well then always make sure in that specification that you put and more or I’m open to whatever possibilities are also available, whatever options there are if you are specific because we can be specific somewhat, but you can’t be too specific and leave it there. You can say I want to have the number one podcast that talks about mental health and all these things but the specification of that is even bigger than that. Everything you do is way bigger than that, but you’re open to all of those expansive options. I just hope that people realize that whatever you want in life–first of all, wanting something is acknowledging the lack of it.”
“So, remember in our last interview I talked about how God gives you what you ask for so I kinda don’t say I want anything anymore, I say 'I desire,' or 'My intention.' I don’t say I want it because I’m just acknowledging over and over that I don’t have it and I don’t want to match that vibration of not having it anymore. So instead it’s this is my intention, my desire, and I put myself vibrationally on that frequency already having it already being there and that for me works I don’t know if that works for everyone else, but try it. If life isn’t going exactly how you want it to which is 99% of us in this world, try it that way.”
Self-care is Service
“The whole purpose of self-care is the complete opposite of being selfish. It’s service to the world so when you’re overwhelmed with all the anxiety of what’s going on, you’re overwhelmed with your personal problems and the world’s problems and things seem to be too much, we all go through this, the most important thing to rely on the faith that everything is going to be okay. When you put your best foot forward, the extra steps to take care of yourself to bring your best foot forward you realize, we talked about it last time, that the reason that we’re in this moment in the first place is ‘cause we have the ability to change this moment.”
“The great part about being in any situation whether you’re up or down in life is that it’s an amazing opportunity and you have the ability to change every situation. So, when you have that faith. I talked about that invisible bridge to have that faith and walk across and you don’t really see how you’re gonna get across, but you know it’s there and you step off that clip and unto where you don’t see anything and you still haven’t fallen. That’s what faith is and that’s what we have to have in each other and society and realize the more conscious we are the more we work on ourselves the more steps we’re taking to get to the other side of things."
Have Faith and Trust in Divine Timing
“These things, when they even happen you realize, I in the first place should never be mad at a timeline because how can I be mad at a timeline or something not getting done or a deadline when I’m on God’s time. I’m moving at God’s speed. I’m not moving at my speed. I can set my intention, give my attention to that intention in hopefully getting something done. It may get done earlier. I may want to finish something in April and it may get done in February. I may want to get something done by April and it may not get done till next April.”
“Who knows? Because it’s unknown but when we embrace that unknown, which a lot of us, it’s hard to do ‘cause we always like to think about what’s the worst that can happen instead of what’s the best that can happen. I had to change my whole mindset to think, okay, what’s the best that can happen because I don’t even want to attract what’s the worst that can happen. That’s such a normal saying. That saying is wack. I had to flip it over to what’s the best that can happen because I have 100% faith.”
Be Rich Within Yourself
“You can be rich in money but it’s conditional. That money goes, you’re not even rich anymore. If you take all of the money away from me or anyone around me, my family, we’re at a point where we were rich before we had money. Because of the rich practices that we were taught which is to take care of yourself early on which is a lesson I put on a back burner and went through and experienced life and life was hitting me and beating me up. I had to take a step back and reaffirm the things that I already knew but really strengthen them up. That is being rich for real because money is conditional and that is the energy we assigned it."
"It’s the currency of our countries and living the way we live but time is the currency of our universe and love is the currency of all. Love is God. I know I’m kind of rambling, but I just want people to get that because when you judge someone else, you’re just wasting your time. You’re really just giving someone else your energy that’s so valuable. You can be building a mountain with that energy, you can be building your future or career or something else, Instead, you’re worried about somebody else or tearing somebody else down and it doesn't make sense. It’s so easy to do though.”
Find Your Happiness and Writing a Book
“Make everything you’re doing fun because we’re here for such a short period of time and when we see somebody pass away that’s close to us or someone we idolize, our heroes or family members or friends whatever just you gotta realize that I work but I gotta make this fun because that is the key to happiness, right? And that is to me, that’s real success is when you’re happy so you gotta have fun with whatever you’re doing and if it’s not fun you gotta make it fun or do something else. Even if it pays your bills or anything you gotta –if you just approach it like that, something that may be depressing to you can completely change. That job you may have been working on, I’ve been doing this since I was 11 years old by the way making music, and obviously, I want to do other things with my life.”
“I want to write a book because I’ve learned so many lessons from you, Deepak, I get to sit with Sadhguru, my mom especially, I get to sit with Jhene (Aiko). I get to sit with all these amazing, I get to sit with Marie Diamond. I get to sit with a lot of people who know so much and I know that that’s one of my life purposes is to put that information into, and all the experiences I been through, all the testaments I’ve seen, and all of the magic I’ve witnessed in my life that’s the reason I want to write a book. I’m not doing it because, oh it’s a cool thing for your career to do I feel like I have to write a book because it’s one of my missions for humanity.”
