Last weekend, I sat with more than 700 Black women in Estes Park, Colorado at the 3rd annual Stress Protest, where a woman named Veronica shared a story about rediscovering self-love only a year after the death of her daughter; later, a woman named Arnetta opened up about how losing her son, father, and brother in less than five years taught her to find her strength in God and value self-care.
While both of these women came from very different walks of life, they both have one very important piece of their journey in common: GirlTrek. Instead of isolating themselves and drowning in their despair, they chose to lace up their sneakers and lean into their pain, and it all started with a pledge to take one 30-minute walk a day.
There is a health crisis in the Black community, both mental and physical, and GirlTrek, an organization that Oprah Winfrey says is "doing some of the most transformational work on the planet," is here to kick its ass. Founded by Vanessa Very and Morgan Dixon only nine years ago, GirlTrek has now become the largest non-profit health movement for Black Women and girls in the country and is on a relentless mission to save one million Black women's lives by 2020.
It took me crying in a room full of women on top of a mountain to realize that I wasn't keeping it real with myself, about myself. 7 days ago, I was emotionally exhausted, anxious, and stressed TF out.
On top of the normal amount of stress that comes with being adult, Black and female, I was feeling perpetually overwhelmed and unproductive in my professional lane, rushed by my biological clock to find romance, and terribly pessimistic about what it is that I have to offer this world, nevertheless, that still didn't keep me from saying "good" when someone asked me how I was doing. But on Friday, I stepped foot into a transformational three-day long experience that helped me realize that I'm not "good". In fact, sometimes I'm not okay at all, but I'm also not alone.
If the world looked more like the Stress Protest, it would probably be a much better place. Being surrounded by hundreds of women who look like me and are seeking the same happiness was everything I didn't know I needed, and on October 1st, please believe that your girl will be registering to head up that mountain once again in 2020.
Whether you were in need of a good Reiki healing, a transcendent prayer, or a quality turn-up, the Stress Protest was the perfect way to get your entire life this past Labor Day Weekend. Along with learning to admit my own truths and confront my emotional deficits, I also became a part of a family. I gained a sister named Nicole, who is a filmmaker with an 8-year old from Louisiana, and an auntie named Angie from the East Coast who appreciates the legality of cannabis just as much as I do. While I can't totally put into words how much this experience truly meant to me, I can give you a recap of a few of my favorite moments.
Wellness + melanin + wildnerness = lit AF, and for further evidence of this phenomenon, scroll below for 6 of my favorite moments from this year's Stress Protest:
1.Moving Mountains
Courtesy of Girl Trek
Even though we were surrounded by wild elk, deer, and a number of other forces of nature that you wouldn't want to run up on in a dark alley, Black women moved mountains in Estes Park last weekend by taking on the several hikes that were available. Scaling terrains that ranged in difficulty from beginner to advanced, the Stress Protest offered the perfect hiking option for every kind of adventurer.
2.Tarot & Chill
Courtesy of Girl Trek
3.Miraculous Massages
Courtesy of Girl Trek
After a long hike through the mountains, there's nothing better than being rubbed down with intention, and that's exactly what was going down in the Mind Body Soul tent. Along with fun activities that will get your heart pumping, the Stress Protest also offered massages, acupuncture, and Reiki healing sessions that got our tribe all the way in alignment.
4.Trap Yoga
Courtesy of Girl Trek
5.Surf & Swag
Courtesy of Girl Trek
Whoever told you Black girls can't swim was a damn lie, because this weekend we were getting our hair wet, backstroking, and serving you all of the mermaid energy. According to statistics, Black Americans drown five times more often than white Americans, but this one-hour workshop came to change the narrative. Led by the CEO of Swim Life Fitness, Ms. Adrienne Wesley and the founder of Black Girl Swim, Dr. Asherah Allen, this course was for Black women who were looking to learn the basic swimming techniques while breathing and staying mindful during their aquatic experience.
What are you waiting on, sis? Take the pledge now and join the movement in your city by clicking here! Keep up with GirlTrek's nationwide events by following them on Instagram @GirlTrek!
Featured image courtesy of Story Street Media.
In a xoNecoleexclusive, the iconic actress opens up about embracing this season of her life, new projects, and overall being a “bad motherfucker.” Gabrielle reveals that she was 37 years old when she was diagnosed with perimenopause and is still going through it at 51 years old. Mayo Clinic says perimenopause “refers to the time during which your body makes the natural transition to menopause, marking the end of the reproductive years.”
“I haven't crossed over the next phase just yet, but I think part of it is when you hear any form of menopause, you automatically think of your mother or grandmother. It feels like an old-person thing, but for me, I was 37 and like not understanding what that really meant for me. And I don't think we focus so much on the word menopause without understanding that perimenopause is just the time before menopause,” she tells us.
Gabrielle Union
Photo by Brian Thomas
"But you can experience a lot of the same things during that period that people talk about, that they experienced during menopause. So you could get a hot flash, you could get the weight gain, the hair loss, depression, anxiety, like all of it, mental health challenges, all of that can come, you know, at any stage of the menopausal journey and like for me, I've been in perimenopause like 13, 14 years. When you know, most doctors are like, ‘Oh, but it's usually about ten years, and I'm like, ‘Uhh, I’m still going (laughs).’”
