I Have Everything I've Ever Wanted, Now What?
You've got your education, your dream job, the love of your life, your family, and you look better than ever…so why are you still so unhappy? It's a question that many women find themselves asking and the answer is not always immediately available. On paper, you've seemingly checked off everything on life's to-do list, but somehow you're still left with feelings of unfulfillment, restlessness, and even depression.
We often stress about making it, but never really discuss what happens once you get there.
There are a few factors that can make someone still feel unhappy after achieving everything they set out to do. Perhaps the dreams you had and conquered weren't yours at all, but someone else's dreams for you instead. Or maybe you were simply doing what you thought you should, as dictated by society's standards.
Regardless of the reason, it's important to know that you are certainly not alone, as many also feel the same way. It's kind of like the excitement and anticipation you had when you were a kid on Christmas morning when you couldn't wait to open your new presents—you played with them for a little while, but then you were in search of something else.
One of the easiest ways to tackle this feeling head on is to find out just exactly what it is that will make you happy, not anyone else.
Write down a list of your true passions and desires that have absolutely nothing to do with the life you're currently living. Once you write them down, it allows you to visualize making them a reality. Also, don't be afraid to change things up if your heart is no longer in it. If your job, relationship, financial situation, or even the way you look, are no longer serving you in a healthy and productive way it may be time to reevaluate some things or let them go entirely.
Since we live in the social media era where appearance matters more than reality, it can easily cause you to get caught up in the current climate of blurred reality lines. You don't need to put on for anyone and the only person's approval you should seek is your own. You read stories all the time about how someone left a lucrative corporate job to embrace their true passion, but while many may not understand it because they're looking at the flash, they fail to realize that all that glitters is definitely not gold.
The question really comes down to this: do you want to be happy on paper or do you want to really be happy? Whatever your answer is make sure that you come to it on your own terms—not those that were created for you by someone else.
If you find yourself having trouble answering that question, here are some easy ways you can reignite your passion and reinvigorate your life.
- Make Your Passion a Reality: Whether you have one specific thing you're passionate about or many, strive to bring them to fruition. By zeroing in on things that truly matter to you and feed your soul, you will gain a new sense of purpose in life and feel more complete.
- Schedule Time for Self-Care: Your physical, mental, and emotional well-being is essential to you being happy and feeling whole. It's easy to put yourself last, but when you are seeking a renewed fulfillment to life, one of the first things to do is to take care of yourself.
- Understand What Your Happiness Looks Like: Individual happiness is not one size fits all, it's something that should be tailor-made for each person. While those around you may think that your current situation should make you happy, you have to understand what your version of happiness is. Maybe it's living a more balanced or minimalistic life, or perhaps filling your life with helping others. Whatever it is, embrace your happiness without focusing on the judgment of others.
- Surround Yourself With Support: When deciding to embark on a new life path you may not have a ton of support, but as long as you can find at least one person who supports and understands your journey, you'll be fine. Also, you'll likely find new friends along the way who encourage you in ways that you never thought of.
- Embrace Your Mistakes: When seeking out your life's purpose and true passion, it's completely normal to make mistakes and have some failures along the way. Adversity makes you stronger, so when you reach your final destination of happiness, it will be even sweeter because you know the challenges you faced to get there.
Featured image by Getty Images
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Danielle Jennings is an Atlanta-based Style Writer/Editor, Tastemaker, Girl About Town, Fashion & Music Obsessed Long-Lost Huxtable Kid who is coming for everything they told her she couldn't have...one article at a time. Twitter: @daniellej416 IG: @prettyaries16
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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ItGirl In Motion: Paige Shari Addison Shows Us Why She's The Hostess With The Mostess
Paige Shari Addison is the epitome of an ItGirl, which is why she is one of 100 ladies on xoNecole's inaugural ItGirl 100 list in partnership with Hyundai. Hailing from Atlanta, Georgia, Paige started her journey as a host in high school by hosting parties. Since then, she has made a career in hosting, from parties to big-name events, and she launched Strictly RNB, a platform for new artists and R&B lovers. Paige reflects on her creative path in the limited video series "ItGirl in Motion."
“My first curated event at Criminal Records was incredible. It was all for up-and-coming artists,” she says. “I needed a platform for us as a collective to be able to give ourselves the platform instead of asking for it, instead of looking for it. I was like, I want to make sure I let people get this experience that I would give as a performer but enjoy the experience with them. It was a dream come true.”
The Atlanta native also has her own line of acai bowls called Soulfull Bowls. She started it during the pandemic after events and parties shut down. But it was her love for eating acai bowls and the reactions others had to them that made her want to make it her next business move. Being open to creating new ventures in the midst of uncertainty is a bold move and one of the reasons why Paige has the “it” factor.
“Being an ItGirl means you’re just authentic. There’s an air to us. We have confidence that exudes from the way we speak, the way we put our lip gloss on, the way we walk, the way we talk. I show up as myself everytime I walk into a room. I’m hospitable, I make sure everybody’s good,” she says.
Get to know more about the hostess with the mostess in the video above.
See our ItGirl 100 list in full here. Click through the gallery below for some BTS moments of Paige and our partnership with Hyundai.
Director: Mikkoh @mikkoh
Production company: @polly___studio
Producer/AD: Samuel Cho @choboi90
Producer/Tech: Paul Nguyen @paul__winn
DP: Cristian Bernal @cristianbernal
Editor: @30inthemorning
2nd Cam: Paul Nguyen
1st AC: AJ Paug @ajpaug Gaffer: Dennis Albert @dennisalbert_
Audio Mixer: Victor Chavez @vic_the__
PA: Rick Carreno @ispeakrick
PA: Tiffany Do @tivani.doee
BTS Photo: Prime @theartofprime
Car Detail: @sud_studs @slugglobal
Creative Director @hellobosco
Team Lead @kevgumbo3000
Project Manager @zakk_jullot
Creative Producer @iamkingsheyla
Designers @miacolemxn @noelspiva
@xoNecole
Director, Integrated Marketing @_vang
Campaign Manager @kingchachiii
Talent Lead @kaylawalker
Feature image by Prime/ @theartof prime