How To Manifest ABUNDANCE, SUCCESS, & HAPPINESS Into Your Life | Big Sean & Jay Shetty
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Laterras R. Whitfield On What He Wants In A 'Future Wifey' & Redefining Masculinity
In this week's episode of the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker chopped it up with Laterras R. Whitfield, host of the Dear Future Wifey podcast, for a raw and revealing conversation about personal growth, faith, and the search for love in a way that resonates.
Laterras Whitfield Believes Men Should Pursue, Not Persuade
“Let me know you exist, and I’ll do the rest”
Whitfield is a big advocate of a man’s role in going confidently for the woman he wants. “Men should pursue, not persuade, and women should present, not pursue,” he said. He’s open to meeting women on social media but isn’t a fan of bold approaches. “Don’t shoot your shot at me. … Let me know you exist, and I’ll do the rest.”
His ideal woman?
“She has to be a woman of God… I judge a woman by how her friends see her… and most importantly, how she treats my kids.”
Infidelity, Redemption, and the Power of Self-Control
“Being disciplined is the most beautiful thing you can offer”
Once unfaithful in his previous marriage, Whitfield has since transformed his perspective on masculinity. “Being disciplined is the most beautiful thing you can offer. That’s what true masculinity is to me now.” He has also committed to abstinence, choosing self-control as a defining trait of manhood.
Whitfield’s journey is one of redemption, purpose, and faith—something that speaks to women who value emotional intelligence, accountability, and the power of transformation.
Rewriting the Narrative Around Black Masculinity
What masculinity, legacy, and healing mean to Whitfield today
“My dad taught me what not to be [as a man] and my mom taught me what she needed [in a man],” Whitfield said. While his father wasn’t abusive, he wasn’t emotionally or affectionately present. “Since I didn’t see it, I never got it either… I would look at my dad and say, ‘I want to be a better father.’ ”
Adoption had always been on his spirit, influenced by TV shows like Different Strokes and Punky Brewster. This mindset led him to take in his nephew as his son after a powerful dream confirmed what he already felt in his heart.
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
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If there is a piece of consistent sex-related advice that I give people who are considering going the distance in their relationship, it’s this: “Don’t go for someone who is simply good in bed; you’d be far better off choosing someone who actually enjoys sex.” Why do I say that? Because I’ve been doing this couples-work thing long enough to know that there are a lot — and, I mean A LOT — of people who like to manipulate or weaponize sex in order to get something that they want…and then, once they get it, suddenly sex is not a priority anymore.
One day, I might really get into just how actually evil that is (because sex is never supposed to be a bribe in a relationship). For now, though, I want to talk about how motives reveal oh so very much when it comes to physical (and even emotional) intimacy. Hmph. It reminds me of one of my favorite quotes on the topic of motives: “People’s behavior makes sense when you think about it in terms of goals, needs, and motives.” An author by the name of Thomas Mann said that, and indeed it does because, when you are doing something merely to get your way, that is a form of manipulation or control.
On the other hand, when you’re doing it merely for the holistic pleasure of doing so — that is when you are experiencing intimacy in the way that it was intended to be.
So, when it comes to your personal motive for sex, what is it really all about?
What Are You Really Hoping to Get Out of Sex?
When It Comes to Your ‘What’, You Always Need to Know Your WHY
Oh, I’ve got some more motives quotes for you. Psychologist Albert Ellis once said, “People have motives and thoughts of which they are unaware.” Author Paul David Trip once said, “We rarely do anything with one single motive.” It’s pretty ironic that actor Chris Noth (because if you know, you know) once said, “Since women ask me about male motives all the time, I can offer a bit of advice. If you feel like you're going to get hurt, then you shouldn't be there in the first place. That's the way I look at relationships.”
Now, before I attempt to build on these quotes, let’s first look at a very basic definition of motive:
Motive: a reason for doing something, especially one that is hidden or not obvious
Did you catch that? Oftentimes, when someone is moving based on a motive, the reason is hidden. Is it just me or does that sound semi-sneaky or opportunistic, right off the bat? Interestingly enough, some synonyms for motive include grounds, basis and root. All of those words make me think of the foundation of something. So, since we are talking about sex, specifically, today — before you decide to sleep with someone, you really should ask yourself what your foundational reason is and, if you’re choosing not to share it with said-partner…why is that?
Pick Your Top 3 Motives, Then Reflect
Let’s keep going. Some other synonyms for motive include aim; emotion; idea; impulse; intent; motivation; passion; rationale; occasion; incentive; consideration, and inspiration. Aight, so here’s another thing to ponder — out of these 12 words, select your top three that “connect the dots” as it relates to your motive (or motives). It could be that you feel passion for him, your intent is to show him that and, since you’ve been dating for a hot minute, you think that it’s the right occasion. In this case, what’s shady or opportunistic about that?
