This Content Creator Gets Candid About Touch Starvation In Emotional Video
Recently, a young content creator named Mayte Lisbeth posted an emotional video about experiencing touch starvation. She expressed that she feels she is dying from touch starvation and does not receive hugs. Additionally, if she were to receive a hug, she would crumble. The nearly three-minute video continued as Lisbeth breaks down her need for touch. Healthline says touch starvation or deprivation “occurs when a person experiences little to no touch from other living things.”
According to research posted in the National Library of Medicine, “touch is a powerful tool for communicating positive emotions.” Furthermore, other studies emphasize the importance of social touch. When an individual lacks touch, they can experience the following: depression, anxiety, stress, relationship dissatisfaction, difficulty sleeping, and detachment. Moreover, people who do not enjoy being touched can also experience deprivation due to occasionally longing for a hug or handshake.
Lisbeth’s video was triggering because touch starvation is something I experienced in the past. The first time I experienced this was when I was 17 years old after moving across the country to a state where I had no family. It happened again during the pandemic. I remember going into the pandemic optimistic as I really could be.
It worked for the first several months but quickly spiraled into some of my most challenging times, emotionally and mentally. That feeling was amplified when there was no one I truly loved to hug me. Something about a long embrace from a loved one assured me that no matter how dark my world was at the time, there was a light at the end of my darkness. Being away from my support system was rough during that time of uncertainty.
I was not fully aware of what touch starvation was at the time, but I knew I longed for touch. It was not until I was visiting my best friend and randomly asking for a hug that I remember having an immense sense of anxiety and sadness.
The content creator stated in her video that the solution is more complex than scheduling a hair appointment and receiving services. The form of touch was not suitable because she had no ties to these people. It is more about receiving affection, which can come in touch from someone who cares about her, not specifically a romantic touch.
@mayte.lisbeth Its been five years of touch starvation. I’ll probably have some more years of it. I’m not handling this well.
First, I commend Lisbeth for her vulnerability and courage to speak on a subject many sometimes do not know about or even acknowledge. She even commented that her family was not big huggers, which did not help her touch starvation. She could count how many times she hugged her parents when she saw them last. Unfortunately, a lot of the time, this is the norm for many families. “I do not know how to heal in a community; I only heal alone,” Lisbeth tearfully explained in a follow-up video. People instantly flooded her social media pages with support and suggested solutions, including breathwork, touch work, and even hiring a professional cuddler.
Sadly, many suffer from touch starvation and do not have family or a tribe to contact. If that is your current situation, here are some exercises that copy touch sensation when experiencing touch starvation.
- Blankets – Wrapping yourself up in a blanket can provide comfort. Another option is a weighted blanket. A weighted blanket mimics receiving a hug, which can provide a sense of calm for an individual.
- Self-Touch Breathwork – The counselors at Twinpowerment, LLC taught us a five-step self-holding technique that could help remedy touch starvation.
- Body Pillows (or pillows) – Cuddling up to a body pillow can mimic cuddling and allow comfort during sleep.
- Cuddle Therapy – Like the name states, you can pay a professional to cuddle with. The Institute of Counseling in Nigeria explains that “Cuddle therapy fills a niche that is complementary to traditional talk therapy.” With traditional therapy, a mental health professional cannot touch their clients.
- Companion Animal – Dogs and cats make excellent companion animals. The endless number of cuddles and “kisses” they provide can offer comfort during hard times.
Even though traditional therapists cannot provide touch to their clients, they are a great option if your symptoms from touch starvation increase.
Since then, Lisbeth has posted videos explaining remedies she has tried or is willing to try. Some days are better than others, but she keeps moving forward. I pray she finds peace during these times.
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Exclusive: Dreka Gates Talks Farm Life, Self-Mastery, And Her Wellness Brand
Dreka Gates is making a name in wellness through authenticity and innovativeness. Although we were introduced to her as a music manager for her husband, Kevin Gates, she has now carved out her own lane outside of music as a wellness entrepreneur. But according to Dreka, this is nothing new.
In an xoNecole exclusive, the mom of two opened up about many things, including starting her wellness journey at 13 years old. However, a near-death experience during a procedure at 20 made her start taking her health more seriously.
“There's so many different levels, and now, I'm in a space of just integrating all of this good stuff that I've learned just about just being human, you know?” Dreka tells us. “So it's also fun because it's like a journey of self-discovery and self-mastery. That's what I call it. So it's never-ending.”
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If you follow Dreka, then you’re familiar with her holistic lifestyle, as she’s no stranger to promoting wellness, self-care, and holistic living. She even lives part-time on a Mississippi farm, not far from her grandmother and great-grandmother’s farm, where she spent some summers as a child.
While her grandmother and great-grandmother have passed on, Dreka reflects on that time in her life and how having a farm as an adult is her getting back to her roots. “So the farm was purchased back in 2017, and it was like, ah, that'll just be a place where we go when we're not touring or whatever,” she said.
“But COVID hit, and I was there, and I was on the land, and I just started remembering back to going to my grandmother's during the summertime and freaking picking peas and going and eating mulberries off the freaking tree in the bushes.
“And she literally had cotton plants. I know some people feel weird about picking cotton and stuff. She had cotton plants and I would go and pick cotton out of her garden. And she had chickens, and I literally just broke down in tears one day when I was on the farm just doing all the things, and I'm like, ‘Oh my gosh. I'm literally getting back to my roots.”
