From Misdiagnosis To Multiple Surgeries: The Hidden Reality Of Fibroids Among Black Women

If someone had told me I’d be working toward my third fibroid surgery in less than six years, I would have had a hard time believing them. First, because obviously, no one wants to ever hear the word "surgery" (unless it’s cosmetic surgery you’re opting for). But the more significant reason is I’d never heard any of the women in my life talk about fibroids, so the idea of having all of the complex issues because of them, on top of surgeries, was truly a foreign concept.
After my doctor told me I’d need a second surgery in March of 2023—a hysteroscopic myomectomy—after bleeding every day for over six months, I was over it. Not just over the symptoms. But I was done feeling siloed on an island dealing with the pain, feeling tired all the time, and the heaviness of what felt like endless trips to the doctor for ultrasounds, blood transfusions, blood count checks, MRIs, etc.
I would try to explain what I was feeling, and my pain was written off because I guess period pain is just supposed to be normal. I’m here to tell you it is not. And because we’ve been conditioned to just deal, that’s the way things should stay. Yeah, no.
What is a hysteroscopic myomectomy? Hysteroscopic myomectomy is the most minimally invasive procedure to treat fibroids. A surgeon removes fibroids by inserting a hysteroscope into the uterine cavity through the vagina and cervix.
So, I wrote and directed an animated short film to bring educational and entertainment value to helping the world learn about fibroids. With $25,000 of my own money, I went forth and made the film titled Super High: A Period Piece. Now, it’s making its rounds on the festival circuit, even gaining entry into two Oscar-qualifying festivals: the Chicago International Film Festival and the New Orleans Film Festival. We even won Best Narrative Short at the Morehouse Human Rights Film Festival in Atlanta.
As I was venturing onto the festival circuit, my editor asked me to write a piece highlighting the experiences of Black women with fibroids. Initially, I planned to highlight up to 15 stories. However, as I started working on this story, I thought hearing the experiences more in-depth would be equally impactful. So, we chatted with four women about their fibroid journeys.
The one thing we all had in common, which made me sad but also made me feel seen, was that none of us knew much about them beforehand. However, our willingness to openly share our stories will hopefully change that for many women now and beyond.
Keep reading for four women’s stories about their journey with fibroids.
Rosco Spears, artist and creative director
Before your journey with fibroids, did you know much about them?
Before my journey with fibroids, I didn't know much about them. I'd never heard of fibroids until women around me started getting diagnosed. I was dealing with heavy, painful periods long before I was privy to any of these diagnoses.
Shortly before I was officially diagnosed with having fibroids (2012), I learned that my sister and other women in my family also had fibroids. As I've grown older, I've learned that my three sisters, many cousins, aunts, etc, have also had fibroids. It's simply an issue that was never discussed.
How did you find out you had fibroids?
I found out that I had fibroids while living in NYC. I was fed up with the pain and discomfort from my period, so I shopped around until I got an answer that I thought made sense. I met a wonderful woman doctor who finally diagnosed me, and she offered me several options for easing the discomfort. During this time, I would often bleed between periods.
In 2013, one of my "in-between" moments was more than the spotting that I was used to, so I took myself to the emergency [room]. I learned that my hemoglobin [levels] were at seven, and the doctors wouldn't let me leave the hospital without getting a blood transfusion. They also highly recommended that I get surgery to remove the fibroids. Once I officially got the diagnosis, it was scary, but it also felt amazing to know that I could begin planning a path forward.
What are hemoglobin levels? To ensure adequate tissue oxygenation—a very important complex dance between the lungs, blood, and cardiovascular system—a sufficient hemoglobin level has to be maintained. The normal Hb level for women is 12 to 16 g/dl. Low hemoglobin levels mean your body isn’t getting enough oxygen, which is why you feel very tired and weak.
If you're comfortable, we'd love to hear about your treatment. Did things go as planned? Were you nervous about what your doctor suggested?
I've had two abdominal myomectomies, one in 2013 (16 fibroids were removed) and another in 2020 (51 fibroids were removed). I was nervous about the idea of being cut open during the myomectomy, but I didn't think that the outcome could be any worse than the pain that I was already dealing with. Both surgeries went just as planned (aside from the 2nd surgery being rescheduled due to COVID-19), and my recovery from both was amazing.
In 2013, I was a bit unhinged. I went location scouting for a photo shoot for The Lip Bar three days after I got home from the hospital. My family was very upset, but I honestly felt fine. I had some abdominal pain, but within two weeks, I was back in the studio on my feet all day. After my second surgery, the plan was to try and have a child shortly after recovery. I took my time with healing and did things according to the book.
What is a myomectomy? A myomectomy is surgery to remove uterine fibroids. There are several types of myomectomies, but the procedure you and your doctor decide is right for you will depend on factors like location, number, and size of your fibroids.
How did you feel post-treatment? How has getting treatment changed your quality of life?
I felt/feel amazing post-treatment! For about 2-3 years after both surgeries, my periods were much lighter, and the pain was light [and] much more bearable than it was with the fibroids. My quality of life is much different post-surgery.
There have been years [when] I simply did not have any energy while I was on my period. The most I could do was get up to go to the bathroom and get right back in bed. Or I'd have to carry a change of clothes with me when traveling to work because I couldn't afford to take off during my period, but I knew that at some point, I would bleed through everything. So, in that regard, life is beautiful. I'm no longer passing out, nor do I feel the need to bring an extra set of pants along on the ride.
