You've got your education, your dream job, the love of your life, your family, and you look better than ever…so why are you still so unhappy? It's a question that many women find themselves asking and the answer is not always immediately available. On paper, you've seemingly checked off everything on life's to-do list, but somehow you're still left with feelings of unfulfillment, restlessness, and even depression.
We often stress about making it, but never really discuss what happens once you get there.
There are a few factors that can make someone still feel unhappy after achieving everything they set out to do. Perhaps the dreams you had and conquered weren't yours at all, but someone else's dreams for you instead. Or maybe you were simply doing what you thought you should, as dictated by society's standards.
Regardless of the reason, it's important to know that you are certainly not alone, as many also feel the same way. It's kind of like the excitement and anticipation you had when you were a kid on Christmas morning when you couldn't wait to open your new presents—you played with them for a little while, but then you were in search of something else.
One of the easiest ways to tackle this feeling head on is to find out just exactly what it is that will make you happy, not anyone else.
Write down a list of your true passions and desires that have absolutely nothing to do with the life you're currently living. Once you write them down, it allows you to visualize making them a reality. Also, don't be afraid to change things up if your heart is no longer in it. If your job, relationship, financial situation, or even the way you look, are no longer serving you in a healthy and productive way it may be time to reevaluate some things or let them go entirely.
Since we live in the social media era where appearance matters more than reality, it can easily cause you to get caught up in the current climate of blurred reality lines. You don't need to put on for anyone and the only person's approval you should seek is your own. You read stories all the time about how someone left a lucrative corporate job to embrace their true passion, but while many may not understand it because they're looking at the flash, they fail to realize that all that glitters is definitely not gold.
The question really comes down to this: do you want to be happy on paper or do you want to really be happy? Whatever your answer is make sure that you come to it on your own terms—not those that were created for you by someone else.
If you find yourself having trouble answering that question, here are some easy ways you can reignite your passion and reinvigorate your life.
- Make Your Passion a Reality: Whether you have one specific thing you're passionate about or many, strive to bring them to fruition. By zeroing in on things that truly matter to you and feed your soul, you will gain a new sense of purpose in life and feel more complete.
- Schedule Time for Self-Care: Your physical, mental, and emotional well-being is essential to you being happy and feeling whole. It's easy to put yourself last, but when you are seeking a renewed fulfillment to life, one of the first things to do is to take care of yourself.
- Understand What Your Happiness Looks Like: Individual happiness is not one size fits all, it's something that should be tailor-made for each person. While those around you may think that your current situation should make you happy, you have to understand what your version of happiness is. Maybe it's living a more balanced or minimalistic life, or perhaps filling your life with helping others. Whatever it is, embrace your happiness without focusing on the judgment of others.
- Surround Yourself With Support: When deciding to embark on a new life path you may not have a ton of support, but as long as you can find at least one person who supports and understands your journey, you'll be fine. Also, you'll likely find new friends along the way who encourage you in ways that you never thought of.
- Embrace Your Mistakes: When seeking out your life's purpose and true passion, it's completely normal to make mistakes and have some failures along the way. Adversity makes you stronger, so when you reach your final destination of happiness, it will be even sweeter because you know the challenges you faced to get there.
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These days, it's for a completely different purpose, though. Now that I am in the hopefully latter stages of perimenopause (I’m not sure because my mother had a full hysterectomy at 29, her mother died at 53 and I don’t deal with my paternal grandmother because…chile… ) — although I have always had relatively easy cycles and I could definitely set my watch to them, about two years ago, my periods started to show up whenever they felt like it and it was damn near a crime scene once they did.
It was driving me crazy, and so, my nurse practitioner recommended that I take progestin-only pills to shorten, if not completely stop, my cycle: “After a year or so, we can wean off and see if you are entering into menopause on your own.” (Whew, perimenopause, chile.)
Although the first five months of being on this particular pill made me wonder if it was worth it to take this approach, I actually re-upped for another 12-month cycle because the extra progestin (a synthetic form of progesterone) has benefitted me in other areas as well because I am sleeping more soundly and my weight is more stabilized (by the way, when these things are “off,” they are signs of low progesterone levels). However, I did ask my nurse practitioner if, once I do decide to wean off of the pill, would there be any issues.
Her response is what inspired me to write this article because, until she said “post-birth control syndrome” to me, I had no idea there was such a thing. Anyway, if you give me a sec, I’ll explain to you what it is and why you should care if hormone-related birth control is currently a part of your life.
