The truth about breaking into the fashion and entertainment media industry is that it takes work–hard work.
It means being willing to go above and beyond without the promise of better pay. It means late nights in the office clutching a Starbucks coffee cup and working on projects that may not have even been a part of your job description. Or simply making sure that the work you're doing is so impeccable that others have no choice but to take notice.
It's the reason why Kahlana Barfield Brown, the fashion and beauty editor-at-large at InStyle magazine, has been able to successfully climb the ladder in an industry that's known for its high turnovers.
She is the quintessential example of what happens when you exercise hard work, diligence, faith, and patience.
Kahlana is living the dream life that every fashion mag lover would kill for. Flip through the glossy pages of InStyle and you'll catch the beauty queen jetting off to Paris to cover fashion week, having a slumber party with Jessica Alba, or dishing style advice on TV, but Kahlana affirms that behind the flash and flare, there is also hustle and smarts. For the stylish go-getter, the yellow brick road to realizing her dreams wasn't always perfectly paved, it took sacrifice and a relentless work ethic to get in and stay in.
“A lot of times young girls are impatient and they want it to happen so quickly," she says. “They try it and if it's not happening fast enough they move on to something else. But that something else that they move on to isn't necessarily their passion. They couldn't be patient anymore and obviously, we all need money and you want something stable, but I always say ride it out because when you're doing something that you actually love, you're going to enjoy going to work every day."
Photo Credit: Kahlana Barfield Brown & Nana, Instagram
Growing up in Seattle, Wash., Kahlana always had a passion for fashion. On our call she lights up when she tells me that her mom and grandmother have always stepped out in style, and in fact, it was her grandmother in particular, who made sure they had weekly dates to either Nordstrom or Bon Marche (now Macy's) where she'd get to pick out one nice thing.
“She was that person that always said, 'Your sense of style is a reflection of you. That's what people see first. It's your image. And you never know who you could meet. You always want to look the part.'"
It's obvious from browsing Kahlana's Instagram, that she took that advice to heart. Her sense of fashion is bold, chic, and mixed with lots of fun shapes and textures. However, no matter how polished she was, education and self-determination has always been first.
“In my household, when I came home from school, I had to do my homework and then I had to read The Autobiography of Malcolm X. I was probably in middle school when I read Malcolm X for the first time," Kahlana tells me about her upbringing. “[My parents] very much taught me who I am as a Black woman, and what our ancestors did for us to pave the way for us. I credit my dad for this because education is the most important thing for him. He's like, 'Yes, style and all that is good, but you have nothing if you don't have your brain. Everything else is surface.'"
Kahlana eventually made her way to the East Coast where she graduated from Howard University with a bachelor's degree in journalism. Shortly after commencement, she moved to New York City because as far as she was concerned, The Big Apple is where fashion lives.
“What Howard taught me was if you're going to do something, you do it at the highest level. You want to work at fashion magazine, you move to New York! That's the capital of fashion," she shares about her fearless decision. “You don't move back home to Seattle. You go where you're going to be able to be the biggest person in that field."
Kahlana's hit-the-pavement attitude made her parents nervous, especially when she settled for an internship making $15 a day at the start-up magazine Suede over an actual job, but this is where it's important to check the fear that comes with the unknown.
“I knew that I wanted to work in magazines and I knew how competitive this industry was and I knew that I was going to have to start from the bottom and prove myself," she tells me. “I had no ego, I was living on an air mattress at my prophyte's house (Delta Sigma Theta Sorority) in Harlem, and I was working a second job after my internship at Club Monaco. I just did what it took to be able to survive in New York."
She also did what she had to in order to survive in the publishing industry, and eventually applied for an internship at Instyle where she worked as a general intern floating between whichever department or editor needed her support. It wasn't the glamorous fashion job that she had imagined, but it enabled her to touch all aspects of the magazine and get the exposure that she needed amongst the head honchos.
Kahlana was the girl who was down for whatever, even if it meant making lunch runs and playing office maid, and she did so without hesitation. Her reputation for hard work and humility began to get around, and when one of the beauty director's assistant went on vacation for a week, she got the chance to really show the staff what she was made of.
“Even though was only for a week, I wanted to show them what I could do. I would get there at the crack of dawn before she was there. I would leave at night after everyone else. I would just make sure everything she asked me to do was done immaculately."