While my quality of life has improved tremendously, I often joke and say that I have PTSD from having bad periods. What I mean is that I still check my pants often when I'm on my period. And I still get anxiety if I'm in public and I'm on day two or three of my period because who knows if it is just a little blood that I feel coming down or it's a huge clot that's going to ruin my pants. And I still know better than to try and wash my hair on my heavy days because there isn't enough energy to do both.
For someone just starting their fibroid journey, what are two pieces of advice you'd give them?
You got this, sis! It's a difficult journey, but please seek advice from other women on the journey. If one doctor is not giving you sufficient information, find a new doctor. Make sure you're exploring all of the options for fibroid removal/shrinking treatments [because] it is not one size fits all. And take your iron supplements, boo.
How important do you think it is for us to share our fibroid stories with each other and talk about this openly?
Oh God, if I could pay women to share their fibroid stories, I would. It's imperative that we talk with one another about our experiences in health. I shared my fibroid story years ago because I was so lost when I was on my journey. One of my sisters had the surgery before I did, but other than her, I didn't have anyone to talk to about fibroids.
I felt very alone, isolated, and somewhat embarrassed because it felt like this wasn't happening to anyone else around me. It makes a world of difference when you can talk with someone about an issue they are also facing. We will learn a lot more by discussing shared experiences—much of which you cannot learn from talking to your doctor or Google.
La-Anna Douglas, women’s advocate and motivational speaker
Before your journey with fibroids, did you know much about them?
Being someone who started my period at the age of 10, I was in the dark when it pertained to fibroids and other reproductive health issues. I had never heard of fibroids, and I didn’t know that the pain I was experiencing, along with fertility delays, was because of the fibroids sitting in between my two uteruses. The pelvic pain, excruciating periods, fatigue, and protruding belly to someone else would have been a dead giveaway. But I had no idea what was going on with my body. I also did not know of anyone in my family dealing with fibroids.
How did you find out you had fibroids?
I was diagnosed with fibroids by a reproductive endocrinologist [and] was finally properly diagnosed after suffering for 16 years. I finally found a doctor willing to listen to my concerns and, most of all, believed that I wasn’t making it up. She scheduled me for a thorough examination, and I was soon scheduled for laparoscopic surgery. I was diagnosed with three fibroids, endometriosis, and a uterus didelphys (two uteruses and two cervixes).
Uterus didelphys is a rare congenital condition where you're born with two uteruses. It's commonly called a double uterus.
Again, I was misdiagnosed for years, and my pain was minimized. I was labeled as the girl with bad periods. I would have cramps for 3-4 days on my left side of my belly and then cramps for 3-4 days on my right. In actuality, I was having two periods from two different uteruses with three fibroids pressing on my wombs with endometriosis wrapped around my fallopian tubes and my uterus. When I heard all of the different diagnoses, I was angry, overwhelmed, scared, and confused. But the worst thing is that I was unprepared mentally and emotionally for the diagnosis and the journey ahead.
"I was misdiagnosed for years, and my pain was minimized. I was labeled as the girl with bad periods. In actuality, I was having two periods from two different uteruses with three fibroids pressing on my wombs with endometriosis wrapped around my fallopian tubes and my uterus."
If you're comfortable, we'd love to hear about your treatment. Did things go as planned? Were you nervous about what your doctor suggested?
I was told not to worry about removing the fibroids surgically after being diagnosed in my 20s back in 2008. But in 2020, during the pandemic, my pain started to escalate again. So, I was scheduled for an ultrasound, an MRI, and then a double-balloon procedure. I was told that my fibroids had grown and they were contributing to the secondary infertility I was experiencing. My doctor gave me two options. Would I rather have a hysterectomy?
I had already gone through 30 years of horrible periods, eight years of infertility [and] finally having a miracle baby in 2013 by God’s grace, and I had already gone through multiple procedures. Or I could do the robotic laparoscopic myomectomy, where they would remove the fibroids and open my two cervixes by also doing a hysteroscopy. At first, [I] wanted to do a hysterectomy, but [after] talking to my family and praying about it, I decided on having the robotic laparoscopic myomectomy. I was a little nervous but knew I was in good hands.
What is a laparoscopic myomectomy? A laparoscopic myomectomy is a minimally invasive procedure to remove uterine fibroids. A surgeon makes four tiny incisions in your abdomen and then uses a laparoscope, which is a special instrument that contains a light and video camera, to operate through the incisions.
How did you feel post-treatment? How has getting treatment changed your quality of life?
Post-treatment, I felt relieved and grateful. The healing journey was okay. I had a lot of support from my family, especially my husband. After the healing, [I am] loving on my body because the many scars on my belly are my beauty marks. I started to get more confident in who I was. The doctor who did the robotic laparoscopic myomectomy believed that I would get pregnant again.
Well, six months after the surgery, I became pregnant with our second miracle baby girl after eight years of secondary infertility at the age of 40. And to think, [had] I decided on the hysterectomy, she would not be here. Our surprise baby has brought so much happiness to our family.
For someone just starting their fibroid journey, what are two pieces of advice you'd give them?
For anyone just beginning their fibroid journey, my advice would be to advocate for yourself no matter what the diagnosis may be. Your voice matters, and you control your narrative. If the doctor is not listening to you or your concerns, you have every right to seek a second, third, fourth, or as many opinions as you wish until you are heard and properly cared for. KNOW YOUR WORTH!
[And,] to always love on yourself through the journey with fibroids and anything else you may be going through. YOU ARE ENOUGH. The physical scars and the invisible scars are your beauty marks. And share with others how you are feeling and what you are going through. Please do not suffer in silence!
