
It's interesting that, if you look up definitions for the word "dream," a lot of times you're going to see something in reference to the images that go through our mind when we're sleeping. It's really only when we take a look at some of the word's synonyms that topics like today really start to resonate. Synonyms like ideas, thoughts, notions, wishes, and desires—these are all things that most of us are referring to when we talk about the dreams that we have in this life.
The irony is, that while we usually want to make our "awake ideas" come to fruition, far too many of us literally sleep on them. That's really sad because dreams don't come to us for absolutely no reason. More times than not, dreams serve quite a profound purpose in our world. We've simply got to do what it takes to make them come true.
If you've got some dreams and you feel like you keep "hitting the wall" when it comes to trying to make them manifest, perhaps this article can connect a few dots for you. Life is short. Dreams are valid. It's important to do all that we can to make them manifest. Ready?
Can You Explain Each Dream in Two Sentences or Less?
When it comes to making your dreams come true, clarity is key. That's because, if you don't really know what your vision for your life is, how can you fully manifest it? That's why I'm such a big fan of encouraging people to sit down and figure out how to define each dream that they have—in no more than one or two sentences. For one thing, it can help them to get a greater understanding of what they desire to accomplish. Plus, when something is reduced to fewer words, it can feel a lot less overwhelming and so much more doable.
For instance, say that you've got a dream of being a writer. Cool. Now, what kind of writer? An entertainment writer? Someone who has a relationship blog? An author? And if an author, published or self-published? After knowing what you want to do, it can also help to jot do why you want to do it. Then you're able to start setting some realistic short-term and long-term goals. Make sense?
I definitely think that one of the main reasons why a lot of people are not able to make their dreams happen is because they keep referring to them in vague and abstract ways. The more you are able to clearly articulate your desires, the easier it will be to make them manifest for you.
How Realistic Are Your Dreams? (Now, Hear Me Out)
I've got a friend who says you can spend years working on areas where you are mediocre and do just okay or you can put that energy into your strengths and excel and thrive. That said, I come from a family of singers. Some pretty darn good ones too. For whatever the reason, I wasn't really encouraged and nurtured in that area and so, it sometimes catches people off guard whenever they hear me do it. Instead, most folks know me as a writer. And while I do think that I can hold a tune, I tend to think that singing is a talent for me while some of my relatives? For them, it's a gift.
What's the difference? To me, a gift is something that is almost supernatural. You were born with it. It comes pretty easily to you. You're able to blow other people's minds—and sometimes, even your own—with a particular ability. A talent is something that you're pretty good at, yet it will take a certain amount of effort to excel in that area. That's one example of what I mean by being realistic about your dreams. Are you trying to progress in a gift or a talent? If it's a talent, are you being realistic about how much time, effort, and energy you're willing to put into it in order to make something happen?
Another angle on the realistic approach is the fact that being realistic is rooted in logic, facts, truth, and common sense. Say that you've got a dream of becoming a chef with your own television show. Yet you only like to cook certain things. You've never taken any kind of cooking or media classes. Your bank account is close to zero. You have no equipment in your house. You hate to network. In fact, you have absolutely no idea what it takes to make that happen. You've just seen some folks on YouTube or TikTok and said, "I bet I can do that."
It's kind of a play on words yet the reality is that a lot of people's dreams don't manifest because they are more caught up in the fantasy of what could be rather than the factuality of things. While I do believe that nothing is impossible, let's be real—some things are more probable than others. When it comes to your dreams, what side of the fence does yours land?
How COMMITTED Are You to Your Dreams?
If there is one word that can separate a lot of people from success and failure, it's commitment. I oftentimes tell couples that I'm working with that if they constantly only focus on what makes them happy at any given time, they probably won't get much accomplished in life. Why do I say that? Happiness is a great emotion and experience. It's also temporary and doesn't really encourage much self-discipline.
Going to work doesn't always make us happy; it pays the bills, though. Working out doesn't always make us happy; it's still good for our health. Letting go of a person, place, thing, or idea that no longer serves us doesn't always make us happy; it's simply best for us in the long run.
