Remember those midday naps we were called away from playtime for when we were kids? I hated them. It seemed like they lasted forever and we spent more time pretending to be asleep, waiting for the moment to be told we could get up - fake yawning and returning to play - than we did actually resting. Now incorporating a nap into my daily routine is essential. I even schedule naps into my Google Calendar when necessary. I take my lunch break and will walk my tail out to my car and close my eyes for 15 minutes.
With all the conversations about self-care, I recognize that we often leave out the simplest and most important forms of self-care in favor of the fancier, pop cultural fads. Getting the daily rest we need is one of the best self-care tenants we can live by. As women on the rise, we've got people to see, things to do, and places to be and we need to be at our brightest, quickest, and most alert to make the moves we're here for. We need to rejuvenate on the regular. Adequate naps help tremendously with that.
My girlfriends and I agree: We regret the naps we goofed our way through as kids and will dare anybody to disturb the few we get now. It's hard enough trying to adult and get enough rest but when you throw in the curveball of how to get adequate rest, it can all become a bit trickier.
You might think, "Well, don't you just close your eyes and drift to sleep?" Not necessarily. Consistent studies show that there are proven ways to ensure you're napping to the best of your ability and getting the most out of each nap you take. I've taken the liberty of pulling some of the best tips to getting the best abbreviated shut-eye:
Limit Naps To 30 Minutes Or Less.
According to sleep.org, napping for longer than 30 minutes can counteract the benefits of a nap, which include alertness, enhanced performance, and a better mood. A nap is not supposed to take the place of actual sleep. Think of it as a quick recharge to a smartphone battery halfway through the day. If you charged your phone the night before, halfway through the next day you're perhaps between 65% and 55%. All the phone needs is a little boost in battery power to ensure it isn't completely dead by the end of the day.
It's Not Weird To Feel Tired Halfway Through The Day.
We've all felt that midday slump. You know, the sudden lack of motivation and energy that many of us override with caffeine. That less-than-energetic feeling around say, 2 or 3 p.m. doesn't (necessarily) mean anything is wrong. It's just that our bodies are not machines running on an endless supply of electricity. Our bodies run on what we put into them, how much (and the quality of) rest we get, our physical activity, and our mental/emotional health. Needing a rest in the middle of the day is essentially the way our bodies are designed. Factoring in how to get that rest should be a daily practice for everyone.
You Need A Good Night's Rest
If you're only getting a couple of hours of sleep each night because you're burning the midnight oil or you're binge-watching Being Mary Jane for the fifth time, a nap won't really do you any good the next day. Your body will always be struggling to make up for what it lost during the night. Naps are supplementary to your nightly sleep. The number differs by an hour or two but between 7 and 9 hours of sleep are necessary for peak productivity and better day-to-day health.
Sleeping In The Dark Is Most Effective
Light activity keeps the brain moving, expecting, waiting for something. Darkness allows the brain to settle itself and the body to relax, not expecting anything but rest. When at work, try finding an unoccupied room, setting your phone alarm for a good 15 to 20 minutes, turning out the lights, and dozing off. If that isn't an option, try using your car as Nap Central! Lay the seat back and apply a sleep mask over your eyes.
Try Meditation Apps
Apps like Calm, Headspace, Mindfulness , and MINDBODY (all available for iOS and Android) help you to practice mindfulness, meditation and rest. So, even if you can't take a nap during the day, you can still use one of these apps to close your eyes and allow your body to find its calm and center itself.
What ways can you begin to be more mindful and proactive about getting more rest? Let us know in the comments!
Featured image by Getty Images.
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While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Je-Caryous Johnson Entertainment
Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
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What Is a Praise Kink?
The concept of praise kinks isn't new, but thanks to TikTok, a lot of people are now realizing they might identify as praise kinksters. Currently, the hashtag #praisek1nk is trending with 568.9 million views, with tons of creators posting about their love for compliments and words of affirmation during sex. I, too, love a good compliment during sex. I once had a lover sing my praises about how good I was at a certain bedroom activity. His affirmations gave me WAP, but does that categorize me as having a praise kink?
How To Know if You Have a Praise Kink
Just because you love receiving praise doesn’t mean you have a praise kink. Someone with a praise kink experiences an intense level of sexual excitement from being praised or verbally affirmed by their partner during sex. You might have a praise kink if hearing your partner tell you how pretty you are makes you cum or if the thing that makes sex go from good to great is hearing your partner's thoughts about how good you are at giving head. And if, during solo play, the thing that gets you all hot and bothered is recalling the times your partner called you a good girl, it’s probably a praise kink.
Generally, a kink is a sexual activity that is needed for someone to enjoy sex. When it comes specifically to praise kinks, if you need reassurance from your partner that you're sexy, or good in bed in order to orgasm, you have a praise kink.
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Examples of Praise Kink Phrases To Try With Your Partner
If you’re new to the term and looking to explore, you probably have questions about what phrases to use. It may take a lot of communication and some trial and error to figure out what phrases work best for you and your partner. Ultimately, the best phrases to use vary from person to person and are based on what sex acts you and your partner enjoy, or what parts of their body they like complimented.
To get you started, here are some generic praise kink examples to try out with your partner:
Praise Kink Examples:
- You're such a good girl/boy.
- You're so good at [insert skill].
- You look so hot when you [insert activity].
- Your [insert body part] is irresistible.
- You taste so good. I can't get enough of you.
- You just have the perfect [body part].
- Just like that… you’re doing so good.
- Who taught you how to be so good at [something?]
While many examples of praise kink involve specific verbal affirmations, praise can also come in the form of brief words or phrases like “yes,” “keep going,” or simply a moan. No matter what type you prefer, praise kink is all about finding what feels good and exciting, and turns you and your partner on the most.
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Originally published on November 4, 2022