The internship ended and she passed out thank-you cards to all of the editors, but the dream job at InStyle didn't come right away. Since there were no positions available, Kahlana accepted a job offer at Nordstrom back in Seattle and didn't imagine that she'd ever be strutting InStyle's hallways again. However, a promise that the beauty director she assisted made to call her if anything ever came up turned out to be genuine, and Kahlana's phone was ringing just two weeks later. To her surprise, she was notified that there was an Assistant Editor position that they wanted her to interview for, and not one to pass up an opportunity, Barfield packed her bags and headed back to New York City.
To date, she has been promoted six times within the company, including the positions of Associate Beauty Editor, Beauty Editor, Senior Beauty Editor, Beauty Director, and now Beauty Editor-At-Large.
“A lot of people say in this industry you have to move around in order to grow somewhere, which is true, for most people in order to move up the ranks, but I've been so blessed and fortunate that I work for a company who believes in me, who values me, who loves my ideas, who let's me be me and contribute my vision and my taste level," Kahlana gushes. “I have completely grown up the ladder as I've been here. I feel like I have the perfect dream job to do both fashion and beauty together."
It has certainly been an amazing journey thus far for this boss chick. Kahlana, who is a newlywed and a new mother, has everything to brag about yet she remains humble--the perfect example of what a woman in charge should be. Chatting with her felt familiar, like kicking it with one of my homegirls, and I loved her answer to when I asked her what was next for her career.
“I love the path that I'm on now and as long as I continue to elevate and I continue to challenge myself, then I'm happy."
And we'll be there watching as she soars higher.
RELATED
Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
___
Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Shutterstock
Using the same material from the interior of the Volvo EX90, Hudson crafted a wool-blend car coat and waistbelt that combine the vehicle’s Scandinavian design with his signature tailoring and intention. The exclusive collection launched on October 20, and each piece is made-to-order by Sergio Hudson Collections.
Courtesy
In October, I traveled to Charleston with a group of journalists to get a firsthand look at Hudson and Volvo’s location. During a fitting, Hudson said his goal is to make “great work that can stand the test of time.”
“People can look back on and say, ‘I remember when Sergio did that collaboration with Volvo,’” he continued. “Thinking about aligning yourself with classic brands that speak to where you want to go. And I think that's what this collaboration kind of means to me and my business.”
Hudson pinpoints his mom as the biggest influence for his designs. This collaboration was no different.
“This particular coat reminded me of the swing coats that my mom used to wear in the early 90s. You know, diva girls in the early 90s had Sandra suits,” he said, referring to Jackée Harry’s character in 227. “My mom wore those and she would have these matching swing coats to go over them. And that's where the initial idea came. This would be around the same time that we had our Volvo. So she would put on her suit, her swing coat, get in that red Volvo, and go to church.”
Courtesy
With this capsule and beyond, Hudson wants to see more staples rotating in and out of closets this fall. He advises fashionistas to build her closet out with essentials to mix and match that aren’t just stylish but also sustainable.
“It's just those special pieces,” he said. “You can wear the same shirt and pants every day and nobody will notice. But if you have a special boot, a special coat, a special bill, a special bag, that kind of speaks to everything that your style stands about, that is something you should focus on.”
These are the same kind of staple pieces that return to our Pinterest boards and TikTok feeds season after season. Fast fashion has never been Hudson’s aim. “I'm trying to create a special pieces that can stand the test of time,” he said in his warm, Southern accent. “I'm only creating those kind of pieces from here on out.”
Courtesy
For Hudson, this collaboration is revolutionary. It’s his first time working with a car company and experimenting outside of his wheelhouse in this way.
“This is a Scandinavian brand, and, you know, it's 70 years old. I'm an African-American boy from South Carolina that has had a brand for 10 years. So I think bridging those two worlds and seeing the similarities was the beauty of this project,” he explained.
Though Hudson and his partner and CEO of Sergio Hudson Collections Inga Beckham have made massive strides in just 10 years, Hudson said the industry is far from where he wants to see it when it comes to Black representation. He pointed to how few Black designers were at this year’s Met Gala despite the theme being Black dandyism.
“The fact that I dressed 18 people speaks to how many of us weren't there,” he said. He implored more of industries, fashion and beyond, to collaborate with Black designers often.
“Allow mentorship. Allow funding. Allow great design to shine through,” he implored. “When it comes to being a designer of African descent, when you can't get the funding that your counterparts have, you can't compete. When you get opportunities like doing a collaboration with Volvo, or you get opportunities to be at the Met Gala, that's putting us on the equal playing field, but really the funding behind it is what we need to take it to that desk level.”
Featured image courtesy