Yes, Post-Birth Control Syndrome Is a Very Real Thing
GiphyOkay, so it’s important to always remember that the way that birth control works is it “manipulates” your hormones so that you can significantly reduce your chances of conceiving. This means that taking them could result in some side effects including nausea; weight gain; headaches; irregular periods and/or spotting; increased stress; depression; blurry vision; breast tenderness, and/or a lowered libido.
That said, even though birth control pills are basically 99 percent effective (when taken correctly and consistently), if the side effects that you are experiencing are making you close to miserable, you should absolutely share that with your healthcare provider because…what’s the sense in preventing pregnancy when you don’t even feel up to having sex because you don’t feel good or your sex drive is shot? More times than not, your provider can find you another pill brand or option that will help you to feel more like yourself.
With that out of the way, think about it — if going on the pill can produce side effects, why would going off of it…not? And this is where post-birth control syndrome comes in.
For the most part, it’s what can happen to your body once you decide to come off of birth control. Typically, the symptoms will last anywhere between 4-6 months and, although the symptoms seem to present themselves most intensely as it relates to going off of the pill, any hormone-related birth control (like IUDs, injections, patches, the ring or implants) could produce similar outcomes.
Outcomes like what?
- Irregular cycles
- Breakouts
- Excessive gas and/or bloating
- Weight gain
- Anxiety and/or depression
- Fertility issues
- Migraines and/or headaches
- Shifts in your libido
- Sleeplessness/restlessness
- Hair loss
Whoa, right? And if a part of you is wondering, “Okay, if this is indeed the case, why have I not heard of this syndrome before?” It’s because it’s not a term that conventional method uses nearly as much as alternative medicine does. Still, it makes all of the sense in the world that if your body has to adjust to an uptick in hormonal intake, it would also need to adjust to removing those extra doses of hormones from your system as well. COMMON. DAMN. SENSE.
Anyway, if you were thinking about taking a break from birth control and taking all of this in has you feeling a bit…let’s go with the word “trepidatious” about doing so, I totally get it. There are some things that you can do to make experiencing post-birth control syndrome either a non-issue or a far more bearable one, though.
7 Home Remedies That Can Make Coping with Post-Birth Control Syndrome Easier
Giphy1. Take a multivitamin.Something that’s fascinating about what going off of birth control can do is it sometimes has the ability to lower your nutrition levels as it relates to certain vitamins and minerals; this is especially the case when it comes to vitamins B, C, E and minerals like magnesium, selenium and zinc. So, if you don’t currently take a multivitamin, now would be the time to start (along with consuming foods that are particularly high in those nutrients as well).
2. Up your vitamin D intake. Speaking of nutrient levels, a vitamin level that commonly drops after going off of birth control isvitamin D. This is hella critical to keep in mind as a Black woman since many of us tend to be naturally deficient in the vitamin as-is and vitamin D is important when it comes to fighting off diseases, regulating weight and keeping your moods stabilized (for starters). So, make sure that your multivitamin has vitamin D in it. Also make sure to consume vitamin D-enriched foods like fatty fish, eggs, mushrooms, yogurt and fortified orange juice.
3. Drink herbal teas. Since going off of birth control will cause your hormones to be all over the place for a season, consider drinking some herbal teas that will help to stabilize them. Black cohosh contains phytoestrogen properties, Chasteberry can help to level out your prolactin levels and green tea can help your hormones out by helping to balance out your insulin (which can sometimes directly affect them).
4. Keep some ibuprofen nearby. The headaches and migraines? Until those subside, you and ibuprofen are probably going to become really good friends; although I will add that ginger tea and inhaling essential oils like chamomile and lavender can help to ease migraine-related symptoms too.
5. Do some meditating. Waiting for your hormones to get back on track can be stressful as all get out. That said, something that can get your cortisol (stress hormone) levels to chill out is to meditate. If meditation is new for you, check out “7 Meditation Hacks (For People Who Can't Seem To Do It).”
6. Get massages. As if you needed an excuse to get a massage, right (check out “12 Different Massage Types. How To Know Which Is Right For You.”)? However, there is some evidence to back the fact that regular massages (somewhere around once a month) can help to lower your stress, boost your dopamine, increase blood flow and drain your lymphatic system so that you will have more energy.
7. Sleep/rest more. There is plenty of scientific research out here which says that sleep deprivation can throw your hormones out of whack — and since your hormones are already trying to stabilize themselves, you definitely need to get 6-8 hours of sleep and not feel the least bit guilty about taking naps sometimes too.
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Post-birth control syndrome may not be the most pleasant thing about getting off of birth control yet it is manageable. So, now that you know all about it, you can feel more confident about taking a birth control break (or getting off altogether) — without the surprises that can come with doing it. Give thanks.
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