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From hair styling oils to bond repairing products, and strengthening shampoo and conditioner, SheaMoisture offers a range of products that help you achieve the perfect silk press without worrying about the heat damage, thanks to formulas that moisturize, reduce breakage, and more.
We want your silk press to stay pressed, not stressed, so here’s our quick, three-step guide featuring SheaMoisture products from our xoNecole Summer It List for straightened hair all summer long.
Step 1: Keep Your Hair Strong
Like everything in life, if the foundation is rocky, things won’t last, and the sentiment remains when it comes to your hair.
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Step 2: Seal The Deal With Some Shine
Whether you’re preparing to attend a summer wedding or hitting a rooftop with your girlfriends, finishing the look with SheaMoisture’s Manuka Honey & Yogurt Lightweight Oil serves you and your hair right by adding luster, locking in moisture, and taming flyaways.
Step 3: Repair Your Hair Following The Heat
Before jumping into your next style, a moisturizing cleanse is a great repair duo to put the life back into your hair after a silk press.
The SheaMoisture Jamaican Black Castor Oil Shampoo and Conditioner offers damage-repairing benefits that will have your hair thanking you. It restores, nourishes, and strengthens hair, eases detangling, and brings damaged hair back to life with shine and movement, while most importantly, restoring moisture.
Who said that straight hair was off the table during the summer heat wave? With SheaMoisture and a plan, you’ll hit the scene like the It Girl you are for every summer festivity.
Consider your It Girl era unlocked. Shop all of our beauty and lifestyle must-haves on The It List.
Featured image courtesy of SheaMoisture
Because here’s the thing — just as love has seasons and stages, so does, well, grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance, and what a lot of people don’t tell you is the stages can come in cycles and even overlap. It’s important that when this happens, you are both self-compassionate as well as hypervigilant when it comes to implementing self-care.
And that’s what moved me so about the lead video for this piece (see below), where Regina King (someone who I enjoy and appreciate on so many levels) is talking about where she currently is, in her own grief, almost three years after her son Ian’s passing. In her eyes, there is both sadness (a stage of grief) and resilience (a form of acceptance) and, to me, it serves as a reminder that through grief, we must nurture self. It is essential. It is paramount.
The article continues after the video.
If you are currently in the stage of grieving something or someone, here are 10 things that you can do, physically, to get through — not over but through — what you are currently experiencing. Because another quote that I honor about grief? “Sometimes the healing hurts more than the wound.” (Unknown)
Or, as my mother used to say, “Surgery hurts but it can also cure.” Amen.
1. Do Some Grief-Themed Meditations
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Meditation is something that we’re always gonna back over on this side of the internet because science gives us far too many reasons to. Over the years, research has proven that meditation reduces stress and anxiety, promotes self-awareness and a higher sense of self-worth and it can help you to become more compassionate while improving your quality of rest.
And when it comes to grief, specifically, by getting still enough to feel what you are going through (whatever stage of grief it may be), it can help you to understand what your present needs are, it can encourage you to be kinder and more patient with yourself and it can also reduce your chances of falling into depression. If you would like to tap into this more, check out Mindful’s “A 12-Minute Meditation for Grief and Loss” or go to YouTube and put “grief meditations” in the search field.
2. Use Essential Oils (That Make the Grieving Process Easier)
At this point, I’m really starting to wonder if there is anything that essential oils can’t do. I say that because, over the years, I’ve written articles like, “8 Essential Oils That Will Manifest (More Of) Your Feminine Energy” and “You'd Be Amazed How Much These 10 Essential Oils Can Give You Some Blissful Sleep” — and, believe it or not, there are even oils that can help to bring ease and comfort during the grieving process.
Some of those include lavender (it decreases anxiety); chamomile (it helps to balance your moods); sandalwood (it calms your senses); jasmine (it cultivates peace), and rosemary (it reduces your cortisol levels which basically means that it reduces stress).
To get the most out of these oils, you can either apply them to one of your pressure points, put them into a diffuser and add a couple of drops to your bedding for a more restful night’s sleep.
3. Spend More Time in Nature
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There is a chapter in the Bible that says there is a time and season for everything. If you read Ecclesiastes 3 all the way through, you will notice that there are times for death, crying, mourning and losing — it’s all a part of life. And perhaps the reason why nature can help us to get through those things is because it literally goes through seasons of transition; it’s not summer all of the time and it’s not winter all of the time either.
Aside from the “poetic” insights that nature can provide, the American Psychological Association says that doing something as simple as taking a walk outdoors can lower your stress levels, help you to feel happier and it can boost your cognitive abilities. In fact, if you want to bring some nature indoors, plants have a way of also reducing your stress levels and making you physically feel better (since they help to keep indoor pollution down to a minimum).
4. Limit Your Alcohol Intake
It’s not uncommon that, when some people are going through certain stages of grief, they will drink alcohol more often than they usually do. The challenge with that is, although it may feel like an initial stimulant, it’s actually a depressant; this means that it can slow down your brain and make you feel calm at first while also blurring your vision, impairing your judgment and causing you to feel disoriented in the process.
The roller coaster ride of what alcohol can do is why it’s not a good idea to consume a lot of it if you are going through an intense grieving process. Because here’s the thing — it’s not as difficult to develop a dependency on alcohol as you might think; especially if you have a family history of alcoholism or you’ve relied on it as a way to cope with stress or pressures in the past.
