What In The World Is 'Crotch Cleavage,' Chile?

Crotch Cleavage? Ironically, It’s “Right in Your Face.”

I remember when I first saw this video when the daughter was a little girl. And so, when I peeped the updated video, I was literally like, “What the hell is time?!” — and y’all, I felt that way again when I heard some young(er) people talking about crotch cleavage and I was like, “Excuse me, what the hell is that?!”

I’ll give you roughly 60 seconds to tell me the first thing that comes to your mind when you hear those two words put together. If you guessed “camel toe,” I am actually impressed because I had no clue until the 20-somethings snickered at me and then shared with me what the inside joke was all about.

And you know what’s a real trip? For the past year or so (give or take a couple of months), it would appear that (surprise, surprise) Gen-Zers have actually been making a fashion statement out of it. Yes, of their camel toe. How? By opting to wear things that make their camel toe prominent.

So, while wives and girlfriends are out here snapping off about their men wearing gray sweatpants (IYKYK), it is apparently liberating (to some) for women to let their labia run free (umm, relatively speaking). Interesting.

No, Your Labia Is Nothing to Be Ashamed Of

Now let me just say this about all of that — last summer, I penned an article for the platform entitled, “What Does It Mean To Have A 'Fatty'? Can You Do Anything To Change It?” and well, as someone who has a bit of a fatty her damn self, I don’t think that having a fleshy mons pubis (which is the tissue that covers your pubic bone) and/or labia (which more specifically is your labia majora in this case; it is the lips of your vagina) are anything to be embarrassed about or even the least bit ashamed of.

I mean, for what? Because you know what they say (and I’ve done some unofficial polling and it seems to be true): a fatty can definitely provide more cushin’ for the pushin’.

And so, when it comes to things like swimsuits and lingerie, I definitely don’t think that you should be going out of your way to wear stuff that makes you feel like you need to hide what is a part of your natural make-up. However, selecting a piece that ultimately results in camel toe? ON PURPOSE? Girl, that is something completely different.

Here’s why.

Yes, You Should Take the Challenges of a Camel Toe Seriously

As someone who personally isn’t even the biggest fan of thongs (to wear), I don’t think my perpetual eye roll at the concept of crotch cleavage has much to do with my age. For me, any type of clothing that spends too much time up in any crack of mine is going to get on my last nerve and a camel toe is going to do exactly that. I mean, just think about how tight something has to be to keep your lips from “speaking to each other” — and then factor in what fabrics would have to be incorporated in order to make that happen.

Just think about it. I mean, I seriously doubt that organic cotton bikini briefs could create a camel toe. On the other hand, two-sizes-too-small nylon workout pants possibly could — and then here you come with all sorts of (potential) issues: friction, moisture that can’t get out, nerve compression, digestive issues, counterproductive workout sessions — oh, and let’s not forget what we all adore as women, yeast infections.

I dunno, y’all, I’m not sure what is so freeing and amazing about showing off your camel toe if you’re going to put yourself through so much potential discomfort and drama in the process. But if you do decide to do it, just make sure that you factor in all that could come from it on the back end. And if you do and you’re still cool with it, at the very least, commit to rocking one for no more than a couple of hours — max. Otherwise, a fashion trend could turn into a mini-nightmare. And I’m absolutely not exaggerating.

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Crotch cleavage. Hmph. Just when you thought that you heard and saw it all, what we are dodging back in the day, generations after us are doing on purpose.

I guess King Solomon wasn’t completely right. There are some new things under the sun.

Goodness. LOL.

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