How important do you think it is for us to share our fibroid stories with each other and talk about this openly?
It is so important that we share our journey with fibroids because there is power in supportive stories. We all must realize that we are not alone. There are so many of us who have similar situations going on or may be feeling the same feelings you may be feeling.
Sharing your story also helps to heal those hurts that happen on the road to diagnosis. Healing taps into the strength that has been lying dormant inside of us, and when that strength is ignited, there is nothing that can stop you from advocating for yourself and others who begin to share their stories with you.
Dawn Heels, award-winning fibroid advocate and campaigner
Before your journey with fibroids, did you know much about them?
I knew absolutely nothing about fibroids apart from the fact that my mum had one (she found out when she was pregnant with me), but even with this information, she didn't know anything about them.
How did you find out you had fibroids?
I had always suffered [from] extremely heavy, painful periods. I thought [this] was normal, [so] I didn't link it to the fact that something could be wrong with me. I first discovered I had fibroids after experiencing constant pain in the left-hand side of my abdomen in 2016. During an ultrasound scan, I was told I had 2 x 4 cm fibroids by the sonographer.
Two types of ultrasound scan can be used to help diagnose fibroids: an abdominal ultrasound scan – where the ultrasound probe is moved over the outside of your tummy (abdomen) a transvaginal ultrasound scan – where a small ultrasound probe is inserted into your vagina.
I hadn’t a clue what they were, and when I went back to see my doctor, he told me that I had nothing to worry about because fibroids were common, normal, and I should deal with any pain with a hot water bottle and ibuprofen. And because he told me I had nothing to worry about, at that moment, I didn’t worry.
If you're comfortable, we'd love to hear about your treatment. Did things go as planned? Were you nervous about what your doctor suggested?
Over the next six years, my pain and suffering got worse. I displayed horrendous fibroid symptoms: bum cheek pain, leg pain, painful, heavy, clotty periods, lower back pain, extreme pain, abdominal/pelvic pain, early pregnancy symptoms, tiredness, ‘preggo belly,’ painful sex, long periods and was infertile. I finally saw a consultant who changed my life, as he was the first person to listen to me and put a plan in place.
"He transvaginally scanned me and told me I actually had at least six fibroids, the biggest being the size of a grapefruit, and with that, I would have to have an open myomectomy."
He transvaginally scanned me and told me I actually had at least six fibroids, the biggest being the size of a grapefruit, and with that, I would have to have an open myomectomy. I cried so many tears because I thought if I was to ever have an operation that resembled the C-section, I would be giving birth to a baby, not tumors! The operation was a success, and he removed 16 fibroids and left 2 in to give me a chance at conceiving. I lost a lot of blood and had an emergency blood transfusion one week later.
After eight weeks of healing, I started to feel much better.
How did you feel post-treatment? How has getting treatment changed your quality of life?
The open myomectomy gave me my life back—a good quality of life. I wasn’t in pain anymore. My periods were shorter and significantly lighter, and best of all, I fell pregnant six months after surgery!
What is an open myomectomy? An abdominal, or open, myomectomy removes fibroids through an incision in the abdomen, typically on the bikini line. The recovery time generally lasts up to six weeks.
For someone just starting their fibroid journey, what are two pieces of advice you'd give them?
Educate yourself on the condition so you can guide the conversation and ask relevant questions when going into your consultations. Advocate for yourself, too! Too many of us will just agree to all sorts of nonsense just because the medical professional says so! You are the expert over your own body, so speak up!
How important do you think it is for us to share our fibroid stories with each other and talk about this openly?
I became an ‘accidental’ advocate because I shared my story. My inbox was inundated with messages from other ladies who had suffered or were currently suffering. That’s how powerful a share is.
Camille Austin, model and content creator
Before your journey with fibroids, did you know much about them? For example, did you know what symptoms to look out for?
I did not know much, if not anything at all. So, I did not know what symptoms to look out for.
Did you know if anyone in your family had ever dealt with them?
Yes, my mother, but she was already going through menopause, so our symptoms did not seem comparable.
How did you find out you had fibroids?
[I went] to my primary care physician, who is also a WOC. She performed a pelvic exam, and when I told her about all of my symptoms, she thought it was fibroids. It took a while and [was] frankly [an] annoying process to finally get to an MRI where they found three fibroids, one the size of 15cm.
And how did you feel once you got the official diagnosis?
I felt relieved and scared—scared about what this meant about my fertility. [But,] relieved that I had answers and I was going to get better.
If you're comfortable, we'd love to hear about your treatment. Did things go as planned? Were you nervous about what your doctor suggested?
I had to have surgery due to the size [of my fibroid.] I had an open and laparoscopic procedure done and was on the table for eight hours. I did not initially trust my surgeon as she wanted to jump straight into a hysterectomy. Common practice says that the only way to stop them from ever coming back is through a hysterectomy, which I find to be a bit extreme. To me, it sounds like it's just under-researched, and not enough efforts are being made because this largely impacts WOC, but I digress.
"My surgeon thought because I'm so young, healthy, and strong, she did not put me on a hospital list, which gives another doctor the ability to treat me overnight should something happen. Well, something happened."
My surgeon thought because I'm so young, healthy, and strong, she did not put me on a hospital list, which gives another doctor the ability to treat me overnight should something happen. Well, something happened. I found out I'm allergic to Dilaudid (a common pain med). I broke out and had a third-degree chemical burn around my stomach from the adhesive, and my skin completely broke out. There was not a doctor available to give me even so much as a Benadryl to ease the discomfort. Nurses can't prescribe meds.
