

Nicole Beharie Reflects On Her Role In 'Breaking' & Working With The Late Michael K. Williams
Breaking actress Nicole Beharie was only recently informed that a clip of her in the Black Mirror "Striking Vipers" episode keeps resurfacing on social media three years after the episode first aired on Netflix. When asked about it during the press cycle for her latest film, she seems stumped about what draws fans to this particular performance.
“I don’t fully know. I’m just really humbled. I just do the work. I don't even read reviews and get too tied up in what happens after,” she tells xoNecole. “I got into this work because I wanted to connect with people and understand things about humanity. If people are connecting with something so small that means the world to me.”
Perhaps what people are reacting to in the "Striking Vipers" scene is the subtle but powerful decisions Beharie makes in portraying a wife whose husband seems to have inexplicably emotionally checked out of their family life. She embodies both the measured frustrations and empathy of someone seeking honesty from their partner. It’s a master class in acting, but it’s also fairly common of Beharie’s acting performances.
She brings this same nuance to her role as Estel Valerie, a bank manager who is held hostage by a veteran who is seeking money owed to him by Veterans Affairs. John Boyega stars in the film as the veteran, Brian Brown-Easley, while Rosa Diaz plays another terrified bank employee and the late Michael K. Williams portrays a negotiator. Breaking is based on an article about the real-life story of Easley, who took two hostages in a Wells Fargo in metro Atlanta in 2017 claiming the V.A. owed him $892.
Beharie says she didn’t know much about the story when she originally read the script, but she eventually did a number of things to prepare for the role, including traveling to Marietta, Georgia where the bank was located. (The branch was permanently closed following the incident.) “I had to sort of figure out what the protocol is for being a bank manager,” she says. “What’s the day-to-day and then what are you taught to do when there’s a robbery?”
The actress says she reviewed “police statements, written statements, CCTV footage, footage of outside of the bank and lots of photographs” to learn about the woman her character is based on, but she ultimately decided not to reach out to the woman herself out of respect for the trauma she endured. “I felt like it was kind of close to home and we could take care of it without having to bring it back up for people,” she says.
Throughout the film, Beharie brings nuance to a character who has been placed in an unimaginable situation. As Estelle Valerie, she is both compassionate for Easley, resolute in trying to protect herself and the others inside the bank, and outspoken about her frustrations with the police department for the way they are handling the hostage negotiations.
Embodying a character who is navigating a traumatic situation is not easy. “Maintaining that level of fear, having that fight or flight response in your body for 12-14 hours a day for a few weeks can be a lot,” she says.
Still, she’s quick to praise her fellow cast members for their work on camera and behind the scenes. “[Boyega] just absolutely came in kicking the door, waving the 44. Total commitment, full energy, focus, and clarity,” she says of the lead actor.
She’s more solemn when reflecting on WIlliams’ role. It’s one of the final projects the celebrated actor worked on before he died last year. “This has been a weird last few days, having this movie come out and seeing his face, and him not being a part of the press junket,” she says.
Most of Beharie’s scenes take place inside the bank with Boyega and Diaz, but she has one off-camera phone call with Williams. The late actor was scheduled to be off work the day Beharie filmed the scenes, but he showed up to read lines with her. “I don’t know if people who are not in the business know this or not but that’s sort of an unheard of thing. That’s a very, very, exceedingly generous thing to do,” she says. “That’s the kind of thing I want to take with me. That’s the kind of person I want to be when I’m on set.”
Ultimately, Beharie says these moments with the rest of the cast, and the overall message of the story is what made the challenging role worthwhile. “Brian went through all that he went through so that he could be heard, and so that what was really owed to him would be his. That’s what I took from the story.”
Breaking is now in theaters.
Featured image by Matt Winkelmeyer/Getty Images
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From Monogamy To Polyamory: 'I'm In An Asexual Poly Marriage With My Husband Of 7 Years'
Have you ever wondered what it's like to be asexual and in an open marriage? Relationship Coach Mikki Bey shared her first-hand experience with us as well as answered some of our burning questions.
Like a lot of people, Mikki met her now husband, Raheem Ali, online. As soon as they met, they instantly fell in love and got engaged on their first date. Just 90 days after they met, the couple tied the knot and have now been married for seven years. Raheem and Mikki aren’t your typical married couple, and despite being married for almost a decade, their marriage is anything but traditional. Mikki and Raheem have what she calls an "asexual polyamorous marriage."