Along these same lines, having a dream is one thing. Remaining committed—obligated via a pledge—to it is something entirely different. Commitment requires focus. Commitment requires maturity. Commitment requires putting your feelings aside, sometimes by overlooking how you feel in the now, so that you can do what needs to be done for the sake of your future. Commitment requires resilience. Most of all, commitment requires integrity.
One of the closest people to me has a billion-and-one good ideas. They stick with each one for about two weeks before moving on to something else. Sometimes it's because they allow themselves to get distracted. Other times, it's because they become impatient. Know what else? Sometimes it's because they claim they are no longer "happy" with the concept.
There are a lot of folks out here who will never see the fruition of some of their desires because they would rather be happy than committed when, more times than not, commitment, more than "happiness," is the key that unlocks a lot of doors. If you're not willing to stick "it" out, through the good and challenging times, you're gonna have a really hard time achieving success. Just ask any successful person. They'll vouch for this very point 1000 percent.
What Do You Do to Devote Yourself to Your Dreams? ON THE DAILY.
On the heels of what I just said, "devoted" is a word that I tend to hear less and less. Unfortunately. Sadly, folks are so fickle out here that they only really do what they feel like doing—and chile, that can change from day to day. When it comes to making your dreams happen, I don't care how much natural ability, resources, and even favor you may have, if you're not self-disciplined enough to "plant some seeds" (and then nurture them) into your dreams on a daily basis, that can also hinder you from seeing anything really play out in the long run.
When it comes to putting daily time, effort, and energy into your dreams, while what you do may look different from day to day, you still need to focus on them on the regular. One day, it may be putting a short-term goal together. Another day may be hitting up your mentor for some insight and encouragement. Another day might be actually doing something that will get you closer to your goal (writers write, designers design, artists make art). Another day might be all about networking and marketing.
The point is, a true dream manifester is always thinking about how to get closer to what they want and then doing something—even if it's baby steps—to make it happen. No excuses. Ever.
Is Your Mental State in Alignment with Your Dreams?
Negative people. Moody people. Petty people. Envious people. Bitter people. These are some of the biggest obstacles when it comes to getting your dreams to where you want to go. Matter of fact, not too long ago, I read a tweet that said something along the lines of, "Your biggest haters are the people who used to be your friends." Lawd…LAWD.
I once read a pretty good medical-based article that said that negativity comes in all sorts of forms—cynicism; jumping to conclusions; blaming; catastrophizing (making mountains out of molehills); emotional reasoning (basically letting your feelings supersede common sense and logic); hostility, and filtering (only seeing things through a negative lens) were some of the things on the list. And gee, when you look at negativity from this perspective, it would definitely seem as if there are a lot more negative folks out here than positive ones.
Since negativity can affect your immune system, hormonal balance, sleep patterns, emotional stability and ultimately, even your longevity, if you want to make your dreams happen for you, you've got to be super intentional about leaving negativity alone. Keep naysayers at bay. Protect your energy. Give yourself the kind of pep talks that will get you through each project and milestone.
There is a spiritual kind of warfare that happens when someone has a dream that can ultimately make the world better. You've got to keep this in mind so that you can stay as positive as possible in order to make your dream(s) come true.
Do Your Dreams Complement Your Purpose?
It seems like, at least once a month, someone will ask me how I got my book deals. Did I get a literary agent? Did I hunt down publishers? Did I have to turn in a couple of chapters of an idea before getting an offer? The answer to all of those questions is "no." Both publishing deals were offered to me and I think it's because, since they both aligned so much with what I am called to do, the universe made the deals happen for me. The books complemented my purpose which is helping people in the covenant principles of marriage, sex, and the Sabbath.
Another example of where I'm going with this particular point is my godchildren's mother. Rissi Palmer once made history as a top-charting country music artist. Long story short, all hell broke loose in her life and she took a break. She got married. She had kids. Yet she still created music in the meantime. Something that I kept encouraging her to do was a podcast. She is such a walking library of country music that it only seemed right. Eventually, she started one.