It wasn't until I threatened to leave the hospital—I got up and packed my bags—that I received a pink Benadryl pill after waiting for about 6 hours. About a week after I got home, I broke into a fever and was septic. I was rushed back to the hospital and had to spend an additional four days. In short, the healing process did not go according to plan.
After your difficult hospital experience and healing journey, how did you feel post-treatment? How has getting treatment changed your quality of life?
After treatment, I felt so much better after everything was said and done. I would still get the surgery if I had to do it again. When I eventually healed, my periods were shorter. I could fit my clothes again, and I just had more energy to do things since I was not as anemic.
For someone just starting their fibroid journey, what are two pieces of advice you'd give them?
[First,] push for that MRI sooner than later. If you catch them when they are small, you can look into non-invasive ways to get rid of them.
Make sure your doctor has a hospital list, and ask who will be in charge of taking care of you when your doctor is not around.
What does an MRI mean for fibroids? An MRI uses a magnetic field and radio waves to create computerized, 3D images of the uterus. These images can help your doctor decide which treatment is best for you and rule out other issues like adenomyosis and endometriosis.
How important do you think it is for us to share our fibroid stories with each other and talk about this openly?
I think it's important because we can all learn from each other, and this is not just becoming a "woman over 30" problem. According to my doctors, I was far too young, and due to my age, this was something that went unnoticed. Frankly, it should not have been a far stretch because I have fibroids in my breast tissue as well, but somehow, no correlation has been made.
So we have to press the issue, so hopefully, we can look into why this is happening to so many women and not allow a hysterectomy to be the first response.
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Featured image by Shutterstock
Originally published on October, 2, 2024
Sergio Hudson On Designing With Intention And Who Gets Left Out Of The Industry
Sergio Hudson dreamt big as a young South Carolina boy staring out of the window of his mom’s Volvo driving down the Ridgeway, South Carolina streets. Those dreams led him to design opulent tailoring that’s been worn by Beyoncé, Queen Latifah, former Vice President Kamala Harris and Forever First Lady Michelle Obama, just to name a few.
Those dreams have come full circle in a new way as he recently collaborated with Volvo for a mini capsule collection suitable for chic and stylish moments this fall. The 40-year-old designer follows a long legacy of fashion aficionados who’ve used their innovation to push the automotive industry forward, including Virgil Abloh, Eddie Bauer, Paul Smith and Jeremy Scott.
Using the same material from the interior of the Volvo EX90, Hudson crafted a wool-blend car coat and waistbelt that combine the vehicle’s Scandinavian design with his signature tailoring and intention. The exclusive collection launched on October 20, and each piece is made-to-order by Sergio Hudson Collections.

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In October, I traveled to Charleston with a group of journalists to get a firsthand look at Hudson and Volvo’s location. During a fitting, Hudson said his goal is to make “great work that can stand the test of time.”
“People can look back on and say, ‘I remember when Sergio did that collaboration with Volvo,’” he continued. “Thinking about aligning yourself with classic brands that speak to where you want to go. And I think that's what this collaboration kind of means to me and my business.”
Hudson pinpoints his mom as the biggest influence for his designs. This collaboration was no different.
“This particular coat reminded me of the swing coats that my mom used to wear in the early 90s. You know, diva girls in the early 90s had Sandra suits,” he said, referring to Jackée Harry’s character in 227. “My mom wore those and she would have these matching swing coats to go over them. And that's where the initial idea came. This would be around the same time that we had our Volvo. So she would put on her suit, her swing coat, get in that red Volvo, and go to church.”

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With this capsule and beyond, Hudson wants to see more staples rotating in and out of closets this fall. He advises fashionistas to build her closet out with essentials to mix and match that aren’t just stylish but also sustainable.
“It's just those special pieces,” he said. “You can wear the same shirt and pants every day and nobody will notice. But if you have a special boot, a special coat, a special bill, a special bag, that kind of speaks to everything that your style stands about, that is something you should focus on.”
These are the same kind of staple pieces that return to our Pinterest boards and TikTok feeds season after season. Fast fashion has never been Hudson’s aim. “I'm trying to create a special pieces that can stand the test of time,” he said in his warm, Southern accent. “I'm only creating those kind of pieces from here on out.”

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For Hudson, this collaboration is revolutionary. It’s his first time working with a car company and experimenting outside of his wheelhouse in this way.
“This is a Scandinavian brand, and, you know, it's 70 years old. I'm an African-American boy from South Carolina that has had a brand for 10 years. So I think bridging those two worlds and seeing the similarities was the beauty of this project,” he explained.
Though Hudson and his partner and CEO of Sergio Hudson Collections Inga Beckham have made massive strides in just 10 years, Hudson said the industry is far from where he wants to see it when it comes to Black representation. He pointed to how few Black designers were at this year’s Met Gala despite the theme being Black dandyism.
“The fact that I dressed 18 people speaks to how many of us weren't there,” he said. He implored more of industries, fashion and beyond, to collaborate with Black designers often.
“Allow mentorship. Allow funding. Allow great design to shine through,” he implored. “When it comes to being a designer of African descent, when you can't get the funding that your counterparts have, you can't compete. When you get opportunities like doing a collaboration with Volvo, or you get opportunities to be at the Met Gala, that's putting us on the equal playing field, but really the funding behind it is what we need to take it to that desk level.”
Featured image courtesy
Y’all know what folks tend to do in the hours leading up to a new year — they make New Year’s Resolutions. And while I’m personally not the biggest fan of those (check out “Forget New Year's Resolutions, Try This Instead.”), what I do like to recommend is taking personal inventory to see what you need to hold on to and what you can stand to actually…let go of.
