
Why Reesa Teesa's "Who TF Did I Marry?" Saga Is A Cautionary Tale To Single Women Everywhere

Unless you’re living under a rock, by now you’ve heard of Ressa Teesa and her viral TikTok saga "Who TF Did I Marry?!?" My first learning of Ressa Teesa came over this past weekend. I was walking my dog and on my For You feed I came across a popular TikTok account giving commentary on a series called "Who TF Did I Marry!?!" I thought to myself, “What story is this and why is it coming across my feed? Is this some new series on Netflix that I missed?”
Lo and behold it was a 50-part series on TikTok that very well needs to be made into a series about a woman named Reesa Tessa and her story on how she ended up marrying "Legion" whom she calls a pathological liar, how she got away, and shares this cautionary tale and captures the attention of millions of people while doing so.
Who TF Did I Marry, a Cautionary Tale
@reesamteesa Who TF Did I Marry- Introduction #reesateesa #fyp #series
The Backstory
It’s 2020. Reesa Tessa is living in Atlanta and dating online and comes across Facebook Dating - red flag number one because the men I’ve come across on Facebook, honey, run and run fast! But she connects with a man who for the purpose of the story she calls "Legion." In their first phone call, he tells her that he’s a former arena football player who’s moved to Atlanta post-divorce to start over and he asks to take her to dinner. In route to meeting him at The Cheesecake Factory, her tire blows out. Teesa in hindsight realizes this is a sign from God but instead of canceling the date, she calls Legion and he saves the day, shows up to fix her tire, buys a new one, and still takes her on a date.
The first date if you ask me had love bombing on the menu - but again I am not here to judge my good sis. I am just a messenger who did the Lord’s work by watching all 52 parts to recap so you don’t have to. During dinner, he tells Reesa that he wants to be married, have children, and he’s ready to get out of these streets. He’s killing her softly with his words and she feels like she’s finally met the one. This is where things speed up for the worse. COVID lockdown starts and y’all know what they say about pandemic love, it was moving fast honey!
Legion moves into Reesa’s home because he only has a studio apartment despite going on and on about how much money he has. Speaking of money, he appears to be a good man, Savannah. He’s paying all the bills due to a new job where he’s a VP at a condiment company. He is also family-oriented, something they share in common, and he talks to his brother daily. He’s promising our girl Reesa Teesa that he will not only provide, but he will buy them a home, take her to London, get her a luxury vehicle and, in the words of the late great Whitney Houston, be all the man she needs.
She finally has the soft life Black women online have been talking about, she feels like she has the man she’s prayed for. But life comes at them fast and the cracks in the relationship begin to show.
When the "Man of My Dreams" Turns Into "Who TF Did I Marry?"
me when I got to Part 40 of the Who TF Did I Marry series on TikTok: pic.twitter.com/uRjAI9MOdf
— Ron (@ronthacreator) February 18, 2024
A few months in, Reesa gets pregnant and Legion appears to be ecstatic although Reesa, who has grown up with a religious upbringing, didn’t feel confident in being pregnant and living with a man that she wasn't married to. Legion tries to assure Reesa that they will be fine and that he is approved for a $699,000 home and will buy her a house. They begin touring houses too many things are not adding up. He has all this money but he’s living in a studio apartment. He wants to buy her a home but every home they tour when asked for proof of funds he puts up a fight and refuses to show it.
Reesa unfortunately miscarries but is relieved to some extent and discovers that Legion has been lying about the house-hunting process. Determined to see it through, they get married and there is peace in their world for all of two weeks and then all hell starts to break loose. They stop having sex, he starts lying (even more) and she doesn’t know what happened, but she knows something is wrong and wants to get to the bottom of it. Reesa realizes that the lies are not adding up as they’ve toured house after house.
After a conversation with a real estate agent who can sense that something is up and a job application Reesa fills out to go after a new position, she realizes her husband has given her a fake identity. She needs his social security number in order to apply for the job and after some research, she discovers he not only has never been a VP, he has no contact with his family and has not spoken to anyone in years, and he has a criminal record.
