
Having been up since 4 in the morning and fresh off a flight from the East Coast, there is a tinge of fatigue in Melvin Gregg's voice. And understandably so. He later reveals that despite the long flight back to LA, he'll be headed to audition not too long after our conversation ends. Such is the life of an up-and-coming, especially as an already in-high-demand actor.
With several critically acclaimed films and series under his belt like American Vandal, High Flying Bird, and most recently, Snowfall on FX, it's safe to say that "busy" is now Melvin's new normal. Which is arguably in stark contrast to how things were when they were just getting started. Originally moving to California to pursue acting, Gregg found himself trying to secure as many gigs as he could--which often came in the form of short commercials and indie films.
But it wasn't until he decided to take his talents to the streets of social media, that he would begin gaining more leverage to support his acting endeavors and eventually land his way back on the big screen. He tells xoNecole, "With doing all of that, I was really just trying to get back into traditional media. Acting was always the goal. I redirected my focus at the top of 2018 and I've been able to consistently work and level up with each project. I'm thankful, but I'm not content. But I do understand the process and I trust it completely."
We got the chance to catch up with Melvin where we talked about stepping away from Vine, what he appreciates most about his current relationship, and why he feels that true love is all about timing.
xoNecole: It's safe to say that most people were introduced to via your hilarious videos from Vine. Was it hard translating your talents from just a social media setting to a more traditional one?
Melvin Gregg: Not really, I was acting honestly before I did social media. Social media was sort of a stretch for me because I'm somewhat introverted. So being over the top and what I had to be online, my energy had to be a lot higher. And with the platform I was working on (Vine), it had a majority audience that I wasn't used to. So I had to adapt and study what was working, teach and train myself to do it. Coming back over to traditional media was where I wanted to be so it wasn't that hard. But the hardest thing I will say is that, when you create a monster with social media, you have to fight it when you move back over. Because people only want to see you in the light they first saw you in, you kind of have to go uphill to try to win people over on a different medium.
"When you create a monster with social media, you have to fight it when you move back over. Because people only want to see you in the light they first saw you in, you kind of have to go uphill to try to win people over on a different medium."
Which do you enjoy more: creating social content or acting in traditional films/TV shows?
The content I created online was never anything to where I had to come out of myself in a public space in the sense that I wasn't doing stunts or pranks. Everything I did, I produced, edited, [and] I was working with other actors as well. So it was similar to the traditional format, it was just a lot shorter. What I enjoyed was just having creative control to really do what I wanted to do, from top to bottom. Writing the product to shooting, directing and editing. But when it comes to acting, you pretty much only have one job. I enjoy it though because it is a longer format and you do have time to really play up your character and win the audience over. But as far as digital--I enjoy the creative control more. So I guess the ideal would be creating content on the traditional format in the same way I did in the shorter format.
I want to switch gears and talk relationships. Are you down?
Of course, let's do it.
You're a funny guy. Is it important that your girl can keep up with you in terms of humor? Is that necessary for you?
You know what? I think having a great sense of humor where you get my jokes is important--but I feel like I'm witty more than anything. So if a girl can get that, I appreciate that. If she's not, then it's really not going to work out because the conversation's going to be dull. She doesn't have to be a comedian or crack jokes all the time but there's nothing worse than when you tell a joke and the person doesn't get it. It's like "that awkward moment when." It's one of the biggest buzzkills.
Speaking of relationships, are you taken or are you single?
No, I'm not single, I have a girl.
What was it about her that made you realize you were ready to commit and make things official?
I'm really good with intuition, so when I first saw her, I felt like I knew who she was. And over time, she just proved that she really was who I thought she was. And it just worked out that way, it was nothing specific--I just knew. She had the qualities I was looking for.
"When I first saw her, I felt like I knew who she was. And over time, she just proved that she really was who I thought she was. And it just worked out that way, it was nothing specific--I just knew."
What do you do to make her feel special?
Of course she gets the majority of my time and attention. I do things that I know she likes. I'm really into the small thoughtful things. Painting her pictures, writing her letters, going out and buying her plants, you know the little things. I'm not into the extravagant gifts. I'm into being thoughtful.
What do you appreciate most about your girlfriend and your relationship?
That she's my best friend. It's about more than just the physical. If something were to happen to where we're not together anymore, she could still be my best friend. I'd still want her in my life, to the point where it would probably get in the way of every other relationship I would have. I don't understand how somebody could be all about this one person and they mean so much to you and then something happens and they never talk again. That's weird, especially if you connect with that person on so many different levels.
I get that. So, what's something you didn’t do in your last relationship that you definitely want to implement in this current relationship?