So, let’s get right into it.
As you’re thinking about all of what transpired over the past 12 months, here are some signs that certain things (or people) who are currently in your sphere may need to be significantly realigned or even, shoot…let go of. Ultimately, for your greater good.
1. Your Mind, Body and Spirit Aren’t in Agreement (About It)
GiphyI believe I’ve shared before that, back when I was writing my first book, although I adored my editing team overall, it was still a Christian-based one, and so there were a few things that we would clash on. Take the term “human trinity,” for example. They kept wanting me to say something else for fear that it would appear “blasphemous” to certain readers.
Meanwhile, I kept giving pushback because "trinity" is not an actual biblical word. It literally means a group of three or a triad and while that can apply to the Godhead (I John 5:8), nothing is wrong with applying it to other situations and dynamics too...and, to me, the mind, body and spirit of a person equates to what I call their “human trinity” — and something that I oftentimes tell my clients is, “If your mind, body and spirit” are not all in agreement about something (or someone), take heed to that; at the very least, it’s an orange flag, if not a flat-out red one.
So with that said, think about what you have going on in your life right now — if you’re not in a state of complete and total peace concerning everything, is it your mind that feels that way? Is it your body that seems a bit stressed? Is it your spirit that has you unsettled?
Always remember that your being — your mind, body, as well as your spirit — was created to work in harmony, and so, if that isn’t happening about a particular person, place, thing, or idea…you really should pause, ponder, and reflect before making any major moves. Oh, and if two parts of your trinity are struggling, 8/10, that is a sign that you definitely pump the brakes. At least until you figure out why.
2. It’s Spiritually Compromising You
GiphyI’m pretty sure that a lot of you have heard the quote, “You don't have a soul, you are a soul; you have a body,” before. If you thought that the writer C.S. Lewis authored it, many people do. Actually, it comes from a man whom he admired by the name of George MacDonald, and yes, it is quite profound when you stop to think about your spirit is the divine part of your being; yes, many consider it to also be your soul (check out “I’ve Got Some Ways For You To Start Pampering Your Soul”).
Since the essence of who you are pretty much comes from the spiritual side of you (check out “What's The Difference Between Being 'Religious' And Being 'Spiritual', Anyway?”), it’s important that you are super intentional about nurturing and nourishing it; this includes keeping safeguards up in order to prevent anyone or anything from compromising you from giving your spirit exactly what it needs to thrive and flourish.
For some of you, you know this means letting go of your partner. For some of you, a toxic friend. For others, it’s really time to find a new career path, shift churches (LISTEN), to move to another location (even if that’s another state or country) or to totally reroute your daily routine — and you know this to be true because your spirit is currently feeling drained and/or bitter and/or resentful and/or confused and/or like you are losing a part of who you are just to keep “it” around.
Sis, it’s not worth it. Compromising yourself at the expense of it costing yourself never EVER is. If what I just said hit really close to home, you’ve still got a few hours to leave it all behind in time for a brand and spanking new year. It might not be easy yet do it anyway. Your spirit deserves it.
3. You’ve “Hit a/the Ceiling”
GiphyI ain’t got no lies to tell you — between the orange one in the White House and his uber-maniac ways and AI sinking its teeth deeper and deeper into so many different industries, I definitely think that 2026 is going to be a roller coaster ride for many people as far as the job market is concerned. So, while I am ABSOLUTELY NOT recommending that you flippantly, emotionally, or impulsively quit your job any time soon, I do think that you should ask yourself if you’ve “hit the ceiling” where you are, so that you can possibly plan to look for employment elsewhere or even pivot into something else entirely.
And what are some signs that you have indeed knocked your head up against said ceiling?
- You are bored as hell (or worse, miserable AF) at work
- There is no room for promotion
- Your boss couldn’t care less about your goals or ambitions
- You feel undervalued
- Your skills are underutilized
- There seems to be little to no improvement or progress within the company
- You haven’t received a raise in years
- You procrastinate because you don’t feel motivated or inspired
The fact that most of us spend the majority of our waking hours working, it makes not one bit of sense to be collecting a check at a place that is stressing you out, messing with your psyche and/or is causing you to feel like there’s not much more that life has to offer than, as they say, “paying bills and dying.” If that is what life is like for you right now, although you might not be able to quit this month, it is definitely time to put an exit strategy into place. You know, some say that a whopping 85 percent of people hate their job.
If you are one of them, let’s strive to have that no longer be the case in 2026.
4. There Is Little-to-No Reciprocity
GiphyI’m not a fan of transactional dating (check out “Guess What? Dating Was Never Supposed To Be Transactional.” and “Should You Start Off As Friends? Science Says Absolutely.”); anyone who knows me will tell you that. And when guys talk to me about how drained they feel by a woman who seems to only take and not give (for instance, someone just talked to me about how his girlfriend of three years gave him a $20 gift card; meanwhile, he purchased her seven different presents…and she actually makes more money than he does — SMDH), I will oftentimes say, “If there’s no reciprocity, she is a liability.” And I mean it with everything in me.
This goes beyond romantic situations too. Take a friend of mine who, when I tell you that, when it comes to painful situations, she absolutely sucks at being a good support system. I know this because, for the past few weeks, I’ve been telling her that she has a pattern of not showing up in hurtful times and that my patience is wearing thin because I am just the opposite.