She also discovers how many lies he has told. He told her he had only been married once, but found an additional former marriage he kept from her. He told her he lived in California at a point, but never did. He told her he had siblings that never existed, he told her his grandmother died in 2020 but died in 2008, and the brother he spoke to daily did not exist, this man was diabolical. Does she get all the answers she was looking for when she learns the truth? No, but she does discover that Legion is nowhere near a VP but his twin brother in fact is a successful VP who drives a luxury car and lives the life he always dreamed of.
Not only has Legion lied about communion with his family, but she discovers that he has no job, never played football, never lived in California. In the end, Reesa is eventually able to move out of their home, have Legion arrested, get divorced, and start a new life.
The Takeaway
If you’ve watched the series you might have asked yourself multiple times, girl, what TF were you thinking? But there was a moment where Reesa said, “I just thought it was finally my turn” and I realized that Reesa, while she did not fact-check absolutely anything, yearned for love just like many single women. Over 48% of Black women in the United States are unmarried, Reesa Teesa was one of them and she thought this was her chance to leave the single life for good. Did she move too fast? Yes. Did she not she think clearly? Yes. But ask yourself for a moment can you understand that she thought she’d met a man who was the answer to her prayers not knowing he was the narcissist of her nightmares?
One of the main things that you can take from this story is that if something does not feel right, investigate IMMEDIATELY. Keep the people close to you updated when you meet someone new and if the relationship doesn't feel right, leave at the first red flag. Don’t wait for the second, third, or tenth flag - leave at the moment you realize something is off. And lastly, pour into yourself. In a world where we now have women saying healing is a waste of time and you shouldn't take time to learn to love yourself, this is why you need to do the work.
When you learn to love yourself and heal, you tolerate less. You invest in yourself more, and you become a version of yourself that you could have never dreamed of.
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Dubbed one of the "21 Black Women Wellness Influencers You Should Follow" by Black + Well, Yasmine Jameelah continues to leave her digital footprint across platforms ranging from Forever 21 Plus, Vaseline, and R29 Unbothered discussing all things healing and body positivity. As a journalist, her writing can be found on sites such as Blavity, Blacklove.com, and xoNecole. Jameelah is also known for her work shattering unconventional stigmas surrounding wellness through her various mediums, including her company Transparent Black Girl. Find Yasmine @YasmineJameelah across all platforms.
'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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I’ve gotta say that, for the most part, my friends are pretty damn chill. There is one (major) exception, though — and it’s an odd one. Even after all these years and countless times of me giving them the same answer, if there is a time when they think they are my mama, it’s when they see an email come through at an odd hour of the night. Then, all of a sudden, here they come asking me when do I get sleep if I’m emailing at (say) three in the morning.
Again, the answer never changes because, if there is one thing that Shellie Reneé Warren is gonna get, it’s 6-8 (sometimes nine) hours of sleep. However, since my chronotype (check out “Ever Wonder What Personality Traits Make Someone A 'Morning Person'?”) means that I like/prefer to write in the wee hours of the morning, sometimes I will sleep for the night for five hours and take a nap in the day. And y’all, that is just fine with me because I am well aware of the fact that napping does everything from give me more energy, heighten my alertness and even make me more creative to decrease stress levels, strengthen immunity, and reduce my chances of experiencing a heart attack or stroke.
My problem is I will oftentimes go “overboard” with my daytime zzz’s. What I mean by that is, in order to get the most out of a nap, they say thatyou shouldn’t sleep for longer than 25 minutes or so; otherwise, you could wake up feeling sluggish (I don’t but…). Also, it can make resting, soundly, at night a bit of a struggle.
So, what are you saying, Shellie? We should get quickies in? Yeah. And it’s funny that the word “quickie” would come up because just like a sex quickie can do wonders for you (and it can — check out “12 Super Solid Reasons To Have A Quickie Every Single Day”), it’s a full-circle moment when I say that something that can improve the quality of your sex life is to have a power nap (a nap that lasts between 10-30 minutes).
Wanna know how the two things correlate? Honestly, it’s no secret that sleep and sex work together to optimize both (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”). Today, though, we’re going to tap into how a nap, specifically, can have you partaking in some of the best sex that you’ve experienced in a minute. I’ll explain.