Be more affectionate. Where I'm from, people don't really show affection; I never saw it in the household. They show affection by talking sh-t to each other; so it was hard for me to put my guard down and be vulnerable. I'm still working on it, I'm a work in progress for sure.
I think we all are if we’re honest. So for you personally, what would you say are the biggest love lessons you’ve learned thus far?
Put your pride aside for one, you have to do that when you're with someone you care for. You don't want to lose somebody you love over your pride. And also just communication. Whatever's on your mind, you need to address it. Bring it to the frontline, because the other person could be thinking the same thing. Or maybe, you might think something is going on and you want to address it in a certain way, when in reality--there's nothing going on. But through conversation, you can figure that out rather than blindly playing games.
"Put your pride aside for one, you have to do that when you're with someone you care for. You don't want to lose somebody you love over your pride."
What's the biggest misconception women or people in general have about you?
I think that I'm always joking. Most people always say I'm different from what they expect when they meet me. For women, I think a lot of them think or thought that I'm some womanizer. It's a misconception because of the videos and things that I put online so it's partially my fault (laughs). For other people, everything on social media is transparency when it comes to their real-life but not for me. It was just a platform for me to distribute the content I created, none of that was real. But a lot of people mistook it for being real. But again, that's partially my fault.
What do you know now about love that you didn’t know before?
I always felt like I had a good understanding about what love was, but I cared more about what I wanted. So you can't be selfish and I was selfish in the sense that, there were other things I wanted to do first before I committed to love. But it's really all about timing, that's the most important. And not just yours, but the other person's as well.You can't rush love [and] you can't put it on the backburner then try to come back to it.
For more of Melvin, you can follow him on Instagram.
Featured image by Melvin Gregg/Instagram
This Is How To Keep 'Holiday Season Stress' From Infecting Your Relationship
Hmph. Maybe it’s just me, but it seems like there is something really weird happening in the fall season air (because winter doesn’t officially begin until December 21) that cuddle season is in full swing while break-up season is as well. In fact, did you know that break-ups are so popular during the holiday season that December 11 is deemed Break-Up Day?
The reasons why relationships shift around this time vary; however, I did both roll my eyes and chuckle when I read that a very popular one is because it’s an easy way to get out of getting one’s significant other a Christmas present. SMDH.
Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
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Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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Featured image by Shutterstock
Whew. Did you know that somewhere around 122 million Americans travel during the holiday season? Listen, I went to see my godbabies this past September and got caught up in a crazy ass traffic jam at BNA (the Nashville airport) that damn near has me considering air travel ever again — especially during this time of the year.
Besides, it’s not like it’s a written rule that you have to travel over the holidays. In fact, if you want to play it chill this year, why not enjoy a staycation instead? Although it might seem like it’s a “poor man’s compromise,” as you’re about to see, it actually…isn’t.
1. Go All Out with the Christmas Décor
GiphyThere is someone I know who is so obsessed with Christmas, she’s damn near annoying-borderline-terrifying. I’m. Not. Kidding. Yet hey, if you’re going to do a holiday-themed staycation (emphasis on “holiday-themed”), that’s kind of how you’ve got to be. Some décor ideas include:
- A fresh Christmas tree (is the most ideal) that is ultimately decorated
- Wreaths on outside and inside doors
- Garland (with twinkle lights) in predictable and unpredictable places
- Poinsettias
- Mistletoes
- Snow globes
- A stocking (with some of your favorite things in it)
- Fake snow
- Stars
- Angels
- Candy canes
- A BLACK Santa (LOL)
I mean, since you are going to be spending a lot of time at home, it can feel like a mini-winter wonderland if you are intentional about doing more decorating to your living space than you ever have before!
2. Buy a Couple of Christmas-Themed PJs
GiphyWhile I was doing some research on a totally different topic, I happened upon an article that talked about the psychology behind why we should be intentional about what we wear to bed. When you stop to think about the fact that (hopefully) you are sleeping somewhere between 6-8 hours every night, it would make sense that things like the color and fabric of your sleepwear would have a real impact on you — even subconsciously.
Well, when it comes to Christmas décor, specifically, not only does it take you back to nostalgic memories, it can also boost your moods. So, aside from being on-10 with your Christmas décor, also invest in some Christmas-themed PJs. Since you’re going to be doing a lot of lounging around (RIGHT?), do it in something that makes you think about all of your favorite things about this time of year.
