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Zoë Kravitz Almost Bought Into The Idea That 'You're Supposed To Have Kids' At 30

"I don't feel pressured to have kids by a certain time, if I ever have kids."

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At 33 years old, Zoë Kravitz is facing what many women deal with in their thirties, the pressure to start having kids. The Batman star almost gave into the belief that parenthood should be her focus, but was able to let go of those ideals that are almost always pushed on women.


"We all go from being the baby, where you're like, 'I have so much time.' And then, all of a sudden, your gynecologist is like, 'Want to freeze your eggs?' And I'm like, 'I hadn't even thought about that,'" she said in the March 2022 issue of Elle.

"But I don't feel pressured to have kids by a certain time, if I ever have kids. This idea of like, you're 30. You're a grown-up. Now you're supposed to have kids and stop having fun, because that's for children — I bought that for a second."

While she noted that she doesn’t go out like she used to, she still likes to have a good time. "It was like, 'I don't go out anymore. I just make roast chickens.' But I still want to go on adventures, have fun nights, and see the sunrise."

She’s enjoying life now after divorcing Karl Glusman after being married for less than two years. As far as why they divorced? The daughter of Lisa Bonet and Lenny Kravitz said it had more to do with her than her now ex.

"Karl's an incredible human being," she said. "It really is less about him and more about me learning how to ask myself questions about who I am and still learning who I am, and that being okay. That's the journey I'm on right now."

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Zoë is currently dating fellow actor Channing Tatum who she met when she cast him as the lead in her upcoming film Pussy Island. The film, which will make Zoë’s directorial debut is a thriller she wrote pre-#MeToo movement and it was inspired by how women in the entertainment industry are treated. She revealed what made her want to cast her new beau.

“Looking at his work and hearing him speak about Magic Mike and the live show, I’m like, I think he’s a feminist,” she said. “You need to be so far from who this is, where it’s not scary. And I don’t think we’ve ever seen him play someone dark. I’m excited to see him do that.” As far as their relationship, the actress didn’t give too much away, only noting that she’s “happy.”

"I feel optimistic about life, and I think that comes hand in hand with it. All my relationships in life —my friendships, my romantic relationships, my family — the journey is learning how to show up honestly. Sometimes we can't show up, and that's okay as long as we know how to communicate that we love those people."

Featured image by Frazer Harrison/Getty Images

Queen Latifah is saying no to unhealthy and dangerous lifestyles especially when it comes to her career. Since the beginning, the rapper/actress has always been a body-positive role model thanks to the range of characters she has played over the years that shows that size doesn’t matter. In an interview with PEOPLE, The Equalizer star opened up about taking on roles that don't compromise her health.

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When I was ten, my Sunday school teacher put on a brief performance in class that included some of the boys standing in front of the classroom while she stood in front of them holding a heart shaped box of chocolate. One by one, she tells each boy to come and bite a piece of candy and then place the remainder back into the box. After the last boy, she gave the box of now mangled chocolate over to the other Sunday school teacher — who happened to be her real husband — who made a comically puzzled face. She told us that the lesson to be gleaned from this was that if you give your heart away to too many people, once you find “the one,” that your heart would be too damaged. The lesson wasn’t explicitly about sex but the implication was clearly present.

That memory came back to me after a flier went viral last week, advertising an abstinence event titled The Close Your Legs Tour with the specific target demo of teen girls came across my Twitter timeline. The event was met with derision online. Writer, artist, and professor Ashon Crawley said: “We have to refuse shame. it is not yours to hold. legs open or not.” Writer and theologian Candice Marie Benbow said on her Twitter: “Any event where 12-17-year-old girls are being told to ‘keep their legs closed’ is a space where purity culture is being reinforced.”

“Purity culture,” as Benbow referenced, is a culture that teaches primarily girls and women that their value is to be found in their ability to stay chaste and “pure”–as in, non-sexual–for both God and their future husbands.

I grew up in an explicitly evangelical house and church, where I was taught virginity was the best gift a girl can hold on to until she got married. I fortunately never wore a purity ring or had a ceremony where I promised my father I wouldn’t have pre-marital sex. I certainly never even thought of having my hymen examined and the certificate handed over to my father on my wedding day as “proof” that I kept my promise. But the culture was always present. A few years after that chocolate-flavored indoctrination, I was introduced to the fabled car anecdote. “Boys don’t like girls who have been test-driven,” as it goes.

And I believed it for a long time. That to be loved and to be desired by men, it was only right for me to deny myself my own basic human desires, in the hopes of one day meeting a man that would fill all of my fantasies — romantically and sexually. Even if it meant denying my queerness, or even if it meant ignoring how being the only Black and fat girl in a predominantly white Christian space often had me watch all the white girls have their first boyfriends while I didn’t. Something they don’t tell you about purity culture – and that it took me years to learn and unlearn myself – is that there are bodies that are deemed inherently sinful and vulgar. That purity is about the desire to see girls and women shrink themselves, make themselves meek for men.

Purity culture isn’t unlike rape culture which tells young girls in so many ways that their worth can only be found through their bodies. Whether it be through promiscuity or chastity, young girls are instructed on what to do with their bodies before they’ve had time to figure themselves out, separate from a patriarchal lens. That their needs are secondary to that of the men and boys in their lives.

It took me a while —after leaving the church and unlearning the toxic ideals around purity culture rooted in anti-Blackness, fatphobia, heteropatriarchy, and queerphobia — to embrace my body, my sexuality, and my queerness as something that was not only not sinful or dirty, but actually in line with the vision God has over my life. Our bodies don't stop being our temples depending on who we do or who we don’t let in, and our worth isn’t dependent on the width of our legs at any given point.

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