She shared with me that she realizes that she doesn’t show up for herself in her own painful moments, and so when something really uncomfortable, trying, or taxing happens to someone else, she tends to retreat instead of reaching out.
In other ways, she’s solid, and so we are working through the matter — but I’ll tell you this: At this point in my life, when I share where I need reciprocit,y and folks don’t want to give it, I have no problem shifting how I prioritize them in my world. Because it makes no sense to call someone “friend” (or partner) and you’re doing most of the work to make that word…relevant.
Bottom line with this one is, if you’re not getting what you need from your relationships — ANY KIND OF RELATIONSHIP — it just might be time to leave certain people behind…now (check out “Why I Don't 'Cut People Off' Anymore, I Release Them Instead”)…so that you have room for who will be willing to show you what reciprocity in relationships looks and feels like.
5. You Feel “Stuck” in “It”
GiphyWhen it comes to the word “stuck,” the definition that I’m coming from here is “to become fastened, hindered, checked, or stationary by some obstruction” — and for the sake of time and space, what I want to amplify is the word “hinder.” One definition of hinder is “to cause delay, interruption, or difficulty in; hamper; impede,” while another is “to prevent from doing, acting, or happening; stop.”
Believe it or not, as a marriage life coach, there are actually clients who I have fired — and the reason was that they were wasting my time. Listen, when you get to the point in your life where you get that there is less time in front of you than behind you, you can’t really put a price tag on your precious moments, so when clients don’t do their homework and/or choose to remain in ridiculous situations (for years at a time) and/or really just want to be coddled instead of getting the tips and tools that they need to make wise decisions on their own — they cause me to feel “stuck” because they aren’t challenging me to be a better coach.
Progress in a client is what makes me better…and so, what I will typically do is put these types of people on probation for about 4-6 months and then release them if they remain in their hamster wheel of cyclic activity (after over a year of working with them).
This is an example of what “stuck” looks and feels like in my life; however, you need to figure out if and how that word may apply to your own. What I can tell you is anything that you know is interrupting or preventing you from doing what you know needs to happen in your world, whether it’s a person, place, thing or idea, you really need to ask yourself if it’s worth holding on to — and if you believe that it is, you definitely should realign your boundaries concerning it or then. Because again, life is too short (and precious) to be “stuck” in something that really isn’t serving you (or serving you any longer).
6. Your Present and Future Seem Super Foggy with It Around
GiphyWhat does this mean? Well, fogginess speaks to things being unclear, right? When it comes to your present, a lack of clarity can speak to feeling/being confused and confusion means that something is going on that either doesn’t make sense to us or is sending us all kinds of mixed messages and signals — and when you continue to dwell in that kind of space, there’s a pretty good chance that your future will be just as…foggy. Just as unclear. Just as confusing.
I’ll explain. Have you ever tried to drive in the fog? You typically can’t see very far ahead, which means that you kind of have to drag along in your car and, even with headlights, sometimes something can run out in front of you, catch you off guard and that can either make your nerves bad or cause you to wreck. Along these same lines, a “foggy situation” can do the same thing — you’ll be out here barely getting anything done because you’re so busy trying to figure out what the hell is going on with it or them…and that usually will cause a domino effect in other areas of your life too.
Sis, it’s not worth it. If you don’t get what’s going on in some area of your world, you’re missing information, you are being gaslit, and/or you are in denial about what is transpiring right before your very eyes. For all of this, purpose to get the answers (clarity) that you seek or leave it behind you.
As an author by the name of Shannon L. Alder once said, “The most confused you will ever get is when you try to convince your heart and spirit of something your mind knows is a lie.” Somebody REALLY needed to hear that today. I hope that you did.
Just in time for another year, and the things that you can feel really good and CRYSTAL CLEAR about.
Welcome to 2026, my dear.
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Here's What 2026 Has In Store For You, Based On Your Zodiac Sign
2026 is a year of love, growth, and reflection. As a universal 1-year, 2026 is signifying a time of new beginnings. New doors open, and this is the perfect space to build new foundations, relationships, and successes in your world. This year is about what you do with what you are receiving and understanding the power of intention and innovation.
It’s about having balance between your individual needs and the needs of your relationships, and knowing that you can have it all. 2026 reminds us of the importance of community, and new bridges will be built.
Overall, this year has some pleasant and unexpected surprises in store, and this is the year to follow your heart.
Key Astrological Transits of 2026
June 30: Jupiter Enters Leo
Jupiter enters Leo this year until 2027, and this is especially good news for fire signs: Leo, Aries, and Sagittarius, and for fixed signs: Aquarius and Scorpio. Jupiter in Leo is grand, regal, and over-the-top, and you can expect a lot of this energy in 2026. This is the time to own your creativity, your self-empowerment, and what makes you shine in life. You can align with the blessings of Jupiter by aligning with your heart and what makes you truly happy in life. This year is about being confident in your inner knowing and showing up.
July 27: North Node in Aquarius/South Node in Leo
The North Node moves into Aquarius, and the South Node enters Leo mid-year until 2028, and this is instrumental for the collective. With the North Node in Aquarius, authenticity is the direction to be heading. More people will be showing up exactly as they are, and feeling confident in their unique signature in life. We are letting go of the need to always be put together or be seen as “perfect” and embracing more community, genuineness, and eccentricity. New technological advances that shift the world are also more likely with the North Node in Aquarius.