3. Cop Some Christmas-Scented Candles
GiphyThere really is no telling how many articles that I’ve written where I am singing the praises of scented soy candles. Candles are soothing, comforting and a very easy way to reduce stress. Also, since it gets darker quicker and for a longer period of time around this time of the year, candles provide a relaxing vibe to your home. Since it is Christmastime, go with scents that are reminiscent of the season:
- Cinnamon
- Vanilla
- Cranberry
- Apple
- Pine
- Frankincense and Myrrh
- Peppermint
- Cashmere
- Ginger(bread)
- Orange
- Sugar Cookies
- Sandalwood
- Cloves
- Cedarwood
- (Hot) Chocolate
Personally, one of my favorite candle companies is Goose Creek. Their signature collections will have your entire house smelling like a high-end bakery. No exaggeration.
4. Play Some Winter-Themed ASMR Sounds
GiphyI’m from Nebraska and my mother was a New Yorker. So, if there is one thing that I like, it’s seasons and that includes snow during wintertime. Unfortunately, Nashville is cray-cray when it comes to that. If, where you live, the weather is all over the place too (which is why I think it’s insane that some people still give pushback to global warming) and you would like for it to at least seem like you are in your own winter wonderland — invest in some fake snow to strategically place around your home.
Oh, and don’t forget to turn on some winter-themed ASMR sounds too. YouTube has videos that run for hours on end that feature blizzards and howling winds that really can make you feel like you are in the midst of an ice storm.
5. Host a Holiday Movie Marathon
GiphyOne thing to remember about a staycation is it doesn’t mean that you have to be alone or that the only people who can participate are the ones who live with you. Since a staycation is simply about staying close to home instead of traveling afar — absolutely consider having some of your favorite people over for a holiday-themed movie marathon. Shoot, Black America Web even did you a solid by publishing “25 Best Black Christmas Movies Of All Time;” plus, Tubi has a Black holiday hits section of indie films too.
Oh, and make sure to get creative with the Christmas-themed snacks. Some ideas? Some Kentucky-fried turkey tenders with cranberry hot sauce (recipe here), some Holiday Hot Spinach Dip (recipe here), some Grinch Kabobs (recipe here), some roasted pecans (recipe here) and some Pomegranate Guacamole (recipe here).
6. Spend a Night (or Two) at a Hotel or Vacation House
GiphyJust like you don’t have to be alone during a staycation, you also don’t have to be cooped up in your house the entire time. Get a change of scenery in your own city by spending the night in a hotel that you’ve always wanted to try out or renting a vacation house for you and some of your folks to hang out in during the time between Christmas and New Year’s Day. I have a “love little sister” who does this randomly when she needs a break from her work as a therapist. She says that it’s damn near like taking a trip (and she has PLENTY of passport stamps; trust me).
7. Have Brunch or Dinner at a Christmas-Themed Restaurant
GiphyIf nothing puts a bigger smile on your face than the thought of DoorDashing meals and barely even touching your stove during your staycation — hey, I am right there with you. Do consider going out to brunch or dinner during your chill time, though. It’s another way to bond with people and create some current holiday memories. And if you’ve got a bae and you opt for dinner, it can be a wonderful type of Christmas-themed date.
8. Go to a Holiday-Themed Concert
GiphyBeing that I got my start as an entertainment writer, hear me when I say that I’m not someone who just has to go to a live concert every chance that I get. Oh, but baby, when I saw that El DeBarge was doing a City Winery tour and he was going to be here right before Christmas — I booked myself a ticket quick, fast and in a super-duper hurry! Shoot, I didn’t even want to go with someone because I plan to give him and that falsetto voice of his my complete and undivided attention. LOL.
I don’t know what it is about the holiday season that makes live music that much more enjoyable — but if there is a concert that features one of your favorite artists happening right through here, consider that to be a cool way to “tour your city” while cultivating a really awesome memory at the same time.
9. Also, Go Ice Skating
GiphyOne of my fondest memories of time with my father is going ice skating. We actually would do it in the summer (because that is when I would visit him) and, every year, he would get me a new ice skating outfit. Even now, when I watch someone ice skate (even in movies; like in the classic movie Garden State), I will have warm fuzzies.
Anyway, if you’ve never been before, go. If it’s been forever since you have, also go. There is something that is very sweet and so signature Christmas about it. Plus, it’s a top-tier form of exercise.
10. Take a Christmas Lights Tour
GiphyAnother one of my favorite Christmas memories is driving through neighborhoods and looking at the Christmas lights. And just like a Christmas concert can be a form of hometown touring, so can doing this if you decide to choose a couple of areas where you’ve never really been or rarely frequent.
Now are you excited about the thought of experiencing a holiday-themed staycation?
I thought you would be. ENJOY!
Featured image by Shutterstock