"I literally just broke down in tears one day when I was on the farm just doing all the things, and I'm like, ‘Oh my gosh. I'm literally getting back to my roots."
You can catch glimpses of Dreka’s farm life on Instagram, which shows her picking fruit and vegetables and loving on her animals like her camel Eessa. Her passion for growing and cultivating led her to try and grow all of her ingredients for her wellness brand, Dreka Wellness. However, she quickly realized that she might be biting off more than she could chew. But that didn’t stop her from fulfilling her vision.
Watch below as Dreka talks more about her business, her wellness tips, breaking toxic cycles, becoming a doula, and more.
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Job seekers have a lot of challenges to face that go beyond simply being out of work. The job market has been tough since the beginning of this year, mostly beaten down in the aftermath of the pandemic.
Between the job scams, long interview cycles that can last for months, and job ghosting, trying to land a decent gig can be more than frustrating. And it’s not just hearsay or social media chatter. There are very real indicators that the job market is in shambles, explaining why many seeking gainful employment are hitting wall after wall. Research supports that the difficulties you’re facing aren’t just a figment of your imagination and may have nothing to do with what you’re doing “right” or “wrong.”
Talent solutions provider Aerotek has found that close to 70% of people said their current job search was more challenging than their last one and that they feel like they have to try harder to find a new job in this economy. ZipRecruiter reports that 43% of job seekers said they were actively searching for work in the second quarter of this year, an increase from 37% at the end of last year. And 63% said they felt financial pressure to take the first job offer, up from 58% early this year.
Here's are a few reasons, according to the expert, behind what is causing issues with the job market.
1. Companies are taking longer to follow up after job interviews.
And when you do get a call or follow up for an interview, it might take longer to even know whether you got the job or not. Research by human capital advisory firm Josh Bersin Co. and workforce solutions firm AMS found that the “duration for global hiring” is at an “all-time high,” and that the recruitment process now averages about 43 days.
When you have to wait more than a month for confirmation after a job interview, that can put a dent in the proactivity of applying for other jobs, as well as a major dent in your pocket. Unemployment insurance only lasts but so long and sometimes barely covers the full basic expenses of living. It's definitely annoying and nerve-wracking to wait so long for a follow-up from a recruiter or hiring manager, and it's even more so when you thought you aced the interview.
Not to mention you could be waiting just to get rejected, having wasted time on multiple rounds of tedious interviews.
2. Job recovery hasn't quite caught up due to the impact of the pandemic.
Experts say job growth is “downshifting” from the aftermath of the pandemic, and the pace has “caught up to where it would have been if the health crisis hadn’t happened.” Companies and professionals alike are still dealing with the fallout of COVID-19, and it's apparently taken more than three years to see substantial movement forward when it comes to job openings and creation.
3. Many of the open positions may not be in your industry.
According to labor statistics, 272,000 jobs were added in May, with the growth driven mainly by three sectors: healthcare (+68,000), government (+43,000), and leisure and hospitality (+42,000). Jobs created in these industries reportedly accounted for more than half of the U.S. employment gains.
This indicates that it might be a bit more challenging for those in other sectors to land interviews and get hired. This certainly doesn't mean changing industries or fretting because what you do doesn't fall into any of the aforementioned. It simply points to something that could contribute to the frustrations of job seekers who aren't getting callbacks for jobs in other industries.
4. If you're a college graduate, the jobs that are available might not align with your educational background.
Demand for jobs that require a college degree is reportedly lower than those that don’t, and recent grads are also “fixated on certain positions with too many applicants rather than high-demand roles," experts say.
However, another report from Harvard Business School and the Burning Glass Institute found that not all employers who indicate support of skills-based hiring and remove degree requirements from job ads are actually hiring candidates without degrees. “[F]or all its fanfare, the increased opportunity promised by skills-based hiring has borne out in not even 1 in 700 hires last year,” the authors wrote.
Either way, there's a clear issue here in terms of some companies making up their minds about whether not having a college degree will block candidates' eligibility for certain jobs, posing a clear challenge for job seekers whether they've pursued higher education or not.
5. Company leaders, constantly fearing a recession, have been cautious about hiring new workers.
Experts say that company leaders are still holding on to fears that a recession is coming, and are going light on hiring because of this. “Business leaders are still concerned that a recession is possible, even if it’s not 100% certain,” Glassdoor lead economist Daniel Zhao told CNBC earlier this year. “They don’t want to overhire into a recession and then have to lay people off.”
Dan Kaplan, a Korn Ferry senior client partner, added, “No one can figure out what’s ahead, which means you have to make more decisions blindly. Normally, economists will predict a tough market for two of three quarters, and there’s a light at the end of the tunnel, but this time it’s been almost 24 months of predictions of doom and gloom.”
There's Still Hope For Job Seekers
While there are major challenges right now for job seekers, it's always a good idea to look at things with a solutions-focused mindset and approach with optimism. (I mean, do we all really have a choice?) If you're hitting walls in your job search, it's time to think of a better strategy, consider other passions you have, start a side hustle, or try these methods for upgrading your job search methods.
The journey might be more difficult for some and if you feel passionate about doing a certain specific job, hold your ground if you're financially and mentally able to. Keep applying to your dream gig, track what you're doing and how you're spending your time, volunteer to serve in some way in order to continue doing something you love while you're looking, prioritize free self-care activities, and hold on to faith. Something will indeed come through.
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