October 3: Venus Retrograde in Scorpio/Libra
Venus goes retrograde every other year, and 2026 is a Venus Retrograde year. Venus will be retrograde in Scorpio from October 3 until October 25, and it’s important to be patient in matters of love and not to rush into things here. Take the time to get to know your past, present, and future in love better at this time, and don’t overcommit to things you don’t have the energy to see through. Venus will then be retrograde in Libra from October 25 until November 13, and this retrograde period brings you closer to the partnerships that serve you in life and helps you reflect on what these relationships may need to feel more stable and secure.
Overall, we are gaining clarity in love this year.
Read for your sun and rising sign below to see what 2026 has in store for you.
ARIES
This year is about putting yourself and your dreams first, Aries. You are on the path towards abundance, and your to-do list is piling up. This is the year to be confident in the things you are developing, consider all perspectives, and open up to new opportunities. Saturn, the planet of strength, hard work, and dedication, is in your sign for the entire year, and you are overcoming. Saturn tends to challenge you more than anything, and this year, it's challenging you to evolve.
This is the year to create a new plan and take the steps needed to fulfill it.
With Neptune also in Aries for the entire year, you have wisdom, creativity, and imagination on your side, and 2026 overall is the year to believe in the impossible. Connecting more deeply with your spirituality is also serving you this year, as you define your belief systems, interests, and inspiration, and let life guide you. It’s all about having balance this year, Aries. Move when you feel inspired to move, and allow when you feel ready to let go and receive.
TAURUS
2026 is your year of connection, collaboration, and increasing your earnings, Taurus. You are walking into the year full of empowerment and vision, and you know what you want to accomplish and who you want to accomplish it with. Opportunities to work with others and create something beautiful in your world are more prevalent this year, and you have the Midas Touch in 2026. This year is all about dedicating yourself to your dreams and being proud of yourself and your efforts.
The New Moon in Taurus on May 16 is a groundbreaking moment for you in 2026, and a time when you feel like you are embarking on a new chapter in your life. Embrace the opportunities that come your way mid-year, and know that you have what it takes to succeed. On June 19, Chiron, the wounded healer, enters your sign, and you enter a new journey of getting to know yourself, your past, and your inner world better.
Chiron will be in Taurus until September 17, will briefly enter Aries until April 2027, and then will transit back into your sign until July 2033, so there is time, but overall, you are opening the door to healing this year.
GEMINI
2026 is a transformative year for you, Gemini. You are awakening to new ideas, insight, and experiences, and it can feel like there is a lot to take in right now. This is your year of embarking on a new journey and defining what you want for yourself. Things change, perspectives shift, and it’s about what you do with what you know now. Uranus, the planet of upheaval, change, and rebellion, is in your sign from April 25 until May 2033, and this year is about expecting the unexpected.
Know that everything happens for a reason, and what transforms for you now is creating the space for new life to grow.
Jupiter, the planet of blessings and expansion, also changes signs this year, and for you, this means a new outlook on life altogether. Jupiter will be in your 3rd house of communication from June 30 until July 26, 2027, and the vision is there for you. This is a great year for publication, writing, short travels, social media, and networking, and you are learning how to take up space right now. Overall, 2026 is about getting the answers you have been looking for, feeling empowered to express yourself, and allowing transformations to move you into a new beginning.
CANCER
This year is about knowing you are supported and finding your strength, Cancer. You have been working hard on building the things that matter to you and finding your stability in life, and this year is that last push towards your dreams. You have been protecting your energy and your peace; however, this year reminds you that remaining overly vigilant can hinder you from being open to new opportunities that can actually serve you in life.
Remember to listen to your intuition more than your fears this year, and trust that you are being guided in the right direction.
We begin the year with a Supermoon in Cancer on January 3, and end the year with a Supermoon in Cancer on December 23 as well. This is major news, and points to some life-changing closures, culminations, and inner awakenings happening for you in 2026. With Jupiter also in your sign until June 30, luck is still on your side right now. Your life is expanding, and it’s time to catch up to the new chapters that want to take place for you by letting go of what hasn’t been working.
This year isn’t about sticking to what is comfortable; it’s about opening your mind and your heart to new possibilities.
LEO
2026 is your year of freedom, success, and stability, Leo. You have a lot of things working out for you this year, and it’s because you have done the work and trusted yourself and your unique journey in the process. The mountains you have climbed are behind you now, and you are ready to experience the fruition of the intentions you have set for yourself. Jupiter, the planet of luck, moves into your sign this year from June 30 until July 26, 2027, and you enter a fortunate time in your life.
With Jupiter in Leo, all eyes are on you, new opportunities come into your life, and you are feeling sure of yourself.
This year not only empowers you, but it also helps you let go of what has been disrupting your healing journey. The South Node enters Leo from July 2026 until March 2028, and you are moving through the process of getting to know yourself and your past better. You are going over the things you have identified yourself with, the experiences that have shaped you into the person you are today, and what this all means for the way you experience life overall today. This year is about evolving, letting go, and claiming new blessings.
VIRGO
2026 gives you perspective, Virgo. This year is a new beginning for you altogether, and you are taking things one step at a time. The vision is clear, the intentions are set, and you know what needs to be done to live a life of fulfillment. With the South Node in Virgo until July 26, you are still in the process of healing from the past, discovering new truths about yourself, and rewriting your story. This is a defining year for you, and the confidence you have in your vision for the future is creating new success, connections, and opportunities for yourself.
This year is about speaking up, gaining clarity, and being the star of your world.
With a Lunar Eclipse in Virgo on March 3, you are moving into the year with the need for closure and redemption. You have been through the process of letting go and creating anew, and this back-and-forth energy finally comes to a close for you at this time. You have taken care of yourself and your dreams, and now it’s time to allow yourself to be taken care of more and to embrace the new success that wants to come into your life. Know that sometimes things just work out without reason, and that when little miracles happen for you this year, accept them.
