Sylvia Obell isn't a new name to many in the industry.
The North Carolina A&T and Columbia Journalism School graduate has held multiple stints at some of today's leading media outlets, including her current role as entertainment reporter for BuzzFeed News. While tasked with the constant work of reading, researching, and reporting today's biggest breaking news to the mainstream, Obell also has a responsibility to serve a demographic that is undeniably forgotten about consistently in media: Black people.
That's why Hella Opinions, an unapologetically Black show, initially started to recap the popular HBO show, Insecure, means so much to the journalist. "It provides a safe space for cultural references that don't have to be explained and codes that don't have to be switched," Sylvia told xoNecole. "We can talk freely like we would at a kickback among friends and occasionally break into songs from Sister Act 2 without judgment. That's a real thing that happened last week."
Read on to learn more about Hella Opinions and the dynamic team of Black creatives behind it:
How did you get into journalism and storytelling? Did you always know you wanted to tell other people's stories?
Writing was always my strong point in school, I enjoyed it but knew I didn't have the patience to be an author full-time. My love for pop culture magazines and Black magazines that told our stories led me to journalism. Being able to help someone find their story, and amplify it in a way that could inspire/inform/empower others was definitely the allure to me early on when I was just a local news reporter, and even then I would highlight a real-life Black woman doing something impactful in her community; that was at my first job at Essence in the "10 Things We're Talking About This Month" column.
How did 'Hella Opinions' come to be? What was the original thought process behind the show?
BuzzFeed News had gotten into original programming the year before with AM to DM and was accepting pitches. Our Entertainment News editor, Kovie Biakolo, pitched the idea of an Insecure aftershow for Twitter Live with me tied to it as the host. She felt like both the show and I understood the pulse of Black culture and the conversations Black millennials are having as a result of shows like it.
On my end, I had been guest hosting AM to DM over the past year and it had become clear to me and higher-ups like Shani Hilton and Cindy that I was good on-camera. I had been thinking of the right opportunity to do something outside of the morning show so the pitch from Kovie was perfect, and I jumped on immediately to help her develop the show. The "Men Are Trash" segment was one of my first ideas. The name of the show was actually one of the very first I came up with, but we pitched like 100 others before we ultimately came back around to it.
Now more than ever, we're seeing more Black creators create our own lanes and champion ourselves when mainstream media doesn't do it. How does 'Hella Opinions' add into that celebration and into the larger conversations we're having right now?
My favorite thing about Hella Opinions is that it provides a lane for Black media personalities and experts to come on a platform like BuzzFeed. It opens a lane for them to reach a people they may not have been reaching or flex muscles they hadn't been able to at their current job. There's so many talented black creatives in the city that deserve a chance to be seen on a mainstream platform, I'm happy that Hella is playing a small role in doing that. The result of having an intentionally curated Black-only panel is that the conversations are automatically genuine because we are the ones pushing, leading them on social media.
"The result of having an intentionally curated black-only panel is that the conversations are automatically genuine because we are the ones pushing/leading them on social media."
A lot of people don't know the time and resources it takes to produce and run a show. How do you balance a show and your 9-5, and what type of research and work does it require of you?
Yeah it's definitely a lot, but thankfully I have an amazing team made up entirely of Black women – something I can thank EP's Kovie and Tracey Eyers for because they made the hires and manage the staffing. The show's senior producer Donya Blaze really took the baton and ran with it when she came on for S2. We were working on re-developing the show from an Insecure aftershow to a nightly show with a Black culture lens and she gave it a script format that manages to do just that.
Together, with our new segment producer Diane Oswu (who truly gets my humor), Donya created segments like "Unpack It" where we have a deep conversation about issues pressing the Black community on and offline; "Black AF" trivia; "Preaching or Reaching" where we decide if selected tweets are doing the most or just enough; "First of All" which is basically our version of hot topics.
There is nothing else on Twitter right now like the show. What do you think has added to the show's success and the dialogue that it is having on Black media?
I think it's that there are so many great Black culture podcasts, but not many video shows that have the production quality that a company like BuzzFeed is able to provide. I love seeing our energy play out, the way we laugh, dap each other up, roll our eyes, make faces, sip tea (or in the case liquor) – those are things you miss on a podcast. Black people are also just beautiful AF and I love seeing us on camera every chance I get so I'm just happy to be able to provide one of those chances. There's also the way we incorporate Twitter, we also use tweets to drive the show's conversation because we want it to feel like an extension of the conversations we're all having on the platform.
What is missing in today's media? What is the show adding to our communities?
I'm not sure how many FUBU productions exist with this kind of budget but there's definitely not enough. This show is run by Black women behind the camera and on camera. All the major positions are filled by us. I've never had this much freedom over the kind of content I'm creating, it's something I want as many Black women to feel as possible. Give us all shows! Let us write and produce everything. Sometimes my guests catch themselves mid-conversation like, "Oh can I say that?" or "oh my bad I just said nigga" and I'm constantly reassuring everyone that they can be their unapologetic Black selves.
And these are folks who are not new to this media game. I can't wait 'til experiences like this are more common than not with us. The short of it is, what's missing from today's media is more Black women being given the reins to have fun on the job. I get to have fun with old and new friends week-to-week; that energy translates to those watching. At least that's my hope.
Instagram/ @sylviaobell
"What's missing from today's media is more Black women being given the reins to have fun on the job. I get to have fun with old and new friends week-to-week; that energy translates to those watching."
What's next for you and for Hella Opinions?
We've been really fortunate that BuzzFeed News has decided to continue to invest in this season enough for it to be about twice as long as the first. It would be great if brands could notice what we're doing and see this as a show they'd like to sponsor in some way; to pour back into us as we attempt to pour into our community. I told myself from day one, "This show will do for my career whatever it's supposed to do for my career."
If I put too much expectation or stress on it, I think it would show and also eat at me all the time. Digital media has taught me to only plan about 3-4 months ahead at a time because things change quickly and often. What I do know is that whether this show lasts a long time or not, hosting is something I'm good at and want to continue to do for as long as I can. And that's a sentence I would've been shocked to hear myself say this time last year.
For more Sylvia, follow her on Instagram @sylviaobell.
Originally published on January 9, 2019
Featured image courtesy of Sylvia Obell
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Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
___
Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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