Defining Her Sexuality
It wasn't until last summer that Mikki found the language to define her sexuality. "I didn't have the language for it until last summer," she explained to xoNecole. "Looking back, I just thought sex wasn't my thing. It was never enjoyable for me, and I'd go years without even noticing.”
Mikki always thought she was broken because she had no interest in sex. Mikki noticed after her friends came to visit and started discussing their sexual fantasies that she realized something was different about her. “At that point, I knew something was definitely different about me since I do not have sexual fantasies at all. It was truly news to me that people are at work thinking about sex! That was not my experience.” This led to Mikki researching asexuality, which she soon realized fit her to a T. “It felt like breathing new air when I was able to call it by name," said Mikki.
"Looking back, I just thought sex wasn't my thing. It was never enjoyable for me, and I'd go years without even noticing it."
Asexuality refers to people who experience little or no sexual attraction, experience attraction without acting on it sexually, or experience sexual attraction differently based on other factors. Like most things, asexuality falls on a spectrum and encompasses many other identities. It's important to remember, however, that attraction and action are not always synonymous: some asexuals may reject the idea of sexual contact, but others may be sex-neutral and engage in sexual activity.
It's possible that some asexuals will have sex with someone else despite not having a libido or masturbating, but others will have sex with a partner because it brings a sense of connection.
From a Traditional Marriage to Kitchen Table Polyamory
Although Mikki never really had a high sex drive, it wasn’t until after the birth of her son, that she noticed her sex drive took a real nosedive. “I never had a high sex drive, but about a year after my son was born, I realized I had zero desire. My husband has a high sex drive, and I knew that it would not be sustainable to not have sex in our marriage at that time.”
She was determined to find an alternative to divorce and stumbled upon a polyamory conversation on Clubhouse. Upon doing her own research, she brought up the idea to their husband, who was receptive. “It’s so interesting to me that people weigh sex so heavily in relationships when even if you are having a ton of sex, it’s still a very small percentage of the relationship activity," Mikki shared.
They chose polyamory because Mikki still wanted to be married, but she also wanted to make sure that Raheem was getting his individual needs and desires met, even if that meant meeting them with someone else. “I think that we have been programmed to think that our spouses need to be our 'everything.' We do not operate like that. There is no one way that fits all when it comes to relationships, despite what society may try to tell you. Their path to doing this thing called life together may be different from yours, but they found what works for them. We have chosen to design a marriage that works for us,” Mikki explained.
"We have chosen to design a marriage that works for us. We both consent to each of us having everything from casual sex partners to lifetime partners if it should go there. We believe love is abundant and do not limit ourselves or each other on how we express it."
She continued, “We both consent to each of us having everything from casual sexual partners to lifetime partners if it should get there. We believe love is abundant and do not limit ourselves or each other on how we express it. Our dynamic is parallel with kitchen table poly aspirations.”
Kitchen table polyamory (KTP) is a polyamorous relationship in which all participants are on friendly terms enough to share a meal at the kitchen table. Basically, it means you have some form of relationship with your partner’s other partner, whether as a group or individually. A lot of times, KTP relationships are highly personal and rooted in mutual respect, communication, and friendship.
Intimacy in an Asexual Polyamorous Marriage
Mikki says she and her husband, Raheem, still share intimate moments despite being in a polyamorous marriage. “Our intimacy is emotional, intellectual, spiritual, and physical, although non-sexual. We are intentional about date nights weekly, surprising and delighting each other daily, and most of all, we communicate our needs regularly. In my opinion, our intimacy is top-tier! I give my husband full-body massages, mani-pedis and make sure I am giving him small physical touches/kisses throughout the day. He is also very intentional about showing me his love and affection.”
Raheem and Mikki now use their lives as examples for others. On their website, thepolycouplenextdoor.com, they coach people interested in learning how to be consensually non-monogamous. “We are both relationship coaches. I specialized in emotional regulation, and Raheem specializes in communication and conflict resolution. The same tools we use in our marriage help our clients succeed in polyamory."
Mikki advises people who may be asexual or seeking non-monogamy to communicate their needs openly and to consider seeking sex therapy or intimacy coaching. Building a strong relationship with a non-sexual partner requires both empathy and compassion.
For more of Mikki, follow her on Instagram @getmikkibey. Follow the couple's platform on Instagram @thepolycouplenextdoor.
Featured image by skynesher/Getty Images