What Self-Care Looks Like To Black Girl Beautiful Founder Nikia Phoenix
In xoNecole's Finding Balance, we profile boss women making boss moves in the world and in their respective industries. We talk to them about their business, their life, and most of all, what they do to find balance in their busy lives.
If nothing else, Nikia Phoenix is proof that there is undeniable power and wherewithal in a name. Symbolically, a phoenix is flamed bird that represents renewal and rising above challenges to succeed and be powerful. As a multifaceted woman, the Atlanta-based creative has made waves in a bevy of industries: as a model, a writer, a managing editor, an influencer and anything else that she sets her mind to accomplish. "No one can put me in a box. I am stepping into my stride and becoming the person I always knew I could be. A title or occupation does not define or limit me," she told xoNecole. "What I am doing now in this moment is part of the evolution."
And the evolution encompasses what she's doing now, which is being a light in the efforts to propel black female empowerment with initiatives like her movement Black Girl Beautiful. Black Girl Beautiful began as a beauty and shopping event for women of color by women of color after Nikia realized the needs of black women weren't being met. "We were and still are spending all this money on beauty products yet not enough brands were catering to us," she explained. "I figured it was time to educate us, empower us, and mobilize."
With the much-needed mantra of "Hey black girl, you're beautiful," the initiative has since bloomed into a safe collaborative space for black women and all women of color. "I want BGB to ignite the flame in other women so we can set this world on fire. I truly believe in the power of black womanhood," Nikia concluded.
In this installment of Finding Balance, we talk to Nikia about affirmations, a typical day in the life, and ultimately how she finds balance.
Why do you think it’s important that we hear, “Hey black girl, you’re beautiful”? What are some of your favorite affirmations?
Nikia Phoenix
Photography By: Vanessa Hamb
It's critical that we hear and see this simple affirmation "Hey black girl, you're beautiful" or "Hey brown girl, you're beautiful" because all of us still have yet to completely believe it. We've gotten so used to the world tearing us down and the lies that we can be so self-deprecating. In order to combat this negativity, we have to tell ourselves that we are loved, we live in abundance, and that we are worth it.
And what makes you feel beautiful?
My heart makes me feel beautiful. It leads everything that I do. It allows me to come from a place of love and deep intention. My heart allows me to see the beauty in everything.
You recently unveiled a Brown Girl Beautiful mural in Atlanta, how did that idea come to you to create this mural?
Atlanta is a city full of black people. We are the majority, however there have been very few murals specifically dedicated to uplifting women of color. I'm an agent of change and knew I needed to fix this. I knew what the message would be. I knew the artist, Faatimah Stevens, who could help me create it. What I didn't know is how it would actually come to fruition... In steps Pledge World, who said they wanted to help me fulfill this dream.
I think of the mural as my love letter to brown women. In bold print alongside a beautiful sketch of my friend Mary Akpa donning a crown, the mural says "Hey Brown Girl You're Beautiful." Talk about powerful! The colors, the imagery, the words literally stop people in their tracks. Brown girls are able to see themselves reflected in this piece of art. The message affirms what I know to be true of us and I hope every black and brown girl feels this love.
What does the average day or week look like for you?
Every day is a bit different. Every week is a bit different. I am always working on a project from conception to completion. With everything I do, I'm very hands-on. But inspiration has to come from somewhere, so I make time to live. Maybe one week, I'm traveling. Maybe I'm ideating for the next adventure. I breathe creativity.
What are your mornings like? How do you wind down at night?
Photography By: Vanessa Hamb
Mornings are my favorite time of day. I ease into it. I wake up with prayer and meditation then make my way into my daily affirmations. I love, love creating peace to start my day. At night, I wind down by lighting candles or incense and meditating. With all is hectic in this world, I have to bookend my day with love.
What do you find to be the most hectic part of your week?
The most hectic part of my week depends on what I'm working on. I do my best not to have a Case of the Mondays. Starting my week in a frenzy is not the business. Other than that, if there is a hectic time of the week, it's most likely Thursday afternoon, because I know I'm trying to complete all my tasks before the weekend.
Do you practice any types of self-care?
Photography By: Vanessa Hamb
Self-care for me is daily. It's saying affirmations. It's unplugging from technology. It's spending quality time with people I love without talking business. At night, I love turning down the lights, lighting a candle, and dancing in my bedroom. This allows my soul to be free. Simply put, self-care is literally me loving on me.
What are some products and rituals you swear by in the name of self-care?
Washing my hair on the weekends is also self-care for me. While my hair is deep conditioning with SheaMoisture Jamaican Black Castor Oil hair masque, I'll put on one of those Korean sheet masks from The Face Shop and chill out. I'm also obsessed with rosewater face mist and my jade roller. Talk about an instant face massage to lift my spirits.
