Sex. Polar bears. Virtual reality. Damn it, Charlie Brooker. You've managed to mindf*ck us all once again with the first episode of the latest installment of Black Mirror.
As I sat silent for about five minutes wondering wtf I just watched, I realized that that shows like The Handmaid's Tale (which also dropped today by the way), and Black Mirror are starting to look less like creepy TV thrillers and more like reality. The show is developed in a way that and, much like Jordan Peele's films, is meant for you to figure it out through the progression of the plot while mirroring everyday life in the most mind-boggling way possible.
In this episode, we meet Danny (Anthony Mackie) and Karl (Yahya Abdul-Mateen II), two bachelors who spend much of their time playing video games and joking around. Their bachelor lifestyle is suddenly interrupted when Danny falls in love with his soon-to-be wife Theo (Nicole Beharie) and becomes a kept man. Years later, when Theo and Danny are married and trying for a second child, self-proclaimed coochie king and Danny's former BFF, Karl re-enters their lives and gifts his old friend with a newly updated, virtual version of their old favorite video game.
When they meet for a late-night brawl in the video game, their rendezvous gets steamy and uncovered a whole world of what the f*ckery in the minds of everyone watching. While the episode is surprising, to say the least, it brought to light a number of untold truths that are typically taboo in the black community about gender identity, sexual fluidity, and relationships in general.
If you haven't had a chance to check out the recently released episodes yet, tune in tonight and make sure to be ready to have your mind blown. Here's some of the Easter eggs you may have missed:
It’s Not You Sis, It’s Him
Netflix
While Danny is having late-night sex on the virtual beach with his blonde-haired Asian companion, his wife Theo is busy pointing out every one of her insecurities and putting them on display. I can appreciate this episode of Black Mirror because it showed how we as women can often blame ourselves for things that virtually has nothing to do with us (pun intended).
Gender Identity
Netflix
One of the most interesting points in the episode, to me, was when Karl explained how he felt in a woman's body. I realized that his feelings were probably reflective of the experience of many LGBTQ+ Americans. Gender and sex are not synonymous, and it's important for people of color to hop on the equal opportunity bandwagon before more of our brothers and sisters are ostracized by the community and killed as a result of our lack of research and understanding.
Toxic Masculinity
Netflix
Men, specifically black men, are burdened by an expectation that we as women will never experience. The Black community tells young boys that real men don't cry, and most importantly, real men don't kiss other men. Near the end of the episode, when Karl and Danny meet to kiss in real life for the first time, they become so emotional that they are brought to blows. I think Black Mirror did a pretty impressive job of portraying that this rebellion against being "soft" or feeling like a "punk" can lead to a community of men with a whole lot of repressed sexual feelings and even more anger.
Sexual Fluidity
Netflix
I saw a tweet that said this entire episode was basically two guys saying "no homo" the whole episode and that statement is spot-on. Throughout the episode, the two continue to insist that they are not gay for enjoying sex with one another, and I can't help but be reminded of the monolithic "down low brother," or a man who has sex with other men in secret. Karl and Danny actively hide their relationship out of fear of being seen as homosexual, but anyone with knowledge of sexual orientation knows that there's a spectrum.
Just because a man likes to have sex with men, it doesn't make him gay; and just because a man likes to have sex with women, it doesn't make him straight. Sexual fluidity was a strong theme in this episode that people of color should explore more often.
Polyamory and Open Marriages
Netflix
At the end of the episode, we learn that Theo still decides to stick by her man after learning that he was having an affair with a male friend and even allows him to continue the relationship on a case-by-case basis. We also learn that as a part of this compromise, Theo is allowed to have an evening of uninhibited fun, too. The last scene, we see her preparing for a night on (and on top of) the town with a handsome stranger, implying that Theo and her husband have agreed to a somewhat open marriage.
Traditionally, black folks have come to a consensus that monogamy is the morally acceptable way to live, but the concept of an open marriage could ultimately be interesting to any couple that becomes bored enough with their day-to-day routine.
Black Mirror is now streaming on Netflix.
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Some women have their whole wedding planned out, from the bridal gown and venue to the bridal party and playlist. However, KJ was not one of those people. “I didn’t foresee a wedding in my future,” she reveals. “I was just gonna be the boss chick, rich auntie. I didn’t force love in my life until recently. I never had an idea of what a dream wedding would look like, it was easier for me to elope.”
KJ Smith
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
And to many people’s surprise, that was their original plan – until Skyh brought up a valid concern. He was raised by his grandmother and thought she should be at the wedding, and naturally, that led to KJ wanting her grandmother to be there as well – then her mom – and later her sister – and, you’ve gotta invite the besties too, right? From there, the guest list continued to blossom. Much like the updo and pop of color bold red lip, she wore on her special day, which was initially on her Pinterest board as a soft glam look with her hair hanging on her shoulders, KJ is okay with changing her plan if it brings her and her loved ones happiness.
So let’s get into the wedding, which took place in Malibu, CA. The first thing you should know about the celebrity couple is that they’re non-traditional. They know, and they don’t care. So, in true unconventional fashion, they shared the morning of the wedding together.
“I woke up with Skyh, we walked our dog, had black coffee, and said good morning to the people who stayed at the venue with us,” she says.