And then, almost immediately, dots began to connect. Someone heard it and connected her to Apple. And y'all, when I say that the rest is history—you can check out her CBS This Morning interview from March 2021 (right here) to get an idea of how life is going for her these days. How did all of this happen? Her dreams of reviving her platform complemented her purpose which is not only singing but opening doors to other female country artists of color.
If you read enough of my content for this platform, you'll notice that "complement" is a big word to me. When something (or one) complements you, it completes or helps to perfect things in your life. When it comes to your dreams complementing your purpose, an article on Mind Body Green that I definitely recommend that you make the time to check out is "10 Signs You've Found Your Calling."
It shares points like mystical things will happen, when you get off course, you'll get redirected and your health will start to improve. Why? Because when your dreams complement your purpose, your dreams help to perfect said purpose, and, since your purpose is the reason for why you exist in the first place, how could you not become more complete by everything coming/working together? Right?
Have You Factored Timing in?
Another friend of mine is a master of timing. You can try and compel them to do something and oftentimes they will be like, "Yeah. Not now." When you ask them why, they don't really have a solid reason other than it doesn't feel right to move at that particular time. And yet, whether it's weeks, months, or sometimes, even a couple of years later, the universe will align things in their world in such a way that, not only do they get what they want, they end up with more than what they ever wanted.
There's a Scripture in the Bible that says that everything has a season, time, and a purpose (Ecclesiastes 3:1). One of the things that I like so much about that is all of those words work together. The right things happen in the right season, at the right time, and for the right purpose. Otherwise, it's not the best thing. That said, on a spiritual plane, whenever I think of timing, I think of a quote that states, "Be careful about rushing God's timing. You never know who or what he is protecting or saving you from." (LISTEN) Then, in a broader sense, another quote on timing that I appreciate is, "Timing is everything. When you're really ready for it, it will come."
Whew. That last one speaks to ego. Some of us get frustrated when our dreams don't happen when we think they should yet many times, God knows that we're not as ready as we think we are for them to manifest. We might not be strong enough. We might not be mature enough. We might not be responsible enough. YET.
While there are many things that we can control in this world, for the most part, one that we honestly can't is timing. So, if while reading this, you honestly believe that you've done all that you can do (have you?), perhaps you need to chill and just trust timing to do its thing. Because when things happen at the right time…it really is for your best in the long run.
Are You Absolutely in Love with Your Dreams?
A couple of years ago, something I wrote for the site was entitled, "Like, Love & In Love: How To Really Know The Difference". When it came to the "in love" part, something that I touched on is it's pretty close to impossible to be "in love" unless the person you love is "in it" along with you. That's because "in" means to be in a place, position, or type of relationship, and "with" means to be accompanied by.
I know this is about to be some red pill thinking but…while you're out here thinking that you're in love with your dreams, have you ever pondered if your dreams are actually in love with you too? If they are lining up with your feelings and beliefs, so that you two can walk this thing about together? If that sounds like a crazy question, look at it this way—true love removes obstacles like pride, ego, and arrogance.
That said, let's not act like there aren't a ton of people out here whose dreams are rooted exactly in those things. And because of that, they aren't really in love with their dreams—they're in lust with the idea of what their dreams can do to further feed into their pride, ego and arrogance.
Dreams? More times than not, they are pure. They are precious. They are designed to bring out the best in us. If some of your dreams sense that you've got some cryptic or shady agendas…well, they may not love you as much as you "love" them. And so, they—and the universe—will actually do things to hinder your progress until some honesty, humility and gratitude—instead of that doggone sense of entitlement that so many folks tend to have—come into play.
This is a good thing because the last thing that any of us need is for our dreams to become our worst nightmares.
While these eight points cannot guarantee that your dreams will become a reality, what I can assure you is the clarity these things are able to provide will get you closer than you've ever been—or position into a better spot. In the meantime, no matter what your thoughts, ideas, or desires may be, don't doubt them. If they are meant to be and you're willing to put in the good work, they will manifest. In due time. The universe totally has your back on that.