How do you find balance with:
Photography By: Vanessa Hamb
Love/Marriage?
When I love, I love hard. I give it my all or nothing. I guess that is my balance. I do know that love fuels me. It's essential to my being.
Friends?
It's about making the conscious effort to be present. Any relationship, whether that's romantic or platonic, needs to come from a place of respect and not obligation. I feed into what feeds into and nourishes me.
Exercise/Health? Do you ever detox?
A year or so ago, I began practicing kundalini yoga, and it's become my saving grace. It helps me release the frustration and work through difficulties by pushing my body and realigning my spirit.
When you are going through a bout of uncertainty, or feeling stuck, how do you handle it?
I have to give myself the space to work through the feelings fully. That may mean hanging upside and screaming my head off or whatever I need to do to relieve the tension in a healthy way. I'll talk out the problem. I'll meditate. Then I come up with a solution. The trick is not to dwell in the hole. Dig your way out.
What does success mean to you?
Photography By: Vanessa Hamb
My intention is to evoke feeling... to evoke love. At this point, I get so much joy from watching a complete stranger being moved by my work. If what I create encourages and lifts someone else up, that's my goal. Success means feeling like I am living on purpose and being fulfilled.
Ultimately, how do you find balance?
I laugh. I cry. I do both at the same time. And most importantly, I LOVE. Love brings balance.
For more of Nikia Phoenix, follow her on Instagram. And check out previous installments of xoNecole's Finding Balance here.
Featured image by Vanessa Hamb, courtesy of Nikia Phoenix
Originally published March 31, 2019
This article is sponsored by Hulu.
UnPrisonedhas returned for its highly anticipated second season, delving deeper into the complex dynamics of the Alexander family.
The series premiere comes a year after its debut season garnered rave reviews from fans and critics and earned record-breaking ratings for Hulu's Onyx Collective brand. UnPrisoned's success can be attributed to its raw, relatable themes and comedic appeal.
Inspired by creator Tracy McMillan's life, the show follows Paige (Kerry Washington), a therapist and single mother whose life takes an unexpected turn when her father, Edwin (Delroy Lindo) --who was released from prison-- moves in with her and her teenage son, Finn (Faly Rakotohavana).
Throughout UnPrisoned's first season, viewers witnessed how Edwin's incarceration deeply affected Paige's life and relationships. In the series, Paige unpacks her trauma through interactions with her inner child and her online followers. Meanwhile, Edwin is overcoming specific struggles with his own past that led to his life of crime, including a dysfunctional upbringing and his mother's arrest. As the Alexanders attempt to reconcile, new challenges arise.
This new season promises to further explore their unconventional family dynamic. Here are several compelling reasons why season two of UnPrisoned should be on everyone's watchlist.
The Alexander Family Life Is Still In Shambles
UnPrisoned's second season resumes where the series left off, with Paige grappling with the fallout from her troubled therapy practice and Edwin navigating life independently after moving out. Meanwhile, Finn faces his own challenges. The teenager is battling anxiety and seeking information about his father—a topic Paige avoids discussing.
The Alexander Family Are Attending Therapy To Resolve Their Underlying Issues
Amid the chaos in their lives, the Alexander family decides to mend their bond by confronting their past traumas. They seek professional help and attend therapy sessions with a “family radical healing coach,” played by John Stamos, a new cast member. This collective effort aims to unravel the complexities of their shared history and strengthen their relationships.
The process of unraveling each character's internal conflicts and their potential impact on future relationships may clash with Paige's textbook therapy approach. While Paige is used to being in the therapist's seat in both career and family, this forces her into the unfamiliar role of a patient during therapy sessions. This shift would compel her to look in the mirror and try a radically different approach.
The Alexander Family Learned A Big Lesson During A Therapy Session
In therapy, the Alexanders are tasked with addressing their individual traumas to salvage their remaining relationships. One of the family therapist’s eccentric suggestions was an exercise involving a family wrestling match. During this session, Paige faces tough questions about her refusal to share information about Finn's father.
While it's unclear whether this scene is reality or fantasy, the image of the family duking it out in the ring certainly makes for hilarious yet compelling television.
Paige Tries Dating Again Following Failed Relationships
Amid her life's chaos, Paige decides to step back into the dating field. However, her many attempts have left her with mixed results. The dating apps have turned out to be a fail, and an outing with her ex Mal (Marque Richardson), who is also her father's parole officer, doesn’t go quite as expected after he brings an unexpected guest – his new girlfriend.
The situation takes an awkward turn when Mal's new partner learns why the former couple split, partly due to Paige's self-sabotage.