If that is indeed your motive, it would fall less into the “hidden” category and more in the “not obvious” once you really thought it through. On the other hand, if it’s more like you aim to have sex, because your rationale is to get some sort of incentive out of it — do you see how that’s totally different? And if indeed that is the case, WHY do you think that is okay?
Sex Is Not A Transaction — It’s An Exchange
I’m telling you, if there is one thing that I damn near loathe is how transactional sex sounds these days: “Unless you’re going to pay my bills, I’m not going to give you any.” What in the world? Listen, I don’t care how unpopular the opinion may be, sometimes — hell, oftentimes — the truth isn’t popular and the truth about copulation is IT IS AN EVEN EXCHANGE. No one should be paying you for it. He got pleasure, you got pleasure. Over and out. And if that isn’t happening, either there is more communication that needs to be going on (which is just one of the reasons why I’m not a fan of faking orgasms) or there is something “off” when it comes to you and your partner.
Whatever the case may be, before engaging in physical intimacy with someone, it’s beyond wise to spend some time getting really honest with yourself about what your motives truly are — because how we start something oftentimes sets the tone for the experience overall. Indeed, motives are a lot like cause and effect — they play a significantly profound role in determining the outcome of matters.
Real Compatibility Includes Mutual Motives
Sexual Compatibility Includes Having Mutual Motives
Okay, so now that we’ve discussed motives, in general — say that your motives are pure (and you are being really honest with yourself about that). You’re not hiding anything because there is nothing to hide. You simply feel so connected to someone that you are motivated and inspired to take things to another level.
Well, that’s where author Lebo Grand and something that he once said comes in: “Sensuality is the purest motive that exists on earth.” When something is sensual, it gratifies the senses. When something is sensual, it arouses the appetite — and yes, when you want to be intimate with someone, simply because you want to get closer to them, there is something that is very sweet, very sincere and even pure — in the sense of being authentic and real — about that.
If that is your motive, share that with your partner. If that is also his motive, then it’s time to get into what the mutual motives of what a healthy sexual relationship should be: pleasure, joy and satisfaction. Y’all, something else that messes many couples up is there is so much focus on what they want to get out of sex that they fail to fully tune in and tap into their partner — and that is unfortunate. You know why? Because it has been both my experience as well as my observation that when both people are totally invested in making sure that their partner is sexually satisfied both individuals end up feeling gratified and quenched. Yeah, a selfish motive rarely brings contentment like a selfless one does — and you can take that to the bank!
And that is why, although I think that sexual compatibility is important, you’d be amazed how much clear communication, patience and selflessness can “get you there” if sex seems awkward at first. Again, if the motives are right, goodness can come from it, even if it takes a bit of time and effort to get there.
When Your Sexual Motives Shift, Say Something
If Your Motives Shift, You Need to Speak Up
Final point. It is the Greek philosopher Heraclitus who once said, “Change is the only constant in life” and this applies to every aspect of it — including sex. That said, some of you may recall back when I wrote an article entitled, “BDE: Please Let The 'It Needs To Be Huge' Myth Go.” The wife who I featured in that piece, we were recently talking about it and how she remains 10 toes down about the fact that a “big one” ain’t all it’s cracked up to be if the man who owns it is attached to a huge ego and not much else.
When I asked her to reflect on how much of her dissatisfaction was — and kinda still is — about him vs. who she now is as a person, she admitted that so much of who she is has changed from when they first got together. She’s older and so her hormones have shifted. She has spiritually evolved and so a profound emotional connection is more desired. She knows herself better and so she has some sexual needs that she never had before. And so, her motives have shifted from pretty much just having a good time (only) to longing for something…deeper.
This isn’t abnormal; many people go through this. Thing is, instead of being forthcoming with their partner, they would rather have them pick up on hints or, even worse, attempt to read their mind. Yeah, that’s not how effective communication works, y’all — if your motives for sex have changed, you’ve got to say something. Otherwise, you’re going to end up frustrated or unfulfilled…and honestly, your partner probably will too because if you are different and you don’t share it, eventually there will be a “disconnect” (and not just in the bedroom).
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As I bring this to a close, take a moment to circle back to the first motive quote that I shared in the intro (“People’s behavior makes sense when you think about it in terms of goals, needs and motives.”). Whatever your sex life is like right now, what are your goals, needs and motives? What are his?
Figure that out and you’ll better understand where you’re at and, if you don’t like it, how to get to where you want to be.
It all begins with the right motives, sis. It really and truly does.
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