I Have Everything I've Ever Wanted, Now What?


You've got your education, your dream job, the love of your life, your family, and you look better than ever…so why are you still so unhappy? It's a question that many women find themselves asking and the answer is not always immediately available. On paper, you've seemingly checked off everything on life's to-do list, but somehow you're still left with feelings of unfulfillment, restlessness, and even depression.

We often stress about making it, but never really discuss what happens once you get there.

There are a few factors that can make someone still feel unhappy after achieving everything they set out to do. Perhaps the dreams you had and conquered weren't yours at all, but someone else's dreams for you instead. Or maybe you were simply doing what you thought you should, as dictated by society's standards.

Regardless of the reason, it's important to know that you are certainly not alone, as many also feel the same way. It's kind of like the excitement and anticipation you had when you were a kid on Christmas morning when you couldn't wait to open your new presents—you played with them for a little while, but then you were in search of something else.

One of the easiest ways to tackle this feeling head on is to find out just exactly what it is that will make you happy, not anyone else.

Write down a list of your true passions and desires that have absolutely nothing to do with the life you're currently living. Once you write them down, it allows you to visualize making them a reality. Also, don't be afraid to change things up if your heart is no longer in it. If your job, relationship, financial situation, or even the way you look, are no longer serving you in a healthy and productive way it may be time to reevaluate some things or let them go entirely.

Since we live in the social media era where appearance matters more than reality, it can easily cause you to get caught up in the current climate of blurred reality lines. You don't need to put on for anyone and the only person's approval you should seek is your own. You read stories all the time about how someone left a lucrative corporate job to embrace their true passion, but while many may not understand it because they're looking at the flash, they fail to realize that all that glitters is definitely not gold.

The question really comes down to this: do you want to be happy on paper or do you want to really be happy? Whatever your answer is make sure that you come to it on your own terms—not those that were created for you by someone else.

If you find yourself having trouble answering that question, here are some easy ways you can reignite your passion and reinvigorate your life.

  • Make Your Passion a Reality: Whether you have one specific thing you're passionate about or many, strive to bring them to fruition. By zeroing in on things that truly matter to you and feed your soul, you will gain a new sense of purpose in life and feel more complete.
  • Schedule Time for Self-Care: Your physical, mental, and emotional well-being is essential to you being happy and feeling whole. It's easy to put yourself last, but when you are seeking a renewed fulfillment to life, one of the first things to do is to take care of yourself.
  • Understand What Your Happiness Looks Like: Individual happiness is not one size fits all, it's something that should be tailor-made for each person. While those around you may think that your current situation should make you happy, you have to understand what your version of happiness is. Maybe it's living a more balanced or minimalistic life, or perhaps filling your life with helping others. Whatever it is, embrace your happiness without focusing on the judgment of others.
  • Surround Yourself With Support: When deciding to embark on a new life path you may not have a ton of support, but as long as you can find at least one person who supports and understands your journey, you'll be fine. Also, you'll likely find new friends along the way who encourage you in ways that you never thought of.
  • Embrace Your Mistakes: When seeking out your life's purpose and true passion, it's completely normal to make mistakes and have some failures along the way. Adversity makes you stronger, so when you reach your final destination of happiness, it will be even sweeter because you know the challenges you faced to get there.

Featured image by Getty Images

You know what? Sometimes, you've got to push a few coins aside and determine in your mind that you're going to invest into your sex life (if you had a sex jar, this would be easier to do, by the way. You can read more about what that is all about here). If you're someone who is totally down to do that, but you don't have a clue where to begin, boy have you come to the right place! Between the joy of being a writer who sometimes gets samples sent to me, the constant research that I do for the couples I work with and having folks shout-out certain items semi-often, I've compiled a list of 12 sex-related items that may seem random AF (a pun is kind of intended there) and, at the same time, can make sex so much better between you and your partner. Where's your pad at? You're definitely gonna wanna take note.

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