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These Two Ladies Have The Secrets To The Sex Life You Crave
There was a time when I was all about rolling the windows down and blasting music during my after-work commute. But lately I've been sharing a lot of this time with podcasts. I find myself sitting in parking lots, unable to even get out of the car until I finish listening to whatever interview or conversation has me hooked for the day.
One of my favorites is called Cocktales: Dirty Discussions, hosted by Kiki Said So and Medinah Monroe. Kiki and Medinah are two HBCU graduates and career women who use the show to openly discuss their crazy experiences, dating, and sex. What I like most about the show is the authenticity, the ladies and weekly guests are super honest and don't hold anything back. In just one episode, topics can range from first date and threesomes to masturbation, period sex, baecations and more.
Recently, I had the chance to chat with the two co-hosts about their poppin' podcast and some much-needed tips for great sex:
What made you start 'Cocktales: Dirty Discussions'?
Courtesy of Cocktales
Kiki: I work in radio and at the time I was hearing so much about podcasts. Everybody was beginning to start them and it just sounded like a good idea. Medinah and I have been friends since high school and I knew her personality would be great for the show. We already always talked about the craziness of our dating life anyway, so it was like why not?
I remember hearing that you both are dating now. How has that experience been with the success of the podcast?
Medinah: It can be weird; I was in a long-term relationship when I first started the show. Now I'm newly single, and whenever I meet someone I'm always wondering if they've heard the podcast and what they're thinking.
Kiki: Same here, guys ask questions about the show, or wonder if I'm talking about them on it. At times, they've even tried to "step up" sexually after listening.
One of my favorite parts of the show is the “Cocktales” segment. What are your personal favorite "cocktales"?
Kiki: I remember once I was leaving a wedding and it was an open bar, as all weddings should be. I ended up Uber(ing) and eventually hitchhiking (long story) to an "appointment" to see a guy. Once I got there and we started having sex, I felt my wig slipping. I was on top, and it just kept moving. Eventually I had to tell him, and he snatched it off and threw it across the room! (laughs)
Medinah: A few years ago, I was at an Atlanta strip club we used to go to all the time. I always had an interest in women, but there was a stripper there I really liked. I was with a group, but I felt like a boss because she only wanted to dance for me. Fast forward, we ended up exchanging numbers. Later that night, she sent a car to my house, wined and dined me, and ran me a bath. To date, it's probably one of my favorite girl sex experiences ever.
See, stories like that are what make me ask my next question. What are a few tips for women who crave more from their sex life?
Courtesy of Cocktales
Medinah: Communication is one of the best ways to have great sex. Whether your mate is or isn't giving you everything you need sexually, they don't know it unless you speak up. I like nasty sex and that's not for everybody, some people just aren't as comfortable. Try asking questions to relax them. For example you could ask, "What's your fantasy, or is there anything sexual you've always wanted to try?" Questions like that can make him or her more comfortable.
Kiki: And get a sex toy! Although we live in a time where women feel a lot more free to discuss their sexual desires, there are a lot who are still uncomfortable. Whether you're trying to get out of your own head or experience a more powerful orgasm, the key is learning your body. A sex toy is one way to learn what you enjoy, or dislike. Also you can try a new position with your partner.
Don't be afraid to suggest things that may work better for you, and respond back when they try something new. We have to change the stigma that comes with wanting a good and healthy sex life.
There's nothing wrong with discussing it. There's nothing wrong with having it. As long as we are making decisions based off our wants and desires, it's not bad to want the most from your partner. You can be a career woman and still have good sex!
Want more cocktales from these ladies? Cop some tickets to their live show on May 18, 2019 in Atlanta here. In the meantime, you can always get your life from the weekly episodes of Cocktales every Thursday via Soundcloud and Apple.
Kirby Carroll grew up in VA but now calls Atlanta, GA home. She has a passion for creating content and helping brands grow through storytelling and public relations. When not immersed in work, you can find her sipping a mimosa at brunch or bingeing a new TV drama on Netflix. Keep up with her on social media at @askKirbyCarroll.
How This New Bond Repair Line Transformed One Mother's Postpartum Shedding Into The Ultimate Curl Comeback
This article is in partnership with SheaMoisture
For Crystal Obasanya, her wash day woes came shortly after her son did. The beauty and lifestyle content creator had been natural for years, but during postpartum, she quickly learned about one reality many mothers can relate to experiencing: postpartum hair loss. “Sis had thinning hair. Sis had split ends,” she shared about her hair changes in a Reel via xoNecole.
Over a year into her postpartum journey, Crystal explained she also had dry, brittle hair, noting that keeping it hydrated before pregnancy had already been “a task.” The 4C natural recalled going from thick hair during pregnancy to a thin hairline due to postpartum shedding as “devastating.” When it came to strengthening and revitalizing her hair, the new SheaMoisture Bond Repair Collection was just the thing she needed to elevate her damaged coils to revive and thrive status and get them poppin' again.
SheaMoisture is providing us with the cheat code for transforming dry and damaged strands into thriving and deeply nourished crowns. By unveiling their 4-step hair system, the SheaMoisture Bond Repair Collection is equipping you with the tools to reverse signs of hair damage caused by protective styling, heat, and color and is uniquely formulated for Type 3 and 4 hair textures.
The haircare system revives damaged natural hair by repairing and rebuilding broken hair bonds through a game-changing combination of HydroPlex Technology and AminoBlend Complex, a unique blend of fortifying amino acids formulated specifically for curly and coily hair. Scientifically proven to reduce breakage by 84% and make your hair six times stronger (vs. non-conditioning shampoo), the collection infuses your hair with the nourishment it craves and the strength it deserves.