Now, it was time for hair and makeup. While she was getting glammed up, she had Black-owned McBride Sisters wine and champagne (which ties into The Black Experience theme) on deck with her mom and friends, had her besties help rework her vows, retried on every outfit (sis is very Type-A), took photos, and ended the early-celebration with prayer and meditation. It seems very non-Bridezilla, I said.
“Yeah, I was the most unbothered bride ever. Everyone was just so supportive. As entertainers, we go on red carpets all the time. We actually have a production company,” she explains. “The get-ready process was like a day at work, but with people we love the most. Being entertainers, we didn’t feel stressed at all, but my excitement was so high.”
Things moved quickly, and before she knew it, it was time to line up to walk down the aisle.
“Yeah, I was the most unbothered bride ever. Everyone was just so supportive. As entertainers, we go on red carpets all the time. We actually have a production company. The get-ready process was like a day at work, but with people we love the most. Being entertainers, we didn’t feel stressed at all, but my excitement was so high.”
KJ Smith and her bridal party
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
Since everything started with their grandmothers, the couple wanted to ensure they honored them and planned to keep an element of their wedding traditional. Although we’ve all seen the reception videos and photos online, you may have noticed visuals from the wedding itself are harder to find.
“We planned for it to be traditional, but we’re not like that, so we tried to create those moments. We jumped the broom and had a salt ceremony (where the bride and groom individually pour salt into a glass container, symbolizing their lives becoming one.) But honestly, still, nothing was traditional about it.”
She goes on to explain that her mom caught the holy ghost coming down the aisle, her glam team was on deck, and she became so nervous with excitement that she had an anxiety attack – something she struggled with for years, she explains tearfully. Her friends had to literally cheer her down the aisle because of how overwhelmed she felt until she eventually calmed down.
“Skyh was standing there with his hand on his heart; we have our own little language, and I could feel the support,” she shares.
It was surprising to hear all these emotional moments happened before the party we saw online. That is until she once again got into the backstory.
“As a Black woman actress, for so long, it was popular to be mysterious and secretive, but that’s not who I am or what I like. Plus, we both wanted to create an experience for everyone there. We are the people who always host family and friends,” she says. “Like for me, the first order of business was getting sandals for the women so they can dance all night long. We had oxtail, D'ussé, and a coffee and sativa lounge – which is part of Skyh and I’s lifestyle and routine. We wanted to bring them into our world.”
Skyh Black (L) and KJ Smith (R)
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
She went on to discuss the dance routine she did for her husband at the reception, which has taken over the internet. Apparently, that’s another thing that didn’t go according to plan. According to KJ, she had promised a performance at their joint bachelor/ bachelorette party, but her outfit got stolen from her car. So, Skyh ended up performing for her – complete with a strip tease. Still, she never forgot her promise to dance for him.
So, she hired her friend as a choreographer, learned the routine, made friends and family watch it endless times, and attended Beyoncé’s Renaissance show a few days before for a confidence boost. It ended up being a show to remember. But that wasn’t all the night offered. Lil Mo performed, and the guests received special goody bags featuring their favorite Black-owned products like journals, hair care, and more.
“We made sure everyone was taken care of all night. That kind of stuff makes us happy. I wanted everyone there to experience the joy and love I have for myself, my partner, and for them. I wanted them to feel full and whole, and they had the time of their lives,” she says.
But naturally, the internet is going to internet, and while there were countless people praising the event and applauding the newlyweds, some thought it was too over the top. I was curious to know her thoughts on some of the criticism.
“It’s cool. We did what we wanted to do. I’ve decided to share my world with people. Just how I went on social media platforms and found inspiration, I want people to do the same,” she explains. “I don’t think it's fair to my supporters not to give that out. There’s so much I wanna share with brides, specifically Black brides. I love that people are adding it to their Pinterest boards."
"I wanted everyone there to experience the joy and love I have for myself, my partner, and for them. I wanted them to feel full and whole, and they had the time of their lives."
KJ Smith
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
“I’m happy with it because we did what we wanted to do. They can do what they wanna do. Don’t be cruel, though, because you will get blocked,” she said, laughing.
The more I spoke with her, the more her sense of freedom shined through. People are always going to have their opinions, but at the end of the day, it’s you who has to live your life, and it seems like the couple realizes that and embraces that power. She also stressed the importance of not living for others and the lessons life has taught her.
“I’ve been to countless weddings, and I’ve been in countless weddings. I’m a generally older bride. So when women in my demographic get married, and you and your husband are busy working people like us, you deserve to have the one you want to have,” she shares.
“This is what we wanted to do. Our loved ones love and support us. We did so much to honor them, but we also wanted to start our own tradition, legacy, and creation. I'm not going to be pulled back into ideas of the past when I’m trying to create a future with my partner. “
If you’d like to see more of the couple, you probably won’t have to wait long. Although no content is planned yet, she admits to being an oversharer. “Me being open and transparent about my experiences lets people know it’s okay to have flaws; it makes you human, and for many years, I didn’t believe that was okay. I had pressure to be perfect, and I’d crumble every time,” she explains to xoNecole.
Now, she owns her flaws and uses them as a superpower to connect with her community and feel and express her love.
“Some people give us [Skyh and KJ] a hard time because they say we just seem too perfect. I’m like, why is that a bad thing? I love the people I love. From my man to my mama, to my friends - unabashedly. We move through time and space how we want to move. If we did it another way, we’d let ourselves and our union down.”
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Feature image by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