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Featured image by Shutterstock
Originally published on April 20, 2021
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Your December 2025 Monthly Horoscopes Are All About Surrender & Alignment
December is about letting go. We end the year with the need for more peace, reflection, and rejuvenation, and that is exactly what December is providing for us. The Sun is in Sagittarius, and anything is possible. This is the month to believe in that and to know that the universe is supporting you. With a Supermoon in Gemini as we begin the month as well, we have an opportunity to gain the closure we have been looking for this year and to wrap up old projects, ideas, and communication breakthroughs.
This is the month to make your peace the priority and let go of trying to control the way the tides are turning. Trust in your new beginning, and give yourself time to prepare for it this month.
A big part of the clarity that is coming through this month is due to Neptune going direct in Pisces on December 10, after being retrograde here since July. With Neptune now direct, we are able to see our inspiration and creativity a little more clearly, providing the perfect energy for dreams and manifestation to be built upon. The smoke is clearing, and it’s up to you to decide what you want to do with this newfound clarity that this transit is bringing. Mercury also moves back into Sagittarius on December 11, which is great for communication and clarity, and the adventures you were trying to see through at the beginning of November come around for you again with greater purpose and support.
On December 15, Mars enters Capricorn until the end of January 2026, and this is the extra push we need to make important changes and to be on the path towards greater abundance, stability, and prosperity. Mars in Capricorn takes care of business, and we have extra energy at our disposal during this time to do so. This transit is an ideal time to focus on your career or financial goals for next year and to start putting some of these plans into motion now. A few days later, we have the New Moon of the month, which will be in Sagittarius on December 19, and this is the perfect New Moon to manifest.
The energy is high, magic is in the air, and it’s all about moving forward with the new beginnings that are inspiring you and bringing you joy to think about right now.
Capricorn Season officially begins on December 21, and this earth sign energy is how we heal, gain closure, and build new foundations in our world. With Venus also moving into a Capricorn a few days later, there is something about peace, prosperity, and security that we are gaining in life and in love as we close out the year, and this is what we need right now. This month is about reflecting on what was, letting go of old hurt, and renewing. December is an ending and a new beginning in one, and there is magic in this space to be created.
Read for your sun and rising sign below to see what December 2025 has in store for you.
AriesKyra Jay for xoNecoleARIES
December is a full-circle moment for you, Aries. You are seeing the gifts in your world and have a lot of gratitude for the way things have come about for you as of late. There are culminations in your world that are providing you with more abundance, stability, and community, and you are exactly where you are meant to be this month. With the Sun in a fellow fire sign and in your 9th house of travel for most of the month, December is a good time to get out of your comfort zone, explore the world around you, and get your body moving.
Mars, your ruling planet, also makes a change and moves into Capricorn on December 15, which will fuel your inspiration and power in your career space. You are making a lot of professional progress as we close out the year; however, make sure to be more mindful of your competitive drive right now. The New Moon on December 19 is the perfect opportunity for you to create some new plans and goals when it comes to traveling, education, and where you want to gain some new inspiration in your world. Overall, this is a month of things coming together for you serendipitously.
TaurusKyra Jay for xoNecoleTAURUS
December is about trusting your intuition, Taurus. You have a lot on your mind this month, and it’s best to delegate, communicate, and allow yourself some relief by opening up to someone and not feeling like you have to hold everything in. As we begin the month, we have a Supermoon in Gemini happening in your house of income, and the plans and projects you have been building here come to fruition for you now. This is the time to gain clarity on your financial world and to take a look at what spending habits you want to let go of here as well.
With Venus in your 8th house of shared resources for most of the month, you are doing a cleanse on your commitments, partnerships, and business ventures. You are taking a look at what you want to dedicate yourself to in the future, and what commitments you may need to let go of now in order to be in the space you truly want to be, both financially and within some of your relationship dynamics. Before we end the month, we have a New Moon in this same area of your chart, and it’s time to look at the opportunities that are presenting themselves and to trust your internal guidance system to lead you forward.
