
Alicia Keys Says She Was 'Embarrassed' To Ask For Help Early On In Her Career

Singer and entrepreneur Alicia Keys recently recalled the challenges she encountered early in her career, prompting her to create a mentorship program for young women.
Keys rose to fame in 2001 following her debut album, Songs in A Minor. The album, which featured the hit singles "Fallin'" and "A Woman's Worth," would ultimately sell over 10 million copies. Throughout Keys' two-decade career, the "If I Ain't Got You" vocalist has participated in various acting projects, created a skincare brand, released nine studio albums, sold more than 65 million records worldwide, and won countless awards.
Since then, Keys has taken the knowledge she has learned within the entertainment industry over the years and is sharing those gems with the creation of her mentorship program, She Is The Music. During a June interview with Metro, the 42-year-old opened up about She Is The Music and why she felt an organization like this would have benefitted her early on in her career.
Alicia Keys On She Is The Music Program And Her Early Career Struggles
She Is The Music was founded in 2018 by Keys, Jody Gerson, Sam Kirby, and Ann Mincieli. The outlet reports that Keys' inspiration for the nonprofit organization stemmed from a study she saw the year before about the lack of "female creators in the industry." She Is The Music's mission is to support and guide young women in all aspects of the music industry.
In the discussion, Keys --who was promoting Uncharted, a documentary that showcased the behind-the-scenes look of She Is The Music's songwriting camp-- raved about the mentorship program and explained that she would've enjoyed being a part of it during the early stages of her career due to the various challenges she encountered when seeking mentors.
"I think about that a lot. I've talked a lot about the way that I didn't always feel like I had mentorship, or I didn't know who to reach out to," she said. "I didn't really know if they would want to help me, or I felt embarrassed about it. I think it's really beautiful to create an organization like She Is The Music, where you feel like you can create a sisterhood."
Further, into the interview, Keys added that She Is The Music is more than just about opening doors for young women. The mother of two disclosed that although each person that joins the mentorship program would be given opportunities to work alongside established women, the main goal is to create a sisterhood.
"You can have a place to go where people care about, maybe giving you opportunities to learn under another established woman. Or in a business sense of something that you're interested in," she stated. "I definitely think I would have felt more inclined to reach out and create more of a sisterhood and really know that we can work together and create what we want for ourselves and the world."
On Not Feeling Shameful
Inc. reported that most people feel shameful about seeking help for any particular situation because it isn't ideal for individuals to talk about a problem they may be facing. Another factor contributing to the shame is that mentors usually aren't getting paid for their services.
The publication said that although it may not be ideal to some, in the corporate world, many are always asking others, including the higher ups for advice or help with their issues because it is for the betterment of everyone involved.
On Taking The First Steps
In finding a suitable mentor, one can't be afraid to take the first step.
According to Inc., many professionals are always trying to find ways to "give back to the community," even if it means offering their guidance and knowledge in a particular field. But because those professionals aren't actively seeking mentees, you have to take the first step.
Taking the first step may mean taking the person out for coffee and starting a "conversation to pick their brain" about a particular subject. This tactic could form a long-term relationship that could benefit your career.
On Setting Boundaries
The third and final rule of landing a mentor is to set boundaries early on.
Setting boundaries is important because you want to avoid taking advantage of someone willing to help you. Due to mentoring being, at most times, an unpaid gig, it is essential to only ask for help when needed. Inc. suggested that the one way to set boundaries after obtaining a mentor is to ask them for their availability and preferred contact method.
Hopefully, these three tips have provided some insight into how to land a mentor.
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Feature image by Theo Wargo/Getty Images for Tribeca Festival
On her debut album,CTRL,SZA crooned about her desire to be a “Normal Girl.” Now, nearly eight years since its release, her Not Beauty line represents her commitment to existing outside of traditional beauty norms.
The singer whose real name is Solána Imani Rowe first teased the idea of a lip gloss line during Super Bowl LIX in February, noting that the release would be happening “very shortly.” Not Beauty debuted simultaneously with the Grand National Tour, which she co-headlines with Kendrick Lamar, in Minneapolis on April 19.
Each Not Beauty pop-up would offer fans the opportunity to purchase the glosses, learn more about the brand, and have the opportunity to meet the superstar in the flesh regardless of their ticket status.
During the Los Angeles tour stop, which spanned three dates on May 21, May 23, with the finale on May 24, xoNecole had the opportunity to test out the glosses included in this soft launch, as SZA revealed in a statement that "this is just the start of other lip products, including plans to launch stains, liners, and creams all inspired by SZA's “infamous layered lip combinations.”
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So, what is included in the first Not Beauty launch?
The current Not Beauty products available are lip glosses that come in three shades: In the Flesh, Strawberry Jelly, and Quartz.