Conversations about perimenopause, fibroids, and all the things that are associated with women’s bodies have often been considered taboo and thus not discussed publicly. However, times are changing, and thanks to the Gabrielle’s and the Tia Mowry’s, more women are having an authentic discourse about women’s health. These open discussions lead to the creation of more safe spaces and support for one another.
“I want to be in community with folks. I don't ever want to feel like I'm on an island about anything. So, if I can help create community where we are lacking, I want to be a part of that,” she says. “So, it's like there's no harm in talking about it. You know what I mean? Like, I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change. I'm just getting better and stronger and more intelligent, more wise, more patient, more compassionate, more empathetic. All of that is very, very welcomed, and none of it should be scary.”
The Being Mary Jane star hasn’t been shy about her stance on therapy. If you don’t know, here’s a hint: she’s all for it, and she encourages others to try it as well. She likens therapy to dating by suggesting that you keep looking for the right therapist to match your needs. Two other essential keys to her growth are radical transparency and radical acceptance (though she admits she is still working on the latter).
"I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change."
Gabrielle Union and Kaavia Union-Wade
Photo by Monica Schipper/Getty Images
“I hope that a.) you recognize that you're not alone. Seek out help and know that it's okay to be honest about what the hell is happening in your life. That's the only way that you know you can get help, and that's also the only other way that people know that you are in need if there's something going on,” she says, “because we have all these big, very wild, high expectations of people, but if they don't know what they're actually dealing with, they're always going to be failing, and you will always be disappointed. So how about just tell the truth, be transparent, and let people know where you are. So they can be of service, they can be compassionate.”
Gabrielle’s transparency is what makes her so relatable, and has so many people root for her. Whether through her TV and film projects, her memoirs, or her social media, the actress has a knack for making you feel like she’s your homegirl. Scrolling through her Instagram, you see the special moments with her family, exciting new business ventures, and jaw-dropping fashion moments. Throughout her life and career, we’ve seen her evolve in a multitude of ways. From producing films to starting a haircare line to marriage and motherhood, her journey is a story of courage and triumph. And right now, in this season, she’s asking, “What’s next?”
“This is a season of discovery and change. In a billion ways,” says the NAACP Image Award winner. “The notion of like, ‘Oh, so and so changed. They got brand new.’ I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
"I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
She continues, “So I'm just trying to figure out what's next. You know what I mean? I'm jumping into what's next. I'm excited going into what's next and new. I'm just sort of embracing all of what life has to offer.”
Look out for Gabrielle in the upcoming indie film Riff Raff, which is a crime comedy starring her and Jennifer Coolidge, and she will also produce The Idea of You, which stars Anne Hathaway.
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Feature image by Mike Lawrie/Getty Images
Taylor founded Mastermind MGMT, an agency that represents some of Hollywood’s best “image architects” like Roach, Kellon Deryck, and Kollin Carter, who are responsible for creating unforgettable style and beauty moments for celebrities like Zendaya, Megan Thee Stallion, Taraji P. Henson, and more. Taylor and her company possess an array of functions, but her biggest role is to be her client’s advocate. We hear endless stories about how creatives aren’t paid or underpaid in the entertainment industry, but Taylor ensures that her clients get their piece of the pie. The entrepreneur opened up about her company and her non-profit, Mastermind Matters, in an exclusive interview with xoNecole.
“I always say that I'm an artist advocate first, deal closer second. So my primary focus is to just make sure that the artist is getting everything that they deserve, whether it's compensation or, you know, certain accommodations, but just making sure that they have everything that they need to be able to show up and provide the best service that they're hired for,” she explained.
“So you know, in the beginning, it was hard because I didn't have any experience, and the artists who I was working with at the time–we were learning together, meaning neither of us had assisted anyone. We didn't have mentors in our specific fields. So every deal was like a new learning experience for us from the styling side and also from the business side, and so it took, you know, doing some research, using some very creative tactics, to find out information in the industry and just starting to request accommodations that I knew other artists were granted, who maybe didn't look like my artists.”
Photo by Christopher Marrs
Ten years later, there’s still not many people who are doing what Taylor is doing. However, things have gotten easier thanks to the research and connections she made in the beginning. During Mastermind MGMT’s ten-year anniversary celebration, she announced her non-profit, Mastermind Matters, which is a 501(c)(3) non-profit that focuses on helping young entrepreneurs through a 12-week program. The program is divided into “two routes.” The first route is for aspiring creative artists who want to start a business from their talent and all the things they need to learn about business, such as taxes, life insurance, etc. The second route is for practicing creative artists who are already in the industry but need resources such as how to plan for retirement or how to sustain themselves if they can’t work for a short amount of time, i.e., the pandemic.
“I just feel that I'm able to have a business and be successful because of their art as well. And so there are things that I know, I tried to teach it to them but understanding that I can only do so much because I'm not a subject matter expert in those fields,” she said. “So I at least want to be able to provide the resources, and then if they make their grown decision not to do it, then that's on them. But you know, I could be guilt-free and taking advantage of the resources that I'm also providing to them.”
Taylor continues to be an innovator in her industry by always pushing the boundaries of creativity and thinking one step ahead of everyone else. The Chicago-bred businesswoman is moving into the tech space thanks to a new invention created with her clients in mind, and she is looking forward to bigger collaborations in the future. Follow Mastermind MGMT on Instagram @mastermind_mgmt for more information.
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Feature image by Christopher Marrs