GeminiKyra Jay for xoNecoleGEMINI
You are moving forward fearlessly this month, Gemini. December is your month of love, passion, and dignity, and you are owning the light that you shine. We begin the month with the last Supermoon of the year, happening in your sign, and you are stepping up to the plate. You are showing up, owning how much you have grown this year, and allowing yourself to heal while also acknowledging that you have done your best and you deserve to have fun in the midst of the changes you are creating.
Mercury, your ruling planet, is officially out of retrograde, and you can use this energy to the fullest potential now. With Mercury in your 7th house of love, it’s time to speak from the heart and to talk about the things that matter and that are inspiring you right now to your loved ones. You never know what kind of epiphanies you may have when you open up the conversation to others. Before the month ends, you have a New Moon in this same love area of your chart, and this New Moon is all about manifesting romance, commitment, and abundance in your world.
CancerKyra Jay for xoNecoleCANCER
December is an opening for more love, more joy, and more freedom in your life, Cancer. You have come to a place where you hold so much gratitude in your heart for where you are today and where your heart is shining, and things come together for you with more ease right now. With the Sun in your 6th house of health, work, and daily routines for most of the month, you are getting your ducks in a row while also putting more energy and effort into taking care of yourself, your priorities, and your well-being. This month surprises you in many ways, and it’s because you are showing up.
Mars and Venus both move into your house of love, relationships, marriage, and abundance this month, and you are making strides in your love life. You have both of these opposing forces on your side and are being recognized for the love you are while also receiving the love you want. This month, overall, is about focusing more on the positives in your world and letting your heart have its joy. Before December comes to an end, there is a New Moon in Sagittarius, and this is the perfect opportunity to create the plans you want to see through next year, especially when it comes to your work life, colleagues, business ventures, and health.
LeoKyra Jay for xoNecoleLEO
The scales of karma are balancing, and they are balancing in your favor this month, Leo. December is your month of truth, and of seeing it clearly in your world. The Sun is in your house of romance, pleasure, and happiness for most of the month, and it’s time to relax, be in the present moment, and allow what is meant to be, to be. With a Supermoon in your 11th house of manifestation as December begins, this is a powerful month for seeing your dreams come to fruition, and for feeling like the intentions you have set this year are finally here for you now.
Mars also moves into your 6th house mid-month, and this is the perfect energy to have to move into the new year. You have extra energy at your disposal right now and are feeling fearless with what is possible for you and your daily routine. Before the month ends, we also have a New Moon in a fellow fire sign, Sagittarius, and this is a breakthrough moment for you and your heart. December, overall, wants to show you how loved and supported you are and will be doing so in magical, unexpected, and concrete ways.
VirgoKyra Jay for xoNecoleVIRGO
December is a month of victory, Virgo. You are showing up and experiencing some new successes in your world that move you forward on your path in life. With a Supermoon in your 10th house of career as we begin the month, the effort and intentions you have made this year come into full bloom, and you are being recognized for who you are and the good work you have done. This month is all about showing up and allowing yourself to be seen and loved, knowing that you deserve the support and opportunities you are receiving.
Mars moves into Capricorn on December 15, which brings the passion and excitement into your love life, hobbies, and little pleasures in life that light you up. You want to have fun this month and are going to be walking into the new year with this fearless, happy, and spontaneous energy within you. Before the month ends, Venus also enters Capricorn, and in this same area of your chart, you have a lot to look forward to and believe in right now. Overall, December wants you to be happy and will be doing everything possible to make that happen for you. This is your month to shine, Virgo.
LibraKyra Jay for xoNecoleLIBRA
December is a month of opportunity for you, Libra. New doors open, and you are financially making breakthroughs this month because of it. December begins with a Supermoon in your 9th house, and you are getting a clearer view of where you have been making strides in your life and how it has all brought you here to this present moment of freedom. This month is showing you what happens when you are fearless with your purpose and when you believe in yourself and what you are worthy of.