5. Up Your Vitamin B, C and Magnesium Doses
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It’s pretty understandable that while you are grieving, you may not have much of an appetite; that’s why it’s important to take supplements in order to get certain nutrients into your system. For instance, B-vitamins help to reduce stress, anxiety and feelings related to depression; vitamin C will strengthen your immunity (because the last thing that you want to be is sick when you’re grieving) and, to keep your cortisol (stress hormone) levels in check, magnesium will help to stabilize your moods.
By the way — foods that are high in “B” include spinach, eggs and beef; foods that are filled with Vitamin C include citrus fruit, berries and yellow peppers, and foods that are packed with magnesium include whole grains, avocados and cashews.
6. Get More Hugs
Not too long ago, I stumbled across an article entitled, “A Hug Only Takes 10 Seconds, Yet the Benefits Last Forever” and it really is true. For one thing, hugs are a physical expression of sympathy, compassion and even empathy — and all of that can help to decrease your stress levels, reduce feelings of fear (yes, literally) and lower experiences of (mild) physical pain and discomfort that you might have. Also, hugs can make it easier for you to express whatever you may be currently going through to other people.
In fact, some therapists say that we need multiple hugs a day, whether we are feeling low/need an extra layer of support or not. How many exactly? Popular therapist Virginia Satir believes this: “We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth.” So, even if you think that you don’t feel like receiving physical affection, be open to it. A hug can do what all of these other tips simply…can’t.
7. Make Plans for Special Days (That Are Connected to Your Grief)
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Ask anyone who has lost someone close to them (whether it was through death, a break-up or life-altering transition of a relationship…of any kind) and they will probably tell you that holidays, birthdays and anniversaries are oftentimes the hardest days to get through. To this, I say, make a point to do something special — whether grand or small — on those days instead of dreading them.
When it comes to my late fiancé, he will have been gone 30 years this November 3. Every year, I will get his favorite Checker’s meal (that man ate Checker’s and pizza more than anything else; it was wild!) and listen to some of his favorite music (The Roots, Biggie, D’Angelo, Faith Evans and Groove Theory…for starters; he used to intern where he would get early releases of things and it was awesome). It always puts a smile on my face to do so because it reminds me that love doesn’t die…it shifts forms.
8. Try a Grief Journal and/or Grief Therapy
So, here’s the thing about journaling — if writing isn’t really your thing (or grieving currently has you feeling pretty close to exhausted most of the time), you can always pull out your phone and record some voice notes. Just remember that there is plenty of research which supports that journaling (of any kind) can help to relieve anxiety, reduce stress and help you to face whatever you are feeling head-on. A bonus? If you journal consistently, it can help you to document the progress that you are making through your feelings and stages of grieving.
The same thing can be said for grief therapy; especially since grief therapists/counselors/life coaches are trained to help you get through whatever season of grief that you might be going through.
And what are some clear indicators that you might need some extra assistance with your grief? You are experiencing suicidal ideations. You seem “stuck” in a stage (especially if it is sadness or anger). You don’t have any reliable support (meaning, you feel like you are dealing with everything that you are going through on your own). You are participating in (potentially) destructive habits or acts of self-sabotage. Your grief is affecting your quality of life (long-term). If any of these apply, please let someone know. There is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. Again, grief comes to us all.
9. Add More “Comfort” to Your Bedding
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Personally, I’m a believer when it comes to color psychology (check out “Understanding Color Psychology Will Sharpen Your Lens On Life” and “This Is How Color Psychology Can Significantly Improve Your Sex Life”) and that is why I definitely think that when you are going through the grieving process, you should consider upgrading/updating your bedding. Since sleep is probably already a challenge for you (because grief elevates stress and stress is tied to restlessness and insomnia), sometimes a change of scenery in your bedroom can feel comforting.
First up, go with colors that cultivate feelings of happiness and security like shades of blue, orange, pink, yellow and green. Invest in a(nother) down or down alternative comforter. Surround yourself with, what I call “stuffed animals for adults” — tons of pillows; they can provide comfort and a sense of protection at night. You need to feel nuzzled in comfort at night — new bedding can help to make that happen.
10. Put Yourself on a Sleep Schedule
As you’re going through the various stages of grief (sometimes more than once), I actually read before that an acute level of it can take somewhere around a year before you settle into a new normal. During that time, your heart rate might randomly speed up, you may experience joint discomfort and headaches, concentrating could prove to be challenging, you might catch colds quicker and easier — and yes, all of this can lead to really struggling with getting to sleep.
Something that can help with this is putting yourself on a sleep schedule. By creating (and maintaining) a sleep schedule for yourself, that can place your circadian rhythm (the 24-hour cycle that helps you to get the kind of sleep that you need) into a routine that can make it easier for you to not only fall asleep but stay asleep — and the more rest you have, the easier it will be to face the grief cycles that you are going through. For other tips on how to get the quality of sleep that you both need and deserve, check out “These Sleep Hacks Will Make Getting A Good Night’s Rest So Much Easier.”
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Artist Yumi Sakugawa once said, “Sometimes it’s okay if the only thing you did today was breathe.” When you’re walking through grief, please take this especially to heart.
And listen, if you apply even one of these tips to your breathing, pat yourself on the back. You are showing signs of wanting to get through the grief — and that makes you stronger than you will ever know.
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