All five products of the SheaMoisture Bond Collection are infused with natural strengthening ingredients like Amla Oil and fair-trade shea butter. The collection consists of the 4-step breakage-fighting Bond Repair system, as well as the Bonding Oil.
“When trying it out, I quickly noticed that my hair felt revived and renewed, and my curls were so hydrated,” Crystal said while using the Amla-infused Bond Repair Leave-In Conditioner. “I also felt my hair strands were stronger.” So much so that the influencer felt brave enough to get her hair braided shortly thereafter. “I can definitely say that I will be keeping it in my hair wash routine,” she added in the caption of her Reel about her positive experience using the products.
SheaMoisture Bond Repair Collection is making bond-building a key player in your wash day routines and the purveyor of life for thirsty manes. Because who doesn't want stronger, shinier, happier hair?
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Rejuvenate your hair with SheaMoisture Bond Repair Shampoo, your go-to solution for luscious locks. Packed with hella hydration power, this shampoo adds moisture by 60% while removing buildup without stripping your strands. This shampoo gently cleanses impurities while significantly enhancing shine, smoothness, and softness.
The Bond Repair Collection Shampoo is the first step in the 4-step Bond Repair system, all of which are powered by the uniquely formulated AminoBlend, and HydroPlex, SheaMoisture’s technology that rebuilds hair strength at its core.
Step Two: Bond Repair Collection Conditioner
Tailored to repair styling damage, this creamy conditioner locks in 12x more moisture than standard non-conditioning shampoos, boosting damaged hair strength by 1.5x with significantly less breakage. The creamy SheaMoisture Bond Repair Collection Conditioner deeply hydrates, enhances manageability, and leaves your hair looking healthier and shinier.
Step Three: Bond Repair Collection Masque
This Ultra Moisturizing reparative masque is a moisture-rich game-changer for those dealing with the aftermath of hair damage caused by styling. The SheaMoisture Bond Repair Collection Masque delivers 13 times more moisture compared to non-conditioning shampoos, ensuring your hair feels nourished and soft. Designed to repair and rejuvenate, this masque significantly strengthens damaged hair — making it twice as strong while reducing breakage.
Step Four: Bond Repair Collection Leave-In Conditioner
Elevate your curl game with SheaMoisture’s Bond Repair Collection Leave-In Conditioner. Lightweight and hydrating, the Bond Repair Leave-In Conditioner provides 12x more moisture than non-conditioning shampoos and tames frizz with 24-hour humidity control. Designed to define curls and coils, the leave-in conditioner enhances softness and shine allowing you to detangle effortlessly.
Bonding Oil
The SheaMoisture Bond Repair Collection Bonding Oil is a multitasking all-in-one formula that acts as a heat protectant and provides the hair with moisture, strength, shine, damage protection, and intense nourishment. This lightweight oil not only offers 24-hour frizz and humidity control but also fortifies your tresses, making them up to 5 times stronger with significantly less breakage.
Featured image courtesy
'ACross Generations With Tiffany Cross' Gets Real About Daddy Issues In Latest Episode
In this week’s episode of ACross Generations with Tiffany Cross, a podcast where Black women from different generations tackle pressing subjects while sharing their experiences. The show's host, Tiffany Cross, along with guests Dr. Joy Ellington and Ariel B., delved into how their relationships with their fathers have influenced their personal lives.
An absent parent or a strained parent-child relationship, particularly between fathers and their children, can significantly affect an individual's life trajectory, especially their perception and formation of interpersonal relationships.
Research suggests that individuals grappling with paternal absence or conflict may exhibit various traits, including a constant need for validation, difficulty in communicating through problems, using sex to gain attention, and struggles with trust and abandonment, to name a few.
Historically, society has often associated absentee fathers primarily with the Black community. However, a recent study has challenged this narrative.
In a clip shared on the podcast's official Instagram account, Dr. Joy Ellington revealed insights into her quest for approval, a pattern she attributed to her strained relationship with her biological father—a dynamic that remained unresolved until his untimely passing.
"When people are seeking validation from someone else, be it from a father or whoever, you're weakened, she said. "You've given the control of your life to someone else, to their discretion. I can't afford to do that because I only have -- one life."
Despite the complex relationship with her biological father, Dr. Joy Ellington disclosed that she found the love and sense of wholeness she had been missing through her bond with her stepfather.
Further in the video, Ariel B., who was adopted and never met her biological father, reveals her struggle to differentiate between sex and love.
"I know that I struggle separating sex with love very bad," she stated. "I have girlfriends all the time that are just like, 'Oh, knock the dust off!' That sounds terrible. Just use it when you want to."
In response to this admission, Tiffany echoed Ariel B.'s sentiment, suggesting that understanding one's sexual behavior requires examining the underlying intentions.
"I'm actually a little envious. You're not trying to resolve some daddy issues. Like maybe you just have agency over your sexuality, and this is what you like to do,” she said.
Toward the end of the clip, Dr. Joy Ellington revealed that her upbringing in a predominantly male environment, coupled with her experiences with her biological father, has made it challenging for her to express emotions.
"I had a great aunt that had seven sons. I lived my life with them," she said. "It's hard for me to cry. I don't mind. I was never going to be that beggy woman. I don't need you, but I don't let the desire to dictate my feelings."
Discussions on these topics are crucial within the Black community because it allows individuals to uncover their traumas' root causes and begin the healing process.
For those interested in exploring this subject further, the full episode of Across Generations with Tiffany Cross is available now on its official YouTube page.