Normani's "Wild Side" Helped Her Heal After Mother’s Cancer Return
Normani is one of those artists that is special. She's way before her time, one of the best performers out there, highly underrated, and making her mark on an entire generation. One cannot help but to stan everything about her, her triumph as a young melanated woman, figuring out her way in a dog-eat-dog industry.
She got her start on America's version of the X-Factor in 2012, but found her way into the group, Fifth Harmony. Since she has collaborated with numerous artists, ultimately finding her own lane as a a solo artist. She released her hit single "Motivation" in 2019, and all of us were totally expecting her to take over pop music.
But suddenly, we didn't hear much else from her solo career afterwards. And as it turns out, it was for a very heartbreaking reason: cancer.
Additionally, according to the multi-hyphenate, cancer was also the exact reason we have her highly popular and current song, "Wild Side" on the playlist now. Normani's mother, who is battling breast cancer, motivated the singer to release "Wild Side" into the world. She went into detail in a recent interview with Los Angeles' Power 106, in which she admitted that her new music "really saved" her while her mom was going through chemotherapy and radiation.
She told host, Bryhana:
"This past year, my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. For me, this work that I was able to put out into the world, like, this really saved me, to be completely honest. Even just being on FaceTime with her as she's going through her chemo and her radiation, and just wanting me to update her on how this video is going, and how the music is coming, it really got her through that. It got my family through the darkest time of our lives."
But her mother pushed her forward in every way.
"This was the second time that she had to go through cancer. The first time I was four. So for it to happen all over again, in such a pivotal and heightened moment for my career... there's so many moments I was like, 'I need to be at home' and I felt guilty for not being able to be physically there with her. I literally remember being in the doctor's office with her, right after she had her surgery. This was in October. She's like, 'Baby, I'm gonna be fine.
"What I need you to do is focus. I need you to be Normani. I need you to be the best version of yourself. I need you to continue to work hard. We gotta get this music out. We have the world to impact.' She was just like, 'I'm gonna be fine.' Anything that my mom says, to be completely honest, I believe."
Whew.
Since, her mother has completed her final round of chemo, which both Normani and her mother celebrated on Twitter.
MY MOM JUST HAD HER FINAL ROUND OF RADIATION ✨🙏🏾🥺🙌🏾 GLORY!!!!!
— Normani (@Normani) August 2, 2021
"Her strength throughout her experience has been the strength that I've needed to even be able to allow this [song] to even be a thought."
Yessss, sis.
Our girl also took a moment to praise Cardi B, who is featured on the song, and who is massively pregnant, yet still taking the time to truly promote the single on her 120M follower social media accounts.
"I just wish that the world could experience her the way I have. I feel lucky to have been able to experience such a genuine person, and a kindhearted person. For me, that goes a long way because like I said, she didn't have to go out [of] the way, you know. The fact that she even made the video -- she's pregnant! I know for her, I know that probably took a level of trust in me."
In the end, if you're anything like us and wondering where the music is, don't worry, she has us covered. In fact, she has on request while we wait: "Trust me."
"Part of it was me overthinking, yes, but also I've been making the best music that I feel like I've personally ever created. In order to get to that place, I needed time."
We. Cannot. Wait.
Watch the full "Wild Side" video, featuring Cardi B, below:
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Featured image by Jerritt Clark/Getty Images for Savage X Fenty Show Vol. 2 Presented by Amazon Prime Video
Charmin Michelle is a southern native and creative spirit who works as a content marketer and events manager in Chicago. She enjoys traveling, #SummertimeChi, and the journey of mastering womanhood. Connect with her on Instagram @charminmichelle.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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How To Tell If You're Disciplining Your Child Or Seeking Revenge
When discussing the topic of raising children, discipline is often the first thing that comes to mind. Children need discipline. Full stop. But what is discipline? And how do we draw the line between discipline and revenge?
The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:
Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
Momo Productions/Getty
Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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Featured image by Courtney Hale/Getty Images