UnPrisoned Is A Perfect Balance Of Comedy And Drama
As a dramedy, UnPrisoned takes a comedic approach to its heavy subjects. The show takes us on a ride with Paige's dating misadventures and navigating a friendship with her ex.
Other lighthearted moments include Edwin's attempts at CPR based on online videos and, of course, the antics of the Alexander family's unconventional new healing coach.
The second season of UnPrisoned is now available on Hulu.
UnPrisoned | Season 2 Trailer | Hulu
Feature image courtesy
There's nothing like a sweet, cool drink in the summer, and it's really tempting to indulge when you're focusing on your health. However, most of our favorite summer drinks contain a lot of sugar and can derail your journey to good health.
“Reducing sugar can be a breeze with a few smart swaps. Instead of sugary snacks, reach for fresh, whole fruits that are naturally sweet and brimming with vitamins. Swap sugary sodas and juices for water infused with slices of citrus or a handful of berries," say experts at Live Football Tickets.
"Pay attention to hidden sugars in packaged food by checking labels and opt for low-sugar alternatives. Preparing your own beverages like iced herbal teas sweetened with a touch of honey or fruit-infused sparkling water gives you full control over the ingredients and helps you avoid sugar overload while staying refreshed this summer.”
If you're curious to know which drinks you should avoid, check out this list of the seven worst summer drinks compiled by fitness experts at Live Football Tickets and Offbeat Marketing.
Energy Drinks
There's a reason why the UK proposed a ban on energy drinks for those who are under the age of 16. They are loaded with caffeine and taurine, which can raise your heart rate and blood pressure. Because it's a sweet drink, the taste can trick you into overconsumption, leaving you dehydrated, especially when paired with alcohol. Some of the other risks include abnormal heart rhythms, seizures, and mood swings.
Bubble Tea
SolStock/ Getty Images
This trendy drink, unfortunately, has some downsides when consumed excessively and is best avoided on your health journey. It's high in calories due to the combination of sweetened tea, milk, and tapioca pearls,and it contains 7 to 12 teaspoons of sugar. The tapioca pearls can also cause gastrointestinal issues like bloating, gas, and constipation, as well as artificial flavors, colors, and preservatives.
Sweet Cocktails
Sweet cocktails like margaritas and frozen daiquiris are very deceptive, as they can be refreshing on a hot day. However, a classic margarita can account for over 70% of your daily sugar intake. A good trick that the study suggests (and also something my dietician recommends) is drinking a glass of water for each cocktail. This helps keep you hydrated.
"Your body is mainly made up of water, so staying hydrated is essential, especially with the extra sweating that happens in the summer," says Donna Callander, personal trainer and director of Offbeat Marketing. "While everything is fine in moderation or as an occasional treat, it’s important to be mindful of the hidden calories, sugars, and salts in what you consume.”
Lemonade
F.J. Jimenez/ Getty Images
It's probably no surprise that lemonade was voted as most people's favorite summertime drink. But as popular as it is, we may forget about the sugar and acidity that it has and this blend can have negative affects on our health and teeth. It can spike blood sugar levels and erode tooth enamel, which leads to cavities.
"Your body is mainly made up of water, so staying hydrated is essential, especially with the extra sweating that happens in the summer. While everything is fine in moderation or as an occasional treat, it’s important to be mindful of the hidden calories, sugars, and salts in what you consume.”
Smoothies
I know what you're thinking: aren't smoothies healthy? They can be, but they are also often packed with sugar. The fruits and vegetables that are used in smoothies are good for you, but it's all about moderation. When fruit is blended, it breaks down its cell walls and releases natural sugars as free sugars that are quickly absorbed into the bloodstream, leading to rapid spikes in blood sugar levels.
Frozen Coffee
Phaisit/ Getty Images
I'm a sucker for a Frappuccino, but with all the whipped cream and syrups inside, it's essentially a sugar bomb. Drinking frozen coffee and Frappuccinos can lead to weight gain and possible health problems like type 2 diabetes. While the National Health Service (NHS) says adults should consume a maximum of 30g of sugar daily, some of our favorite coffee shops' drinks, like a Starbucks Caramel Frappuccino with semi-skimmed milk, have a staggering 48.5g of sugar.
Soda
The high sugar and caffeine in sodas can lead to dehydration, which is the last thing you want on a hot summer day. A typical can have around 39g of sugar, which is about nine teaspoons, and this excess sugar forces your kidneys to work harder to process it, leading to increased urination and subsequent fluid loss. If you're craving a fizzy drink, try unsweetened sparkling water instead. Unsweetened sparkling water and fruit-infused water help improve digestion and constipation.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image by Westend61/ Getty Images