During my visit to the first LA Not Beauty pop-up activation, I not only had the chance to purchase all three glosses but also took a peek inside the blow-up log tent. Inside, fans got to experience SZA’s love for nature and her fascination with bugs, which are prominently featured in her performances for this tour. At one point, she even had human preying mantis prancing across the stage y'all.
There were blow-up photos of the beauty that is SZA for fans (myself included) to take photos, but in wooden-like tree trunks were a deeper dive into some of the ingredients featured in her products and their benefits.
For example, the glosses feature Hi-Shine Lip Jelly and Shea Butter as key ingredients and some of the listed benefits included are:
- Shea Butter - “A powerhouse ingredient, offering both functional and nourishing benefits.”
- Hi-Shine Lip Jelly (featured in the In the Flesh shade) - “Formula glides on with perfect adhesion to the lips without stickiness).
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What are in the products?
Featured in an orange package, with images of a bug and flower on the side, the back of the box reads: “It’s NOT BEAUTY, it just works. Developed by Solána “SZA” Rowe.
As someone who never leaves home without a good lip gloss, I loved how compact the wood panel packaging is. Perfect to slip into my purse, or in the case of the show at SoFi Stadium, into my pocket when I’m not carrying a bag.
Because I’m a sucker for a good black and brown lip liner and clear gloss combo, I decided to wear the Quartz flavor on night one of the Grand National Tour LA stop, and it did not disappoint. I’ll admit, it’s light weight feel made me nervous because it felt like there was nothing on my lips. However, when I checked my lips in my compact mirror several times throughout the night, I was shocked to find that my gloss was still intact. I only reapplied once out of the habit of looking cute and applying my gloss, but not necessity.
Here are some of the ingredients featured, but not limited to, in the Quartz flavor.
- Polyisoubutene
- Butyrospermum Parkii (Shea)Butter
- Ricinus Communis (Castor) Seed Oil
- Mentha Piperita (Peppermint) Oil
- Tocopherol
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Lip prep
I’m a simple girl who loves to stay true to her roots. So ahead of the show, I stopped by a local Inglewood Beauty Supply store and grabbed a Black and Brown shade lip pencil for just under $2 a piece.
Shading the outline of my lips with the black pencil first, I used the brown to lightly fill the inside of my lips before applying my Quartz Not Beauty shade gloss.
How to apply
There’s truly no right or wrong way to apply lip gloss (in my opinion), with this being a brush applicator sort of product, I simply untwisted the top and swiped the gloss around my top and bottom lip generously.
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Results
Again, my Not Beauty Quartz product stayed on my lips from the start of the show, which began with a fire DJ set from LA’s very own, Mustard, to the conclusion when Kendrick and SZA reunited on stage to send us home to their duet, “luther,” featured on the rapper's GNX album.
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Devale Ellis On Being A Provider, Marriage Growth & Redefining Fatherhood
In this candid episode of the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker talked with Devale Ellis, actor, social media personality, and star of Zatima, about modern masculinity, learning to be a better husband, emotional presence in marriage, fatherhood for Black men, and leading by example.
“I Wasn’t Present Emotionally”: Devale Ellis on Marriage Growth
Devale Ellis On Learning He Was a ‘Bad Husband’
Ellis grew up believing that a man should prioritize providing for his family. “I know this may come off as misogynistic, but I feel like it’s my responsibility as a man to pay for everything,” he said, emphasizing the wise guidance passed down by his father. However, five years into his marriage to long-time partner Khadeen Ellis, he realized provision wasn’t just financial.
“I was a bad husband because I wasn’t present emotionally… I wasn’t concerned about what she needed outside of the resources.”
Once he shifted his mindset, his marriage improved. “In me trying to be of service to her, I learned that me being of service created a woman who is now willing to be of service to me.”
On Redefining Masculinity and Fatherhood
For Ellis, “being a man is about being consistent.” As a father of four, he sees parenthood as a chance to reshape the future.
“Children give you another chance at life. I have four different opportunities right now to do my life all over again.”
He also works to uplift young Black men, reinforcing their worth in a world that often undermines them. His values extend to his career—Ellis refuses to play roles that involve domestic violence or sexual assault.
On Marriage, Family Planning, and Writing His Story
After his wife’s postpartum preeclampsia, Ellis chose a vasectomy over her taking hormonal birth control, further proving his commitment to their partnership. He and Khadeen share their journey in We Over Me, and his next book, Raising Kings: How Fatherhood Saved Me From Myself, is on the way.
Through honesty and growth, Devale Ellis challenges traditional ideas of masculinity, making his story one that resonates deeply with millennial women.
For the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker peels back the layers of masculinity with candid conversations that challenge stereotypes and celebrate vulnerability. Real men. Real stories. Real talk.
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
Featured image by YouTube/xoNecole