Moving further into December, Mars moves into your 4th house of home and family mid-month, and you are closing out the year in your safe spaces. You are spending more time with your loved ones and taking the time to quiet your mind and listen to what your heart has been telling you. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in Sagittarius, happening in an area of your life that deals with communication. This is a great time for getting the answers you have been looking for and for feeling more clear-headed and confident about the decisions you are making as you move into the new year.
ScorpioKyra Jay for xoNecoleSCORPIO
Patience is a virtue this month, Scorpio. December is all about remaining patient and vigilant with what you are creating in your world, and knowing that the universe has your back. It’s time to be reminded of the power of hope, and this month is an opening to greater clarity in your life. There is a lot of energy in your financial zones right now, and this is providing you with new opportunities and new insight; however, the speed at which things come about for you may feel daunting. Keep your head up and eyes focused on what you want and know that you are more than worthy of receiving it.
With Mercury in your 2nd house of income this month, December is a good time to plant new seeds and to think about where you want to be financially a month from now or even a year. This month is asking you to think bigger and to think more long-term so that you can set the appropriate plans into motion now. We also have a New Moon in your house of income before the month ends, and this is when you will see more of your dreams come to fruition in this area of your life, and have more opportunities to build. Overall, December will be teaching you a lot, Scorpio.
SagittariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleSAGITTARIUS
Sagittarius Season is here, and there is a lot in store for you this month, Sag. December is all about what you are dedicating yourself to. It’s about setting your intentions and putting the work in to back up your dreams, and about getting things in order so that when the new beginnings come, you are ready for them. The Sun and Venus are in your sign for most of this month, and there are a lot of eyes on you right now. You have the potential to create a new beginning for yourself, and it’s time to invest in yourself, your love life, and your dreams.
Mercury moves into Sagittarius on December 11, and this is giving you another opportunity to see through some of the plans that you had initiated in November. Mercury was retrograde in your sign last month, and there may have been some disruptions to your vision and plans for the future, and now this energy is turning around for you. Before the month ends, we also have a New Moon in Sagittarius, and you are walking through new doors fearlessly. You are catching others by surprise by your growth this month, and you are thinking a lot about your purpose, future, and plans for the new year.
CapricornKyra Jay for xoNecoleCAPRICORN
December is all about the vision, Capricorn. You are moving through a lot of changes and transformations this month, yet they are giving you a chance at a new beginning in the process. You are focused more on the future and what goals you want to manifest for yourself right now, and are ready to let go of what hasn’t been working for you. With the Sun in your 12th house of closure for most of December, this is your time for healing, but remember, healing doesn’t have to be isolating or boring; you can thrive while you renew, and you are this month.
Mid-month, the excitement picks up for you, and you are feeling more energized than you have in a while. Mars moves into Capricorn until the end of January 2026, and you are being proactive with your goals, intentions, and passions. You are a force to be reckoned with this month, and you are making things happen for yourself with confidence. Capricorn Season officially begins on December 21 this year, and this is definitely speeding up your healing process. You are breaking free from what was, and with Venus also moving into Capricorn before the month ends, you are leaving this year in high spirits and with love opening a new door for you.
AquariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleAQUARIUS
December is all about community, creativity, and manifestation, Aquarius. This is the month to work together with others to help bring your dreams to life. You are in a space of inspiration, empowerment, and beauty, and are creating more of this energy around you and in your world. Look out for what support comes your way this month and know that you don’t have to do everything alone to succeed. With the Sun in your 11th house of manifestation and friendship, your intentions are coming to fruition, and it’s time to celebrate with the people you love and to own how far you have come this year.
On December 19, we have a New Moon in Sagittarius, lighting up your life in all of the best ways possible. This is your New Moon of freedom, victory, and magic, and you are seeing new beginnings appear that you were once just hoping for. Before the month comes to an end, Venus moves into your 12th house of closure, and after an active and successful month, you are ready to relax, heal, and give your heart some of the attention it has been asking for. You are moving into the new year with the need to release and renew what hasn’t been working in your relationships, and you are finally ready to.