LIBRA
2026 is all about having patience, setting new intentions, and sticking to the plan, Libra. You are walking into the year with a lot of responsibilities on your plate, but it’s nothing you can’t handle or delegate. Look for new resources and opportunities this year, and don’t allow yourself to get caught up in the timing of it all. Things happen when you least expect them to, and it’s about trusting that things are working out behind the scenes for you right now.
With Jupiter moving into your 11th house of friendships this year, your support systems are instrumental to your growth in 2026 and will be a guiding force of love and community for you.
As you walk into the year, write a list of the defining experiences you want to have this year. Don’t have any expectations on the timing of it all or how exactly things will play out for you; leave that up to the universe. However, create the plan and get the vision going. With Venus going retrograde in your sign at the end of the year, from October 25 through November 13, you will be leaving this year with more clarity of the heart.
Relationship dynamics shift, and you are recognizing more of what your heart needs in order to feel seen, supported, and abundant.
SCORPIO
This is a powerful year for you, Scorpio. 2026 is all about living out your dreams and experiencing the successes you have been working towards. You have set the intentions and done the work, and the manifestations you once dreamed of come into your reality. This year is about getting your ducks in a row, preparing yourself for the opportunities you have wanted, and knowing that you are exactly where you are meant to be.
You are entering a year of empowerment and abundance, and are owning your independence and positive energy in the process.
Jupiter, the planet of fortune and good luck, moves into your house of career and achievements mid-year, and you are accomplishing some major feats. Your career and professional life are taking off, and you are a hot commodity in 2026. This is your year of believing in yourself wholeheartedly, and not self-sabotaging the good that is in front of you. At the end of the year, Venus goes retrograde in your sign from October 3 until October 25, and your heart is doing some healing, reconnecting, and self-reflecting. Overall, this is a major year of growth for you, and you are moving through life head-on.
SAGITTARIUS
2026 moves quickly for you, Sagittarius. You are experiencing some renewed enlightenment, and this is an important year for communication matters. It’s about trusting your process, not rushing into anything, and allowing your mind to catch up to your body. Be careful with being too impulsive this year, but overall, trust that you will know what you need to know when you are ready to. Life is expanding for you overall in 2026, and your mind is expanding in the process. Pay attention to the conversations you are having this year, as this is when a lot of things are shifting for you.
With Saturn in your 5th house of romance for the entire year, you are on a journey of redefining what happiness means to you.
Have you been putting your positive experiences, happiness, and romantic life on the back burner too often? This is where massive changes are taking place for you this year, and when you get a better look at what you need to feel truly fulfilled and your heart a little lighter. On June 30, Jupiter, your ruling planet, moves into your 9th house of travel and adventure, and this is when things really start picking up for you this year. You are crossing off your bucket list as you move through 2026, and learning something new about yourself and the world around you in the process.
CAPRICORN
2026 is all about taking on new opportunities and owning the momentum you feel in your life right now, Capricorn. This is a fast-moving year for you, and things happen in the blink of an eye. You are feeling motivated towards your new beginnings and are experiencing a lot of support and fortunate opportunities that you have been looking forward to in the process. It’s about taking more time to listen to your intuition and instincts and trusting that you are making the best decisions for yourself.
With Saturn, your ruling planet, in your 4th house of home this year, you are rebuilding your safe spaces right now.
Dynamics shift, and this is helping you get a clearer view of what is working and what isn’t working for you regarding family life, home, financial security, your inner world, and how you process things here. With the North Node also moving into your house of communication mid-year, you are learning more about the power of your thoughts and the words you put out there. This year is about speaking into existence what you want to happen and understanding the power you hold as the creator of your life.
AQUARIUS
2026 is the year of owning the balance you have found in your life, Aquarius. You are giving and receiving freely, and feeling more abundant than you have in a while. Things just flow and work out for you in 2026, and it’s time to own that you deserve this energy. You have been putting into place and preparing for the things that are finally happening for you this year, and it’s time to feel good about it all. This year reminds you that you are worthy of freedom, abundance, and success, and that the more you embrace this knowing, the more it becomes your reality.
We enter the year with a Solar Eclipse in Aquarius on February 17, signifying a year of new beginnings, change, and personal growth for you.
Who you are when you enter the year is a different person from who you are when you leave it, and you are feeling more like yourself overall. The North Node of Destiny also enters your sign this year on July 26 until March 2028, and you embark on a journey of blessings. Life changes dramatically for you over the next few years, and this year is that first step towards change. You are owning your independence while also understanding the importance of the relationships that are growing for you this year.
PISCES
This year is about allowing life to come full circle and trusting that you are supported along the way, Pisces. There is a lot to think about and process this year, and it’s important to be a little kinder to yourself. Give yourself grace and know that you will move through this time and overcome what is needed. With the North Node in your sign until July 26, rewriting your destiny, you have the power to make some massive shifts in your life this year and to truly align yourself with the vision you have for your future that supports your abundance, power, and intentions.
It can feel like a lot is happening at once this year, and it’s important to focus more on your perspective of it all.
If you are focusing more on the things that aren’t working out for you or comparing your journey to others, you might feel disheartened and stagnant. The Lunar Eclipse in Pisces on August 28 is the perfect opportunity for growth for you, and when you can really let go of the self-sabotage or fears that have made you overthink your blessings. Overall, this year is a reminder that you are worthy, loved, and intelligent, and you can make the best decisions for yourself.
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