I Went To The Largest Self-Care Retreat For Black Women In The US & It Changed My Life
Last weekend, I sat with more than 700 Black women in Estes Park, Colorado at the 3rd annual Stress Protest, where a woman named Veronica shared a story about rediscovering self-love only a year after the death of her daughter; later, a woman named Arnetta opened up about how losing her son, father, and brother in less than five years taught her to find her strength in God and value self-care.
While both of these women came from very different walks of life, they both have one very important piece of their journey in common: GirlTrek. Instead of isolating themselves and drowning in their despair, they chose to lace up their sneakers and lean into their pain, and it all started with a pledge to take one 30-minute walk a day.
Courtesy of Girl Trek
There is a health crisis in the Black community, both mental and physical, and GirlTrek, an organization that Oprah Winfrey says is "doing some of the most transformational work on the planet," is here to kick its ass. Founded by Vanessa Very and Morgan Dixon only nine years ago, GirlTrek has now become the largest non-profit health movement for Black Women and girls in the country and is on a relentless mission to save one million Black women's lives by 2020.
It took me crying in a room full of women on top of a mountain to realize that I wasn't keeping it real with myself, about myself. 7 days ago, I was emotionally exhausted, anxious, and stressed TF out.
On top of the normal amount of stress that comes with being adult, Black and female, I was feeling perpetually overwhelmed and unproductive in my professional lane, rushed by my biological clock to find romance, and terribly pessimistic about what it is that I have to offer this world, nevertheless, that still didn't keep me from saying "good" when someone asked me how I was doing. But on Friday, I stepped foot into a transformational three-day long experience that helped me realize that I'm not "good". In fact, sometimes I'm not okay at all, but I'm also not alone.
Courtesy of Girl Trek
If the world looked more like the Stress Protest, it would probably be a much better place. Being surrounded by hundreds of women who look like me and are seeking the same happiness was everything I didn't know I needed, and on October 1st, please believe that your girl will be registering to head up that mountain once again in 2020.
Whether you were in need of a good Reiki healing, a transcendent prayer, or a quality turn-up, the Stress Protest was the perfect way to get your entire life this past Labor Day Weekend. Along with learning to admit my own truths and confront my emotional deficits, I also became a part of a family. I gained a sister named Nicole, who is a filmmaker with an 8-year old from Louisiana, and an auntie named Angie from the East Coast who appreciates the legality of cannabis just as much as I do. While I can't totally put into words how much this experience truly meant to me, I can give you a recap of a few of my favorite moments.
Wellness + melanin + wildnerness = lit AF, and for further evidence of this phenomenon, scroll below for 6 of my favorite moments from this year's Stress Protest:
1.Moving Mountains
Courtesy of Girl Trek
Even though we were surrounded by wild elk, deer, and a number of other forces of nature that you wouldn't want to run up on in a dark alley, Black women moved mountains in Estes Park last weekend by taking on the several hikes that were available. Scaling terrains that ranged in difficulty from beginner to advanced, the Stress Protest offered the perfect hiking option for every kind of adventurer.
2.Tarot & Chill
Courtesy of Girl Trek
3.Miraculous Massages
Courtesy of Girl Trek
After a long hike through the mountains, there's nothing better than being rubbed down with intention, and that's exactly what was going down in the Mind Body Soul tent. Along with fun activities that will get your heart pumping, the Stress Protest also offered massages, acupuncture, and Reiki healing sessions that got our tribe all the way in alignment.
4.Trap Yoga
Courtesy of Girl Trek
5.Surf & Swag
Courtesy of Girl Trek
Whoever told you Black girls can't swim was a damn lie, because this weekend we were getting our hair wet, backstroking, and serving you all of the mermaid energy. According to statistics, Black Americans drown five times more often than white Americans, but this one-hour workshop came to change the narrative. Led by the CEO of Swim Life Fitness, Ms. Adrienne Wesley and the founder of Black Girl Swim, Dr. Asherah Allen, this course was for Black women who were looking to learn the basic swimming techniques while breathing and staying mindful during their aquatic experience.