PiscesKyra Jay for xoNecolePISCES
December is a big month for you, Pisces. You are making some huge accomplishments this month, and are feeling like everything you have been through this year has been worth it for these moments that are coming to fruition for you now. The Sun is in your 10th house of career and reputation for most of the month, and this is where a lot of your focus is right now. You are claiming your successes and putting yourself out there in ways that not only serve you, but that inspire others as well.
Neptune officially goes direct on December 10, after being retrograde in your sign since July, and you are finally seeing things a little more clearly. You are feeling renewed inspiration and passion in your life, and your intuition is your strongest asset right now. Before December comes to an end, we also have a New Moon in your 10th house of career, and what happens now not only changes things for you in the present, but it also opens new doors and what is possible for you in the new year as well. Overall, you are on top of your game this month and are owning the joy and empowerment you feel.
Featured image by Kyra Jay for xoNecole
I already know that this one is gonna hurt a few feelings. The reason why I say that is because, if there is one thing that (many) folks are going to take if they are looking to get a good night’s rest, it’s melatonin, chile.
How do I know? Well, aside from the fact that some people in my own world are hooked on it, it’s also been reported that as many as 27 percent of Americans rely on this particular supplement to catch themselves some nightly zzz’s. That’s why, when I peeped that a particular study about melatonin was damn near viral, I decided that I absolutely needed to use my side of cyberspace to get the word out.
You see the title of this piece. Unfortunately, it is not an exaggeration. If you give me a moment, I will try to explain what is going on and how you should move, going forward, if melatonin is something that you have been relying on in order to get a good night’s rest.
What Is Melatonin?
GiphyOkay, so what exactly is melatonin? It’s actually a hormone in your system that your body produces in order to regulate your circadian rhythm/sleep cycle. Since melatonin tends to kick in 1-3 hours before you turn in at night, that is actually why “losing an hour” (of sunlight) during this time of the year (check out “Is The Drama Of The One-Hour Time Change All In Your Head?”) can throw off your sleep patterns a bit.
If your body doesn’t seem to have enough melatonin naturally, you might find yourself taking a melatonin supplement in order to increase your melatonin levels, although it should go on record that melatonin is also used to treat seasonal depression; a form of reflux disease (GERD); migraines and headaches; fibromyalgia, and even certain types of anxiety. Melatonin also has a reputation for helping to regulate menstrual cycles and slow down the aging of skin and hair. Something else to keep in mind? When melatonin is in supplement form, oftentimes, it is synthetic, which means that it is made in a lab.
Okay, so clearly, melatonin is needed and, as a supplement, it has its benefits.
Then there is the other side of the story. One that just recently came out.
Why Is the Supplement Currently a Cause for Alarm?
GiphyGeeze. There really is no telling how many times I have shared one of my all-time favorite quotes in my content here: “The excess of a virtue is a vice.” Aristotle is the author and it is so very true — including when it comes to melatonin usage. Because here’s the deal: If you are relying on a melatonin supplement to get some sleep, it’s important to note that most health experts say that you shouldn’t take it for more than 1-2 months, tops.
One reason is because melatonin shouldn’t be a “solution” to your sleep problems, so if you can’t get rest without it after several weeks, it really is time to see your doctor. Another reason is because melatonin supplements do have some potential side effects including nausea, vomiting, irritability, restlessness and disorientation. And then there is what has recently come out about it: the possibility of heart failure and even death.
Wild, right? Here’s the deal about that. Did you know that, according to the American Medical Association, the FDA doesn’t regulate most supplements? So, in the case of melatonin, specifically, while one brand might contain a certain amount of it, another may have a ton more. And when someone uses melatonin, consistently, for 12 months or more, they put themselves at a whopping 90 percent increase of heart failure over those who don’t take the supplement at all (the same goes for individuals who have two melatonin prescriptions filled within 90 days of each other vs. those who don’t). Something else to keep in mind? People (involved in the study) who took melatonin were 3.5 times more likely to be hospitalized for heart failure than those who don’t use the supplement too.