Naps Reduce Stress
If you’re feeling super stressed out right now, you are not alone. There is plenty of data out here that says that most of us are stressed for at least a couple of reasons at a time — and that can impact your sexual health on a few levels. For one thing, it can bring about feelings of depression and/or anxiety. Stress can also throw your hormone levels off (including your cycle) which can weaken your libido. Stress can make you want to put distance between you and your partner (yes, literally).
Stress can also make it challenging to get aroused or to have an orgasm. And just what can help to decrease stress? Taking a nap. Since sleep has a way of helping you to “get off of the clock” and relax a bit, that can lower your stress levels and “reset” your body so that you are calmer — and that, in turn, can do wonders for your sex drive and ultimately your sex life.
Naps Improve Your Mood
There is one person in my life, and fairly 80 percent of the time, she’s in a super good mood. Oh, but let that girl go without sleep, and…who is this woman? LOL. There’s research behind why this happens. When a person is sleep-deprived, it messes with their brain chemicals, and that can amplify emotions like anger, restlessness and sadness. In fact, one study revealed that people who had their sleep disrupted throughout the night, they ended up having their positive outlook on life reduced by about 30 percent.
And geeze, who wants to have sex when they’re not feeling very good? Anyway, since serotonin is a neurotransmitter that helps to regulate your moods, your sleep patterns, and your libido and sleep is what helps to keep it in balance — by taking a nap, not only can it help you to feel better, it can also increase your desire for sex (it can also build up your endurance which is also…sexually beneficial).
Naps Increase Your Focus and Concentration
Something that some of my clients bring up is how, when it comes to having sex, sometimes the flesh is willing while the spirit is weak because, although the desire for intimacy is there, so much is going on that they aren’t able to get still enough to focus on experiencing copulation with their partner. This also tracks because, when you don’t have enough rest, your brain finds itself not working in harmony and that can make it hard to do everything from approaching life with a sense of flexibility to making necessary decisions.
Certain data also reveal that a lack of rest can cause you to have a really poor attention span and not process things in context (the more you know). So, if you really want to get some yet it’s hard for you to focus long enough to make it happen, ask your bae to lie down with you and take a nap. Between the sleep and the snuggling (check out “Fall's Coming: 8 Wonderful Health Benefits Of Cuddling”) — you may wake up with your mind and body totally on the same page. #wink
Naps Can Make You Feel Better About Your Body
Even if, overall, you feel really good about your body, I think that we all have moments when we feel less attractive than others — and who wants to have sex when they don’t really feel…very sexy? Well, something else that sleep, in general, can do is increase your confidence in your body.
For one thing, if you want to lose a few pounds, sleep can actually make that happen by helping your body metabolize the glucose (sugar) that’s in it so that you can better manage your appetite. Other studies go on to share that since sleep deprivation can impact one’s mental health and emotional stability in a negative way, of course, getting enough rest would increase body positivity.
Shoot, science even goes so far as to say that insomnia can cause people to have an elevated level of dissatisfaction when it comes to their body image. Don’t take their word for it, though. Look in the mirror before a nap. Then look in a mirror after waking up from me. Do you feel better? I’d be surprised if you don’t.
Makes Your Brain Bigger…Which Could Make Your Orgasms Better
I saved the best for last by design. Now if you’re wondering how in the world a nap can improve (and possibly increase) your orgasms — oh, there is a method to the madness…trust. For starters, the saying that your biggest sex organ is your brain? That isn’t a myth. Long story less long, the brain is what houses your central nervous system and that is what controls how men and women sexually function (yes, literally).
And since the brain also releases feel-good chemicals like dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin during sex and brain activity significantly increases in women during sexual activity (especially right before she orgasms) — well, would it trip you out to know that when you take a nap, your brain actually expands? A bigger brain (that’s healthy) can potentially intensify your sexual experiences (and your climaxes) — and who doesn’t want that to go down?
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Like I said earlier, I never have to be convinced to get a nap in. However, if your sex life has been a bit stagnant lately, you’ve been feeling a little sluggish and you’re not sure what to do — I’m hoping that a nap can get you right.
There’s enough science to prove that it can. All you need to do is give it a shot.
Now where’s your pillow and sleep mask, chile?
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