What are you waiting on, sis? Take the pledge now and join the movement in your city by clicking here! Keep up with GirlTrek's nationwide events by following them on Instagram @GirlTrek!
Featured image courtesy of Story Street Media.
Taylor "Pretty" Honore is a spiritually centered and equally provocative rapper from Baton Rouge, Louisiana with a love for people and storytelling. You can probably find me planting herbs in your local community garden, blasting "Back That Thang Up" from my mini speaker. Let's get to know each other: @prettyhonore.
Exclusive: Melanie Fiona On Making High-Vibrational Music & Saying Yes To Partnership
Melanie Fiona is back! After taking a little more than a decade-long hiatus, she has officially made her return to music and blessed us with two singles, “Say Yes” and “I Choose You.” While both singles are very different from each other, they both reflect who she is today and the type of music she wants to make. In our conversation, the mom of two expressed what she learned during her time away.
“It's interesting, even when I said it is like coming back, I don't ever feel like I really left because I was always still performing. I've still been public. It's not like I went into being this recluse person or version of myself, but the thing that I really learned in this process is that I think things take time,” Melanie says in a xoNecole exclusive.
“I think often we're so caught up in it, being on the timing of demand or popularity, or, like, striking while the iron is hot and the thing that I've learned is that everything is on God's time. That's it. Every time I thought I would have been ready, or, like, things were taking too long, I had to reship some things, personally, professionally, in my life. I also gave myself permission to make a living, not just make a living, but make a life for myself.”
Making a life for herself included getting married to Grammy-nominated songwriter Jared Cotter, starting a family, and embracing new landscapes, such as podcasting as a co-host of The Mama’s Den podcast. She also began doing more spiritual work and self-care practices like meditation, sound healing, Reiki, acupuncture, and boundary setting, which allowed her to get in touch with her inner voice.
“I wasn't putting out music, and I wasn't experiencing a number one record, but I was being a number one mom,” she says.
“I was experiencing things that were allowing me to heal and get in touch with myself so that I could make new music from a space of joy and freedom, and excitement again because I definitely feel like I did lose some excitement because of just politics and industry and what it can do to your mental health and even your physical health. So giving myself the space to really just say, ‘Hey, it's okay. Everything's right on time.’”
The joy and excitement are felt in one of two new singles, “I Choose You,” which is more of a lovers rock vibe, a tribute to Melanie’s Caribbean roots. While the Grammy award-winner is known for ballads like “It Kills Me” and “Fool For You,” she is becoming more intentional about the music she makes, calling it high-vibrational music. She says her music is a “reflection of my life,” as it captures every facet, from hanging out with friends to riding around in her car.
“Say Yes” has the classic R&B vibe Melanie is known for. However, both songs are inspired by her relationship. Melanie and Jared got married in December 2020, and the Toronto-bred artist dished on their relationship. Fun fact: he is featured in the “Say Yes” music video.
“When we first started dating, I had come into that relationship post a lot of self-work. I had gotten out of a long-term relationship, I had a year and a half to date and be by myself and do a lot of work on myself alone. And when we met, I remember feeling like this has to be my person because I feel it,” she says.
“And so when we went into that relationship, and we started dating, I was very clear. I was like, I know what I want. I'm very clear on what I need, and I'm not going to withhold my truth about myself in this process because of pride or fear of rejection. I know you love me, but I'm coming with my heart in my hand to let you know that if we're gonna get there, we have to put fear aside and say yes. So that was kind of like my open letter to him, which is why the video is us having a conversation.”
Melanie also shares that saying yes to her partner has empowered her in many ways, including motherhood and showing up for herself. Her new EP, also titled Say Yes, will be available at the top of 2025.
Check out the full interview below.