Since this is relatively new research, experts are trying to get to the root of why all of this is the case; however, one cardiologist did say that sometimes insomnia itself is the result of an underlying health issue; sometimes one that has to do with one’s heart. So, taking melatonin might further mask a health problem that needs to be immediately addressed. Sleep apnea is one that he mentioned.
These are pretty alarming results, no doubt. Now does this mean that you should avoid melatonin like the plague altogether? Eh. It’s more like you shouldn’t be using it for more than a couple of months. You should talk to your doctor if you are “treating” your sleep issues with it. And it’s always best to find more natural approaches to getting things that you need into your body. When it comes to melatonin, specifically, I’ve got a few ideas.
Other Ways to Get More Melatonin into Your System
GiphyOkay, so what are some other approaches to getting melatonin into your body?
Eat foods that are high in melatonin. Some of them include almonds, fish, milk (which is why a cup of warm milk tends to help), mushrooms, grapes, pineapples and eggs.
Stay in the light as much as possible during the daytime. Something that I like is for it to be rainy, dark and cold (whatever haters — LOL). That’s why I had to adjust the twinkle lights in my living room during the daytime because your natural melatonin levels react to darkness. So, if you’re in the dark all day, that can have your levels all over the place come nightfall.
Make sure that your room is hella dark. Remember what I just said about darkness? Well, even dim light can suppress your melatonin levels. This includes your phone’s screen, okay? So, when it’s time to go to sleep — the darker your room is, the absolute better.
Go easy on the java. It doesn’t really make sense to drink coffee at night since it’s a stimulant; however, even if it’s your jam throughout the day, 1-3 cups should be your limit and definitely earlier in the daytime. The reason? Some studies reveal that caffeine has a way of lowering your natural melatonin levels.
Have more sex. I don’t know too many people who don’t have a GREAT night’s sleep after sex. One reason why is because certain hormones within the body increase during the act; one of them is — yep, you guessed it — melatonin.
5 Other All-Natural Sleep Supplements to Consider
GiphySo, now that we’ve unpacked the current issue with melatonin supplements, if you’re wondering if there are any other sleep-based alternatives for you to consider, the answer is “yes” and here are a few of ‘em.
1. Magnesium. Something that I am forever going to be a fan of is the combination of magnesium, calcium and zinc. All work together really well to calm your nerves, so that you can sleep more soundly. When it comes to magnesium, specifically, it helps to regulate your natural melatonin levels while also relaxing your muscles, so that the quality of your sleep improves.
2. Vitamin D. Vitamin D makes the list because there are studies which say that vitamin D deficiencies are linked to certain sleep disorders. This makes sense when you factor in that vitamin D helps to create natural melatonin, it helps to keep your circadian rhythm where it needs to be and it also reduces bodily inflammation (which can also affect sleep patterns).
3. CBD Oil. Although the FDA doesn’t (currently) consider CBD oil to be a supplement, it tends to be marketed as one which is why it also made the list. Since cannabidiol (CBD) is widely used for to bring relief to pain and anxiety, that is why many enjoy using it as a sleep agent as well.
4. Roman and German Chamomile. Did you know that there are different forms of chamomile? Well, the ones that help with sleep (most) are Roman and German. That’s because both contain a flavonoid called apigenin that has a sedative effect to it. When it comes to this suggestion, individuals oftentimes prefer it in tea form.
5. Glycine. If you’ve never heard of glycine before, it’s an amino acid. When it comes to sleeping, a lot of people like it because it’s been proven to help you fall asleep faster, it soothes your muscles and joints and it also helps you to stay asleep once you fall asleep.
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I know that reading something like this can potentially freak you out. Again, if you’re not downing melatonin like candy and you’re not on it for months and months at a time, you should be fine. If you are on edge, hit up your doctor; they will be happy to explain things further and deeper, I’m sure.
In the meantime, if melatonin is your thing — moderation, please.
After all, the supplement was supposed to be a temporary “fix.” Never a permanent cure.
Which is really what the study is reminding us of.
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