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Feature image by Franco Zulueta
Entertaining Like Ayesha Curry: Expert Advice For Holidays Done Right
Be prepared to wow the crowd.
It’s officially the holiday season, which means parties and gatherings galore. Between Friendsgiving, Christmas, and New Year's Eve celebrations, many of us are preparing to host loved ones in our homes one or two times between now and the end of the year. No matter the occasion or season, hosting for family and friends is a labor of love. But we can also agree that entertaining can be overwhelming, especially for first-time hosts.
As a seasoned host and entertainer, Ayesha Curry knows something about creating a memorable event for loved ones. Whether preparing for an intimate dinner with your immediate family or hosting a larger crowd, your guests will think you are a pro this holiday season with her tips on everything from welcoming guests to setting a beautiful table.
Q: What is your top tip for hosting?
Ayesha Curry:Part of being a great host is spending time with your guests, which means you can’t be stuck in the kitchen. Prep is key! I usually serve wine with the meal, but a cocktail or mocktail is a great way to greet guests. I prep the garnish the night before and batch the drink just before guests arrive. When the party begins, I pull everything out of the fridge and am ready to serve.
Writer Note: If you would like to offer non-alcoholic beverages for your sober or sober-curious guests, I love Saint Viviana Cab. It maintains full-body cabernet and flavor; no one will ever guess it’s alcohol-free. You can easily create a signature mocktail using Bittermilk’s Smoked Honey Whiskey Sour mix.
Q: Do you suggest any prep for serving or cooking?
AC:I lay out all my serving dishes and utensils the night before with little post-it notes saying what goes where. That way, I’m not digging around for anything. For more elaborate menus, I lay out quarter sheet pans and label them with tape according to the dish. I prep and measure everything for each recipe and then load each sheet pan with everything needed to make the dish. I wrap each tray in saran or foil, stack them, and place them in the fridge. Pull out the sheet pan you need when cooking, and everything is ready. It’s something I learned at the restaurant that saves so much time.
Q: What’s one item that should always be on a dinner party menu?
AC: Bread or roll with butter is excellent for holding guests over if the kitchen is delayed.
Q: What’s one non-menu item you should always have on hand?
AC: For a non-menu item, wine!
Q: How do you decide on a theme or menu for a gathering?
AC: It all starts with the occasion and the guest list. If it’s a group that doesn’t know each other very well, I may get more elaborate with the theme to help break the ice. For a group of friends or family who don’t get to see each other very often, I usually keep it simple so the evening can be all about catching up. A great playlist, good wine, and a family-style menu are all you need.
Q: Should attendees be expected to bring a gift?
AC: If I’m hosting, I’m not expecting gifts. The gift is taking time to come over and enjoy a meal with me! But bringing something to enjoy at the gathering, like a bottle of wine, is always appreciated.
Q: What are three affordable gifts that guests can give a host?
AC:A bag of excellent coffee is a beautiful gift for a host. Sweet July’s House Blend Coffee is sourced from all-female co-ops, so it’s a gift I love to give to the women in my life. Whether it’s being served after dinner or just for the host to enjoy on their own, you can’t go wrong with a bag of high-end coffee.
Fresh flowers are great if you have a host who likes total control over the food and beverage menu. Go for something neutral in color that can work with any décor.
The Sweet July Olive Oil and Balsamic Vinegar set is my go-to host gift. Bottled in Napa, it’s a gift any foodie will appreciate - and use!
Q: What are some creative tablescape or decor ideas that you love?
AC: I like to keep my dinnerware neutral and classic (like this ceramic collection in nutmeg) and infuse color and texture through linens. For centerpieces, I want to use what I have in my yard. If it’s summer, it might be flowers or greenery, but interesting branches can also look architectural in tall, clear vases next to tapered candles in the colder months. There’s no need to spend a ton of money on flowers.
With Ayesha’s tips, you can create a holiday gathering that your family and friends will cherish forever.
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Featured image by Getty Images